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Conference 7.286::digital

Title:The Digital way of working
Moderator:QUARK::LIONELON
Created:Fri Feb 14 1986
Last Modified:Fri Jun 06 1997
Last Successful Update:Fri Jun 06 1997
Number of topics:5321
Total number of notes:139771

3069.0. "Automated Performance Reviews..." by ASD::DIGRAZIA () Fri May 13 1994 14:29

	You know how you're always whining about what a bozo your supervisor is,
	just because your performance reviews stink?  About how the turkey could 
	be replaced with a button? 

	Well, cheer up.  I have good news.

	TigerSoftware is selling a computer program made by Knowledge Point
	called "Performance Now!".  Pretty neat name.  They also sell "Policies
	Now!" and "Descriptions Now!", covering the whole range from writing
	performance reviews, through establishing personnel policies, to
	describing jobs.

	From Tiger's catalog:


	  _Remarkable Software Actually Writes Your Employee Reviews!_ [a 
	  large-type headline]

	  Help Your Employees Reach Their Potential  --  Automatically 
	  Create Complete, Detailed Reviews!

	  Employee reviews help your people reach their full potential.  
	  They increase morale and stop mistakes, misunderstandings and 
	  miscommuinications before they happen.  With wrongful termination 
	  lawsuits at an all-time high, you can't afford to be without the 
	  protection that solid employee reviews provide. 
	  ...
	  Include any of dozens of performance elements like Job Knowledge 
	  and Attendance & Punctuality.  _Performance Now!_ breaks them 
	  down into key factors and lets you rate each employee on a scale 
	  from 1-5.
	  ...
	  You'll find out how to handle problem employees; how to communicate 
	  with them about their performance.
	  ...
	  Now it's simple to increase productivity, raise employee morale -- 
	  and protect yhour business against expensive "wrongful termination 
	  lawsuits".  Protect yourself easily.

	  [There's much, much more....]



	Wow!  Is that a button or what?  These programs (for IBM-compatible
	PC, of course) could replace half the white-collar toilers in America!

	Has anyone come across something like _Programmer Now!_?  I'd sure 
	like to get a dumb machine to do what I do all day.  Or maybe
	_Goals Now!_, or _Job Plan Now!_.  That would be nice.

	Anyhow, at $170 for "The Whole Shebang!", what a bargain!

	(Notice how they wait until the third sentence to get around to the
	part about lawsuits?  How circumspect.)

	Regards, Robert.
T.RTitleUserPersonal
Name
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3069.1ELWD3::LANEFri May 13 1994 15:012
Old stuff with a new label. Ever hear of festoon? It's a wonderful memo
maker.
3069.2KLAP::portersave the alesFri May 13 1994 15:284
Surel buying that software for your own use is tantamount to
admitting that you don't do a heck of a lot for your pay?

(Oh well, back to running FunctionalSpecNow!)
3069.3I've seen the future...and don't like itKAOFS::J_WEIRFri May 13 1994 15:5413
    Automated reviews.....
    
    	Heck we've had that in Canada for the last year and a half.
    
    On my annual review date, my following paycheck is updated with the 
    new increase. At that time I recieve an automatic Allin1 from Human
    Resources,telling me how they (whom ever they are) appreciate the good
    work and valiant effort I've made at making the corporation profitable.
    
    	It then instructs me that if I have any concerns or complaints
    to call the 1-800-we-care line, and an automated attendant will be
    pleased to help me with any of my problems.  
    
3069.4NOTIME::SACKSGerald Sacks ZKO2-3/N30 DTN:381-2085Fri May 13 1994 15:591
Hey, at least you get annual reviews.
3069.5AXEL::FOLEYRebel without a ClueFri May 13 1994 16:347
RE: .2

>>(Oh well, back to running FunctionalSpecNow!)

	hahahahahahaha, I can't stop laughing! 

							mike
3069.6DPDMAI::SODERSTROMBring on the Competition!Fri May 13 1994 16:433
    .3
    
    You're kidding. Is Big Brother wataching you??
3069.7DSSDEV::RUSTMon Jun 06 1994 10:4531
    More in the "software that really cares" department (from an ad in an
    in-flight magazine - talk about your captive audience):
    
    THOUGHTFUL MOMENTS
    
    Thoughtful Moments is about people. It's about knowing who they are and
    what they want out of life. It's about making others feel important.
    
    It's about knowing when to send roses or simply say "We appreciate the
    job your [sic] doing". And it's about being able to identify, review
    and respond appropriately and within moments to any event in the lives
    of employees, clients, family and friends.
    
    Thoughtful Moments is a relationship management program designed to
    help you stay up to date in 9 areas of your personal and business
    relationships. After being prompted of a need and reviewing data on a
    person, Thoughtful Moments allows you to quickly respond with a card,
    letter or gift. It's [sic] gift database catalog allows you to fax,
    mail or call toll-free to order products ranging from flowers to
    tropical cruises with just a click of a button.
    
    *Ultimately, Thoughtful Moments is about your success.* As you focus on
    the needs of others, they will begin to open doors of opportunity for
    you. For a FREE copy of Thoughtful Moments, a powerful relationship
    manager complete with JUST DO IT, a lifetime goal management program.
    Regular price $129.00 Yours FREE! Call today!
    
    ***
    
    Classy, eh?
    -b
3069.8number please!ANGLIN::KILSDONKMorphing outta hereMon Jun 06 1994 11:226
    Re: .7
    
    So what's the phone number???
    
    thanks
    Frank
3069.9DSSDEV::RUSTMon Jun 06 1994 11:5121
    Re .8: Replied by mail. (I don't remember whether cross-posting phone
    numbers is interpreted as "solicitation" here or not!) [Note: the offer
    is tagged as "a limited-time offer which may be withdrawn at any
    moment", which for all I know might mean "the moment anybody asks for
    one".]
    
    Anybody else who's interested, send me mail. And if you actually get
    the thing, feel free to send me one of those tropical cruises along
    with a thank-you note. ;-)
    
    [What does all this have to do with "the Digital way of working"? I
    dunno - seemed to me that since this whole downsizing business is being
    handled so painfully, perhaps somebody could use some software with a
    tender touch to take the sting out of the notifications. (Remember that
    old joke about the messenger who tried to deliver a telegram? The
    recipient said, "Ooh, is it a singing telegram? I've always wanted a
    singing telegram! Oh, how wonderful! It _is_, isn't it? Oh, please,
    sing it to me..." And the messenger, after humming a few bars as
    introduction, sang: "Your sister Rose is dead....")]
    
    -b