Conference turris::womannotes-v3

    Estelle,
    
    You have my prayers.  Please *please* do not invalidate your pain.  You
    do not *need* a reason (PMS, etc.) for this to be too much to bear. 
    You don't *need* to be inhumanly strong or stoic or whatever you want
    to call it.  Something terrible has happened and panic/fear/anger is
    appropriate.  Being strong for everyone doesn't mean not feeling your
    feelings.
    
    I wish I was close enough to you to let you have my shoulder; I
    wouldn't let you go until you had cried yourself out.  I offer you many
    hand-patting hugs......
    
    
    E Grace

    See if your hospital has any support groups for people with critically
    ill loved ones, or call EAP and see if you can find the same.  If
    you're at all religious, you may want to visit your pastor or minister
    or rabbi or shaman and get some counseling from them.
    
    *hugs* to you.....
    
    -Jody
    

YIKES!

Best wishes for you, your family and Tommy...

peace,
john

    Estelle, you have my prayers and all the hugs you can manage. Thank you
    for feeling that you can call on us, just because you need to. The
    suggestion to check at the hospital for a support group is a good one. 
    
    Please don't ever hesitate to write if you need an electronic shoulder
    for support.
    
    Again my prayers and love to you and your family.
    
    Phil

    Stelle,
    I'll pray for everything to get solved the better way.
    If I can be of any help, please let me know.
    Virginia Jasmin
    Digital Brazil
    VAXRIO::JASMIN
    

    Estelle,
    
    My heart goes out to you.  I am not very good at words of comfort,
    but I will give you a little practical information which you may
    find helpful.
    
    Talk to your stepson.  Yes, he is unconscious, even deeply unconscious.
    Even so, hearing is the last sense to be turned off by unconsciousness;
    he may be able to hear you.  Tell him you love him, tell him what you
    hope for him, tell him what you think he would like to hear.
    
    Tell his biomother that he can hear her; it may shut her up.  Which
    would be a great help to everyone.
    
    It sounds like he landed on the back of his left hip.  This means
    that he did not land directly on his head.  Also, since they are
    speaking of a CAT scan to determine head injury, there are no signs
    of cracked or broken skull bones.  This means he was wearing a
    helmet.  Thus, although his head probably hit the pavement very
    hard, it did not take the full force of the fall, and it was
    protected by the helmet.  He probably has a bad concussion, but
    there is a good chance that his mind is intact.  I wish I could
    promise you that, but I can't.
    
    Take the advice in .1 and .2.  You are having a bad time, you are
    entitled to feel stressed and distraught, and you should get what
    help you can without guilt or hesitation.  Take care of yourself.
    
    						Ann B.

Estelle,

I will think of Tommy and your family with positiveness...

Can you take some time off?  Sometimes letting it all crash in helps even
though it may main the pain greater in the short run.

Many, many...


{{{{{{{{{{{{{HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGSSSSSSSSSSSSS}}}}}}}}}}


Hoping you will all be o.k.,

Barb

    Estelle,  I am for the most part a read only member of this conference
    but it is situations like yours that bring me to the fore.  This is a 
    terrible time for you ....it is a pain beyond pain and I sincerely feel
    for you. The reply in .6 is very wise and helpful listen to it.
    
    Seven years ago I was called home to California, my brother had been
    in a terrible motorcycle accident.  After being split in two by the 
    telephone post after he bounced off the truck that slammed into him, it 
    seemed apparent he would not survive.  The family gathered there in the 
    hosp...round the clock no one left....we all took turns staying by his 
    side even though he was unconcious.  We talked to him, wispered words of 
    love and held his hand the only part of his body that wasn't bruised.  It 
    was torture seeing him there waiting for him to go to slip away into the 
    respite of death. But you know what, he made it through.  Years later he 
    would say....he could feel the love around him, hear the words of confort 
    even though he couldn't respond.  He claims it was that that brought him 
    back. Love heals......
    
