Conference turris::womannotes-v3

    Is this another wind-up ?
    
    Until I have proof that you are for real, I'm not going to say a
    thing...except this :
    
    They are just curious to see if the rumours about their -you know whats-
    being bigger than the white blokes are true.
    
    
    Jerome the Tongue_in_Cheek.

    Re: .1
    
      I am 4 real, and this is not to cause a wind-up.  This is something
    that I have always been curious about. 
    
    BTW- I have 2 (two) accounts; that's why the node is not the same.
    
    
    Lorenzo
    

    
    well, some of the women I know who have had relationships with African
    American males (as you put it) seem to think that the ones they had
    relationships with were very wonderful human beings, a quality which is
    seldom pre-directed by the color of anyone's skin.
    
    next?
    
    -Jody
    

    
    re .3
    
    Exactly.
    
    Lorenzo - why did you start dating your wife ? Because you liked her,
    presumably.

    If you are for real, why did you make so many controversial (sp?)
    statements elsewhere, then disappear for a couple of weeks before
    resurfacing. You left a lot of questions unanswered. I still have
    to be convinced that you are for real.
    
    
    Jerome the Sceptic (or is that Septic ? }-)  )

    Re: .4
    
    I knew she (Sandra) was going to be my wife, even before I had a chance
    to meet her.(smile) I call her "My Satin Doll". Sandra didn't have a
    life time, of being belittled by the public/media. I supposed If I had
    heard that she was a bad woman, and nothing good is about her; I would
    have proceeded with extreme caution.  I probably would not have even
    looked her way.
    
    
    Lorenzo
    

    
    you cannot tell a book by its cover.  Reading the reviews doesn't tell
    you what *you* will find in its pages.
    
    -Jody
    

    
    Jerome,
    
      1st of all, I was out sick for a couple of days; then we had an
    office move, that's still not completed. That's why I haven't been
    around. I made those statements because of the response I recieved;
    then I started having fun, but that's all in the past now.
    
    
    Lorenzo
    

    
    (I am taking this question seriously)
    Lorenzo,
    
    A white girlfriend of mine in college went through a stage of dating
    only black men.  The reasons she did this were as follows :
    	1) Black men seemed the only men with the courage to ask her
    	out.  (She was a stunning 5'9" blonde with a gifted IQ)
    	2) Black men seemed to "treat" her better than white men.
    	(To her, this meant flowers, dinner ...)
    	3) Also, black men seemed to handle her very assertive personality
    	much better.  (At one point she didn't want emotional
    	relationships, just physical.  The one white male whom she 
    	requested this of, went running.  Black men would agree.  BTW,
    	she only had one sleeping partner at a time.)
    	4) Which leads me to reply .1, which she firmly, (no pun intended)
    	believed.
    
    You asked!  BTW, she realized that the characteristics that she
    liked in a man weren't skin-color dependant and went on to date
    men of any color.  (Although, I still think she has a definite
    preference for African-American men.)
    
    Rachael

    I don't believe women go out and say I think I will fall in love with
    an Afro-American today.  I think that as the communities, churches, and
    work place become diversified there is an opportunity to know and love
    men from a variety of backgrounds.
    
    Granted there is some negative press about the Afro-American male, but
    there are also some very successful, attractive, sensitive men that 
    have negated that image.
    
    The 'myth' is of concern to white males not white women.

Speaking as a male, I percieve that part of the reason white women go
out with or marry black men is that women seem to be more open to
valuing what is *inside* another person than men do.  I have heard white
men remark on a woman's beauty (internal, external, or both) and then go
on to say they'd ask her for a date if she weren't black.  I do not see
that kind of thought pattern in the women I know.

-d

    Re: .9 & .10
    
    
     Interesting.
    
    Lorenzo
    

    
    Excuse me but WHAT is .6 about?  I think I'm missing some info here.
    
    Rachael
    

    I have recently been the victim of racism. I am a white male and
    the "racist" was a white female.
    
    I had been invited by a woman who works with my sister to meet her
    and a few of her friends at a bar. She thought that me and one of
    friends would get on like a house on fire. So, foolishly, I agreed to
    go.  When I met up with the group of girls I chatted away quite
    nicely with the group as a whole (all women) but found any attempt
    at conversation with the girl I was supposed to get on with, almost 
    impossible. I fairly soon gave up even trying to talk to her 'cos
    she was being *very* cold. 
    
