Conference 7.286::digital

    hmmm... for me it's lots of excerise (cycling, karate etc..) and 
    lots of british style ale....and of course occasional therapy when
    the worries mount...:(

    Glad you put this in. 
    
    Life is a challenge. I haven't been with  digital as long as you but I
    have had to transfer to another state. I started workingfor dec in
    Augusta, ME. My home state I was born and raised in. That plant got
    sold. I had just gotten married  after having beinga single dad with 3
    kids, bought a new place and was financially strapped. The
    company   buying  the  place was talking about layoffs and paycutts.
    
    I had an opportunity to pack it all in to work down in Hudson, MA. So I
    made the BIG move. a year ago. Working a compressed work week and the
    over night hours took a toll on my relationship with my wife. Found out
    she was having an affair with an old beau from maine. I am in the
    middle of a divorce, Single parenting 4 kids . I transfered to the day
    shift version of the Compressed WW. I found serenity using some of the
    tools made available to us employees here at Digital called EAP
    (employee assistance program) and the work-life connections.
    
    Since all this, my life is complex but I get by. I found out whatI can
    do and admitt when I can't. I reach out for help where necessary and
    have a renewed faith in humanity finding out that thewre are some
    people out there willing to lend an ear, helping hand or whatever.. .
    even in the digital community despite the sea of change.
    
    Thats' a little of my experience, strength and hope... I hope its  a
    start for you.
    
    George
    

          Re: .0
    
       Ditto my marriage of 13 years collapsed. I work a 2nd job to pay CS
    and maintain a sustinence standard of living. The stress on the job
    front although lessened since moving to workstations from the Sable
    group is ever present. Lots of prayers and good friends is what keeps
    me from losing it. I was too bold on prozac so I prefer to walk the
    straight and narrow knowing that some day my life will get better. 
    Always with the full knowlege that I'm the only one that can and will
    eventually make it better. Hang in there and don't give up. 
    
         I do run at lunchtime to break up my day which is my therapy.
    
    
    bob 

    I get away to our camp in northern New Hampshire as often as possible -
    far from technology, no phones or electricity - _real_ life;
    
    I leave the job in the office;
    
    I remind myself that my job is not my life, and there is Life After
    DEC.
    
    And take one day at a time job-wise - I could be tapped anytime, I
    could find a better opportunity anytime...  
    
    (re .1   Hi Ray!) 
    

    I know it is not the responsibility of a corporation to provide a
    social conscience, it is their duty to make a profit. However, aren't
    we all human beings with the same needs, wants and desires? Do they
    realize that if they TFSO 80,000 people as they have, if you average
    four people per family, you have wreaked havoc on over a quarter of
    a million people! Half of those are children. This doesn't even take
    into consideration a further trickle-down effect to the rest of these
    families. Now, add the fears of the 60,000 currently employed,
    inability at times to get loans, falling back against inflation due to
    a lack of income increases, and just total over-stress and you have
    "negatively affected" another 240,000 people. And you know, a company's
    stock goes up if you announce layoffs (usually)! Isn't there something
    wrong with that? Shouldn't a company's charter have both a profit and
    social responsibility as part of the human race? The two do go hand-in-
    hand; all you have to do is reallocate resources, diversify and show
    imagination. It's easy to lay off people, it takes real management to
    juggle both your profit and social responsibilities.
    
    
    

    re .3, .5
    
    Get with agenda. You're worth 88 cents, dehydrated. When you reach,
    oh, 58, we'll take you out and compost you. In the meantime, the
    landlords, the courts, the state officials, and any special interest
    group that can bully on your race, creed, gender, or finances, will find a
    way to make you personally liable for everything that happens
    around you. Or to them.
    
    The only consolation is that neither feudalism nor calvinism lasted
    forever.
    
    bk

    re .5 a good note, but I would disagree with this:
    
    >> I know it is not the responsibility of a corporation to provide a
        social conscience, it is their duty to make a profit.
    