    Your son .....and he is your son feels your love even now and what ever 
    happens love will carry him through.
    
    For you and your husband, the pain of witnessing this event must not be
    invalidated.  You have every right to feel as you must.  Tears are the
    respites to our sorrows.  It is OK to cry, cry, cry.  
    
    Love and Tears are gifts that pave the way to surcease of
    sorrow and confort of spirit when life's events become overwhelmingly
    sad.
    
    Take care....my thoughts are with you and if you need to talk more in
    privately don't hesitate to drop me a line or give me a call.
    
    
    Love,
    Addie

Estelle,

	I will keep you, your son and family in my prayers.  I can see by what
you wrote that this is very stressful for you.  I would also hope that you
find the support that you need during this time.  My heart goes out to you
and to Tommy.

gentle hugs,
Martha

    Dear Estelle,
    
    Sometimes in the midst of crisis, we, as mothers, are so busy trying to
    support everyone else that we put aside our own pain until later when
    we have time to grieve.  The thing to realize is that the continuous
    and unrelenting stress will wear you down quickly.  Take the time to
    fall apart, cry, scream and vent your feelings so that when you've
    finally exhausted them, you can pick up the pieces and put yourself
    back together and again be strong for those who aren't.
    
    My 11 year old son was hit last spring by a woman who ran a red light. 
    Although he was sent home late the same night, I had to watch him
    closely.  At first, he seemed to be improving, but by the morning of
    the second day, I knew there was something wrong.  I took him back to
    the hospital and insisted on a CAT scan.  They finally discovered he
    had a ruptured artery in his brain.  Up to that time, I had coped and
    supported everyone around me, but when I overheard the doctor telling
    the brain surgeon that if I hadn't been alert, my son would have died,
    I lost it.  All the "what if's" came flooding through my mind and I
    finally let it go and cried.  Letting the grief out, Estelle, helped me
    to prepare for and get through the emergency surgery, the nights and
    days by my son's bedside and supporting my other children.  Because I
    didn't bottle it up, I could go on and cope.  
    
    Please, permit yourself this grief.  It is essential to your mental
    health as well as to your physical health.  Venting will help you
    through the long term, so please, let it out then when you next see
    your son, speak to him of your concerns.  He will know and feel your
    love.  It may help him to either fight for his life or to let go if he
    is undecided.  Never underestimate the power of that love.
    
    Much support and many hugs, and if I can help please write.
    
    Barb

    I'll give you the same advice I gave some very good friends of mine
    whose son was suddenly hit with spinal meningitis.  Conserve your
    energy, because this is only the beginning of a very long process. 
    Their son is classified now as a head injury case, and he has been in
    and out of three very fine rehab facilities.  They took him home and
    tried to rear him in a more natural environment for a couple of years. 
    His two siblings took the brunt of that, and now he is living in a
    fulltime rehab institution, receiving the very best of care and
    frequent visits from his parents.
    
    There will be a lot of choices to be made.  There will be no easy
    choices.  During the first, critical, period, your son (why continue to
    use the awful step word?) is going to be receiving the best of care. 
    You need to give yourself the best of care as well.  Much of what you
    will be going through is a cruel waiting game.  Conserve your energy as
    best as you can.
    
    Do check with the social worker at the hospital to see if there is a
    support group, especially one of head-injured or paraplegic caring
    people.  
    
    love,
    Marge

    Estelle,
    
    	My prayers and love are with you and your family.  
    
    Miriam

    Estelle,
    
    I wish there were more that I could offer, but my prayers and love go
    out to you and your family.
    
    Warm, big, hugs,
    
    -Dotti
    

    As has been said so eloquently - take care of yourself, and allow
    yourself to grieve.  TEll him of your love, he knows it, but it will
    help to hear it.  You will be in my thoughts, and prayers.  I hope that
    all turns out well, and that he recovers completely.  Many warm hugs!
    
