Conference waylay::singles_chat

The following was written by my brother.  Asketopoulos was what our last name
was before our dad came to the states and shortened it.  Jimmy often signed his
work with it.

Barb


			LIFE IS A CELEBRATION

Why are you so unhappy?
You seem to always
   be mourning your past.
You seem to dwell
   in sadness
Your every chance at happiness
   seems to shatter with pain,
because you mourn the past.
There will always be pain, sadness,
   and tragedy.
And we will feel great sorrow.
This is only as it should be.
However,
there comes a time
when you must release yourself
from this period of mourning.
There is a time
to throw away the past,
and carry on with your life.
You cannot live in the past forever.
   You must live for today.
Life is rich
   and joyous.
Life is for the living.
You need to reaffirm
   your reasons for living
so you can throw away the past.
You have to accept the pain
   of mourning
and throw it away,
put it behind you.
You have to believe in the future.
Life should be happy.


				Asketopoulos  1985

    re .24
    
    What a wonderful expression of faith in the future and more....
    
    From one Jimmy to another :-)
    
    Thank you
    
    James

    A good thing to read and reread - those that are dwelling
    on your "anniversary" dates.
    
    					cj *->

    	cj - you have to honor your feelings - deal with the emotions that
    come up around "anniversaries" and move on - if you don't - you stay
    either spend your life running away from the memories - or stay stuck
    where you are...
    
    joyce

    	There is a big difference between sitting on the "pity pot" and
    accepting/acknowledging sadness.
    
    joyce

>                 <<< Note 29.25 by TBC001::DROVER "HEDGEHOG" >>>
>                    -< I found that very inspirational... >-
>
>    re .24
>    
>    What a wonderful expression of faith in the future and more....
>    
>    From one Jimmy to another :-)
>    
>    Thank you
>    
>    James

Thanks James.  He was quite a guy!  He wrote quite a lot of stuff but this is
my favorite.  I read it often.  

Barb

    re .27 .... have you ever seen CJ mourn?  She deals with it all better 
    than anyone I've ever seen!!
    
    -Patty
    

    re:29.24
    
    Wonderful poem. It's something I need to hear.
    
    Karyn

By BRIAN DICKINSON

Time to take a deep breath - a deep breath, then pause.  There.  Feel 
better already, don't you?  Close your eyes.  Tight.  Count to 10.  
Slowly.  Afterward, eyes still closed, mind you - think of a 
particularly upbeat something that you did this year.  Call up an 
image of this episode.  Why is it memorable?  How long will you 
remember?

You say 1996 wasn't an especially upbeat year for you?  That happens.  
No problem.  Go back two, three years - more if you need to - until 
you come upon an image that makes you smile.  The important thing is 
to stay in the game.

When in doubt, feed the birds.

Write a letter.  The exercise will benefit your immortal soul and 
absolutely floor the recipient, who probably hasn't received a letter 
from anyone since Earl Butz was secretary of agriculture.  Teach 
yourself to tie a few good knots.  While you're at it, knit up the 
raveled sleeve of care.  Allow 10 minutes extra for everything.  When 
worried, just remember the words of Bernard de Clairvaux: "Hey, babe, 
chill.  Things could be worse."

Feed the birds.

Listen as the tea kettle whistles.  Watch it steam up the kitchen 
windows.  Write down Grandmother's recipe for potato pancakes 
Parmesan, before you lose it again.  Avoid throngs.  Laugh out loud 
when you feel like it.  For one day, leave your wristwatch at home.
Learn to whittle; throw shavings into the fireplace, where they will 
do some good.

Break the mold.

Drive a different route to work.  Say "good morning" to those 
glowering faces in the elevator (don't worry; Most people don't bite). 
Be aware of the fact that rock salt on sidewalks can kill grass.  
Watch dawn arrive; see how many colors the sky turns.

Take a deep breath.

Count your blessings.

Harboring a grudge against someone?  Has it helped?  (Didn't think 
so.)  Sing, if only in the shower.  Get older family members to tape 
their reminiscences.  Wiggle your toes.  Next time you make chili, add 
extra spice.  Whistle while you work.  Go for a good long walk;  
stretch those legs, including those important Achilles tendons, so 
easily forgotten in the hectic pace of today's living.

Take the dog.

