Conference 7.286::digital

5260.0. "And now for something completely different..." by 42510::SLOAN (Just Another Manic Monday) Fri Apr 25 1997 07:02

The heaviest element known to science was recently discovered by Boeing
physicists.  The element, tentatively named Administratium, has no
protons or electrons and thus has an atomic number of 0.  However, it
does have 1 neutron, 125 assistant neutrons, 75 vice neutrons and 111 
assistant vice neutrons.  This gives it an atomic mass of 312.  These 312
particles are held together by a force that involves the continuous
exchange of meson-like particles called morons.

Since it has no electrons, Administratium is inert.  However, it can be
detected chemically as it impedes every reaction it comes in contact with. 
According to the discovers, a minute amount af Administratium caused one
reaction to take four days to complete when it would have normally occurred
in less than one second.  Administratium has a normal half-life of
approximately three years, at which time it does not actually decay but
instead undergoes a reorganisation in which assistant neutrons, vice
neutrons and assistant vice neutrons exchange places.  Some studies have
shown that the atomic mass actually increases after each reorganisation.

Research at other laboratories indicates that Administratium is known to be
toxic at any level of concentration and can easily destroy any productive
reaction where it is allowed to accumulate.  Attempts are being made to
determine how Administratium can be controlled to prevent irreversible
damage, but results to date are not promising.


Extracted from 'Physics World'.


/Shaun

    See 1108.81, 3017.5 (not to mention all the other conferences where
    this can be found...).