    Is there nothing in the US Constitution which recognises that the right
    to private property brings with it the obligation to use that property
    in a socially responsible way ?
    
    As for stress and the social havoc described above: the 35 hour week
    and 6 weeks holidays a year work wonders, as do legal and contractual
    protection against redundancy for older employees and those (eg single
    parents) who need extra protection, but that is the pinko  union
    lover in me breaking out again.  
    
    Also the quality of management is important. The facility where I work at
    the moment is very well managed with a lively sports and social life,
    and an on-site preventive health care programme. 
    
    Kevin

    I have made it thru the TFSOs so far but have seen my old group sold
    to Oracle, and have lost alot of friends thru the years thru relo/
    TFSOs.   It's a stresser but it beats sleeping under a bridge.  I try
    to not get down on the job and stay positive - one day at a time...  
    
    How do I cope?    Upcoming 5 day backpacking trip in Rocky Mountain
    National Park should help.  Call me crazied but I get off of lugging
    a 40 pound pack up 14,000 foot mountains, sleeping with the bears and
    hanging off vertical granite...
    
    Everyone has hobbies, etc...   you know the other part of our lives...
    Try enjoying life more and don't take work home so much. 
    
    Sometimes it seems we live to work, although life is sometimes work - 
    try working to live more...    (please don't quote me...) 

    .0 - Sue - what do you like to do in your spare time?

        It's work, but...

    Identify and pursue achievable personal & professional (written) goals,
    Maximize customer contacts (that's where market reality exists),
    Help people (thus feeling good about yourself),
    Maintain a PMA (positive mental attitude) - things pass (good &
    otherwise),
    *Honestly* assess how to do things better (personal growth is its own
    reward),
    Seek out positive relationships (work, family, friends),
    Pursue outside interests,
    Stay healthy, ...

Well, that's part of the problem. Because I now work two jobs to make ends meet
(and believe me, they just barely meet), I have little spare time. Now my future
commute will eat into what little spare time I have. 

There are many activities I enjoy, but lately, since working two jobs, sleeping
tends to be the activity I enjoy most. 8^)

Thanks to all who have replied so far both here and off-line. So far, I've heard
the following works for most folks (not in any particular order):

exercise (at home, work, and lunchtimes)
just hang in there
ignore rumors 
save money like crazy
relaxation
massage
faith
don't worry
cats
updated resumes
job searching
notesfile
And everything listed in the above replies.

It's really terrific to know that despite all that we've been through, and
continue to go through that employees still care for one another. There's still
a heart in the core of this company...it's people.

Anymore suggestions/ideas out there?

Sue 

(Heartfelt thanks for all who have shared..) 

    
    
    Sue,
    
    .8 makes a very valid point: work to live or live to work.
    
    Personally for the last 3 or so years, I have simplified my
    life, meaning... 
    a/ I've reduced my debts (almost debt-free now)
    b/ Reduced consumption and acquisitions; I find that I really do
       not NEED a lot of stuff (clothes, fancy car, stereo systems etc)
    I mean I do live simply, that's all. That's my way of pre-emptive 
    coping economically since I've long believe that ONLY I will take 
    care of me (believe me, I still love dining and wining, for example,
    but I now choose my poison more carefully, so to speak). 
    
    I appreciate what the other noters said about having hobbies or 
    diversions, but this may be the time for you to really reflect what
    you need. Sure having hobbies does help, but diversions are just that; 
    you still come home to deal with the same old problems.
    
    It might be worthwhile for you to even rethink what all this work
    really means; what does it buy you?? It is worth it? What is it you're 
    trading off? Maybe it's time to consider leaving the company, change 
    the venue, whatever. There are other economically thriving places to 
    live that will cost less than NH. Maybe have a heart-to-heart talk with 
    a trusted friend or a professional counselor.
    
    I fully empathize with you, believe me. Good luck.
    