Remember what my father used to say.  When I was a boy, and about to 
head off somewhere or other, my father always used to say, "Don't do 
anything dumb!"

Remember to feed the birds.

Take a chance now and then.  Look for a new friend.  Telephone an old 
friend.  Seize the moment.  Believe in yourself.  If you keep kicking 
yourself, you're going to fall down.  Davey Crockett, he of the long 
rifle and wild frontier, said: "Make sure you're right, then go 
ahead," which put it nicely.  A carpenter says: "Measure twice, cut
once."

Take your choice.

Breathe deeply.  Let your memory slip back to that summer when you 
were quite small, at the beach with your family, and your father 
hoisted you onto his shoulders and waded into the lake until his knees 
were covered.  You had never seen so much water.  You trusted your 
father totally.

Smile.  Give a loved one a good, strong hug, just on general 
principles; because we never can tell, can we?

Don't forget to feed the birds.

Think about this for a moment.  Humans are said to be the only 
creatures with a time sense, including an ability to contemplate such 
a thing as a future.  Does it follow that human kind is the only 
species able to deal with the concept of hope?  I suspect that we are. 
I do believe that the capacity for hope can help us meet stiff 
challenges.

Open the bedroom window a crack at night; sleep in fresh air.

Take a time-out now and then as a way of reducing stress.  It works 
for sports teams, long-distance truckers and troublesome toddlers; so 
why shouldn't it work for you?

Seize the moment.  Make it your own.  One never has quite enough 
moments, although we don't know this when we are young.  Then, if we 
look ahead, we see an endless stream full of moments, so many that we 
could never count them, and all of them ours for the taking.  Before 
we know it, though, the stream has struck dramatically and the 
available moments are growing scarce; and we wish that we had gone 
after them more assiduously when the stream was full.

So, we say again: Seize the moment - while you can.

As long as you are seizing moments, use the opportunity to divest 
yourself of all that residual guilt you're carrying around.  Guilt 
gives us warts and yellow teeth, among other things, and never did 
anyone any good.  Gather up your guilt, wrap it with care and send it 
Federal Express to my cousin Pearl in Bayonne, who can never get enough 
of the stuff.

Forgive. Smile, Walk. (Oh, do walk when you can.)  Share.  Reach.  
Laugh.  Teach.  Learn.  Run.  Believe.  Lift.  Climb.  Understand.  
Explore. Give.  Appreciate.  And, since you can never do it all, savor 
the small moments that, aggregated, become great.  Stay in the game - 
oh, and do remember to look after the birds.

Brian Dickinson is the Providence (R.I.) Journal's editorial 
columnist.

- Providence Journal editorial columnist Brian Dickinson, battling Lou 
Gehrig's disease, continues to write his columns even though he is 
confined to a wheelchair and can move only one finger on his left hand.

          Excellent Kathleen thanks for sharing that!!
    
    
            bob

    BABYGIRL MY BABYBOY
    WISH I HAD YOU THE PERFECT TOY
    MAKING SURE YOU ARE WARM AT NIGHT
    TUCKING YOU IN NICE AND TIGHT
     
    I KNOW SHE IS A PRETTY BRE
    AND I KNOW THEY DO LOVE ME
    JASON HES MY BOY
    THEY ARE ALL MY LOVE AND JOY
    
    I KNOW IT COULD BE A PERFECT WORLD
    JUST OF A SMILE FROM MY BOY OR GIRL
    I FEEL YOUR LOVE FROM YOUR HUGS AND KISS
    WHEN I'M GONE THATS SOMETHING I'LL FOREVER MISS
    
    SEE THE INNOCENCE IN YOUR EYES
    IN A WORLD THAT IS SO FULL OF LIES
    THE HAPPINESS THATS ON YOUR FACE
    WHEN I'M NOT NEAR YOU I FEEL OUT OF PLACE
    
    I WANT TO BE THERE WHEN YOU CRY AT NIGHT
    I'LL HUG AND HOLD YOU TILL YOUR FEELING RIGHT
    WHEN I HOLD YOU IN MY ARMS
    I'LL FIGHT BACK ALL THAT COULD DO YOU HARM
    
    SEEING YOU PLAY WITH EACH OTHER
    WITH A SPECIAL LOVE OF A SISTER AND BROTHER
    GROWWING UP MORE EVERYDAY
    MY LITTLE GIRL AND BOY I'D WISH YOU'D STAY
    
    I KNOW SHE IS A PRETTY BRE
    AND I KNOW THEY DO LOVE ME
    JASON HES MY BOY
    THEY ARE ALL MY LOVE AND JOY
    
    I LOVE YOU JAY AND BREANNA REA
    
     

	Hewyood E. Smith, died a year ago today.  I wasn't able to say 
goodbye in person - so I wrote this....  

