Conference 7.286::digital

3076.0. "New Corporate Structure" by HLDE01::VUURBOOM_R (Roelof Vuurboom @ APD, DTN 829 4066) Wed May 18 1994 08:07

     This was released yesterday evening:
    
    
     TO:     All Sales and Marketing Employees

     As you know, we are at a significant time in our company.  Our
     operating results are disappointing and unacceptable; we have had to
     say goodbye to many loyal and dedicated employees; and our customers
     are concerned for our future.

     To address these and many other issues of Digital's structure,
     culture, and technology, we have spent many months studying
     alternative ways of organizing our work.  We are happy to report that
     the results of that work are now complete, and with great confidence
     in our future we are pleased to announce the new structure of the
     company:

     In the past Digital has attempted to organize around our customers and
     their needs.  That strategy will continue.  However, the organizing
     principle will change.  Previously we had organized in one of two
     ways:  geographically or by industry.  These have proved to be in
     conflict and created many of our inefficiencies.  If we addressed our
     customers geographically our large, multinational customers and
     business partners were not properly served.  If we looked at our
     customers by industry, we often failed to serve them locally with
     accountable, professional support.

     We have decided that in the business world of the 90s a new organizing
     principle is needed: time.  We are therefore proud to announce the new
     Digital Sales and Marketing In Time (SMIT) strategy.  SMIT recognizes
     that time is an essential component of our business with our
     customers, and that their business is determined by our response to
     their timely needs.

     To implement SMIT we are today announcing that all of our sales and
     marketing organizations will be aligned by signs of the zodiac.  This
     was felt to be a much stronger priniciple than quarters, months, or
     even weeks of the year.  We also gain the advantage of years of
     astrological study to help us chart our strategy in detail.  It is
     clear that each of our customers has unique needs, depending on which
     sign they were born under, and we will be providing industry
     leadership in meeting those needs.

     In order to target markets where we can succeed, we will not target
     all twelve signs of the zodiac.  Rather, we will pick the ten where we
     can be most successful.  The resulting strategy will be known as
     SMIT-TEN.  We will also create cross-zodiacal sales and marketing
     organizations for those needs that are common to customers of all
     signs.

     Details of which signs of the zodiac will be chosen, and the vice
     presidents of sales and of marketing for each chosen sign, will be
     announced shortly (although we already know we will not focus on
     Aquarius).  You will be receiving a detailed information package
     describing these changes and your new assignment during the
     appropriate week in June, 1994.  The exact date you receive this
     information and the location of your new assignment will depend on
     your date of birth.  In the future we will also be asking for
     information on your time of birth so we can do a much better job of
     optimizing your work assignment and communicating to you within our
     SMIT-TEN strategy.


	[Unfortunately the originator of this must remain nameless
    	unless he or she cares to acknowledge.
    
	In any case it wasn't Bob, at least I _think_ it wasn't Bob,
	....ehhhh, Bob?] 
	

    Sounds as logical as just about anything else to come down the road
    lately.
    
    			Alfred

    Had me going.  Right up to the Zodiac signs.  
    
    It is a joke, right?  Right?  Guys, please.  It's a joke, right? 
    
    --bonnie

    YES!?!
    
    

    Hm... I'm sure the writer of .0 is not entirely serious.  Nice to see a
    little levity in this conference ;-)
    
    On a related idea, political leaders, including, I believe, certain
    presidents of the United States, have been known to consult
    astrologers.  If there's no other way to choose between conflicting
    alternatives, maybe the arbitrariness of astrological forecasting helps
    to precipitate a decision.
    
    Wonder what Bob P.s star sign is ...
    
    Brian

    
    I would say Cancer or Aries...
    

    I remember receiving a lot of Special High Intensity Training from
    management over the years.  SMIT might help spread the SHIT more
    evenly.
    
    							Tex :^]
    
    (who knows this is prolly gonna get deleted but will provide a snicker
    to someone in the meantime)

    Thanks..... that started off well, but then slammed the reader into the
    gutter with another non solution. Just what we need.
    
    Jeff

    re -.1
    
    Sorry, Jeff.  I was actually trying to be supportive.  I'm afraid you
    might have taken it wrong.  If you want management to give you SMIT,
    I'm all for it!
    
    							Tex
    

        The clue that this was not an "official" management notice is the
        fact that it lacks all message headers and hasn't been removed
        from the conference.  If it were an "official" notice, posting it
        without the original headers (and author attribution) would be a
        violation of conference policy (not to mention PP&P).
        
        Tom

    this is great!!!  Your SMIT plan made my day!  Keep up the humorous
    writing!