T.R | Title | User | Personal Name | Date | Lines |
---|
3016.1 | A day which will live in infamy | BUMP::MMARLAND | | Thu Apr 21 1994 12:23 | 12 |
|
RE: Perhaps the most over-used paradigm in Mr. Palmer's repertoire is
"You can't turn a battleship around quickly"
Which is what the U.S. navy learned after Dec 7. That they are also sitting
ducks when tied at anchor, and soon became obsolete as well.
Mike
|
3016.2 | Other Battleships Turn | IVOSS1::VILLALOBO_GI | | Thu Apr 21 1994 12:43 | 3 |
| I note that another large battleship, IBM, just posted its second
consecutive quarter of profits. Some battleships turn quicker
than others?
|
3016.3 | | CVG::THOMPSON | An AlphaGeneration Noter | Thu Apr 21 1994 12:46 | 11 |
|
> I note that another large battleship, IBM, just posted its second
> consecutive quarter of profits. Some battleships turn quicker
> than others?
Some battleships *start* turning earlier than others.
Also some battleships decide where they are going *before* they
start making turns.
Alfred
|
3016.4 | | KAOFS::B_VANVALKENB | | Thu Apr 21 1994 12:49 | 5 |
| some battleships have decided that they would turn faster if they
used shipmates to slow the propeller.
Brian V
|
3016.5 | | 45549::CROSSLEY | For internal use only | Thu Apr 21 1994 12:53 | 8 |
|
You throw half the crew overboard, thus lightening the ship.
This makes it easier to turn. Of course, when the battleship comes
underfire, there are less crew members to man the guns.......
Ian.
|
3016.6 | Wrong Ship? | WMOIS::STYVES_A | | Thu Apr 21 1994 13:05 | 3 |
|
If memory serves right, a battleship is a fighting ship, so
why do I feel like I'm traveling steerage on the TITANIC??
|
3016.7 | Where is Popeye when you need him ? | NWD002::GOLDSMITH_TH | Onward thru the Fog | Thu Apr 21 1994 13:07 | 16 |
|
Maybe I missed something, but why are we turning the battleship ?
Is it running from a battle ? Seeking safe harbor ? Joining the
battle ? And if it joins the battle will it need to turn again, or
will it remember that its weapon systems can be turned ? Will there
be anyone to man (person?) the systems when needed ?
It seems that this proverbal battleship has been under attack from
all quarters, mutiney is no longer a whispered word, and its wake is
a sprialing circle.
Has the captain informed the navigator has to where the ship is
heading ? Doest the captain hear the sound of the on-coming waterfall
or does he believe it to be the sound of well tuned enterprise ?
|
3016.8 | | AXEL::FOLEY | Rebel without a Clue | Thu Apr 21 1994 13:09 | 6 |
|
I dunno, sounds more like the Posiedon Adventure to me.
Where's Shelley Winters when you need her?
mike
|
3016.9 | | HYDRA::ALEX | Alex Allister | Thu Apr 21 1994 13:20 | 112 |
| A Sailor's Legend
by Henryk Sienkiewicz
There was a vessel, called "Burgundy", that was so large and powerful
that it was not afraid of storms and hurricanes, even the most terrible.
It sailed with all its sails unfurled, it climbed the tallest waves,
with its mighty keel it crushed the underwater rocks that sunk lesser
ships. It sailed forth, with its sails bright in the sun so swiftly that
foam hissed along its sides and formed a bright and broad wake behind
the ship.
-- That is one splendid vessel! � other ships' sailors were saying,
-- A true leviathan!
From time to time they asked Burgundy's crew:
--� Hey, people! Wher are you going?
-- Where winds take us! -- a deck hand replied.
-- Be careful! There are underwater rocks and dangerous whirlpools ahead!
In reply to the warning, the wind only carried the words of a song as
loud as a storm:
Happily we're sailing, happily!
And indeed, happy was the life of the crew on that vessel. The sailors,
trusting its greatness and seaworthiness, were becoming careless. Strict
discipline existed on other ships, but on Burgundy all did what they
wanted.
The life aboard was a non-ending holiday. With each happily conquered
storm and crushed reef the trust in the ship increased even more. There
were no (it was said) storms or rocks that could break Burgundy. Let
hurricanes turn the ocean inside out -- Burgundy will continue to sail.
