Conference 7.286::digital

2757.0. "A Little Bit 'O Ye Olde Hiftory ... ;^)" by NACAD::SHERMAN () Fri Oct 29 1993 19:47

My brother sent this to me.  Don't know where it comes from, but it is 
worth reading, if for entertainment value only.  And, it *could* lead
to productive discussion.  Enjoy!

Steve

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Rare documents from the Management Analyst to the British Crown archives.

<forwards deleted>

The Court of King George III London, England
July 10, 1776
Mr. Thomas Jefferson
c/o The Continental Congress Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Dear Mr. Jefferson:
  We have read your "Declaration of Independence" with great interest.
Certainly, it represents a considerable undertaking, and many of your
statements do merit serious consideration. Unfortunately, the Declaration
as a whole fails to meet recently adopted specifications for proposals to
the Crown, so we must return the document to you for further refinement.
The questions which follow might assist you in your process of revision:

  1. In your opening paragraph you use the phrase the "Laws of Nature and
Nature's God." What are these laws? In what way are they the criteria
on which you base your central arguments? Please document with
citations from the recent literature.

  2. In the same paragraph you refer to the "opinions of mankind." Whose
polling data are you using? Without specific evidence, it seems to us the
"opinions of mankind" are a matter of opinion.

  3. You hold certain truths to be "self-evident" . Could you please
elaborate. If they are as evident as you claim then it should not be
difficult for you to locate the appropriate supporting statistics.

  4. "Life, Liberty, and the pursuit of happiness" seem to be the goals of
your proposal. These are not measurable goals.  If you were to say that
among these is the ability to sustain an average life expectancy in six
of the 13 colonies of at last 55 years, and to enable newspapers in the
colonies to print news without outside interference, and to raise the
average income of the colonists by 10 percent in the next 10 years, these
could be measurable goals. Please clarify.

  5. You state that "Whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of
these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and
to institute a new Government...."  Have you weighed this assertion
against all the alternatives? What are the trade-off considerations?

  6. Your description of the existing situation is quite extensive. Such a
long list of grievances should precede the statement of goals, not follow
it. Your problem statement needs improvement.

  7. Your strategy for achieving your goal is not developed at all. You
state that the colonies ought to be Free and Independent States, and that
they are "Absolved from All Allegiance to the British Crown."  Who or
 what must change to achieve this objective? In what way must they
change? What specific steps will you take to overcome the resistance?
How long will it take? We have found that a little foresight in these
areas helps to prevent careless errors later on. How cost-effective are
your strategies?

  8. Who among the list of signatories will be responsible for implementing
your strategy? Who conceived it? Who provided the theoretical research?
Who will constitute the advisory committee?  Please submit an organization
chart and vitas of the principal investigators.

  9. You must include an evaluation design. We have been requiring this
since Queen Anne's War.

  10. What impact will your problem have? .  Your failure to include any
assessment of this inspires little confidence in the long-range prospects
of your undertaking.

  11. Please submit a PERT diagram, an activity chart, itemized budget, and
manpower utilization matrix.

  We hope that these comments prove useful in revising your "Declaration of
Independence."  We welcome the submission of your revised proposal. Our
due date for  unsolicited proposals is July 31, 1776. Ten copies with 
original signatures will be required.

Sincerely,
 > Management Analyst to the British Crown

    I guess some people would laugh at this as a satire on the way our
    customers criticize our proposals.
    
    It also sounds like the reception us sales slugs get when we bring in an
    SI opportunity to the "program roadmap."