    Dear Pawpaw,
    
    	I want you to know just how much it meant to me to have you in my
    life.  You were a strong man, proud, loving and giving.  You left a
    legacy of love behind you - children, grandchildren and great 
    grandchildren all sat at your knee and learned about life. 
    
    	I remember the first time I met you - at first you seemed almost
    fierce and then I realized, just like my beloved Da - you were gruff on
    the outside and creampuff inside.  
    
    	I watched your face and the children's face light up when you saw
    each other - the todlers running to you with outstretched arms and the
    way you so lovingly and carefully raised them into your lap.
    
    	You had a big family and there was always laughter.  You ruled your
    family, there's no doubt about it and when a "young-un" got out of
    hand, no matter what age - you spoke your peace.  We respected you for
    it - your strong sense of right and wrong helped keep the family on an
    even keel.
    
    	Your love for Mammaw is a thing of beauty - she was the light of
    your life.  Your respect and caring for her shone like a beacon - you
    would let no harm come to her.  I remember hearing about the time some
    "wipper snappers" mouthed off to her and when she told you - you strode
    off down to the swimming hole and read them the riot act.  You were in
    your 60's then, they were 20 year olds, who didn't know you from a hole
    in the wall.  When you were done, they came up to your house and
    apologized to Mammaw.
    
    	I know your life wasn't easy, Hubert told me your parents were
    murdered when you were 13 and from there on it you were on your own.  I
    know you survived by sheer willpower - sleeping in barns and hay fields
    and working on farms when you could find the work.
    
    	Then you met Mammaw and your world changed.  You were no longer
    alone.  You stood by her through the hard times and the good times and
    loved her with all your heart.  Even at the end, when you were dying
    and she was in Rehab, when you found out she didn't like it there - you
    raised cain until your daughters agreed to go get her.  You did not
    want Mammaw to be unhappy.  As the life slowly drained out of your
    body, you'd wake and call out for her and she was there right by your
    side.  
    
    	You knew you were dying and you faced it with courage and dignity. 
    You said your goodbyes, made peace with God and quietly left this
    world.  You made sure your family knew you were at peace with death,
    you told them what you wanted for your funeral and that you wanted them
    to dress as you'd always known them to, in blue jeans - no fancy suits.
    
    	I'll always remember how much I'd grown to love you by the end of
    that first week-end.  How safe I felt when you enveloped me in your big
    bear hug when we were leaving.  How each time after that when we spoke
    on the phone or saw each other you'd ask me "how are you doing sweet
    thing?".  I knew I was a loved member of your family, you treated me as
    if I was your grandaughter and not an "in-law".
    
    	I will always remember how you told your family after we'd left 
    that first visit that I was "right nice for a Northerner".
    
    	I love you Pawpaw - thank you for welcoming me into your family and
    for loving me... 
    
    joyce honorah
      

>	Hewyood E. Smith, died a year ago today.  I wasn't able to say 
>goodbye in person - so I wrote this....  

I remember...

many hugs my friend!
B

    
    	Thanks Barb...    Think it bothered me more to lose him than the
    "ex" :-)
    
    joyce

    
>    	Thanks Barb...    Think it bothered me more to lose him than the
>    "ex" :-)
    
Yeah, I know.  ;-)  Two totally different types of loss...

B

    
    	Yep, and both within 24 hrs of each other - that was one hell of a
    week - but its behind me now...
    
    joyce

    That was really touching Joyce... thanks for sharing...
    
    

    	Thanks Kathleen, that's how I felt about him.  I was very close to
    my grandfather and I'd lost him a few years before - pawpaw seemed to
    fill that void...
    
    joyce

    Have this on my fridge at home.  I cut it out of a book
    so long ago I can't remember.  Just a reminder to myself
    when I'm reaching for the stars...
    
    
    Watching the death of a dream
     is always hard
    For dreams die bitter,
     misshapen in the end.
    