    Linda

    Thank you all SO, SO MUCH for your responses (personally) as well as in
    the notesfile.  I feel stronger today and actually had a very good
    visit with Tommy last night.
    
    I arrived at the hospital to be greeted by a notes person (I will omit
    her name in case she would like to remain anonymous).  Last night was
    my first trip to the hospital alone, my husband, Tom remained home with
    the other two boys and we will begin taking turns going every other
    night.  Anyway, I was so touched to have this person take the time to
    reach out to me on a day when I needed it so badly!  I went in to see
    Tommy at 5:20 and the nurse let me stay clear to 6:00 p.m.!  Since I
    was alone, I did ask the nurse more questions about certain things that
    I had seen, but did not question in front of my husband.  Tommy's left
    eye was slightly open and I got very close to him and began talking. 
    I've always talked to him in the past because I truly think he feels
    our presence when we are in there.  However, Tommy actually squeezed my
    hand (a small squeeze, but it was a squeeze nonetheless!)!  I was
    elated!  It felt good to finally feel some life.  
    
    His condition has not changed, he remains critical, and now that they
    have finally installed the 'halo', which literally screws his head to
    the bed, they will be able to ease up somewhat on his morphine.  
    
    My notes-friend and I then went for a bite to eat and her company was
    like a shot in the arm for me.  We 'gabbed' and exchanged stories about
    each other, and it was amazing how much we had in common.  I can't
    thank her enough for being there for me last night!
    
    I returned to the hospital and the night nurse was on duty.  I asked
    for a face cloth and began to wash Tommy's face, neck and hands.  While
    I was doing this, I realized that a large portion of my frustration is
    not being able 'to do anything' while I'm with Tommy.  Washing his
    face, neck and hands, made me feel productive and comforting to him. 
    Tonight I'm going to ask the nurse to show me how to do simple little
    procedures (like using the suction tube to clean out his mouth and
    nose) that would possibly help her and absolutely help me!  
    
    The bio-mother continues to aggravate me to no end, however, I really
    must ignore her.  I've also decided to see a lawyer to see if she
    really has the authority to 'sign' for certain medical procedures to be
    done to Tommy without our knowledge or consent.  I have to protect
    Tommy as much as I can. 
    
    Well at the risk of rambling on, I'll sign off now.  Again, Thank You
    all for helping me through this crisis!  The notesfile have become my
    life saver these past two weeks!  THANK YOU!  THANK YOU!  THANK YOU!
    
    Estelle
    
    P.S.  My phone just rang as I went to sign off.  My husband made his
    routine call to the hospital and they are moving Tommy to a private
    room in the ICU Trauma Unit.  He developed a strange infection in his
    blood and urine and they do not know what it is.  They are calling in
    specialists to take a look at the lab samples to see if they can
    identify what this is.  We are going to the hospital this afternoon to
    meet with the doctors.  Your continued prayers are deeply appreciated!
     

    
    
    
    
    
    
    				hug
    
    
    
    
    
    

hugs to the wonderful noter, whoever you are, who went unasked to help Estelle.

More love and support to Estelle -- even on the days I may not post it here,
it's with you.

Estelle,

	Thank you for sharing more about what is going on with you and Tommy.
You and Tommy are in my thoughts and prayers.  

Hugs from another mother,
Martha

    
    Estelle..
    
    Just another noter sending out strong vibes of love and support..
    
    Phyllis
    

    Hugs, support, love to you and yours.
    
       Margaret

Estelle,

Still thinking of Tommy, you and your family.

More {{{{HHHHUUUUUUGGGGGGSS}}}}

Barb

    God's speed in recovery, to your stepson and to you and your family,
    Estelle.
    
    God Bless you for being the kind of stepmom that my stepmom is...there
    aren't many of you out there who aren't afraid to love like we were
    your own!  Thanks.
    
    Jill
    

    I'll be sending as much positive energy in your direction as
    I can muster, Estelle.
    