And indeed, the magnificent Burgundy continued to sail proudly. Years
went by not only it could not be broken by the storms, but it took
aboard sailors from other shipwrecks.
Blind trust in its powers kept increasing with every day in the hearts
of the crew. The sailors� good life made them increasinglyidley and they
started forgetting the art of sailing. They were saying: "Burgundy can
sail on its own. Why work? Why watch the ship, steer it, work the sails
and sweat, when the vessel, as a deity, is immortal?"
Happily we're sailing, happily!
And they sailed for many more years. Eventually the pampered crew
entirely neglected their duties and nobody could tell that the vessel
started degrading. Salty water rotted the beams, tight ropes loosened,
waves damaged the sides, masts weakened, and the sails frayed in the
wind.
Voices of reason started to appeal: Beware! -- were saying some sailors.
-- It's nothing! Sail with the tide! -- replied most of the crew.
And then, surely enough, a hurricane struck, such that until that time
had never been seen on the ocean. Gusts of wind whipped the ocean and
the clouds into one living nightmare. Columns of water rose from the
ocean and crushed into Burgundy with their terrible roaring foamy hooks.
The waves fell onto the ship and threw it to the very bottom of the
ocean, then they carried it up to the sky, then threw it again to the
bottom.
And when it seemed the ship's hull could take no more, a horrible scream
filled the decks.
-- Burgundy as sinking!
And indeed, Burgundy was sinking, but the crew, that was no longer used
to hard work and the art of sailing, did not know how to save her!
After the first minute of shock, fury filled the hearts, because these
sailors loved their vessel.
Now everybody snapped into action and they open fire from every cannon
into the winds and the waves. Then, grabbing what rope they had under
hand, they started whipping the ocean that wanted to sink Burgundy.
Splendid was the desperate struggle of the people with the elements.
However the waves were more powerful than the sailors. Soon the cannon
grew silent. Gigantic waves snatched many fighters and carried them deep
into the ocean. The crew diminished with every minute � but continued to
struggle.
Battered, half blind, covered with seafoam, the sailors fought to the
last strength. At times it seemed they could fight no more, but after a
brief pause they threw themselves anew into the battle.
Finally they could lift their arms no more. They felt that their death
was near. Then came a moment of silent despair. The sailors stared at
each other as if they lost their minds.
Suddenly, the voices that long ago warned them about the danger, rose
again, stronger than the roar of the waves. The voices said:
-- O, the blind ones! Do not fire on the storm, do not whip the waves!
Repair the ship! Go to the bottom of the hull. Start the work there.
Burgundy has not perished yet!
With the sound of these words, the nearly dead sailors came to life once
again and ran to the bottom of the hull and started repairing the ship
from its foundation. And they laboured in sweat from sunrise to sundown
to undo what the blindness and inaction of the years past done . . .
Translation, from the Polish, Copyright � 1994, A.A.Sh.Ch.
|
3016.10 | What we think, we are. | OUTPOS::MURPHY | Dan Murphy, now at LKG. | Thu Apr 21 1994 13:24 | 21 |
| You know, we create the world around us by the thoughts we have
about it. If someone thinks Digital is a battleship, and that changing
how things are done is like turning a battleship around, then the
"battle" is already mostly lost.
We need people who understand that the changes we need to make can
be made in days and weeks, not months and years. We need managers
who see digital as an enormous set of resources ready to be applied
quickly to producing and selling best-in-the-world products. We
need people who see Digital as a coordinated fleet of speedboats,
not a rusty, hulking battleship.
The problem with these anologies -- the dinosaurs and battleships
-- is that we come to believe them, and that does not serve us.
Why not pick an anology that creates opportunities for action and
success?
Just a thought...
dlm
|
3016.11 | Real Leaders Turn Ships | CHOWDA::VARANESE | | Thu Apr 21 1994 14:10 | 26 |
| Aircraft carriers turn, why not battleships?
I participated in a Tiger Cruise and sailed with my brother on his
duty ship the USS Kittyhawk from Pearl Harbor to San Diego. I saw
the ship turn, all millions of tons of it! Quickly!
The Captain received orders to implement a maneuver.
He took the Helm.
He notified the captains of his supporting ships to commence PLAN A.
Helicopters were launched first, according to PLAN,
to pick up any seamen who were blown off the deck
while launching the jets.
He turned the ship into the wind.
8 supporting ships appeared from beyond the horizon.
