Conference 7.286::digital

            I'd bring one gift for all of us to share ... a 
            profitable Q2, Q3, and Q4 for FY95.

            Terry

Santa will be delivering Bobby a Corporate Strategy this Christmas,
its a blue one, has a bell, and hopefully the wheels will still be on it
by the New Year, time for the warranty to expire.

Now if Santa could only remember what he did with that gaggle of Worldly 
Marketing Experts he was going to give to Enrico. Oh well, he may just have 
to be satisifed with his other gift, a product development process that 
works.

- Seasons Greeting to all.

    Does it have to be blue?  
    
    :-)
    

    > Delighted customers.
    > A marketing budget that spans, geez, 12 whole months, so we could
      *plan*.  18-24 month estimate with 12 month actual would be SUPER!
    > Profitablity.  Sustained profitability.
    > Raises.  Promotions.  More responsibility.  Ability to execute.
    > 401K matching.  Dollar for dollar for the whole 8% (to make up for
      all the years we've been without it).
    > Stock at 70 by June so the stock plan will be worth it... again!
    > 40% share of the chip market (taking, say, 35% away from Intel
      (do we have even 5% now?  OK, take 40% away from Intel) and
      squashing PowerPC before it spreads).
    > Envious grimmaces from my friends who work for HP (OK, it's petty,
      but it would be a nice touch).
    
    I like to make a long list so Santa has a few choices... :-)
    
    -j

    Oh, yeah, most important of all...
    
    NO MORE LAYOFFS!
    
    Should have been #1 on my list. OK, #2, after delighted customers.
    
    -j

    
    move it all to Qualiphornia. 
    
    San Rafael or Petaluma.

    Cut out the middle 97  levels of middle mngt.
    Bring back field service.
    Have a REAL BUSINESS..So, everyone knows the BIG PICTURE...
    
    Create a 24 x 7 PC support desk...And if we had to, we could
    charge a minimal fee for said service.... It would generate a 
    profit...I GUARENTEE IT!!
    
    Cut out the remaining 52 levels of middle mngt.; and maybe a VP
    or 3...
    
    I would also do more advertising...The stuff we have now it REAL
    GOOD...But maybe over some of the potential customers heads.
    
    Cut out any type of SELF FLAGULATION/RAISES or stock options
    for anybody who is a wage class 4 or vp or ceo or.. or .. or..
    
    
    Jeff

    
    	WHAT FREE TURKEYS????!!!!????
    
    
    
    				Malcolm.

    To BP, I would give a copy of Lee Iaccoco's autobiography.

    
    SANTA,
    
    Please bring DIGITAL some vision

    A FUTURE for us all before we are over managed to death !!!!
    

I' have Santa bring back enthusiasm, morale, pay raises, promotions
when and where deserved regardless of any kind of "quota", and 
mostly pride.  Oh, and I'd ask him to bring back the feeling that
if you work for Digital then you're hot-shi*.

Liz (soon to be Oracle employee :-).  )

          Santa Brings Big Goodies to Digital, Stock Tops $100/share
	  
    December 25, 1994 [The Wishy Street Journal] - Intel executives reported
    today that they will cease production of all current x86 chips and instead
    resell hybrid AXP86 chips. This is an OEM version of Digital's AXP chip with
    additional circuitry to provide silicon-based 86 chip emulation at full AXP
    clock speed. PC manufacturers around the world hailed the announcement and
    placed orders for 10 billion chips for Q3 FY95. In a related announcement, a
    high-level source in Microsoft's operating systems group, identified only as
    "Dave", reported plans to port Digital's premier OpenVMS operating system to
    the AXP86 platform. The new system will be called Windows VMS, or WVMS.
    Digital will receive royalties for each copy of WVMS sold. Microsoft
    plans to replace all existing copies of MS-DOS, Windows 3.x and 95, and
    Windows NT with WVMS.

    
        How about the Digital version of Dickens' "A Christmas Carol"?
    