    I also want to share with you that I just finished reading "Wake Me
    When It's Over" by Mary Kay Blakely. Mary Kay went into a nine-day
    coma for a lot of different reasons, and she remembered almost 
    everything everyone said to her. People talking to her made a lot
    of difference---she realized how much everyone loved her and wanted
    her to wake up. I had heard that people in coma can hear, but Mary 
    Kay's book made me realize how much.
    
    I wish you and your family well.
    
    	june

    Update 4/5:
    
    Just received a call from the hospital and Tommy is much worse.  WE are
    leaving now to spend some time with him.  Please say a prayer that God
    be merciful and quick!
    
    God, I'm so scared.
    
    Thank you for your support and prayers!
    
    Estelle
    
    

    Estelle,
    
    I'm so sorry.  May things in the universe work out the way they need
    to. 
    
    Hug, and tears
    
    Meg

    peace,

    	Estelle,
    
    	Prayers for your stepson.
    
    	Scott

    hugs & prayers....
    
    -Jody
    

    Update 4/8/91:
    
    Tommy struggled, but, he made it!  He now has a massive blood clot in
    his back, the internal bleeding has started up again, his temperature
    was up to 104, and he has pneumonia now, but, he's making it.  My
    husband and I are convinced that all your prayers is what's keeping
    Tommy alive.  Thank you!  Thank you!  Thank you!  
    
    We were at the hospital all day Friday and most of Saturday and I will
    go back this afternoon.  It amazes us how much the human body can
    really take.  Your continued prayers are most appreciated!
    
    Thank you!  Thank you!  Thank you!
    
    Estelle
    

    Then I'll keep praying!
    
    hugs
    
    
    
    E

    Wonderful news Estelle!   Of course we'll keep praying and sending
    love!
    
    Miriam

    	I don't have a terminal at home, so I found myself wondering
    	at numerous times over the weekend how things were going.
    
    	I kept saying to myself, "I hope Tom's OK. I hope Estelle and
    	and her husband are OK."
    
    	After reading Estelle's latest, I feel nothing but relief.
    
    	My prayers continue.
    
    	Scott	

Estelle, I'm so glad!  Warm hugs to Tommy and you and all your family.

Sara

    
    That's great news Estelle!
    
    Another prayer joins the choir...
    
    'gail

    
    Estelle,
    
    Just a thought....
    While you're talking to him, would it be good to have some letters
    from here to Tommy to read him?
    Do you think it would help him feel good to know that people from
    all over the world are sending him best wishes?
                                                   
    'gail

    Estelle, feel free to print out my replies here. I have nothing but
    prayers, good thoughts, and the sincerest hopes that he will make it.
    Please let him know this. So many people are wishing him the best and
    hoping and praying for his speedy recovery. We all love him and your
    entire family and are pulling for you all.
    
    Sincerest love, hugs, and hopes for you all,
    
    Phil

    Estelle,
    
    My sons and I are praying for Tommy, and your family.  I'm going to 
    mention it at my folk group practice, and they are a wonderful group
    of people,who will also join in prayer for him.
    
    Take care, and thank YOU for keeping up posted,
    
    Kim

    I will offer my prayers for Tommy.   I hope to God he recovers.
    
    
    Bernie
    
    
    

    The first thing I do every morning when I get to the office is look for
    Tommy's news.
    My heart goes out to your family and to Tommy ...
    I'm looking forward to the day you'll tell us all he's at home.
    Love,
    
    L�cia - with 1 daughter, 1 son and 2 stepsons

    Any changes yet?
    
    Barb

    Thank you Lucia!  I really appreciate your concern and prayers.  The
    only positive thing that I can report about Tommy these days is that
    his fever has stabalized to 102.6 for the past 60 or so hours.  They
    are still trying to locate the source of the infection, however, so far
    no luck.  We are now praying that the massive blood clot in his back
    does not get infected.  If this happens, it will be another tremendous
    set back.  They will have to take him to surgery to remove the blood
    clot and the doctors are very scared that this will start the internal
    bleeding all over again.  This time they say it will be uncontrollable.
    