               - Carol Y. Jones_

    
    I found this poem in the poetry notesfile 7 years ago.. I just refound
    it and it made me realize what I was going through then and how this
    poem really put the words to my feelings.. I remember writing to the
    woman and thanking her for the poem...
    
             <<< DNEAST::SYS$TOOLS:[NOTES$LIBRARY]POETRY.NOTE;2 >>>
                     -< Poems Poems and Still more Poems >-
================================================================================
Note 2216.0                  TWO (comments welcome)                   No replies
CSCMA::SCHILLER                                      18 lines   7-SEP-1990 11:18
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
                 TWO
    
    Two worlds I live in,
      two lives I lead.
    One is for him
      the other for me.
    
    Two dreams I have,
      two dreams I believe.
    One is for sanity,
      the other for me.
    
    Two sides have I,
      so hard to conceive.
    Two dark-faced strangers
      but there is only one me.
    
    -kristin
    

    Was listening to Nine Inch Nails when this song really hit home and
    brought back some old memories better left under the rug...
    
    Just when everything was making sense
    You took away all my self-confidence
    Now all that I've been hearing must be true
    I guess I'm not the only boy for you
    
    but that's what I get
    
    How could you turn us into this?
    After you just taught me how to kiss you
    I told you I'd never say goodbye
    Now I'm slipping in the tears you made me cry
    
    but that's what I get
    
    Why does it come as a surprise
    To think I was so naive?
    Maybe didn't mean so much
    But it meant everything to me....

    
    Forever's such a long time
    When you're living life alone
    It's not such a pretty life
    But it's all I've ever known
    
    I've found many ports
    On this ocean of love that I've sailed
    But in my search for my one true home
    Time and again I failed
    
    Forever is such a frightening word
    When all you can listen to
    Are echoes of broken promises
    And dreams that could never come true
    
    Then all at once my world was changed
    When I told you I love you
    Forever just isn't time enough
    To hear you love me too

    Found in "Dear Abby"
    
    			"Lessons You Learned"
    			  by Marlene Gerba
    
    
    
    	For every petal you pluck from a daisy,
    		You're granted one measure of love.
    	For every rainbow you find with two ends,
    		I wish you two stars from above.
    
    	For every tear you brush from a cheek,
    		I promise you kindness will follow,
    	Wherever you walk, under rainbows or stars,
    		Over daisies or down lonely hollow.
    
    	For every child you play with and talk to,
    		I grant you one heart full of laughter.
    	For every smile you place on a face,
    		I promise you peace ever after.
    
    	If you think "I" am giving you pricesless gifts,
    		Look close at yourself and your deeds.
    	The gifts you earned were the lessons you learned,
    		While answering other folks' needs.
                                                   

	Barb shared this with me a bit ago, I keep going back to it and
    reading it.  Too bad the whole world didn't think this way...
    
    joyce
    

LIFE

Life isn't about keeping score.
It's not about how many friends you have Or how accepted you are.
Not about if you have plans this weekend or if you're alone.
It isn't about who you're dating, who you used to date, how many 
people you've dated, or if you haven't been with anyone at all.
It isn't about who you have kissed,
It's not about sex.
It isn't about who your family is or how much money they have. 
Or what kind of car you drive.
Or where you are sent to school.
It's not about how beautiful or ugly you are.
Or what clothes you wear, what shoes you have on, or what kind of 
music you listen to.
It's not about if your hair is blonde, red, black, or brown Or if 
your skin is too light or too dark.
Not about what grades you get, how smart you are, how smart 
everybody else thinks you are, or how smart standardized tests say you are.
It's not about what clubs you're in or how good you are at "your" sport.
It's not about representing your whole being on a piece of paper and
seeing who will "accept the written you."

LIFE JUST ISN'T.

But, life is about who you love and who you hurt.
It's about who you make happy or unhappy purposefully. It's about
keeping or betraying trust.
It's about friendship, used as a sanctity or a weapon.
It's about what you say and mean, maybe hurtful, maybe heartening. 
About starting rumors and contributing to petty gossip.
It's about what judgments you pass and why.  And who your judgments
are spread to.
It's about who you've ignored with full control and intention. It's
about jealousy, fear, ignorance, and revenge.
It's about carrying inner hate and love, letting it grow, and
spreading it.
But most of all, it's about using your life to touch or poison other
people's hearts in such a way that could have never occurred alone.
Only you choose the way those hearts are affected, and those choices
are what life's all about.