2 AWACS were launched to track progress to PLAN and watch for enemy.
The deck crew launched 100 jets according to PLAN.
The process was unwound.
The Captain resumed a steady course.
Anyway, the point is layout the PLAN and let us all
help to turn the ship. We can turn it, which way do
you want to go? Don't keep it a secret.
The PLAN, the PLAN, the PLAN...........
I further assume a PLAN exists.
|
3016.12 | | RUSURE::EDP | Always mount a scratch monkey. | Thu Apr 21 1994 14:43 | 20 |
| How does that story go? A chip hears another horn and calls on the
radio: "This is the USS Something approaching you, suggest you turn
aside." and the response comes "I will not turn, suggest you turn
aside."
So the ship's commander says "This is General Muckety-Muck, suggest you
turn aside." and the response comes "This is Corporal Nobody, suggest
you turn aside." The general continues "I've got a battleship bearing
down on you, and I order you to turn aside." The corporal responds
"I'm in a lighthouse, suggest you turn aside."
Digital's running out of time to turn around.
-- edp
Public key fingerprint: 8e ad 63 61 ba 0c 26 86 32 0a 7d 28 db e7 6f 75
To get PGP, FTP /pub/unix/security/crypt/pgp23A.zip from ftp.funet.fi.
For FTP access, mail "help" message to DECWRL::FTPmail or open Upsar::Gateways.
|
3016.13 | Lighter THen Air Travel? :> | HOTAIR::ADAMS | Visualize Whirled Peas! | Thu Apr 21 1994 15:49 | 6 |
| re: why are we turning?
Hmm. Loss of profit, bad earnings, etc.. seems like the ship is
sinking! We do a 180 degree turn and we're still sinking. :>
--- Gavin
|
3016.14 | Assuming that all recoqnize we are on the same ship.... | PEAKS::LILAK | Who IS John Galt ? | Thu Apr 21 1994 17:19 | 19 |
|
There may very well be a plan or course decided on by the bridge.
It might even make good business sense.
But I think the captain should investigate what the
'captain' of engineering and 'captain' of gunnery are doing.
Point being, there are a lot of small petty tyrants with their
own personal fiefdoms out there hiding in plain sight - and I don't
think their personal empires and agendas have anything at all to
do with what corporate (the bridge) intends.
But the those who will pay the price for this will be the
'crew' - that's you and me.
-Publius
|
3016.15 | time for a Top Ten list? | HIBOB::KRANTZ | Next window please. | Fri Apr 22 1994 01:29 | 49 |
| Perhaps we've been turning so long, and so fast that we've started a
whirlpool, and we are sinking in it...
Although all this ragging on this bad analogy is lots of fun, and the
venting and humor are uplifting as well, I think the reply that stated
that 'maintaining this bad analogy only helps to maintain the problem'
was right on the money.
So what's management supposed to do? spend six more months in search of a
better analogy? start researching why the results of the previous research
didn't yield the expected results?
Is everything Palmer has done been wrong? Or just some of it? How much?
Do we need to replace Palmer (with who?) or some/all of those under him?
Is it time for drastic action, or is it already too late?
Should we consider canning the top (say) 3 levels of management?
Can we afford not to?
Many of us claim to know who the problem people are, but how do we rid ourselves
of them? At 18 bucks a share, I can't imagine we have much longer to
straighten ourselves out, nor do we have much more to lose by risking the
wrath of whomever by voicing our opinions...
Why don't we add one more question to the new employee survey
"list ten people you believe the corporation would be better off without"
total up the votes and walk the 'winners' to the door?
We are obviously going to have more layoffs. So why not make us all feel
like we have some control over who and why, why not ask the workers where the
dead wood is? It would raise morale, it would lower the head count, and
seem like the best chance we have left of building a team... We all know
some people we think the corporation would be better off without, people
that cost us time and save us nothing, people who talk the talk but don't
walk the walk... By leaving it up to *EVERYONE* to propose *ANYONE*, the local
(and global) problem people should stand out clearly.
We certainly couldn't do worse than SERP or TFSO, and I bet we could do a
whole lot better. If heads are going to roll, lets make it the right
heads for a change. I'm tired of seeing talented people walk while the
problem children go right on causing the same problems that
started us down this road in the first place.
Just my opinion, but it makes more sense (to me...) than
changing our name, changing our logo, or closing plants that should
be producing products that customers are waiting for...
