Conference tecrus::mormonism

    The Wilderness Youth Conference is scheduled to be a 2-night, 2-day
conference for the youth.  Typically the conference starts on a Thursday
night and ends late on a Saturday afternoon.  In our case, we started
Monday night, July 4, and ended on Wednesday, July 6.  Nevertheless, for
the adult leaders of the stake, the preparation begins months in advance.

    The parents of the youth are asked to bring the youth to the stake
center on the day conference starts.  The youth should start arriving about
6:00 p.m.  Hopefully, other than knowing this conference will be in the
outdoors, they will know very little about the details of the conference.

    The youth in the stake are divided into "families" of 8-12 youth each,
with about half male and half female in each group.  Each family group is 
assigned a parent couple, who should be amongst the strongest membrers of the
Church in your stake.  These families will be together throughout the entire
conference.

    The parent couples of the youth greet each family in a separate room in
the stake center, and take about 1:15 minutes to help everyone get to know
each other.  We sat down on the floor, and asked each person to tell about
themselves.  Then, the rest of the group gave each person a new name by which
they would be exclusively known throughout the conference.  (My wife was called
Clumsy - she tipped over two cups of soda during the time we were talking about
ourselves - and my name was Dizzy, after Dizzy Dean.  I'm a big baseball fan.)

    At 7:15, all the families met together in the chapel, where we heard members
of the stake presidency try to inspire the youth, with our stake president
giving a talk about the historical significance of banners.  He spoke mainly
about the American flag and the Title of Liberty as a rallying point for those
who believed in those causes.  Why talk about banners ?  The youth were sent
back to their rooms to design a banner for their family which would demonstrate
what Latter-Day Saint youth stand for in today's society; what makes our young
people different, what we have to share with others, what gives us hope and
courage, etc.  This activity didn't go that well in our group, and I wonder how
it went with some of the other parent couples.  However, it was an activity
which got them discussing gospel principles, which we would be doing throughout
the next day (little did they know this).

    Once the banners were done, it was night-time.  From the building we were
in (actually not our stake center, but in a chapel about 40 miles away), the
families drove to the site of the conference for the next 2 days.  For us, it
was about 30 miles from the Rome chapel.  Each family left about 10-15 minutes
apart from the chapel, as we had hoped to keep the families as distinct groups
throughout the conference.  We drove to a site about 3 1/2 miles from the
wilderness area.  We there parked our cars, and the youth had to hike in along
a trail to get to our families campsite.  The intent was to do this in the dark.
It was intended that the youth should stumble, perhaps trip and fall.  We as
parent leaders were to encourage the strong to help the weak, to give comfort
and aid, etc.  Of our group, only my wife hurt herself; she twisted an ankle
which is still giving her problems as we head out on vacation this weekend.

    In addition to helping "bond" the family by providing a moderately difficult
experience to pass through together, it did tire the youth out somewhat.  When
we reached our campsite (we got in at 12:30 p.m.; the last group reached their
campsite at 1:30 p.m.) the youth were ready for bed.  We cleaned out a spot to
sleep, laid down four tarps, spread out our sleeping bags, and after a
family prayer, we all went to bed.  Most of the young people went to sleep
very quickly.

    The next morning, we were to get everyone up by 7:00 a.m.  As everyone
got cleaned up and had the opportunities to use the port-a-johns, I went down
to the base camp to pick up the food for breakfast.  What was breakfast, after
our youth hadn't eaten a meal since about 4:30 the previous day ?  An orange !

    We gave each person an orange and asked them not to eat it.  We then had
everyone sit in a circle, and asked them to examine their orange for about 15
seconds (we probably gave them about 30 seconds).  Then they closed their eyes
and were to roll their oranges into the center of the circle.  After all the
oranges were in the center of the circle, each person was to get up and find
their orange.

    At that point, we began a technique we would use throughout the day.  We
"processed" the orange roll game.  Each person was asked to think about what
we had just done, and to think of a parallel to life.  We then went around the
circle and asked each perosn to share what they had thought of.  The CES had
asked the parents to make a couple of points.  (1) Most of us identified our
orange because of some sort of blemish or defect in the skin of the orange.
How many of us are like that when we identify people ?  Are the first things we
notice the things that are ugly - their nose/face/hair look funny, they have a
twang to their voice, they have to wear thick-rimmed glasses, they are 
overweight, etc.  Do we ever get past that point to find out what the inner
person/orange is like ?  (2) We had 15 seconds to identify our orange out of
a group of 10-14 oranges.  If we had been given 5 minutes, could we have
identified our orange out of 100 ?  How long would it take for us to be able to
identify our orange in 1000 ? 1,000,000 ?  How long did we live with our Father
in Heaven ?  Isn't likely that with all that time with Him, He knows us deeply,
and individually ?