    I learned yesterday that they want to perform three additional
    surgeries on him.  The ones that we did know about were the fusion in
    his neck, repairs to the spine and the repairs needed to the pelvic
    bone and surrounding area.  Now they need to operate on the fracture in
    his right arm, put in a feeding tube directly into his stomach in order
    to eliminate one of the tubes going down his throat and also perform a
    tracheotomy in order to remove the ventilator tube also going down his
    throat. 
    
    The pneumonia is also subsiding, which is another plus.  However, I
    remain in awe and overcome by all the remaining surgery and therapy
    that is needed to put this man back together.  I pray that the doctors
    are wrong and that he is NOT paralyzed from the waist down.  I'm not
    sure if I said so before, however, they predict that he will be in the
    hospital for approximately 6 months (providing all goes WELL) and in a
    rehab center for 1 - 2 years!  This is very overwhelming for me.  I try
    to be strong for my husband and children, but when I look at the whole
    picture, it seems so incredible. 
    
    Tommy's condition no doubt remains critical.  We are at day 26 and to
    be perfectly honest, my husband and I are very surprised that he has
    survived the obsticles that he has had to fight.  He has not responded
    to us at all since the first week that he was in the hospital.  He is
    so, so ill.
    
    Thank you so much for your prayers.  I try to remain optomistic,
    however, it isn't always easy.  Some days I just want to stay in bed
    and cry, some days I would love to scream and yell, and other days I
    feel that this is just another day and I can cope with all this.  I'm
    sure other mothers going through this type of ordeal have felt the same
    way.
    
    Again, thank you!  Your constant support helps me EACH and EVERY day!
    
    Estelle
     

    Estelle, here're more hugs and support.  They are here even when I'm
    not noting, when you're not reading, whenever!
    
    Sara

	
    
    My sister was hit head on by a drunk driver 2 years ago this July,
    and suffered severe head injuries, along with a broken hip and multiple
    lacerations.  She was in a coma for a couple of weeks - first naturally
    and then induced by the doctors to keep her body still.  Her cranial
    pressure got so high sometimes they would not let us touch her,
    because the stimulation would increase the pressure.  She almost died 
    a couple of times those first few weeks.  
        
    I can understand your frustration - feeling like you want to do 
    something, looking for but not getting any significant response
    to your talking or stimulation.
    
    Keep talking to him....I feel also that even when a person is in
    a coma they can hear your words and feel your presence, and it may
    make a difference.  We were convinced that my sister could hear
    us and knew that we were there.  The nurses believed this also,
    but the doctors seemed to not want to give any hope and didn't
    encourage the contact (mostly because of the physical responses,
    such as increased BP, heart rate, respiration, and cranial pressure).
    But they did not offer us much hope at first either, predicting
    that if she lived she would be a vegetable.

    My sister spent about 1 month in ICU, 2 months in a regular hospital
    ward, and then another year + in intensive physical and vocational
    rehab.  We are now investigating residental programs, where she 
    would be minimally supervised, but live in her own 'apartment',
    and have a 'job'.  Her personality is mostly the same, but sometimes
    she takes things too seriously.  Her short term memory is not to
    well, and she keeps a 'memory' book to help her get along.

    For us, things turned out well, the doctors were amazed at her
    recovery, which was well beyond what they had predicted.  I hope
    that your son proves them wrong also.
    
    love and prayers,
    
    		Linda    

    Dear Noters:                                 (Update)
    
    I hate never having any good news to report, however, I hate even more
    never receiving any.  My husband and I are going to the hospital in a
    few minutes, because Tommy is developing more complications and we just
    need some answers from his primary physician.  
    
    I can't believe the impact this situation is having on my husband,
    family and myself.  We were like zombies all week end,either crying in
    each others arms or just looking for people to be with so we were not
    alone.  The stress is really unbelievable.  
    