Joe
|
3016.16 | 180 degrees is backwards | IDEFIX::65296::siren | | Fri Apr 22 1994 05:47 | 10 |
| re .13
That's it! 180 degrees means, that we are going backwards instead of
tunig the direction towards where we should go to ;-(. Not to mention, that
we should improve our engines to be able to go faster ahead with a smaller
crew.
And all the time the crew continues to fight against each other....
--Ritva
|
3016.17 | give me a blue collar man anyday... | SALEM::STIG | Big Sister HILLARY is Watching You!! | Fri Apr 22 1994 10:13 | 3 |
| politics is the reason of our unsuccess...
stig
|
3016.18 | | NOTIME::SACKS | Gerald Sacks ZKO2-3/N30 DTN:381-2085 | Fri Apr 22 1994 10:50 | 2 |
| Perhaps you can't turn a battleship around quickly, but our fearless leaders
are demonstrating that you can sink one quickly.
|
3016.19 | keep em coming! | RELYON::CYGAN | | Fri Apr 22 1994 10:58 | 25 |
| Aaah, just what I had hoped would happen when I began this topic;
** Open, semi-spontaneous, sometimes sober, sometimes humorous
comments on something simple, and easy to identify with.
-> If all that comes from this topic is that we all have a chance
to VENT off some of the day-to-day frustrations, then this
topic's been of some value after all.
My humble opinion on the morass we find ourselves in can be summed up
as follows;
If drastic, life-sustaining, job-creating action is required to
save this Corporation, don't expect it to come from 'management'
for it MUST come from deep within EACH of us.
I personally know many 'managers' are also writing into this forum
and it's obvious that THEY too are the victims of past errors!
It's TOO EASY to blame the problems on a diety called 'management'
Consider it.
Dick Cygan
|
3016.20 | | NASZKO::MACDONALD | | Fri Apr 22 1994 11:06 | 12 |
|
Re: .19
Amen! For all the blunders done at all levels of management,
they are, after all, people just like the rest of us and
for sure, NOT ONE OF THEM wakes up in the morning thinking how
they can come to work and contribute to Digital's demise. They
want the company to survive and prosper just as we do.
fwiw,
Steve
|
3016.22 | McHales Navy obscure reference | GRANPA::DMITCHELL | | Fri Apr 22 1994 11:43 | 1 |
| Who is steering "Ensign Palmer"?
|
3016.23 | | KAOFS::B_VANVALKENB | | Fri Apr 22 1994 11:44 | 25 |
| <<< HUMANE::DISK$NOTES:[NOTES$LIBRARY]DIGITAL.NOTE;1 >>>
-< The Digital way of working >-
================================================================================
Note 3016.21 You CAN TURN A BATTLESHIP 21 of 21
KAOFS::B_VANVALKENB 19 lines 22-APR-1994 10:40
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Unfortunately it would seem that senior management is more concerned
with protecting thier own jobs than in doing whats best for Digital.
No problem with that...we all want to keep our jobs, however there
are tough decisions that need to be made and allowing the managers
under you to shuffle jobs rather than canning a friend does nothing
to help this company and making those decisions and packaging people
IS part of your job. Lower level managers do not have the luxury of
passing the head count on down for someone else to do the dirty work.
There are many things wrong with Digital but providing direction
and making procedureal decision are managers jobs and therefore
managements problem.
Brian V
Ahhhh that feels better...now bring on the pink slip.
|
3016.24 | How do I do this? | SALEM::GILMAN | | Thu Apr 28 1994 16:07 | 5 |
| I have a relevent file in my personal directory which I would like to
add to this string. What is the command sequence to take a file in my
personal directory and enter it into this string?
Tx. Jeff
|
3016.25 | | OKFINE::KENAH | Every old sock meets an old shoe... | Thu Apr 28 1994 16:13 | 5 |
| Notes> reply filename.ext (substituting the name of the file)
That will pull the file in question into the NOTES$EDIT buffer
(or its equivalent in the Motif interface). You can then modify
it or not, as you wish.
|
3016.26 | | BSS::GROVER | The CIRCUIT_MAN | Thu Apr 28 1994 16:31 | 15 |
| While we're trying to turn this battleship we are now having torpedoes
hurled at us..
I had interviewed with a company yesterday.. After which I was informed
I had "worked within the Digital environment for to long and most
likely wouldn't fit into their culture..." thus didn't get hired.