    After processing the orange roll, the youth were allowed to eat their 
oranges.  While they could have all the water they wanted, this was to be the
only meal they would get until that evening.

    We spent the time from 8:30 a.m. to 5:00 p.m. playing a bunch of similar
"life games," gmaes which had parallels to life, or which helped develop
teamwork skills, etc.  Let me give a few examples of the 15 games our stake
played.  The CES provides detailed instructions, but I will give you an
overview.

    One of the games used a fireman's net.  A rope was tied tightly between 2
trees, about 10-12 feet off the ground.  Another rope was tied about 6 feet 
above that.  A ladder went up one of the trees, and the youth (and parents under
200 pounds) were to climb the ladder, walk out on the bottom rope, using the 
top rope to hang on to with their hands.  Halfway across the rope, the youth
were to left go of the top rope and fall backwards into a fireman's net, which
was being held by the other members of the family.  (Under neath the net, in a
hold dug in the ground, was a tractor inner tube for protection, in case the
person came close to hitting the ground.)  It took a few of the youth in our
stake a short while before mustering up the trust to let go.

    Another game we played was entitled Prisoner of War.  A rope was tied
between two trees, about 3 1/2 feet off the ground.  The youth were to imagine
that on one side of the rope was a POW compound.  The rope represented a fence
which was attached to an alarm.  Their goal was to get EVERYONE in the family
over the fence without touching it, and without making any noise.  They were
allowed to use anything in the compound.  One of the items was an 8 foot log,
which was designed as the ultimate escape route.  People could hold the log up
so that the others could walk over the fence.  This could be held up on the
other side for the last person to cross over.

    A third game was called Blind Walk.  We blindfolded all the youth in our
family group.  Each person was given a rope to hold onto.  They were instructed
that for the period of time during which they were blindfolded, they were not to
make any noise.  For a few minutes, they were asked to follow where the rope led
them.  Then the rope was taken away, and we asked them to follow the rythmic
oise which they were to hear.  At that point, my wife Susan started to make a
rather soft noise, stop for a few seconds, and then make the same noise again.
It was supposed to be soft, yet just loud enough so that everyone could hear it
in the beginning.  She would then walk around, leading the kids on a safe course
to follow.  After the kids got used to this noise (4 soft claps, in our case),
about 5 minutes later, I started in with a much louder noise, with a slightly
different pattern.  It was much easier to hear me' I didn't wait as long between
each series of claps to start again, and I would go towards people when they 
couldn't hear my wife.  My job was to lure them away from the soft noise and 
towards a rougher path, where they might stumble, get caught up in brush, etc.
Then I would leave them there for a short while until someone would take their
hands and lead them back.

    The parallel here is obvious.  The small, regular rythym represented the
Holy Ghost, while my sounds represented the temptations placed by the adversary.
It is sometimes difficult to hear and follow the Spirit; it requires that we
be listening for it.  The devil comes on strong and brassy; he gives us an easy
way to follow; but when we are trapped in his snares, he allows us to wallow in
our problems.  The rope could represent our parents clear teachings, the gospel
law, etc., which provide us with a basis in our Christian infancy to guide our
lives, until we have learned how to live by the Spirit.  Many other parallels
can be drawn.

    Anyway, after playing a number of these games until 5:00 p.m., each family
group was allowed to go back to their campsites.  There we received a box of
food, containing potatoes, carrots, onions, celery, 10 pounds of beef chunks,
beef broth, something to drink, and something for dessert.  Each youth had been
asked to bring a pocket knife, and each was responsible for cutting up a bunch
of vegetables and for stirring the stew which we cooked on Coleman stoves in our
campsites.  We made 4 gallons of beef stew, which they were glad to be able to
eat.  Most of the kids throughout conference had mentioned they were getting
hungry, when are we going to eat lunch, you mean we paid $40 for an orange, etc.
I did notice that by 4:30, they had tired out considerably, and were quite
subdued.

    After eating supper, all the families gathered together on a hillside, wher
a good brother, Wilford Tolman, a BYU professor in the engineering department,
gave a slide show presentation on the reality of God.  He also spoke of an
experience he had had at a youth conference in Tacoma, which I shall relate in
the next note.

