Conference 7.286::sports_91

    
    
    I HOPE MIAMI IS GOING TO WIN THE S.B.THIS YEAR. THERE TEAM IS GETTING
    OLD AND I DONT KNOW HOW LONG DAN M. IS GOING TO BE AROUND? THEY CANT WIN
    WITHOUT HIM . I THINK HE IS ONE OF THE BEST Q.B. IN FOOTBALL.

    Hello, this is the Crunch Police. Anybody seen Crunchie? Heard he was
    here?

ONE MAN IS NOT TOO BLAM!

DAN MARION IS A GIRLYMON WHO WEAR A DRESS.  EVRY ONE ALWAY ON 
TONI EASYON LIKE CAHINSAW BUT TH EONE WHO REELLY WUZ BADE WEAS
DAN MARION.

DAN MARION IS OVERYPEHED AND OVAR RATED.  BERNIE KAOZR IS BETR
THEN DAN MARION.  TONI EASYON CUD NOCK CHANISAW ON HIS BUT BUTR
DAN MARION NO COUD.

YU AR TWO BLAM DUG ROSS  YOU RU TO BLAM!!!!!!


RBASO

    DOLFUNS SUX THE BIG 1'S. 
    
    DuG FLUTIE ISWUZ THE BEST QB EVER WAS. PATRIUST ROOOL. DOLFUNS HAVE
    SISSIE COLORS - LOOK LIKE HOLLIEWOOD FAGS. 
    
    CrUnCh
    

CRUNCH YOU OUR TO BLAMM!

EVRY WON KNOES THAT DUOG FLTEY WAS NO QB LIKE TONI EASYON.  TINI EASYON
WUZ THE BAST QB THAT TEH PATROITS EVERY HAD AND YOU KNOW THTA IS
RITE.

DAN MARION IS A HOLYWOD FAG LIE DUG FRUTY!

YOU R OT BLAM! 

BLAM BLAM BLAM!

RBASO

    BRUTAL, JUICE! BRUTAL!
    
    HEY WAIT A MINUTE, THIS ISN'T THE DEVIL'S NOTE!

    
    	You guys are hurting my Ears! :*)
    
    B.A.

    MISTUR SAWCHAIN
    
    YU AR FULL OF THE STUF THAT THE DOLFUNS DUMP ON THE FIWELD.
    
    DUG FLUITIE IS GAHD AND U DON'[T KNOW IT! YU BETTER GET ON THE
    BANDWAGUM CUZ DUG FLUTIE IS GONNA BRING HIS CANADIEN BACON TEEM INTO
    THE USA AND BEET THE SOOPER BOLE GINATS IN A BIG GAME THAT HOWAQRD
    COSSSEL WILL ANNUNCE.
    
    U BR TO BLAM! NOT ME TO BLAM!
    
    CRUNCH IS ALIVE AND WELL AND LIVING IN ECUADOR

Crunch...ER I MEAN

CRUCH!

U AR TO BLAM.  BUG FLUTY IS AN ANCHOL BITER WHO IS NOTT GUD LIKE
TONI EASYON.  ASK JDEE HOW GOOD IS TONY EASYON.

DOG FLOOTY IS NO GOOD IS CNADAIE BAKING FOR SURE. TEH ONELY GUY
THAT DUNG FLUTY IS BETTER THNA IS MINOR HARRIS I MEEN MAJR HARIES!!!

YO CAN BLAM YOURSELVE CURNH!

DO CRUCH BERRIES STAY CRUNCHY EVEN IN MILCH?

HAHAHAHAHA

YOU AR TO BLAM!

    (This is fun)
    
    O YEAAAH?
    
