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Conference 7.286::digital

Title:	The Digital way of working

Moderator:	QUARK::LIONELON

Created:	Fri Feb 14 1986
Last Modified:	Fri Jun 06 1997
Last Successful Update:	Fri Jun 06 1997
Number of topics:	5321
Total number of notes:	139771

1529.0. "Ken Olsen Captured and Held Hostage! ;^)" by TOOK::DMCLURE (Work to build the net) Wed Jul 10 1991 14:47

    				~ NEWS FLASH ~

    	Ken Olsen, President and founder of Digital Equipment Corporation,
    is rumored to have been captured and is currently being held hostage
    by a group of middle and upper level managers in his office at the
    headquarters facility of Maynard, Massachusetts.

    	Now reportedly bound and gagged by a tangled mess of Ethernet cables,
    the company president was able to type an electronic SOS memo and send
    it to a company-wide distribution list just before being captured, but
    unfortunately, the distribution list relied too heavily on a top-down
    form of distribution (known in the industry as "stovepiping"), so the
    memo never made it past the top few layers of management.

    	Swat teams are currently surrounding the Maynard facility in hopes
    of rescuing the company president, but they are greatly outnumbered by
    what some police officers and FBI agents have referred to as "an army
    of middle and upper-level management."  Juan Valdez, an intra-corporate
    member of the executive body guard squad whose job it is to protect
    Ken Olsen, was quoted as saying "They were everywhere!  We tried to
    stop them, but they just kept coming at us from all directions!  Lucky
    for me, I'm a experienced mill-rat, so I knew a secret way out of here
    that many of the newly promoted managers didn't know about, but
    unfortunately Ken didn't make it out in time.  He's still in there!"

    	The demands of the group known as the New Management Terrorists
    (NMT) are unclear, but many of the employees of the company feel that
    they have been mistreated in recent months and there is some speculation
    that the NMT group may be seeking to both prevent Ken Olsen, as well as
    the rest of the company's thousands of employees around the world from
    communicating with each other.  "Tell them to use existing channels"
    one company spokesperson (also a member of NMT) was overheard saying.
    When reached for an official comment, the official company spokesman
    responded to the effect of "...contrary to the rumors you are hearing,
    we are not holding Ken Olsen hostage; we only seek to protect him as
    well as the rest of the company from what we percieve as being a
    growing mass of disgruntled employees."  No further comments were
    obtained.  More news will be forthcoming as it develops...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    ;^)    ;^)    ;^)    ;^)    ;^)    ;^)    ;^)    ;^)    ;^)    ;^)

    	Of course, this is only a joke.  As far as I know, Ken Olsen
    is *not* being held hostage by any sort of management terrorist group.
    It does however, bring up an interesting question: what if such a
    thing were to happen?  How would any of the "troops" ever know any
    differently given the entrenched stovepiping of corporate communications
    and the monolithic and seemingly endless chains of command in this
    company coupled with the increasingly obscure levels of bureaucratic
    red tape one must now comply with in disseminating information across
    the network (ala the diccussion in note #1524 etc.)?

    	Could it be that the majority of Digital's employee population
    have been effectively cut off from Ken Olsen for quite some time now?
    When was the last time you communicated directly with KO?