    After the slide show, which was introduced as the beginning of the spiritual
part of conference, each family group went back to its individual campsites.
At that point it was about 10:00, and we parents were asked to conduct firesides
by candlelight.  We started out with two skits.  The boys, and the girls, were
asked to prepare short skits to talk about what they had experienced that day.
(They did this while the stew was cooking.)  Then we processed all of our
experiences that day.  All the lights were out except a candle which I held as
I started the process, sharing some of the feelings which I had had about the
day, and expressing my appreciation for them.  As we went around the circle,
each person who spoke lit the candle of the next speaker.  It was amazing to me
that after just knowing each other for about 28 hours, that we could talk about
the gospel with that much depth of feeling.  While not everyone in the stake
might feel close to their families, most of the youth had had enough good
experiences to help them bond to others in their families.

    Following the fireside, everyone could stay up and talk, play games, etc.,
as long as they did so in their family groups.  Our kids went to sleep between
midnight and 1 a.m.

    Before I talk about the final day, I want to share a story with which
Brother Tolman opened the hillside gathering on Tuesday night.  I also want
to mention that the cost for CES participation without sending Brother Tolman
out to the conference site is $800 less than if he comes.  However, if you
decide to try this program (and I would encourage you to talk to your stake
leaders about it), MAKE SURE HE COMES.  Hundreds of youth in our stake have said
he is the best speaker they ever heard.  I think it would be worth $5000 more
to have him come.

    Brother Tolman told of an experience he had had in the Tacoma Washington
South Stake.  The stake leaders involved in youth conference had gathered at the
conference site on Wednesday to finalize preparations, review the upcoming
conference, complete the training for the parent couples, etc.  (This is the
standard procedure; we met on Saturday July 2nd to do the same thing.  We had
also met a monthly since February for training as parent couples.)  The campsite
was at Mount Rainier, and it poured all day Wednesday.  They had planned to
Wednesday night and Thursday morning there as well; they stayed, but it poured
the whole time.  As they went back to the stake center to get the youth, it was
miserable out, and it still hadn't cleared up by the time the nighttime hikes
had started.  It was pitch black, and pouring on the kids.  They couldn't see
the path, often stumbed into the huge trees and ferns along the way.  The only
way they could get into camp was by following the sound of a river which ran to 
their left.  The last group didn't get into camp until 6:00 a.m., and it was
still pouring with no relief in sight.  Leaders and youth were miserable.

    One person in each parent couple was assigned to pick up the oranges at 7:00
a.m.  As they did so, the parents and other stake leaders formed a circle to
have a prayer to start the day.  A Polynesian man, a Brother Kay, who know is
serving in a temple presidency somewhere, knelt in the middle of the circle.
According to Brother Tolman, he offered a prayer that was as open and direct a
communication with God as he had ever heard.  Basically, he said the following:

    "Father in Heaven, we as leaders of our stake, have made many sacrifices so
that we could be here with our youth.  We have left our jobs, our families, the
comfort of our homes, so that we could be here to serve.  Two of those kneeling
in this circle and acting as mothers to these teenage youth are nursing mothers
and have left their infants at home; they have sacrificed much.  We have in our
stake fathers and mothers, brothers and sisters, aunts and uncles, who hope that
this conference can provide a spiritual awakening for these young people.  Some
of them need that change so much.  I remind you that for each one of the youth
in our stake, there are thousands and tens of thousands on the other side of 
the veil hoping and praying for a miracle."

    Then, according to Brother Tolamn, he said, "As an elder in Israel, holding
the holy Melchizedek Priesthood, I rebuke this weather."

    Can you imagine the kind of faith that must take ?  He was a leader in this
stake, a well respected man.  He could have looked awfully foolish to people who
trusted his judgment.  However, as he said these words, a miracle occured.
According to Brother Tolman, here's what happened:

    "As Brother Kay said, 'I rebuke this weather,' SCHOONK, a hole opened up
in the clouds, directly above the 32 people in this circle.  I have never seen
anything like it.  I have been flying a glider since I was 14 (he is now almost
60), and you have to know meteorology pretty well to do so.  Yet I have never 
seen what happened then before or since.  These heavy, dark clouds rolled up,
then went straight down, and rolled back, to form a hole directly over where
these 32 people were kneeling.  Just a foot outside this circle, it was still
pouring.  It wasn't misting; their was no slight change; it went from absolutely
no rain to a waterfall within a few inches."

    As these people finished their prayer, the parent wives and husbands went
back to their families.  As they did so, this circle expanded to continue to
contain these people.  During the day, this circle kept dry the families as they
participated in the life games.  Just outside this circle, it continued to pour
heavily.  One of the games they played at that time (they no longer do so) was
repelling down a cliff.  Brother Tolman said that as the youth got to the top of
a cliff, they could see the entire area, how the circle just contained these
families in the area the games were being played, and they just looked awed.