    I found out later that she had not only found me attractive, but
    thought I was a really nice bloke as well.
    
    The reason she had been uninterested was because I wasn't black.
    She had recently dated a black bloke and was only interested in
    dating other black men.  The rest of the group of girls were all
    black and I'm surprised that *they* let her get away with this 
    racist attitude of all people.
    
    
    Jerome who will *never* go on a blind date again.  

    My cousin fell in love and married a black man. He had a wonderful
    personality and was very compassionate. Of course people questioned her
    motives and she said "that he had better qualities in himself than she 
    had ever seen when she dated white men. I don't feel people always need
    a reason for doing things. If you find someone that makes you feel good
    about yourself, then go with it. Afterall, you love aperson for who
    they are not what they are regardless of their race.
    
    Just MHO :-)
    
    Sandy 
    

I grew up in the 60s, and there was a spate of inter-racial-dating-for-its-own-
sake at the time.  I think curiousity had something to do with it.  Are you 
talking about casual surface-only dating, or teenage-experimental dating, or do
you mean the kind of deep personal attachment to the whole person that comes
over time in love?

The last I think develops in spite of the barriers that all people put
up between themselves and the rest of the species; being of different racial or
ethnic background is another of those barriers.  It is low for some,
insignificant for some, and insurmountable for some.

Your wife turned out to be what you could love; this is wonderful.  But it might
not have been so, she might have turned out to be insufferable in some way to
you (or you to her!) but it didn't, so I think to say that you knew on first
sight that you and she would be lovingly compatible is not the whole story.
Even if it is a nice part of the story.

Sara

              >> -< Curiousity killed the cat !  >-
    
         ......but satisfaction brought her back...   ;-)
                     

    Re: .13
    
      I was responding to note .4 .  What I was saying, is that, Sandra (My
    wife) and I, are both African American. My base question was asking:
    with all the prejudice that's in America, and the way that the black
    male is degraded: I was trying to understand why the white women are
    entering into a relationship/marriage with the black male, if we are so
    bad. Re-read .4 and try and understand what I'm saying, because i may
    not be bring this across correctly.smile
    
    Lorenzo
    

re: .18
    
>    male is degraded: I was trying to understand why the white women are
>    entering into a relationship/marriage with the black male, if we are so
>    bad. Re-read .4 and try and understand what I'm saying, because i may
>    not be bring this across correctly.smile
 
    If you know you "are so bad", why are you asking?
    People may LABEL the black male as bad, but that doesn't necessarily
    mean everybody believes it is so.
    Whoever questions the label is free to seek a relationship without the
    baggage the label implies, and some of these people will inevitably be
    non-black.
       
    why does the above paragraph end with a .smile?
    
    -Jody

    Re: .19
    
    (smile)  No reason. I'm just a happy person.
    
    
    Lorenzo
    

    
    re .6
    
    I'm curious. How did you know Sandra was going to be your wife before
    you met her ? Was it an arranged marriage ? Had you heard about her
    before from other people ?
    
    Sarah.

    Re: .21
    
       	I had never seen, or heard of her. It was a marriage made in
    heaven. Even our wedding was very differant/spiritual-emotional. When I
    first laid eyes on her, I thought of her to be stuck-up, and that she
    was too good for her self; but each sunday she came to church, I knew
    exactly where she sat, who she came in with, and what time she got
    there. There was just "something about her, that was *special*", and I
    felt it all inside. Very strong. I just knew it, without *Any* doubt.
    I love her sooo much!   She's my Satin Doll! It's a looong story: one
    day when you have the time I could tell you about it.
    
    
    Lorenzo
    

    Re: .21
    
    
    Also, I forgot to mention through much prayer & Confermation.
    
    Lorenzo
    

    re.9
    
    
    	No. 4 is totally incorrect. I played sports in school and am here to
    tell you it is a myth. Just for the record small hands and feet don't mean
    anything either. Besides if that is all a woman is interested in she
    can just buy whatever she needs.