        The ghost of Digital Past (er, DEC) takes RP, EP and the SLT cast 
        down from 30,000 feet and shows them the real life in the trenches.  
        Chastened by their new-found compassion, they give out bonuses and 
        restore benefits, fire non-value-added management, take voluntary 
        paycuts.  They see morale, motivation and productivity rise, and 
        watch the company prosper.  And everyone lives happily ever after, 
        or for at least a quarter ...
    
        I can dream, can't I?
    
    
        Peter

	Is 30,000 feet the altitude the Corporate Jet flies at? :-)

							mike

>	Is 30,000 feet the altitude the Corporate Jet flies at? :-)

It was at least a characterization by John Murphy as to the level in
the corporation of the "Disposition Committee."  See note 3447.67. 
Here's the clip from that note:

  John Murphy is part of the "Disposition Committee" which is at the
  "30,000 foot level" in the company where they make recommendations
  on the various "spins" on the business (such as, employees wanting
  to break off and form their own company, joint ventures, and the
  outsourcing that SES is experiencing).  He said that "he wished he
  could be more optimistic," but the reasons Bob Brintz cited places
  Digital in a sensitive position of negotiations between Digital and
  the vendor, and Digital and its employees.
Mark

When did they come down from 50000 feet?

- paul

    It'd certainly be interesting (for a short while anyway) to see a bunch
    of them pop their "golden parachutes" from 30,000. feet. 
    
    let's see now, returning to the theme...
    
    We fade into B.P. fitfully tossing in his bed on Christmas eve. He is 
    feeling bad because an ex-employee, (insert any of a thousand names
    here), stoppped him at the plant gate this morning and told him that 
    his son Elonzo needed another college tuition payment (well you surely 
    weren't expecting Tiny Tim and a sad operation story, I hope). 
    
    As we watch he is visted in turn by three ghosts...
    
    I see K.O. as the ghost of Christmas past...standing silent and
    foreboding in his canoe and gliding past a scythe in one hand and a
    VAX/VMS reference manual in the other. He speaks..."PC's for Christmas,
    Bah, Humbug. They'll never fly... it's all snake oil... allllll of
    it...UNIX, PC's, Windows, NT...Bah! They just don't understand...they 
    never understood me...I'm ready for my close-up now Mr. DeMille"....he 
    floats out of view.
    
    and perhaps Big Ed Lucenti playing the ghost of Christmas present... at
    least for this Christmas he got his present...he fades into view growls
    at everyone and fades back out of view. Eddie, we hardly knew ye! He
    had some lines, but with Ed the less he actually says the better!
    
    and for the ghost of christmas' future, who better than Bill
    Gates...the future for all of us... or perhaps Bill the Cat...or maybe
    Gates costumed as Bill the Cat..."Gaahxx! Phfft!" he says, clearing a
    hair ball as he enters the room. "...mini-computers, we don't need no
    stinkin' mini-computers...we gonna' run the woild (try to imagine a
    Brooklyn-eske thing here- its a dream remember) on dese PC's...youse 
    better git wit the program or git outa town"...Gaaxxhxx!! another hair 
    ball is hocked up..."Bobbie, boobie (he's switch character and gone
    Hollywood) you look fabulous. Love the Porsche; hate the Mill - loose
    it! Love the hair, keep it; loose the field sales force. Love the
    chip plant, a definite must have, but loose the Software Consulting
    thing. And Bobbie, boobie, you've been working so hard, give yourself 
    a raise, you deserve it. Really! 
    
    Awaking in a fit B.P. exclaims "Thank Goodness. It was all just a
    dream, but I like that part about give myself a raise." we fade out as
    B.P. dictates a memo to his admin about his raise.
    
    Tis the season to be jolly... or was that... T'was the season of our
    greatest folly. Oh, well, Happy Holidays to all and to all whom are
    left a good night!
    
    -OFWAMI-
    
         

    Season's Greetings, Digital Equipment Corporation.

      Based on your behavior toward your employees, I want to give you 40,000
    lumps of coal, 1 for each employee you have escorted out the door.  All
    because you did not use your brains wisely.

      But I think long term and have decided to save the coal for my North Pole
    coal burning plant, darn the ozone.  Instead, I am sending you some brains 
    that carry the knowledge and skills to develop, market, and win in the 
    high tech industry.