    WEL TONJI EEESON IS A FAGGOT IN CLEEETS AN HE DONT KNO HOW TO THRO THE
    FUTBAL GIUD AT ALL. JDEE DONT KNOW ABOUT DUG FLOUTIE CUZ DOYUG
    FLUYOOTIE IS THE BEST THE RE EVAH WASZ. JUST ASK BERNIE
    
    KOZAAR WHO UZE TO PLKAY FOR MIAMI HURINADOES. DUG FLURTOIE BEET HIM BAD
    IN DE ORAGINIA BOWL WITH "THE PAZZ".
    
    ONLY THING EEESON IZ KNOWN FOR IZ THE "INCOMPLEEET PAZ". EESON IS A
    SISSY GIRLIE MON. JADEE TOLD ME SO IN THE MILLL BE4 HE WENT TO
    SEAAATTLE. 
    
    U R to BLam
    
    CRUNNC
    

JDEE TOLD ME THAT BERNIE COUD PUT KELLY STUFFER ON HIS BUTT
AND IF BURNEY COUL DDO THAT THAN DOG FULETY IS TOO BLAAM.

TINI EAYSON PLAS FOR THE EJTS NOW THE DAN SHNIDER ALL WORDL
KOK JETS AND HE MOST BE TEH BEST BUT DONG FLUTE IS UP THE
THE GRATE WHIT NORHT WITH THAT TEM TEH BUSTON COLEGE LIONS
UP THER EH AND HE OS NO GUE EXCEPT FOR BEING BETTE THAN
CERNAL CAPTINA MAJOR HARRIS.

EVEN TONI RICES IS IN THE WLFAR FOOBAL LEAGEU IN EUROP.

BYUT DONGFLUTEE IS NOGOD.

TONY EASYON ROOLS HE ROOLS HRULES!

WATE TIL TONY EAYSON JETS PLAY DAN MARION. TONY EWILL BETE THEN
WITH WHORLD CALASS RESEEVERS!

DONG LUTY WIILL JUST BE STILLTRY ING TO SEE OVER TH ELINE MAN
IN FORNT OF HIM UP IN BUSTON COLALGE IONSL.

IF DONG LUTE NOT CARFULL, MAJRO HARISS TAKE HIZ JUB!

RBASO

    Looks like we got Friday on MOnday this week :-)  :-)
    
    I'm laughing so hard my tummy hurts -- thanks heavens everywon but
    the cleaingin crew has gone hoem.
    
    A&W

    YUZE THINK TONI EESON IS GUD? HE IS 2 BL;AM. 
    
    THE JESTS WIF TINI EEESON ARE WIMPSZ AND THE PATSRIOTS ROOL THE GAME
    WEN THEYE PLEY FUTBAL IN SULBORO FIEEELD IN FOXBURRRO.
    
    /DON ROBINCHAIUD NOZE TONEE EASSSUN A WIMPY GURLY PURSONA. EVEN JAY DEE
    KNOZE THIS BUT IS FRADE TO TELL UZ HEREE IN NUTES.
    
    DAN SCHEINEFDDER IS BILNDE WEN IT CUMS TO JETS. HE IS TO BLAM!
    
    ABD WHAT DO YU KNO? I PUNCHED UT SCOTT HAMILTON, THE MANLEE FIGUURE
    SKAATERE SO I AM TOOO TUFF. DON' MESS WIT MEE. I AM NOT TOO BLAM!
    
    DOLFINS WIL FAL TOO THE MITEY PATREIOTSA. MAREENO <a FAGGUT WILLL GET
    HISS HED HANDE TO HIME.
    
    CrunCH
    

    You guys slay me !

O YU BIG TUFF GY Y OU.  YOU PUCH OUT SCOT HAIMLTON!  

YOU THING YOU OUR SO TUFF.  I PUNCHD OT DICK BUTONS WHO WUZ
A TUF FIGUREE SKOOTER BEFOR SCOT HAMEL TON WAZ A TWEENKIE IN
HIS DADOS I!

DONG FLUTEE IS NO GUD!

YOU R NO GUD.  TONY EASEON SI THE BEST!  HE WEEL PUT U AND
SCUT HAMULTAN ON YOUR BUTTZ!

