Conference govt02::basingstoke

745.0. "'Kirby Rides Again' -- in Basingstoke." by NEWOA::COURTNEY_M (Excuses not acceptable-Money is.) Tue Apr 12 1994 11:59

    The following has been posted in the Reading conference, 
    RDGENG::READING note 1408, discussing Kirby Sales techniques.
    It is posted here, as a warning to Basingstoke Residents.
    
    				************
    
    We had a young lad come round the Brighton Hill estate in Basingstoke,
    offering green tickets looking like this:
    --------------------------------------------------------------------------
    			   "Your Free Entry into our"
    			� 1, 0 0 0    C A S H    D R A W  
    		  No further obligation - No puchase necessary	

    	In addition to the Main Draw, cards will also be selected daily and
    the holder invited to receive a Gift for watching, along with your spouse
       a demonstration of our complete Homecare System "GENERATION 4" to 
       be carried out at a time suitable for both you and your spouse in
                   the comfort and convenience of your own home.

    				Sponsored By
    UK Division V.I.P. Club, M.I'Donovan, Gogshall Grange, Hall Lane,
        Antrobus, Northwich Cheshire. CW9 6BS. Tel:(0606)891888

    J.D. Enterprises  Acorn House 43 Longshott Lane Bracknell RG12 1RL
    				Tel: (0344) 714096 
    --------------------------------------------------------------------------
    The idea is you place this ticket by your phone, if you get a call from
    them, then you may have won a 'prize'. I asked the lad what he was 
    selling and he was evasive, describing the product as 'Homecare Systems'.
    Still, I thought, 'In for a penny, in for a pound'...

    A week or two later, one evening, we got a call from a lady. We had
    'won' either a free carpet shampoo, or a free Sofa clean.

    We have just moved in our house, and had new carpets in all but two 
    bedrooms, as one of the old carpets needed a clean, we took them up on 
    the offer. It was only at the when the Salesman arrived did we
    discover that he was selling - a Kirby! 

    The Kirby Salesman insisted in doing the demo first in front of both
    of us, before doing the free Carpet Shampoo. He did the usual 
    demo's sucking through filter paper, and showing how much dust was left. 
    Unfortunately, we have just moved in, had brand new carpets
    throughout most of the house, and have a brand new vacuum cleaner.
    It was pointless him demo'ing the machine on our sofa, as we have a 
    new Sofa arriving this week. However, I did get the opportunity to use
    his machine to clean the mattress on our bed. 

    My gambit with the man was yeah, nice engineering, iffy styling, costs 
    way too much and anyway, we've just bought a new Vac, the carpets are new 
    and don't need cleaning, and we can't afford it anyway. If we did buy it 
    would be for cash as their HP rate is 38.6%. I told the Salesman, A loan 
    from my bank for �1175 would be at 16%-17%, if I could afford the payments!

    He then did the phone routine with the boss, who offered me the demo
    machine for �695 instead of �1175. I said no way, we didn't have the
    cash. He offered it as weekly payments of �29, then �15, but I was not
    interested in their finance, as the interest rate was incredible. 
    I'm not going to buy a machine from a guy who halves it's price so easily!

    Apparently, while I was on the phone, the Salesman started accusing my
    wife of keeping a dirty house! Anyway he left without a sale, and
    without getting too nasty, as we could demonstrate that we didn't have
    the cash anyway, what with the other moving-in costs.

    Well, we survived - I'll add that one to my other achievement of
    permamnently getting off the Reader's Digest mailing list. 

    I would warn other Basingstoke residents that If you want to waste a 
    couple of hours - or more, and be subjected to a load of unsubstantiated
    twaddle from a Kirby Salesman, then by all means let 'em come. 

    My wife remembers an Kirby salesman she knew who got 'done over' by  
    customers on a couple of occasions because he got too pushy.

    I would note that the 'Free Carpet Shampoo' was done terribly - the guy
    didn't get it very clean, and left the job half done - we had to hoover
    it again with our own vacuum cleaner to finish it off. 

    We intend to ring them and complain. 
    I guess it's bye-bye to our 'entry' in the �1000 draw.
    As an aside - does anyone know what the 'crack' is if you win the �1000? 

    I would also note that out Phillips Turbo at �64.99 makes our new
    carpet come up better looking than the Kirby - maybe its the twist pile? 

    Rear-Guards,
    Mark. 
    

Hey, sounds like the kind of stress relief I could do with. 

A complete stranger to throw lots of abuse at and not feel bad 
about it :-)

We had a similar experience with a double glazing company a while back.

This guy arrived at my house and parked next to my car.  Elise arrived
a while later, during the "pre-sales"...

DG>> What sort of car do you drive Mr. Corne?
ME>> An Audi (wonders - why did he ask - he parked next to it!)
DG>> And why did you choose an Audi?
ME>> Quality, performance, etc
DG>> Why didn't you choose a Lada?
ME>> (some suitable reply)
DG>> (long pitch about how his products had quality, performance etc)
Elise>> What would you have said if I told you _I_ have a Lada?
DG>> Embarased silence.............

He didn't get the sale, and the Golf never looked like a Lada :-)

    One of the best tactics to adopt when talking to these people is not
    give them anything to use against you. If you say you don't know why
    you bought an Audi then they can't use that as a reason why you should
    buy their Widget. When they ask why you don't want a Widget, don't give
    a reason 'cos they will have a counter for any response, but if you say
    "I just don't want one" they have nothing to get hold of. I can
    remember as a kid having really frustrating time with my mum, when she
    wouldn't let me have something:
     
    "Why not"
    "Because I dont want you to have it"
    "Why not"
    "I just don't"
    
    So I can't tell here how cheap it is really, even thought it costs 3
    years pocket money; I can't tell here how it's good for my education,
    even though it's a toy shoulder launcehd anti-tank missile;
    I can't tell her how the other kids will have one and I will be
    psychologically damaged by not having one.
    
    Another ploy they use is to get you to start saying Yes to silly
    answers, so when it comes to the crunch you are easier to catch.
    Last year I got a call from a girl, who I later found out was a Kirby
    sales rep.
    
    Girl: "Hello Mr Pattison, I'm pleased to tell you that you've won a weekend
           for 2 in our prize draw."
    Me:    "Really?"
    Girl:  "Yes Mr. Pattison, are you pleased about that?"
    Me:    "No."
    Girl(sounding a bit flustered)  "Why not?"
    Me:    "'Cos it's a con, You will send me to some grotty hotel where 
             I will have to buy all my meals in the hotel hotel and it will 
             end up costing me a packet. If I want to go away for a weekend 
             I will pay myself and go somewhere decent. And now you are
             going to try to sell me something, and whatever it is I don't 
             want one!"
    Girl:    oh.
    Me:      Puts phone down.
    
    

An friend of a friend of mine used to do telephone sales for double glazing.

I have only met him a few times but he seems human.

I have a distant relative who married a Dentist he seemed Human as well.

It just goes to show