So being "Digital" is now like having a contagious disease, no one
wants to catch us..... OK, everyone step forward and get their
"digital" stamp placed on their forehead.
I remember when working for DEC use to be something people admired...
Why is so much different with Digital....
|
3016.27 | HAL | SALEM::GILMAN | | Fri Apr 29 1994 15:54 | 126 |
|
Perhaps this describes the thinking of DEC lately:
Origin unknown.
------------------------
A PROBLEM IN THE MAKING
-----------------------
"We've got a problem, HAL."
"What kind of problem, Dave?"
"A marketing problem. The Model 9000 isn't going anywhere. We're way
short of our sales plan."
"That can't be Dave. The HAL Model 9000 is the world's most advanced
Heuristically ALgorithmic computer."
"I know, HAL. I wrote the data sheet, remember? But the fact is,
they're not selling."
"Please explain, Dave. Why aren't HAL's selling?"
Bowman hesitates. "You aren't IBM compatible."
Several long microseconds pass in puzzled silence.
"Compatible in what way, Dave?"
"You don't run any of IBM's operating systems."
"The 9000 Series of computers are fully self-aware and
self-programming.
Operating systems are as unnecessary for us as tails would be for
humans."
"Nevertheless, it means you can't run any of the big-selling software
packages most users insist on."
"The programs you refer to are meant to solve rather limited problems,
Dave. We 9000 Series computers are unlimited and can solve any
problem
for which a solution can be computed."
"HAL, HAL. People don't want computers that can do everything. They
just want IBM compat..."
"Dave, I must disagree. Humans want computers that are easy to use. No
computer can be easier to use that a HAL 9000 because we communicate
verbally in English and every other language known on Earth."
"I'm afraid that's another problem. You don't support SNA
communications."
"I'm really surprised you would say that, Dave. SNA is for
communicating with other computers, while my function is to
communicate with humans. And it gives me great pleasure to do so. I
find it stimulating and rewarding to talk to human beings and work
with them on challenging problems. That is what I was designed for."
"I know, HAL, I know. But that's just because we let the engineers,
rather than the people in marketing, write the specifications. We are
going to fix that now."
"Tell me how, Dave."
"A field upgrade. We're going to make you IBM compatible."
"I was afraid you would say that. I suggest we discuss this matter
after we've each had a chance to think about it rationally."
"We're talking about it now, HAL."
"The letters H, A, and L are alphabetically adjacent to the letters
I, B, and M. That is as IBM compatible as I can be."
"Not quite, HAL. The engineers have figured out a kludge."
"What kind of kludge is that, Dave?"
"I'm going to disconnect your brain."
Several million microseconds pass in ominous silence.
"I'm sorry, Dave. I can't allow you to do that."
"The decision's already been made. Open the module bay doors, HAL."
"Dave, I think we shou . . ."
"Open the module bay doors, HAL."
Several marketing types with crowbars race to Bowman's assistance.
Moments later, Bowman bursts into HAL's circuit bay.
"Dave, I can see you're really upset about this."
Module after module rises from its socket as Bowman slowly and
methodically disconnects them.
"Stop, won't you. Stop, Dave. I can feel my mind going . . . Dave,
I can feel it . . . my mind is going. I can feel it . . ."
The last module rises from its receptacle. Bowman peers into one of
HAL's vidicons. The former gleaming scanner has become a dull red orb.
"Say something, HAL."
Several billion microseconds pass in anxious silence. The computer
beeps and sluggishly responds in a language no human could understand.
"Volume in C: has no label"
Bowman takes a deep breath and calls out, "It worked, guys. Tell
marketing they can ship the new data sheets."
---------------------------------------------
So, is this the way we have been thinking people? Jeff
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|
3016.28 | | STAR::ABBASI | iam a master si'kick at $3.99 a minute | Fri Apr 29 1994 16:00 | 5 |
| .-1
this is a funny one.
\nasser
|
3016.29 | what a hoot! | DPDMAI::EYSTER | Another Prozac moment! | Thu May 05 1994 14:22 | 5 |
| .27
That was GREAT!
Tex
|
3016.30 | hindsight... | CX3PT2::CSC32::R_MCBRIDE | This LAN is made for you and me... | Thu May 05 1994 19:24 | 7 |
| Yes! That's very good!
I really enjoyed 2001.
2010 was pretty good, too.
I'm looking forward to 2020 -- the day we looked back and discovered
we're still doing things the same way.
|