    Today is day 30 and still Tommy remains critical with many, many,
    complications.  It is unbelievable what the human body can take.  When
    Mr. Hunt comes around in the waiting room (he's from Patient Services)
    I think I'll just confess how much of an impact this is having on us
    and see if he can direct us to some sort of support group.  My husband
    flatly refuses to even admit what this is doing, but I need to keep my
    sanity here.  I felt he had enough to worry about these days, I didn't
    want to aggravate him with this, but, I just don't think I can take
    much more without some sort of outside 'sanity group'.  
    
    Again, thank you for all your support and prayers.  We would never have
    come this far without them!
    
    God Bless you ALL!
    
    Estelle

    
    Estelle,
    
    Hugs to you, and your husband (even if he maybe doesn't realise he needs
    them!), and I admire your honesty in strength in admitting that now
    is the time to look for a support group. I feel sure that the hospital
    will be able to put you in touch with a group who can support you
    during this time.....it is hard for me to even imagine what you're
    going through as I (thank God) have never been there myself...
    
    My thoughts are with you and your family.
    'gail

    Estelle:
    
    It is hard to believe what I am saying, but I KNOW the prayers from
    noters here in this conference and others help.  It did for me and for
    my seriously ill father.  It amazes me how REALLY caring people are.
    
    My most humble prayers to you and Tommy.
    
    
    Jackie
    

    Estelle,
    
    Keep the faith! Every journey starts with the first step and it sounds
    like Tommy has been trying to take those steps even though he's in bad
    shape.  Of all the things that anyone can do for him, his own will to
    live will be the most important.  People have come from impossible
    situations where there was no way they could live to become happy,
    healthy individuals once again.  This could be one of those situations,
    so you need to keep that belief that all will work out well in the end.
    
    Many hugs and support,
    Barb

    Estelle,
    
    I don't know how you have gotten this far *without* some type of
    support group.  Please, *please*, go, talk with people who have been
    there, people who can be honest with you.
    
    My hugs are good, but people hugs are much much better.
    
    E Grace

Estelle, still thinking of you and your whole family.  Tell Tommy we're pulling
for him, and don't forget to take care of YOU.

Sara

    
    
    Has anyone heard from Estelle?
    
    Jackie

    	Yes, she sent me mail today.
    
    	Here's the upshot:
    
    	Tom is in surgery now. The doctors called from OR to ask
    	her permission to do 2 additional things during surgery.
    
    	Estelle said she's be heading to the hospital as soon as
    	she heard he was coming out of surgery.
    
    	Scott

    Thank you Scott for updating everyone.  
    
    I will write tomorrow when I know more.  He was in surgery today till
    3:20 p.m. (he went in at 9:00 a.m.).  They called me and told me he was
    ok, but that he was very, very sick.  They are, however, pleased with
    his ability to tolerate the anesthesia so well.  I'm in a bit of a rush
    to leave for the hospital, so I will give you better update tomorrow.
    
    Thank you for your concern, prayers and support!
    
    Estelle
    
    

    Estelle:
    
    You have my prayers......I am also praying so God gives you the
    strength you need.
    
    Jackie
    

    Another Update
    
    Thank you Jackie for your prayers!  I sure needed strength last night
    when I went in to see him.  I did not expect, nor was I prepared for
    what I saw.  When the doctor spoke to me on the phone yesterday, he
    indicated that he was putting in 'pins' to set his right dislocated
    elbow, and in his pelvic bone.  Well I never expected to see 1/4" steel
    rods sticking 8 or 9 inches out of his body and held in place by
    another rod going across the top.  I was somewhat shocked and then
    began to feel quite faint when I looked at his hips to see all this with
    no bandages to cover any of this.  
    
    The physician came in to talk with me and it took every ounce of self
    control and determination to concentrate on what he was telling me. 
    When he was done I left the room for about 15 minutes and then felt
    more composed and returned by his bedside.  
    