    

    One way to cope is to leave digital.  Given the environment that the
    Company places us all in, the prospect of leaving would solve the
    uncertainty of whether or not any of us have a future here.

    a couple of comments - 
    
    First, to Sue in .0 and later - If you have to work two jobs to make
    ends meet, with one of them being Digital, I would STRONGLY advise
    looking for a new job.  I came in from the outside a year ago, so I
    haven't been through the TFSO's here (but have been layed off twice in
    a 10 year career).  But I do know that they paid me as much as they
    could come up with, and I'm still underpaid by industry standards.  I
    get calls from recruiters still, and could make 20K more permenant or
    double as a consultant.  So far, Digital wseems to be just STARTING To
    be aware of this.  So anyway, if you can't make ends meet with TWO
    jobs, go out and find one that will do the trick.
    
    In response to note .5's comments about stock going up with layoffs,
    our economy is in worse shape then that.  Each time Unemployment goes
    down, the entire market drops!  This is counterintuitive to mmy
    simplistic understanding of economics (more people employed = more
    people with money = more people who spend money = more sales for
    companies = increased company value = stock price = increase :== growth
    for the economy).
    
    Social responsibility and ethics are marketing terms these days.  Most
    companies consider social responsibility to be not getting caught
    polluting and deeply resent what it costs to get rid of even one of us,
    never looking at what it costs us anymore.
    
    My personal philosophy has alweays been that no matter HOW happy I am
    with a company or a particular position, I always keep my eyes open and
    my contacts with headhunters active - I've learned the hard way that
    you never know when you're going to need them.  (Don't get me wrong -
    I'm not leaving Digital until they push me out the door.  I love my
    job, working from home, and make enough to pay my bills and live
    comfortably, if not richly.  All this means I have time to pursue
    things like my interest in Medieval History and Fencing.  But just
    because my boss can trust me not to leave doesn't mean that I can trust
    Bob to not push me out the door as a random nameless face.  Those
    contacts, even if you do nothing with them now, can save your butt when
    the time comes.)
    
    One last thing Sue - if this move is THAT disruptive to your life,
    that's yet another reason to look for something else - You should not
    sacrifice your personal happiness, health or hopes for a company
    anymore, because you'd better believe that the company will not pause
    about sacrificing you without consideration.  This goes for almost ANY
    company, Digital included.  Keep that in mind if you look outside as
    well.  
    
    Becki (hoping not to go through a 3rd layoff, but definately better
    prepared this time!)

    
    Exercise !!!! You must .. no excuses and the first thing you
    should do !  5:30am like myself if you have to.
    

    Sue:
    
    	As my wife keeps telling me:
    
    "No one on their deathbed ever wished that he'd spent more time with
    his company..."
    
    Good Luck.
    bill

    .17
    
    Ayup.  Just came back from my mother-in-law's funeral in Mexico.  There
    is something about a death in your family that sets your priorities
    straight.  I came back refreshed knowing that the most important
    accomplishments in my life will be the lives I touch in a positive way. 
    All else will be poopycock!  There is something else that keeps me
    positive and that is my faith and belief system.
    
    I put importance on life in the following way:
    
    1. Spiritual
    2. Emotional [Family relationships, friends]
    3. Physical [Exercise, Job]
    
    This combination has never failed me.
    
    Nancy
    
    

Before I joined DEC (IN 1986), I worked in the oil industry. They wanted 
your body 24 hours/day. Cost me my marriage.

Recently DEC seems to want the same. Can I work weekends ? Can I, Can I etc 
etc etc.

Well, JUST SAY NO. WHat can they do ? Fire you ? Nope. Its not in the 
contract. Make you redundant ? There's plenty of other jobs around ?

I cope by realising that I work to LIVE, not live to work.

So, I do the jobs that I have to and the jobs that I WANT to - and then I 
go off and play golf........

So, remember that life should be fun - if it isn't, change your life !

