Conference 7.286::digital

    is it just the fact that I've had a tough week ?
    
    I find .0 quite tasteless and offensive, the lame excuse of April 1st
    postmark notwithstanding.
    
    Do us a favour and delete it yourself before someone else complains
    officially.
    
    /Chris/

    Re .-1
    
    > is it just the fact that I've had a tough week ?
    
    One would hope so!!!

    If its any consolation... I saw this first in comp.sys.dec.
    I also thought it was funny!
    
    Fred

    I agree with .1,  humor or not this company does'nt need this kind of
    activity in these notes file.  

	I found it quite humorous. Especially the part where Bob didn't realize
we had a plant in NH. :-)

    i also found it amusing, and no, i did not write it as a couple of
    people i have worked with thought (they know my writing style). It
    was also e-mailed to me from a friend and ex-digit who asked, "hey
    ray, up to your old tricks i see, very funny piece."
    
    On the flip side, one could also say it is in poor taste, in light
    of the recent mass suicide in San Diego.
    
    Well, back to quarter end closing support, already in
    progress.....ray

    
    	Lighten up, people, it's only a joke.
    
    	The world will no doubt continue to turn whether or not the note
    	exists in this conference.
    

    
    Tasteless, yes, funny, hell yes!
    
    /art

	Being a Spitbrook resident for the past 8 years, I found
	it funny and morbidly to the point. 

						mike

    
    Must control fist of death...
    
    ;-)

    It's also shorter than the version I originally saw.

    If you are offended, then skip over it, I liked it, but that is my
    opinion only.  
    
    If you are the "Notes Gestapo" then remove it!  If not ignore it.
    
    Dave

Unfortunately, the part about Palmer having no clue what we do here rings
only too true...

				Steve

    Why, oh why do people keep stripping the headers off messages?
    The person who wrote that piece DESERVES the credit for it --
    both the good credit and the bad credit.  Enough said?
    
    	Larry Seiler

    The author is fairly well known around ZKO for his entertaining
    mailwatch messages, if that helps any.

    That does, indeed, answer the question rather clearly.  Someone who
    would laugh in the face of those who think it's in poor taste and
    vow to provide something even worse the next time.  Bravo!

RE: .15

	And I just saw him the cafe.. Damn.. I would have busted his
	chops and give him an "Attaboy!"

						mike

    okay, so it's just tasteless to those OUTSIDE of ZKO?  Hmmmn...
    
    Mark Schafer
    SPE MRO

    RE: .15
    
    Plus, this guy has a long list of patents to his credential plus bunch
    of pictures with all the Digital VP's.
    
    - Vikas

DEC Cult - What's next??

From           [email protected]
Organization   Deja News Usenet Posting Service
Date           Fri, 28 Mar 1997 14:21:22 -0600
Newsgroups     comp.sys.dec
Message-ID     <[email protected]>

    NASHUA, N.H. (AP) -- Acting on an anonymous tip, authorities today
responded immediately and converged on Digital Equipment Corporation's
"Spitbrook Road" site, only to make the gruesome discovery of yet another
mass suicide of computer programmers, this time on an even grander scale.
"This is horrible - absolutely mind-boggling," said one official at the 
scene.  Initial estimates are that several hundred computer programmers 
are feared dead.

    With two mass suicides of computer programmers just hours apart,
officials searched for a pattern. Connections to the mass suicide in San 
Diego county have not been ruled out. The FBI has already begun background
investigations of the individuals to determine any religious cult 
affiliations and is looking for evidence of celibacy as well as other 
signs. Initial autopsies revealed that none of these individuals had had 
sex for many years!

    When asked to describe the scene they uncovered when first entering
the Spitbrook Road facility, a spokesman described it as surreal. Like 
the situation in San Diego, there were bodies strewn everywhere. The
individuals were all quite odd-looking. Many had ponytails and earrings, 
and the genders weren't immediately obvious. Most were dressed very 
casually, wearing T-shirts, ripped bluejeans, and even sandals with socks
underneath. Some were displaying pink and purple triangles on their 
clothing, but it's not yet known if this is related to the black, 
triangular masks worn by the victims in San Diego.  Two individuals 
weighing at least 400-500 pounds each were even found in the freight 
elevator. Very odd.

    There were noticable differences to the San Diego scene. Although the
cause of death here in Nashua is still unknown, the victims apparently had
enough time to scribble some last words down on paper before they died,
sort of makeshift suicide notes. These notes were found alongside a number
of the bodies. These notes should provide strong clues as to what caused 
such a large group of people to take their own lives. Officials have 
granted permission to print the contents of a few such notes:

o "Year 2000 - Should have known"

o "Tired of being celibate - Need a woman bad"

o "My code's so full of bugs - Should have done this long ago"

o "Whatever it takes!"

o "Always remember - OpenVMS for ultra-high availability"

    Officials believe these computer programmers may have had MANY
reasons to take their own lives. It only took a small catalyst to push 
them all over the edge. Whereas postal workers react to stress by lashing 
out and gunning down innocent bystanders, computer programmers tend to 
be more introverted, blaming themselves for all the world's woes. It's 
a struggle for many of them, each day, to wake up, look in the mirror, 
and not kill themselves.

    When reached for comment, Bob Palmer, CEO and President of Digital
Equipment Corporation, was initially puzzled, not realizing there was
a facility in Nashua. He quickly regained his composure, stating, "This
is consistent with our corporate 1-3-9 strategy and shows our commitment
to the customer and steadfast determination to achieve excellence in all 
that we do.  These software people gave their lives for the company and 
our customers. I'm not sure what they were doing here in, er, Nashua, 
but I'm sure it was important work." When asked how the loss of so many 
bright software people would affect the company, he replied, "Although 
the company has shown year to year growth in margins and revenue, our 
expense in doing business has remained too high and uncompetitive, 
requiring continued belt-tightening and the occasional elimination of 
jobs. I certainly wouldn't want to encourage other software people at 
Digital to take their own lives (wink!), but I do appreciate the dedication 
of those who did to improve our bottom line this quarter. It shows our 
employees are best-in-class and why they're our most valuable resource."
Reflecting further, Bob added, "This should have no effect on our
strategic alliance with Microsoft Corporation. Although some of our
people are in direct contact with individuals at Microsoft, I don't see 
any cause for concern. I'll be in touch with Mr. Gates immediately to 
ensure that his people are safe."

    Local software business in New Hampshire and Massachusetts do not
seem to share Bob's optimism and positive outlook on the situation. One
analyst said, "The local software companies, and there are a lot of them,
depend on the steady stream of solid engineering talent leaving Digital. 
I don't know what they're going to do without this supply."

    At noontime on a weekday, the local pizza, Chinese, Thai, Indian,
and Japanese restaurants are all practically empty. "I just don't know
what we're going to do now," said one local merchant. "No one else would
ever eat this stuff."

    But apparently it's not all gloom and doom in the New England area.  
A local 13-year-old boy seemed quite happy about the situation. "My
response time over the internet is really fast now! I usually can't even 
get into the Pamela Anderson picture sites, but now I can download all 
the pictures I want!"

    Apparently, some good can be found from all this afterall. However,
the affects on Digital, the local economy, and the local exotic food
business is just starting to be felt. And until we better understand 
what's causing this bizarre phenomenon, could it spread to other 
software companies?  What if all computer programmers suddenly disappeared 
from the face of the earth?  What then?

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