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Conference 7.286::digital

Title:The Digital way of working
Moderator:QUARK::LIONELON
Created:Fri Feb 14 1986
Last Modified:Fri Jun 06 1997
Last Successful Update:Fri Jun 06 1997
Number of topics:5321
Total number of notes:139771

1683.0. "Some light relief ;^)" by TREV::POWELL (Retire early...'n wake up the birds) Wed Nov 27 1991 20:47

	I thought, amongst all these "heavy" notes, I would share a little 
	light relief, curtesy of a local comic - our own Brian Oswald @NZO

	enjoy
	/Richard

    A senior Oracle Sales Rep recently died and went to heaven. He went up
    to the gates and knocked on the door. St. Peter answered and let him
    in. A wonderful sight unfolded before him, everyone floated on clouds
    and played harps, and the atmosphere was peaceful and idyllic.

    "This is fantastic" said the Oracle senior sales rep. "this is the
    place for me".

    "Don't be so hasty" said St. Peter, "Why don't you take this day pass
    and visit hell and check it out".
                                                                         
    So the Oracle senior sales rep. went down to visit hell and Lucifer let
    him in. A wonderful site unfolded before him, white sands, cool water,
    bikini clad girls, piles of food and booze, the sound of laughter
    filled the air.

    The Oracle senior sales rep. returned to heaven and said to St. Peter.
    "Sorry Pete, here's your day pass back, Hell is the place for me", and
    he returned to hell.

    When Lucifer let him in the doors of hell he was in an inferno of
    boiling lava, scorched earth and the screams of the tormented was
    deafening. "What happened?" said the Oracle Sales Rep. "it was fine
    just a few moments ago".

    "Well" said Lucifer "that was just the demonstration".

                                      (-)
T.RTitleUserPersonal
Name		DateLines
1683.1Looking for a copy of the 'IBM Song Book'RDVAX::KALIKOW[Harvard]�Wed Nov 27 1991 22:1434
    OK ::POWELL, thanks for the light touch (though I've seen this "old
    saw" told about every SW company in the known universe, not just
    Oracle.  It's just about reached the status of an Urban Legend!)  (said
    he, whose elder daughter works for Oracle:-).
    
    I'm writing in this file because of its wide readership...  to offer
    some Enterprising DECcie the opportunity to Cash In Big by vouchsafing
    to me an original edition (or failing that a copy) of an official IBM
    document, published several years ago, called the "IBM Song Book."  At
    a meeting today at an unnamed non-Mill DEC facility, an ex-IBMer
    offered the princely sum of $200 for this Cultural Treasure.  (He
    didn't mention the going price for a Xerox copy, but one assumes it
    would be less dear.)
    
    Now you don't expect me to tell EVERYONE right in this file just *who*
    the DECcie is who has the swag to spend in this extravagant manner, do
    you?  What I want is for anyone who DOES have a copy to spare, or who
    can see their way clear to copy one, to send it DIRECTLY to me.  "Do
    not pass GO, do not collect $200."  *I* will handle the collection
    process myself.  I faithfully promise to split 50-50 with the sender
    any proceeds of the deal (I'm entitled to 50% for a "finder's fee," as
    a reward for my initiative in posting this request.)  (I rather think
    that he'll welsh on the deal (apologies to any readers in, or with
    roots in, Wales) so there's no guarantee of ANY proceeds at all).
    
    So what say, DEC-land?  Is there any such thing in our collective
    attic?  If so, tell me immediately and I'll negotiate with Mr.
    Moneybags.  Preferably with document in hand.
    
    And if he won't pay up, we'll just publish some of the songs right
    here.  They're bound to be hilarious, in a twisted, antique, mental-
    straitjacketed sort of way.  :-) 
    
    Cheers, Dan Kalikow
1683.2I don't want to start a whole new string for this...RDVAX::KALIKOW[Harvard]�Thu Nov 28 1991 14:358
    ... but I have a cousin who's a Ph.D. in pure mathematics, a former
    professor, NSF Fellow, etc. etc....  Where would someone with that
    flavor apply for a job at Bell Laboratories?  Does anyone have a
    contact there who's into pure math?  
    
    If you have any contacts in any parts of IBM that might still be there
    after the recent bloodletting, pass them along too pls?  Replies via
    EMail, don't bother further ratholing this note...  :-)
1683.3SEACOW::GRADYtim gradyMon Dec 02 1991 17:336
>Where would someone with that flavor apply for a job at Bell Laboratories?  
    
    Bad news: New Jersey.  ;-)
    
    tim (born in Camden, N.J.)