Alan

As with others in here, I have an active hobby that also helps save money.  I 
play with/restore cars so we get to drive older cars, but they are reliable 
and a lot cheaper to insure and no payments.  I also have a few antiques cars 
(70+ years old) I'm working on for long term projects.

We've kept our debt down, only have the house loan and try to be frugal since 
my wife stays home with our two kids.

As for the stress at work, a few years ago I started looking for an alternate 
career path if I got tapped.  I needed something stable, non-stressful and not 
highly competitive, yet a good professional job.  I found one, but I haven't 
pursued it yet.  Just realizing the opportunity is there keeps me from 
worrying too much.

Oh yeah, the profession I would switch to?  Mortician.....

Dave

    .20
    
    I guess its good that somebody wants that job.

    Dunno, Nancy.  'Sounds like a dead-end job to me.

    People are just dying to get into that field.
    
    :-0

	My cousins are morticians..  Own 2 or 3 parlors in the
	Kennebunk ME area..

	People are just dying to meet them  :-)

	Charlie

Usually, though, a mortician is the last person you want to visit.

    How do I cope?  Let's see, after nearly 4 years of relative safety in a
    job that was too uncommon for anyone to notice during TFSO's, half my
    group was devastated during the last (2) go-'rounds.  My job, and all
    the others like, are regionally focussed and one region in the US is
    now completely unrepresented, so they call me or one of my two
    remaining counterparts in the country when they have a problem or
    question.  The company changed the pricing structure for the product I
    sell and support so that it is now pretty much unmarketable.  I live in
    daily fear that my region will decide I am no longer necessary.  In
    addition to all this, I am a wife, mother of two, and daughter of one
    elder parent (living with me).  We moved to a new state last year,
    courtesy of my husband's job, and I telecommute now so I have made no
    friends.  Oh, and I think I am about to have my 9th manager change in
    4 years.  I just get used to them and they to me and it all changes! 
    Thankfully, my marriage is still okay and I haven't been TFSO'd yet,
    but I always take that as a "there but for the grace of G*d go I".
    
    Sigh!  How do I cope?  I spend a lot of time with my kids, because they
    remind me that (as so many others have said) I work to live, not the
    other way around.  I keep a current resume at all times (always have,
    since I started working after college).  I read the ads every Sunday,
    in case my dream job is in there.  I haven't seen it yet, but I will
    one of these days.  I read when I have time.  I note when I have a
    chance, and I relax like crazy when I get the rare slow business day.  
    
    And sometimes I vent to friends - one who works here and one who
    doesn't.  That helps, too.  It isn't perfect, but I don't lay awake
    nights worrying anymore, either.
    
    M.
    

    You gotta' have balance.  And balance is what allows you to put your
    head down on your pillow at night and actually sleep versus lay there
    and let your thoughts spin around until 3:00am.  So, having a balanced
    life is very important.  This includes your work, your spirital and
    emotional needs, your physical needs (exercise, good nutrition, 8 hours
    in the sack, love, etc..) and your friendships outside of your job.
    
    For me, it's putting in a good day at the office, helping my customer
    buy our solutions, and then heading home, getting some exercise and
    maybe taking the Harley out for a cruise.  It's reading, working around
    the house, taking care of my pet (he needs me to help him with all his
    needs) and planning for the future.  It's enjoying a sunset with a cold
    ale in my hand once in awhile, flipping a burger on the grill, shooting
    the breeze with my neighbor over the fence and having a life that isn't
    spelled by d|i|g|i|t|a|l|.  
    
    And it's about CHANGE and ADAPTATION.  Learning new things, taking a
    class on anything that interests you, who knows what you will learn and
    even better the new contacts you will make.  Pick a something you
    really like to do and explore within your community how to learn more
    about it, there's all kinds of activities in your community, and there
    are more opportunities to do volunteer work than you can shake a stick
    at.
    