                        

Thanks for entering that Joyce!  Speaking of LIFE...this is another one that I 
have hanging above my desk and have been thinking about a lot today...I am de-
finitely not understanding the world today.




			  THESE ARE MY WISHES FOR YOU

May you find serenity and tranquility in a world you may not always understand.
May the pain you have known and the conflict you have experienced give you the 
strength to walk through life facing each new situation with courage and optim-
ism. Always know that there are those whose love and understanding will always 
be there, even when you feel most alone. May you discover enough goodness in  
others to believe in a world of peace. May a kind word, a reassuring touch and 
a warm smile be yours every day of your life, and may you give these gifts as 
well as receive them. Remember the sunshine when the storm seems unending.  
Teach love to those who know hate, and let that love embrace you as you go into 
the world...

May the teachings of those you admire become part of you, so that you may call 
upon them. Remember, those whose lives you have touched and who have touched 
yours are always a part of you, even if the encounters were less than you would 
have wished. It is the content of the encounter that is more important that its 
form.  May you not become too concerned with material matters, but instead place
immeasurable value on the goodness in your heart.  Find time in each day to see 
beauty and love in the world around you. Realize that each person has limitless 
abilities, but each of us is different in our own way. What you may feel you  
lack in one regard may be more than compensated for in another. What you feel 
you lack in the present may become one of your strengths in the future. May you 
see your future as one filled with promise and possibility.

Learn to view everything as a worthwhile experience. May you find enough inner 
strength to determine you own worth by yourself, and not be dependent on an-
other's judgement of your accomplishments.

May you always feel loved. 

    I'm forwarding all these to myself to print and hang in my office.
    
    One of my favorites is the Irish Blessing..."May the road rise up to
    meet you..."  I sent this to a friend of mine in DEC, who got sold to
    BEA, and as I was typing, tears were running down my face.
    
    I also like the Desiderata.
    
    (I know, I'm a sentimental sap!)
                                         
    Gail

    
>    One of my favorites is the Irish Blessing..."May the road rise up to
>    meet you..."

Yeah ..... those Irish were always such party animals !!! :-) :-) :-) .......

That one sounds like another of those "who was moving and who was
standing still" ?? things:

 "but officer, that telephone pole just jumped out and hit me" !!

 "May the road rise up to meet you" sounds like another way to say
 "May you get stinking drunk and fall down on your face !!!"



[but maybe that's just my twisted mind (or lack thereof) working ...]

    	It is your twisted mind :-)
    
    If memory serves - this is the blessing...
    
    	May the road rise to greet you
    	May the wind be always at your back
    	May the sun shine warm upon your face
    	and may God keep you in the palm of his hand
    
    joyce

    Hi Joyce,
    
    You almost have it.  After May the sun shine warm upon your face
    there is a line The rain fall gently upon your fields and until
    we meet again may God keep you in the palm of his hand.
    
    Joan 

A variation on the theme...have this one hanging in my office too.  think I got
it off a card or something somewhere along the way.  Oh, and Gail, have Desider-
ata up there too.  ;-)  Yup, you can call me a sap too.  ;-)




               May your joys be as bright as the morning, and your
               sorrows merely be shadows that fade in the sunlight of
               love ~ May you have enough happiness to keep you sweet
               ~ Enough trials to keep you strong ~ Enough sorrow to
               keep you human ~ Enough hope to keep you happy ~
               Enough failure to keep you humble ~ Enough success to
               keep you eager ~ Enough friends to give you comfort ~
               Enough faith and courage in yourself to banish sadness
               ~ Enough wealth to meet your needs ~ And one thing
               more:  Enough determination to make each day a more
               wonderful day than the one before.



                                               ~ An Irish Blessing

    That's nice Barb.....
    
    Re:  29.50  Here's one you might appreciate (can you guess who wrote this?)
    
    My hat is old, my teeth are gold
    I have a bird I like to hold
    My shoe is off, my foot is cold.
    My shoe is off, my foot is cold
    I have a bird I like to hold
    My hat is old, my teeth are gold
    And now my story is all told.                     

    
    
    To be a star
    you must shine your own light
    follow your own path
    and don't be afraid of the dark
    for that is when stars shine brightest
    
    unknown