      These brains also carry respect for the individual.  With them, executives
    will not receive raises that demoralize other employees.  Only positive
    actions will be possible with these brains.  

      Using these brains, Digital Equipment Corporation will finally get the
    'Equipment' out of their daily thoughts.  'Digital Solutions Corporation'
    will be the result, with software as its focus.  Since you have sold one
    of your most profitable software products (Rdb) to the competition, you
    shall also sell the Alpha technology to the competition and collect 
    royalties.  Remember; Code rules, chips drool.

      These brains will also eliminate fuzzy logic from your thought
    processes.  No more redefining businesses with terminology that no one
    can understand.  Keep it simple, smarty.
    
      Please accept these brains as a gift from dear Santa.  Please use them
    wisely. Or else, that coal will find its way to corporate headquarters.

      And a Happy Fiscal New Year, Digital Equipment Corporation.

    -Santa

    As a Christmas gift I'd like Digital changed so that:
    
    1	Digital is the company everyone wants to work for;
    
    2	Digital is the company everyone wants to buy;
    
    3	Digital is the company everyone wants to do business with.

    as a Christmas gift I'd like to give the previous noter a new brain
    and give Digital a kick up the rear.

         Alpha Sells, Alpha Sells
         Alpha Sells All Day
         Oh, What fun it is to Buy
         An Alpha once a Day
    
    ...who's going for the next verse?

    
    
    .23 is uncalled for.
    
    
    

    .23 thinks he is getting coal in his stocking so isn't in the spirit of
    things...
    
    ba hum-bug...
    
    I liked .22's remark...
    
    so, .25, I agree with you
    
    

         <<< HUMANE::DISK$CONFERENCES:[NOTES$LIBRARY]DIGITAL.NOTE;1 >>>
                        -< The Digital way of working >-
================================================================================
Note 3529.24                Holiday gifts for Digital                   24 of 26
HLDE01::VUURBOOM_R "Roelof Vuurboom @ APD, DTN 829 4" 6 lines  29-NOV-1994 10:54
                     -< Sung to the tune of Jingle Bells >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
         Alpha Sells, Alpha Sells
         Alpha Sells All Day
         Oh, What fun it is to Buy
         An Alpha once a Day
    
    ...who's going for the next verse?


   -Rushing to open the crate
   -and connect the SCSI bay
   -flick the switch and watch
   -the fastest machine today


     NEXT...

    How about ...
    
    	Santa used a Pentium
    	To steer his rocket sleigh.
    	Crashed it near HLO1.
    	Now, an Alpha's on it's way.  Hey!
    
    Steve

    And then...
    
    	Surfing 'cross the Internet
    	On an Alpha AXP;
    	O'ver the Web we get,
    	Fast as fast can be!
    	(zip zip zip zip)
    	Everyone will want
    	To Watch your Alpha take flight,
    	Oh, how fast can you dial
    	800-DIGITAL tonight? Oh, 
    
    
    M.

    And, as my Christmas gift to Digital, I would like Santa to bring back
    "The Digital Difference".  Not the campaign, but the feeling, the
    things that made us come up with that slogan.  Honesty, satisfaction, 
    technological superiority (at least we still have that!!!), enthusiasm,
    respect for our customers and ourselves.
    
    I would ask Santa to bring the SLT three things --
    
    1-	two lumps of coal per member 
    2-	a 30 day stint of work in a field sales/service office
    3-	followed by an all-expense paid trip to their friendly 
    	neighborhood substance abuse intervention facility.  
    
    Number 2 should be a required gift each year.  Number 3 will be
    a required benefit thereafter, because working in the field is 
    enough to drive anyone to drink!! :)!!
    
    And to each and every field employee of Digital, I would have Santa
    bring 3 things, as well.
    
    1- 	A video tape of the SLT experiencing life in the field!
    2-	A pat on the back, a big raise, and an Xmas bonus *
    3-	Just a little more patience, because better days are on the way.
    
    	*(That will be the day...!)
    
    M.
    
    
    
    

    re .31
    
    one more thing.......
    
    "and HERE, here's your damned phone number back!     ;^)
    
    
    chet