DAN MARION IS THE DONG FLUTE OF THE NFL!

YOU ARR TOO BLAM TOO BLAM!

CURNCH YOU ARE TO BLAM!


RBASO

>>>DAN MARION IS THE DONG FLUTE OF THE NFL!
    
    
    I dunno 'saw I think you blew dat wun.

    DIKE BUTON IS A FAGOTE. SCOT HAMILOTKN COULD BEET HIM GUID. SCUT
    HAMBURG IS 1 TUFF GUYE, I TEL YU! 
    
    DUG FLOORTIE CUD WIPE THE FLLOOUR WITHE DICKE BOTTON. DUG FLIOORTIE IS
    THE BESTED PLAYERS THAT EVERE WAS TO PLAYE THE GAMES OV FUTBALL. DUGE
    FLURTIE CUD BEET THE CRAPOLAY OUT OV KEELY STOUFFERE. KELLY IS A FAGGOT
    WHO DATES DIKE BUTONE. ASK JAE DEE, HE NOZE. DUG FLUOTIE IS NOT TO
    BLAM!
    
    YOU R 2 BLAM!
    
    DAN MAERIONO DUSN'T WARE A JOCKE. HE DUZN'T HAF TOO. HE'Z A GIRL!
    DOUGE FLOOTIE WARES A IRON JOCK CUZ HE'Z SOOO MANLEE. DUG FLOOOUTIE IS
    A MANLEE MAN,
    
    WHAT DOO U NO? YOU ARE TO BLAM?
    
    CrunCH
    

    What's happening Stateside guys - anything to report on the Fins or 
    league in general. When does the '91 draft begin & what picks are the
    Fins due this season ?
    			  Any prominent players who won't be around
    this season.....
    		    Hootsmon. 

    The drafts has been and gone.  Check around the file, I'm sure you'll
    find the info yo're looking for.
    
�    			  Any prominent players who won't be around
�    this season.....
    
    Yeah, Marino retired.
    
    Just kidding.

    I'm suprised nobody has commented on Dano Marino's
    new (?) contract which was signed last night.
    
    Poor poor Dan, he's only got a 5 year $25 Million contract.
    
    Lets C now, that's 5 mil a year divided by 16 games divided by
    60 minutes = fairly interesting bucks per minute.
    ~/~
    
    Who says stay in school????  I don't know too many colleje grads
    who'll EVER earn in their lifetime what poor Dano's gonna get
    in 1 year!!!
    
    Kev
    

    Re .21
    
    Kev, not to dilute your bucks per minute formula, but my schedule show
    a seventeen (17) game regular season. 
    
    Is this the first season that this takes palce?
    
    Do we have to go back and asterisk all old stats or all future stats?
    
    Inquiring minds...
    
    Conan
    

    It's still a 16-game schedule, it's just spread over 17 weeks.
                                  
    Joe

    Starting in the 1990 season, the NFL went to a 16-game-in-17-weeks
    schedule giving each team one open date.  Starting in the 1992 season,
    the NFL will go to a 16-game-in-18-weeks schedule giving each team two
    open dates.
    
    John

    .21�    Who says stay in school????  I don't know too many colleje grads
    .21�    who'll EVER earn in their lifetime what poor Dano's gonna get
    .21�    in 1 year!!!
    
    	I don't know of any college grads who are as good as Marino
    either!
    
    B.A.
    

    THats 5,208.33 per/minute ...Id take that for a month !!!!
    								Mab

    Hell I'd settle for that for a minute!
    

    So, now that Smit is injured, who will be the big runner for the Fins?
    
    How bout targets for Marino??  Any rookies/free agents/plan b types
    ready to step forward.  (Clayton/Duper finished???)
    
    JD

 They draft Aaron Craver at RB who is rated fairly high by a few scouts.
 They also took Randall the thrill Hill of the Hurricane Institution for
 the Criminally Insane at WR. He's got the speed Marino will love the 
 question is will he have the discipline Shula demands???