    Sue, you gotta' look at simplifying your life.  There are some great
    publications out there on that, check the local Library.  For starters
    Inc. magazine this week has an article on the areas to simplify your
    life.  Not surprisingly, a lot of them have to do with money.  Just
    managing it and not worrying about making ends meet.  Good stuff.
    
    Also, a great book is Gail Sheehay's "The New Passages"  It's an
    interesting review on how we as human beings change and adapt as we get
    older and the things we are facing along lifes little journey here.  A
    definite good read.
    
    Take care of yourself, you are the only one who can.
    
    Mav 

    All these stories of lost dreams, lost marriages, lost dogs, and
    on and on.
    
    Remember where you are in life is a direct result of choices that 
    YOU make.  You made the choices no one else did.
    
    "Denial" is more than a river in Egypt.

    -1:clever rascal... HUBRIS alert! 

 <4744.28>



>    All these stories of lost dreams, lost marriages, lost dogs, and
>    on and on.

>    Remember where you are in life is a direct result of choices that 
>    YOU make.  You made the choices no one else did.
    
>    "Denial" is more than a river in Egypt.


Wow....

I'd like to hear more of your opinion ( I think 8^{). I'm curious, without
knowing the details behind previous notes, how you can make the above statement.
It seems a bit cut and dry to me. 

It reminds me a little bit of a conversation I had with a tax return preparer. I
was describing a (true) story of formers neighbors of mine. Both the husband and
wife were laid off from their jobs (no, not Digital), their home was foreclosed.
The bank was able to sell their property in an amount to clear their mortgage.
The thing that blew my mind was the fact that they owed the IRS taxes for the
amount their person balance sheet was improved by (liquidation of their
mortgage). 

Now I DON'T want to get into a discussion about how good or bad the IRS is, I
bring up this point because when I mentioned this to the tax preparer, and
stated, 'Gee it must be tough when you (a tax preparer) have to tell someone who
is down and out that they have to pay taxes on something they lost.' His
response was basically, not at all. They should have made plans for this. I was
speechless!

Is this basically what your note suggests? That we are all in control of our own
destiny, no matter what the circumstances?

I don't mean to sound negative, I'm just curious to hear more detail of your
thoughts/theory if you care to share.  I'm having difficulty understanding your
concept. Before I (as the CW tune goes) call myself "Cleopatra, the Queen of
Denial", I'd like to hear more.

	Thanks in advance...


		__ Sue

    RE: .28, hey Alan, you related to the comedian by the same name?  Nah,
    that would be a choice you wouldn't make...  BTW, how did you manage to
    choose your parents?  Ah, but I digress...

   I'm not the author of .28, but I'd like to comment anyway.

   > Is this basically what your note suggests? That we are all in control 
   > of our own destiny, no matter what the circumstances?

   If not you, then who?

   And re: .31, 

   > BTW, how did you manage to choose your parents?  Ah, but I digress...

   What in the world does this have to do with making a choice about current
   employment?

   Yes, YOU are responsible for your happiness in life, including at the work
   place.  If your working environment is causing you problems in other areas
   then it is YOUR responsibility to change that environment.  Digital does
   not owe you a stress free job, if such a thing exists.

   Now, that said, I will allow that many areas of Digital do not currently 
   provide a very healthy environment overall, and that employee morale is
   about the lowest I've seen it in 17 years.  Whether it is bad enough that
   you need to "move on" is a decision that only you can make.

   -- Sam

    I earn my living 8-5.
    
    I build my future 5-8.
    
    9-4-2
    
    Dan

>    Remember where you are in life is a direct result of choices that 
>    YOU make.  You made the choices no one else did.

Have to agree with this! Of course it is easy to lampoon the above statement
(picture person walking along, pleased with life choices, then being
hit by falling meteorite). 

Nevertheless it is a fine model to help me determine how I think, choose and
act. Speaking for myself, I MUST make life choices. I have to believe that
these choices will determine my future. Any other model is a slippery slope ...