    The circle continued throughout that night and into the next day, just
covering the area being used for the conference.  At the very end of conference,
all the families got together for a testimony meeting, and as they gathered,
the circle contracted, to just contain the area where they met.  The testimony
meeting, which normally lasts about 2 hours, lasted 5 1/2 hours as each youth
wanted to share his feelings about what had transpired.  Finally, the meeting
was over, and a young girl was asked to give the closing prayer.  As soon as
she concluded with "Amen," SCHOONK, the circle disappeared, and the rains
poured on them again.

    Brother Tolman concluded this talk before going on with the slide show by
telling our youth, "This is how important this conference is to you.  I feel
that if any of the youth in the Tacoma South stake say there is no God, they
are going to be buffeted in hell."

    Wednesday morning began with an all you can eat breakfast of bacon
and eggs, pancakes, orange juice, all prepared in the campsites.  Each
campsite was to be cleaned up by 10:00 and all gear brought down to base
camp.  At that point, we would go as families to the hillside (our wilderness
chapel), where Brother Tolman spoke again.  The purpose of this meeting was
to prepare our youth to go out by themselves, alone, for 1 1/2 hours, to
accomplish 5 goals which Brother Tolman gave them.  His talk was so open and
honest, it really affected our youth for the good.  As I mentioned before,
almost every one of the youth in our ward have said he was the best speaker
they had ever heard, and many for the first time listened as they were taught
the gospel.

    The goals were:  (1) Identify the 3 worst things about yourself, the 3 
things you hate the most.  He talked about teenagers.  He talked about how cruel
they can sometimes be to each other.  He relayed a personal experience his son
had had at Church which cause him to stop any attempts to go to Church.  His son
had had some problems before being adopted, and had gotten involved with drugs
and alcohol.  He had been inactive for 3 years, but one day had decided to go
with his dad to Church (he asked every week).  When the young man, then 17, went
into priests quorum meeting, several of the young men said 'WASTIE, what are you
doing here ?' and covered their heads as though the sky was falling in.
His son came to Brother Tolman and said he would never go to Church again.  He
also pointed out the difficulties that often arise between parents and youth,
and talked about how difficult it is to maintain a good relationship sometimes.
He spoke of other problems, then challenged them to identify those 3 things they
found most disgusting in themselves.  They were to write these three items down
in a conference journal we gave them.  (2) He challenged them to write down
specific plans on how they would correct these problems.  He talked about the
need to be specific and not general, to not give themselves a way out.  He spoke
on how important it was for youth today to mature, and how overcoming their
weaknesses was a sugn of maturation.  (3) He then said, if you had 15 minutes
in a room alone with your Father in Heaven, and could ask him anything they
wanted, what would they want to know ?  Anything, it doesn't matter if it is
important to someone else, or if it is important as a world issue, what do YOU
want to know ?  (4) He challenged them to kneel and have that interview.  For
some of our youth, it may have been the first vocal prayer they ever offered;
for many it was the first sincere prayer in quite some time.

    Brother Tolman was a key in building them up to this solo experience.
He relayed how the whole conference was designed to build them spiritually.
He talked about how easy it was to get them to grumble by having them miss just
one meal, while they had all the water they want.  He talked about the need to
subject our bodily needs to our spirits.  He talked about stripping away the
masks we often wear, the phoniness, about how when we are tired and hungry the 
true charcter faults are open to us and others.  We wanted our youth to see
themselves as they are; they live in a comfortable world, often not being asked
to make sacrifices for others or God.  No wonder the pioneers were such great
and faithful people, look what they had to endure, look what they had had
exposed in themselves, yet they learned to love and accept each other.  Look
how God had succored them.

    He then discussed the fifth point.  After this experience prayer, and not
before, they were asked to process the contents of a letter that was to be given
to them before going out on their solo experience.  The letter was in a plain
envelope with their names typed on the outside.  While they didn't know it, the
contents of the envelope were letters from their parents.  We had gone to each
parent, explained what would happen during conference, and ask them to write as
open and honest, as loving and forgiving, as special a letter as they could, to 
make that youth feel loved, understood, needed.  These letters were one of the
keys to thw whole conference.

    Following this solo experience, a fog horn blew to gather everyone to a
feast, where everyone could eat all they wanted, associate with their friends, 
etc.  Following the feast was a testimony, which concluded the conference.