    MIke, you watch what you say about my beloved Hurricanes.
    
    Mark.

 I like em too mark that was a tonugue and cheeker at JD....

 finally got Havana 3AM  AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!

 mike

    Hey Dolphin fans!!
    
    What's the story with Stoyonovich? Is he still unsigned? A friend has
    him on his fantasy team and there's not much word on him here in
    Denver.
    
    Thanks
    
    RC
    

    Wow, what a difference that 1st turnover made for the Dolphins.  
    
    KC was looking strong after the 1st scoring drive (1/2 dozen straight
    Okoya carries for a TD), but Miami marched it straight down the field
    themselves.  Marino was looking sharp. Ball on KC 1 yd line.  Then a
    fumble and a 100 yd fumble return for the Chiefs.  14-0, game over. 
    Miami just wilted after that.
    
    What the deal with KC?  I don't see much of their games, but the
    Chiefs' O-line have been dominating.  After seeing the games it is
    difficult to see how they lost 2 games already.  Maybe since their
    whole game is running the ball, a team with a good, big D-line stuffs
    their whole offense?
    
    The Raider-Chiefs game should be a war.  Like the Bear-Giants game was.
    
    Commander Scott

    Why is it that every time the Fins select a rb he turns out to be a 
    fingerless juggler. Smith should be traded with back to back serious
    fumbles. Any comments...............
    
    Hootsmon, Dolfan.

      I think the fish would be making a mistake trading him.  Smith seemed
    to help balance an offense that wasn't balanced since the Zonka(sp?)
    and Morris days.
    
      Sure he did lose this last game,  but how many games has the defense
    lost for them?
    
     Keep Smith!
    
    	Tim

    Keep Smith....  Dump Shula !!!  "The Game Has Passed Him By"
    					     ^
    					Dan Reeves
    
    
    		Big Game

   � Keep Smith....  Dump Shula !!!  "The Game Has Passed Him By"
   � 					     ^
   � 					Dan Reeves
    
 Yeah, sure it has.  That's why Reeves and the Broncos were watching Shula
 and the Dolphins in the playoffs lasted season.
 
 I read yesterday that Sammie Smith was so disconsolate about his goal line
 fumble that cost the game that he was a no-show at Monday's practice.  
 Shula reportedly understood and said he was welcome back as soon as
 possible with no repercussions.
 
 My kinda ballplayer.   I wish more players would take it to heart like
 that.    But hold on the ball, of course.
 
 Bob Hunt

    Bob -
    
    Don't forget - that's *TWICE* in the last two weeks he's fumbled near
    the goal line.  Agains KC, the ball was scooped up and returned 100
    yards for a KC score.
    
    Hope he gets his act together.  The floundering defending FFL champs
    need him...
    
    JD

    
>    Don't forget - that's *TWICE* in the last two weeks he's fumbled near
>    the goal line.  Agains KC, the ball was scooped up and returned 100
>    yards for a KC score.
     
    I happened to catch the end of this game and Bill Walsh reamed Smith
    but good for the fumble, too.  Dick Enberg would try to interject
    a comment to maybe assuage the situation a little, but Walsh would 
    cut him right back off, in his whiny, sing-song voice, with comments 
    like "No, Dick, no excuses-- he *blew* it, plain and simple-- 
    absolutely no excuses".  At first, I agreed, but after about five 
    minutes of this I began to feel sorry for guy, who probably had family 
    and friends at home listening to Walsh's feeding frenzy.  Did Walsh 
    have money on the game or something?  Is this why some of his own
    players were somewhat less than heartbroken when he decided to retire
    from coaching?
    
    glenn
    

Smith is reportedly so upset at how he is being treated by the fans after the 
fumble that he is thinking about requesting a trade after the season is over.

Direct quote..