... no matter what I choose outside forces control my destiny
... if something goes wrong it is because of those outside forces
... if something goes wrong it is someone else's fault
... so there is no point in being my best, or being true to myself

>> Nevertheless it is a fine model to help me determine how I think, choose and
>> act. Speaking for myself, I MUST make life choices. I have to believe that
>> these choices will determine my future. Any other model is a slippery slope ...

THIS model is a slippery slope, as well: Anything that is wrong with your life
is totally your own fault, blame yourself for everything.  This type of
attitude is not very helpful for people who are trying to find out "how do you
cope," as the base note asks.  The reality is somewhere in the middle: You make
the best decisions you can, but some things you cannot change, so accept them. 
The point is to be honest about what is truly under your control, take control
of what you can, and not beat yourself up about past problems.

It's true that some people are overly willing to blame others for their
misfortunes, but some people are too willing to blame themselves, trying to
figure out where they messed up, what they could have done differently.  In
some cases, NOTHING could have been done, and it really isn't your fault.

There's a good book called "Stop Improving Yourself and Start Living."  It
talks about taking positive steps toward a happier life, and not worrying about
how you got to where you are.  I recommend it, I thought it was very sensible.

						Brian

    It seems to me that the way things work is, I make choices, some of
    them turn out to be good, some not so good. The way the world works,
    even the choices that were good at some point can turn out to result in
    problems at another. Bad things happen. The world is indifferent to
    you, by and large, So, sometimes good things happen. When good things
    happen you celebrate. When bad things happen you greive, and move on.
    You start the cycle again. You make choices, some of them turn out to
    be good, some not so good. And so on.
    
    I think any notion that "it's all your fault", or "It's all the world's
    fault" is doomed.  
    
    This is not to say that features of your own life can't be improved,
    or that features of the "world" can't be improved. They can.
    
    For instance, I think with regard to life in the corporate American
    "world" these days, the "world" thinks that it can deal with us quite
    ruthlessly. This is because there are more rewards for it behaving this
    way than there are punishments. When the system changes to reward a
    different corproate American mentality, then the "world" as we
    experience it may change for the better, and more of our choices may
    seem to turn out to have better results. Thats's why I'm involving
    myself in local and state politics because I think that the punishment
    and reward system for corp[roations in our society can be changed to
    encourage behavior that is more consistent with the deep debt that
    corporations owe to the community which is, in fact, the source of
    their nurture; schools, roads, water, culture, people.  
    
    I am working on learning as many new skills as I can absorb.I'm 57.
    I assume nothing about Digital or the "world" outside me except that 
    events are a consequence of an interaction of all my personal choices
    over the years, mixed with cultural, business and political developments
    oustide of me. It's not either one or the other. I believe in personal
    responsibility within a community context. That is, I can work hard,
    learn, make choices, but then the community has its impacts, and I may
    have to change, or I may have to try to change it. It's an ebb and
    flow, an interaction. In one sense, you are alone with only yourself to
    count on; in another, you are among people in a community and you need
    their support at times, and you need to work with them for change that 
    might make things better for everybody.
    Bruce  

> THIS model is a slippery slope, as well: Anything that is wrong with your life
> is totally your own fault, blame yourself for everything.  This type of
> attitude is not very helpful for people who are trying to find out "how do you
> cope," as the base note asks.

Hey! Give me a break. Neither my reply, nor the contribution that I agreed
with, supported the idea that there is "fault" associated with the
consequences of my choices, so I kinda feel someone is putting words into
my mouth. Fault is a backward-looking idea. This is not to say that review
of the conseqences of my actions, and the actions of others is not valuable,
but that is a different argument.

The point I was making is that I should act as if I control my future. This
is a forward-looking idea. It determines what I will do. Of course I will
use experience from the past, and judgement, to help me choose the best
course of action. I merely argued that I will get the best outcome if I
expect that my best action will deliver my best result.

Read Candide! Again!