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Conference tecrus::mormonism

Title:The Glory of God is Intelligence.
Moderator:BSS::RONEY
Created:Thu Jan 28 1988
Last Modified:Fri Apr 25 1997
Last Successful Update:Fri Jun 06 1997
Number of topics:460
Total number of notes:6198

440.0. "Advice on How to Raise A Teen?" by AKOCOA::RONDINA () Fri Oct 29 1993 06:51

    I am going to enter a new note which is advice on how to raise
    teenagers from an LDS perspective.
    
    I have successfully maneuvered 2 boys (now 18 and 20) through the
    miseries of the teen years.  I have one (16) whose brain is starting to
    come on line again, but my 14 year old daugther has just started down
    the path and after 8 weeks in high school has already raised our
    anxiety level a few notches.
    
    So I am solliciting any practical advice on how to steer a fiercly
    independent girl through these years.  Any and all advice is welcome.
    What works?   What do you focus on?  What do you let slide?
    
    Paul
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440.1Always rely on the arm of God....BSS::RONEYCharles RoneyFri Nov 12 1993 13:1174
	Since no one else has any ideas on how to raise children, I though I
	would share some of mine.  The most important concepts, IMHO, are to
	always be honest in your dealings with your children; allow them as
	much agency as they can handle; and teach them how to live through the
	scriptures.

	Besides the experiences of Job, 1 Nephi 3:7, and 1 Cor. 10:13, I like
	to keep my perspective straight with the following D&C scripture :

	D&C 122:7  And if thou shouldst be cast into the pit, or into the 
		   hands of murderers, and the sentence of death passed upon 
		   thee; if thou be cast into the deep; if the billowing surge
		   conspire against thee; if fierce winds become thine enemy; 
		   if the heavens gather blackness, and all the elements combine
		   to hedge up the way; and above all, if the very jaws of hell
		   shall gape open the mouth wide after thee, know thou, my son,
		   that all these things shall give thee experience, and shall
		   be for thy good.
	D&C 122:8  The Son of Man hath descended below them all. Are thou 
		   greater than he?

	The discourse of King Benjamin in Mosiah also helps us to keep our 
	perspective along with this promise in D&C :

	D&C 121:7  My son, peace be unto thy soul; thine adversity and thine 
		   afflictions shall be but a small moment;
	D&C 121:8  And then, if thou endure it well, God shall exalt thee on 
		   high; thou shall triumph over all thy foes.

	We have the ability to overcome any adversity thrown against us, but it
	is not all that easy to maintain and keep your perspective.  That is
	why it is so important to keep the lines open with the one who can give
	us the strength to continue on.

	In dealing with children, I have also found the follow scriptures to be
	of great value :

	D&C 121:41  No power or influence can or ought to be maintained by 
		    virtue of the priesthood, only by persuasion, by long-
		    suffering, by gentleness and meekness, and by love 
		    unfeigned;
	D&C 121:42  By kindness, and pure knowledge, which shall greatly 
		    enlarge the soul without hypocrisy, and without guile--
	D&C 121:43  Reproving betimes with sharpness, when moved upon by the 
		    Holy Ghost; and then showing forth afterwards an increase 
		    of love toward him whom thou has reproved, lest he esteem 
		    thee to be his enemy;
	D&C 121:44  That he may know that thy faithfulness is stronger than 
		    the cords of death.
	D&C 121:45  Let thy bowels also be full of charity towards all men, and
		    to the household of faith, and let virtue garnish thy 
		    thoughts unceasingly; then shall thy confidence wax strong
		    in the presence of God; and the doctrine of the priesthood
		    shall distill upon thy soul as the dews from heaven.
	D&C 121:46  The Holy Ghost shall be thy constant companion, and thy 
		    scepter an unchanging scepter of righteousness and truth; 
		    and thy dominion shall be an everlasting dominion, and 
		    without compulsory means it shall flow unto thee forever 
		    and ever.

	Once the rules, guidelines, etc. have been established, then stick to
	them with appropriate consequences.  No matter what happens to one
	child, always remember that the other children are still there and
	hurting just as much as you are even if in a different way. 

	I believe that "goodly parents" happen when they truly love their
	children enough to allow them to make mistakes (agency) even after 
	they have been thoroughly trained in the ways of the Lord.  Then if
	they choose that which is not the way their parents would have them
	choose, the parents still should love them in all their endeavors.

	Charles