    				   -davo

T.R	Title	User	Personal Name	Date	Lines
1529.1	Lest I inadvertantly push the wrong buttons here...	TOOK::DMCLURE	Work to build the net	`Thu Jul 11 1991 11:11`	32
	Ironically, I should mention here that I am actually quite impressed with my own management chain here at DEC. The managers I have impress me as hard workers who keep us adequately informed of things here in Telecom & Networks, and not only that, but more importantly, "they" also work very hard at helping us to develop excellent networking products which I am convinced are among Digital's best hopes for improving its overall financial picture. In case anyone's wondering what prompted me to write such a silly basenote then, I should mention that last year I came very close to accepting one of several COD positions offered to me in the field before coming to T&N, and after hearing about the many experiences of other COD candidates who have since either gone down in flames or have witnessed many others who did, I can truly relate. Prior to the COD fiasco, I had already lost two of my buddies to the "company finanicial situation" here in corporate, and not only that, but I must admit that having worked for several different management organizations in the past here at DEC, I know how crazy things can occasionally get and can only imagine what some DECies must be going through right now. On the whole however, the primary goal of this basenote was to try and rekindle a bit of that old DEC sense of humor which in my mind is one of this companies trademarks as well as being something which we need to maintain if we expect to survive these tough times with any level of sanity. -davo p.s. There! Now, I can't wait to get back to the real fun - writing X-windows interfaces for DECmcc Notification Filtering!
1529.2	DEC WARS II	CVG::THOMPSON	Semper Gumby	`Thu Jul 11 1991 12:34`	9
	When I read .0 I thought of the old DEC WARS cartoon that floated around some 12-15 years ago. Some of you may remember them. They involved a well known (but disguised thinly) other computer company invading the Mill. They were funny. After reading .0 i realized that similar cartoons today would probably be called: DEC WARS II: CIVIL WAR Alfred
1529.3	new union...?	PRIMES::ZIMMERMANN	@DCO, Landover MD, 341-2898	`Thu Jul 11 1991 15:54`	23
	Maynard, MA - Digital employees today, founded the Corporations first ever union. Digital Equipment Corporation, founded in 1957 by Ken Olsen, has been an innovator in the Computer market since it's inception. The success of Digital has been attributed to the people orientated culture of Digital. Today, employees of Digital fearing the 'old' culture was being replaced, determined to fight back. As the first move in the newly formed Union- Digital Equipment Corporation Digits (U-DECd), it's members voted unanimously to elect Ken Olsen as the Union President. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Yes, this too is only a joke, and I have no information that any employees of Digital are attempting to form any sort of union. It's just that in light of some of the talk in recent weeks, the assorted memos circulating, and .0, I started to wonder, what if this Corp. is so out of control, Ken can't fix it..... (by himself).... And, so you can all understand where it is that I come from, I believe Ken is Digital, and Digital is Ken.... Mark
1529.4	Help Digital AND yourself...!	SWAM2::KELLER_FR		`Thu Jul 11 1991 16:17`	25
	RE: .0: Thanks for the humor, and let's hope more noters follow your example! It may be jailhouse humor at times, but it's an essential part of the healing process. And heal we must, for we are the only thing that will save Digital. The cadres of VP's and middle (some say "muddle") managers don't have the impact that a single one of us here in the Field has, and the faster we get past the trauma the faster things will stabilize company-wide. Yes, there are problems galore that still remain to be solved, and many will never be solved regardless of what alphabet is in vogue (NMS, PBU, PL, etc.). But we can all impact the space directly around us to the best of our abilities, and regardless of what happens we can be satisfied that we did the very best we could. Of course we also watch out for ourselves and make sure that we're readily re-employable (inside or outside Digital) as an insurance policy. Anybody without insurance these days, be it auto, health or job, is taking an unnecessary risk. So cut the risk; do your job even better, make sure of your employability, have your resume up to date, and re-establish your network now even if you'll never need it. It can't hurt, it will make you an even better employee, it will positively impact Digital, and it just may result in you never having to leave Digital! OK, flamers: GO! Fred
1529.5		QUARK::LIONEL	Free advice is worth every cent	`Thu Jul 11 1991 16:45`	11
	Re: .2 Nit - that was "CPU WARS", by Charlie Andres. The series ran from 1977 through 1979, with an expanded and "sanitized" version printed and sold commercially in 1980. Definitely a classic. I have both the complete set of the originals as well as the book. Humor has always been a part of Digital, and I think it will serve us well today, even if my CC manager is known to frown upon it. Steve
1529.6	it AIN'T funny!	CECV03::BEAN	Attila the Hun was a LIBERAL!	`Thu Jul 11 1991 18:16`	7
	re: .3 ANY reference to joining or forming a union is less than humerous! tony 8*)
1529.7	Humor	SCAFFI::PICKHOVER	K W M L	`Fri Jul 12 1991 10:33`	13
	> ================================================================================ > Note 1529.4 Ken Olsen Captured and Held Hostage! ;^) 4 of 6 > SWAM2::KELLER_FR 25 lines 11-JUL-1991 15:17 > -< Help Digital AND yourself...! >- > -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- > > RE: .0: Thanks for the humor, and let's hope more noters follow your > example! It may be jailhouse humor at times, but it's an essential part Not jailhouse humor, gallows humor! ... Regards, Brian
1529.8		ASICS::LESLIE	We are paid by those who learn from our mistakes	`Fri Jul 12 1991 14:02`	12
	> <<< Note 1529.6 by CECV03::BEAN "Attila the Hun was a LIBERAL!" >>> >> -< it AIN'T funny! >- > re: .3 > ANY reference to joining or forming a union is less than humerous! > tony > 8*) Oh puhleaze take this to soapbox. what tripe! - andy