    The testimony meeting was great.  Some of the youth spoke about Brother
Tolman, how inspiring he was (he really was; after my vacation, I may relay
some of the other stories he used to inspire our youth).  Some told about how
they had been having problems with their parents, and how great they felt as
they read those letters.  One of our young men said he thought it was just
another form letter from the Church; when he saw it was from his father, he 
started to cry.  He had never had a close relationship with his father.  When
he stood up in testimony meeting, he said for the first time in his life, he
wanted to give his father a hug and tell him he loved him.  Some of the youth,
whom I though we never could reach, said they were going to reevaluate their
lives and turn themelves around.  Even the leaders had great experiences.  One
of the women who acted as a mother in one of the families, told of her 
difficulties she had always had with teenagers; how she had not trusted, or 
understood, and often disliked teenagers.  One of her sons had betrayed her by
running away for a period of time.  Why she had been asked to do this she did
not know.  Yet she said she began to appreciate what had happened, and her 
attitudes had also been changed by conference.

    I do not know of anyone in our ward (the youth, or the 3 parent couples)
who didn't have a very positive experience.  I would recommend this to you if
you have any influence in the stake youth programs at all.

    Briefly, about Brother Wilford Tolman.

    Brother Tolman grew up with a severe stuttering impediment.  He told
us that he was totally unable to speak a single word throughout his childhood
and teenage years.  He was taken to several specialists, and none were able to
help.  The kids at school made fun of him as well, and his parents often acted
as though they were ashamed of him.  He became very withdrawn and socially
bitter.

    All of his other brothers served on missions.  When he became of missionary
age, his parents arranged for him to serve in a mission office somewhere, thus
allowing other elders to be proselyting while he shared somewhat of the mission
experience.  He was taken to the mission home in Salt Lake.  In his first day
there, the missionaries were placed in a circle and asked to stand and tell
somewhat about themselves.  When his turn came, he just remained silent.  The
mission home president encouraged him, the elder next to him nudged him, but
he remained silent.  After about 10 minutes they moved on.  As the closing
prayer was given, and everyone bowed their heads, he ran out.

    He had no place to go, and eventually made his way to his apartment.  A few
hours later, the mission home president showed up, and by writing out his 
message, they were able to communicate.  The mission president thought about it,
made a call, and then told Brother Tolman that his parents would pick him up
the next day and take him to the Church office building for an appointment with
a general authority.

    Brother Tolman then related basically the following, " I knew what they
were going to do.  They were going to release me.  Well, that was fine, I hated
the stinking Church !  I'd never go back to California again.  Sure, Wilford 
couldn't even last one day in the mission !  We knew it !  What a dummy !  And
I didn't care, I was never going back again."

    The next morning, his dad took him to the Church office building.  He said
he remembered being taken to a small man with a very big chair.  On his name
plate was Spencer W. Kimball.  Elder Kimball, then an apostle, sat him in a
chair and asked him one question, "Do you believe in God ?"  He said what could
I say, my father was a bishop, and here was an apostle.  I didn't really know
that there was a God, but I nodded that I believed.  Then Elder Kimball asked
his father if he were able to assist in giving him a blessing.  The blessing was
short.  They placed their hands on his head, then Elder Kimball raised his
right arm to the sqaure, and said, "Brother Wilford J. Tolman [I forget what 
the J. stands for], by virtue of the holy apostleship, I command that your
tongue be loosed."  Brother Tolamn then said, "The very first words I ever said,
I said in that chair, and I haven't stopped talking since."

    He talked about how hard it was for him to go on a mission.  He had become
so withdrawn, that his mission was the hardest thing he ever did.  He had to
speak regularly in street meetings, and every week on a 1/2-hour radio show
in New Orleans.  He talked about how difficult it is to do so many things in 
life.  But he really gets to the point, and left a lasting impression on our
youth.

    He currently is in the engineering department at BYU.  Last year he was
voted as faculty member of the year.  Each summer, he takes time to do these
youth conferences throughout the Church.  This year he is doing 19.  If your
stake should decide to get involved, make sure he is asked to be there.

    
    
    Wow!  I'm impressed with the experiences you described and would
    very much like to learn more.  Is there any publication I can get
    or person I can contact to get more information.
    
    Tom

I just got back from a two-week vacation in New England, and found
that my desk has been moved.  I'll be very busy the next couple of
days, but I'll bring in some info on who to contact either tomorrow
or Wednesday.

My Stake (Nashua, NH) will be doing this in July.  My wife and I have been
invited to be participate, and we're looking forward to it.

If any of you noters have youth who will be attending a Wilderness Youth
Conference, don't tell them what will happen.  Part of the growth with the
participants is their discovery of themselves and their relationships to
others during the conference, and this 'discovery' requires that they
experience the conference first hand rather than via your comments.

Allen

	I'm sure you'll have a great time.  Good luck.