 "I'll give my all for the remaining games left in this season but I might 
request a trade after the seaosn is over after the way the fans have acted over
this fumble...I gotta think of what's best for my family and my 4 year old son 
listening to what people have been saying"

Bill Walsh shouldn't talk unless he's been in the same situation....I don't 
recall him trying to many goal line plunges lately....

I hope Smith can shrug it off and I hope Shula gives him the ball on the next
goal line dive...

Metz

I cannot stand Bill Walsh as a color guy. He's terrible. He talks way too
much, over-analyzes every stoopid little play, and quite frequently is at
a loss for words, even though he has interjected. The man stinks. I thought
Bob Trumpy was bad..... 

About the Smith fumble, it's a stoopid call to begin with. What was it second
down or so? Why go over the top from 2 yard out? If there ever was a high-risk
fumble play, it's the "over-the-top" play. He got stuck, plain and simple.
Got a hat right on the ball. Not too many running backs can hold on to it in 
that situation. Why not rag on the offensive line that gave him zero push?
Walsh is all wet.



Steve

    The fish will be watching the Donks in the `offs this year.....
    Take that to the bank
    
    Big Game
    
    P.s.  It was a joke anyhow....  that quote was really about Joe Collier
    	  the Donks old defensive coach

reprinted wi/out permission:

              We Are the Suffering, And We Are the Relief
                                -- Dave Hyde
                                   Ft. Lauderdale Sun_Sentinel
                                   August 28, 1992
    
    God help us.  We can't stop hurting.  We can only cry.  It's Day 
    Five After and we're on these pages feeling like anything except 
    games.
    
    We're Dennis Erickson without a house.
    
    We're Dave Maggard living at work.
    
    We're Joe Zagacki trying to do the heroic thing, trying to help 
    migrant workers whose lives have been ruined, only to have his 
    life devastated, too, when the relief plane he organized crashes 
    during takeoff and the other two people aboard die.
    
    We're Leonard Hamilton, with a house full of hurricane, feeling 
    the biggest loss over a picture with his father and his sons, a 
    glimpse of three generations together, gone forever, with no 
    possibility of being replaced.
    
    We're Rony Seikaly evacuating west and we're 20 Dolphins 
    huddling in Joe Robbie Stadium and we're Orson Mobley, 6 feet 5 
    and 260 pounds of tight end, under a mattress with his mother, 
    on the night our world flips.
    
    We're the University of Miami football team, moving from Coral 
    Gables to Vero Beach, to get water and food and electricity but 
    no mental relief from the horrors left behind.
    
    We're selfish and selfless
    --------------------------
    Of course we're Mark Duper, too, complaining about a $2.3 
    million contract in the midst of this week, because selfishness 
    and stupidity and horrible timing rise to the top in times of 
    crisis just as all the good in people does, too.
    
    But mostly, we're Wayne Huizenga opening pockets.  We're Carl 
    Barger figuring how baseball can best help.  We're Tim Robbie 
    stepping up, trying to move the Dolphins opener to New England, 
    getting NFL charity money and opening Joe Robbie Stadium as a 
    food bank.
    
    We're John Offerdahl and his employees working all night to cook 
    6,000 bagels and then delivering them the next morning to help 
    the helpless.
    
    We're Neil Rogers forgetting the Cubs and WQAM forgetting sports 
    and all sportscasts dropped from newscasts and no one caring, 
    not one bit, nearly one million without the electricity to even 
    notice.
    
    We're Andre Dawson calling from Chicago.
    
    We're Joe Brodsky calling from Dallas.
    
    We're Jose Canseco calling from Oakland, hearing his house is 
    swimming, and telling everyone it looks like it was visited by 
    The Swamp Thing.  So we're trying to laugh.  We're trying.
    
    We're Tom Newberry reading the Los Angeles Times before a Rams 
    practice, looking at a picture of devastation in Coral Gables 
    and suddenly hit with the thought:  That's my boat.  That's my 
    house.
    
