Conference 7.286::digital

    Maybe someone decided you needed an envelope?

|    Maybe someone decided you needed an envelope?

No, I think they want a contribution. The size of the envelope
gives a ballpark figure. Don't overstuff it though.

As you probably know, the contents of envelopes are the most expensive part. To
cut costs, the Company may have decided to eliminate this part of mailings. I
think this can only help the bottom line, and will save time for the
recipients, thus boosting their productivity. If others are also receiving
empty envelopes, this would tend to confirm my theory.

    
    	Hmmm, so if we save $1 for every empty envelope that we send, why
    	don't we send an empty envelope to every employee every day?
    
    	We'd make a fortune within the first couple months alone.
    

re .-1,2,3...

Great responses.  I can hardly type this for laughing.

I logged on to see if there were as many recent rumours in the 
notesfile as there are in the U.K. about BP having resigned and 
COMAPQ having bought part of Digital.

Couldn't find any rumours but you sure brightened up my day.

Randall

    Completely unrelated, but it made me smile...
    
    Computing in the UK 20/3/97, Backpage
    
    'Alpha chips with everything.
    
    This is the abridged version of Digital (sic) chief executive Bob
    Palmer's keynote speech to the Internet World conference in California
    last week:
    "The Internet, it's here, it works. Of course it works best if you use
    64-bit computing which you can only get using Alpha. Alpha chips, Alpha
    technology, Alpha Romeo, Alpha Centuri, Alpha sixpence, Alpha Alpha.
    The Internet has made the world safe for democracy. Look at what
    happened in the Serbian elections... Alpha and good night."'
    
    Andrew
          

Well it's anyone or both of these items ....

  1. Your METpay Refund check or

  2. Your paycheck .......

    	Maybe we've figured out a way to use Exchange for interroffice
    mail?

another cost saving measure....



these empty envelopes were a special purchase

to mail "no profit" sharing checks from last fiscal year

some of these envelopes got mailed by mistake

    
    Its a list of GOOD things Bill Gates has done and will do for Digital !

    Did you get your DIGITAL Benefits Up-date...could this be it
    by any chance???

Re the recent "three envelopes" joke: maybe this is one of them.

PJDM

                        DIGITAL Internal Use Only

IT Security Operations information sheet
Issue #5
1. April 1997

Continuing our series of monthly information sheets, in this issue we 
cover:
 
*  Social Engineering Awareness - dealing with empty envelopes

It has come to our attention that a number of DIGITAL employees have been
receiving empty envelopes though the internal post. We wish to advise on how to
deal with this situation. A number of people have unfortunately adopted a
"throw away" strategy in response to this nuisance, as they mistakenly assume
that someone has simply forgotten to put the planned enclosure into the
envelope. This is incorrect.

IF YOU SHOULD RECEIVE AN EMPTY ENVELOPE ON NO ACCOUNT THROW IT INTO THE TRASH
CAN OR RECYCLING BIN. 

The correct procedure is to file the envelope carefully for future reference in
your desk file in a folder clearly labelled ENVELOPES. Standard labels will be
issued  in the near future for this file.

It is most important to remain calm during this time. These envelopes are in
fact a sophisticated psychological 'pseudovirus' designed to create an
atmosphere of uncertainty on the part of the recipient. In some instances this
has lead to recipients clearing their desks, searching for lost documents etc,
and a general loss of efficiency has been noted.  
                      
If, after reading this Information sheet, you require further 
information, explanations or assistance concerning information, computer 
or IT security, then please do not hesitate to contact your local IT 
security representative

    I got one too. It wasn't empty actually. It contained the top-level plan for
    restoring our stock price to $75 USD by the end of the fiscal year.
    Bruce

    re .14
    
    Many ways to interpret that response, Bruce. 
    
    Care to enlighten us as to YOUR intended meaning???
    
    
    Randy
    

    
    .15
    
    methinks your humor meter needs recalibrating.

    Hi Randy,
    Perhaps in dealing with a matter such as top level plans for getting
    our stock price back up there I should have been more careful, and put
    a smiley face at the end. I know that whenever my wife and I chat about
    this at home, given all the college tuition bills and things that we
    were sort of counting on our stock to help pay, it know it would help to 
    hold something up in front of my real face, like a big shield covered with a
    smiley face, accompanied by a lot of side chit-chat about how much worse
    off some other folks are and business cycles and oh sure, the top
    management has great plans so we should be back on course very soon and so
    forth. It would no doubt help if the shield would be designed to take a hit
    from,say, a can of stewed tomatoes or anything else that might get
    thrown at me.
    Bruce ;^)