    We're concerned and confused
    ----------------------------
    We're Sam Jankovich putting a TV in his office to watch the 
    tragedy march in and we're Terry Nordeen, his secretary who 
    traveled north with him a couple years ago, finally getting a 
    call from her fiance on the Patriots' toll free line -- the pay 
    phone he used is so jammed full with quarters it can't accept 
    any more -- and finally hearing what she most feared.  The house 
    is gone.
    
    We're the University of Miami fans wondering, in all 
    seriousness, if a change of nicknames might be in order.
    
    We're Dolphins playing this exhibition game with our bodies but 
    not our hearts.
    
    We're Joseph Simmons and his 10-year-old son, Peter, throwing a 
    football over a huge, fallen oak tree in the front yard of their 
    Coconut Grove home, trying to create a break from the bad news 
    and giving up after 10 minutes.
    
    We're 22 people dead and 250,000 people homeless and four 
    million people wanting life to return to what it was a long, 
    long week ago and knowing we'll never get it back that way 
    again.
    
    We're South Florida.
    
    We're still hurting so.
    
    We can't help enough and we can't stop crying and we don't feel 
    like playing at all.
    
    God help us.

8^(


Okay, folks, I know that it's against the rules to solicit, but put them
aside for a second, and let me make a little public service announcement
as one human being to another:


	Look around your community.  If there are Hurricane Andrew
	Relief efforts, please take a little part in them.

	In Connecticut, they've been taking donations of canned goods,
	water and other basics, and one guy donated his entire trucking
	company fleet of 75 trucks to get them to Florida.   This is
	all being coordinated by the Red Cross.


	I'm not saying you have to volunteer, but how much can one jug
	of water cost?

	Times are tough, and there are people in need, but hey, we're all
	on the same team.

	If you can't get out to drop off a jug of water, a can of beans
	or a package of diapers or baby formula, do what I did:  call the
	Red Cross and ask where you can send a check.


Thanks for letting me stump a little....

'Saw

    OK, I'll let it slide 'Saw since DEC is soliciting too ;^)
    
+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+TM                                                   ----------- 
|d|i|g|i|t|a|l|                     U.S. News                         LIVE WIRE
+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+                                                     ----------- 
                     Hurricane Andrew relief information  
                     from Corporate Community Relations 

  The aftermath of Hurricane Andrew has left many in need of water, food, 
  shelter and medical attention. The American Red Cross is asking for cash 
  donations to attend to the immediate needs of those left devastated. 
  Those who wish to make donations should send them to:
  
      American Red Cross
      Hurricane Andrew Relief Fund
      99 Brookline Avenue 
      Boston, MA 02215

  Please indicate "Hurricane Andrew Relief" in the memo space on checks to the 
  Red Cross. Donations made through other qualified agencies that meet Digital's
  Matching Gift Program criteria, will also be matched dollar-for-dollar. 
  Matching Gift forms are available through Personnel offices. Updates on 
  additional relief funds will be provided as they are identified.

 To return to the previous menu, press  PF3 

    

Wow, Kathy.

That article put things into perspective.  Are you personally safe and intact?

=Bob=

       They take credit cards too!
                                  Denny

  Yeah, I thought that was a sobering article, too.

>> Are you personally safe and intact?

  Safe:  yes.  The main South Florida/Latin America Region offices are about
  40 miles north of Miami in Deerfield Beach.  We had a few trees blown over,
  but nothing drastic.  The small Miami office down by the airport lost power
  and was closed last week; a few of the Customer Services engineers had a lot
  of damage to their houses, too.  Tomorrow a caravan of employees from
  Deerfield are going down there to help clean up the office and help the
  families sort things out.

  Intact?  I'm not even coming *near* answering that question in this notes
  conference!

  ;^)  - Kath


  

	Does anyone know if Higgs was in Camp this year...I have not
	heard anything about him this preseason since the arrival of
	Humphries?

	Dave