    Tommy had four surgical procedures yesterday.  All relatively minor (so
    they tell me anyway).  First the elbow, then the pelvic bone (I won't
    repeat those procedures, once is enough!) a repair to a VERY large
    wound on his back and hip, plus they inserted a 'filter' to prevent
    blood cloths from reaching his heart.  There are at least 5 more
    surgical procedures to go, but, all I can deal with is ONE DAY AT A
    TIME!
    
    I do have a semi-funny story.  When I left Tommy's room last night I
    returned to the waiting room and there were 4 women sitting there
    chatting.  Well one noticed that I didn't look so hot and came to sit
    next to me to see if I was ok.  She asked me my name and I told her. 
    She indicated that I was the "SECOND MRS. SHIELDS" that she met that
    day who had a son in the Trauma Unit by the name of Tommy!  She told
    these ladies that she calls herself Mrs. Shields because its easier
    than explaining that she's divorced from the father and remarried and
    she doesn't like being confused with me!  I LOVED IT!
    
    I must be getting stronger, I'm actually beginning to laugh about some
    of the things that are happening at the hospital.  I've also been able
    to hold some of the other women who cry because of depressing or bad
    news that they received about a loved one.  Its beginning to be a
    little easier to deal with this emotional roller coaster.  I know it
    wouldn't be this way if it were not for all the prayers that we are
    receiving.  We have our moments, however, their nothing like the ones
    in the beginning of this nightmare.
    
    Again, I can't thank you all enough for all your prayers, concern and
    SUPPORT!  You have become my lifeline!
    
    THANK YOU & God Bless!
    
    Estelle
       

    
    Thanks for the update Estelle - I was thinking about Tommy last
    night, and wondering how his surgery had gone.
    
    I'm sorry that the doctor didn't "warn" you about the pins -
    I've worked in a hospital so I've been used to this, and I thought
    at the time that we could have been a lot more sensitive to the
    fact that "lay people" need to have their expectations addressed
    sensitively...it can be an awful shock to just walk in on that....
    Sounds like you coped magnificently.
    As usual! :-)
    
    Hugs for you,
    'gail
    
    
    

    Estelle,
    
    Many many prayers for Tommy and you and the rest of the family.
    Prayers for strength and comfort, prayers to hold fear at bay, prayers
    to bring peace.
    
    Hang in, 
    
      Margaret

    Estelle, thank you for the update. As always, Tommy is in my prayers
    and thoughts at all times. I'm glad to see that you were amused by that
    story. It shows that your strength is working to keep you going. What a
    loving, caring person you are to be going through all this and still
    find the time to keep us posted. 
    
    Love and Blessed Light to you and Tommy,
    
    PJ

more hugs, and warm thoughts, for you and for Tommy and for your whole family.

(even a couple for the OTHER mrs s -- whatever has happened in the past, she
 needs a few now too.)

Estelle, you are TERRIFFIC!!!  major hugs coming you way, all day!

	Estelle,

	Though I haven't replied here before, I've thought about you and
	Tommy a lot.  Your strength is remarkable. Tommy is lucky to have
	someone like you watching out for him!  Don't forget to take care
	of yourself.

	Many heart-felt hugs,
	Sue

Hugs and love to Estelle and Tommy and Tommy's dad today.

Hope things are holding up for you all -- Sara

    Estelle:
    
    How are things going for you?   How is Tommy?
    
    More good wishes coming your way!
    
    
    Jackie
    

    UPDATE.
    
    Tommy is stable.  He is still kept in what they call 'drug induced coma', 
    with the morphine drip, as well as, regular shots of morphine. 
    
    I'm having a very hard time keeping it together since his surgery on
    Monday.  The pins that I explained a few notes back bother me something
    fierce.  I try not to think about the pain he must be in or look at his
    body where the pins are, however, my eyes are constantly drawn there
    and his facial expressions confirm his constant pain.  He opens his
    eyes occasionally, only to stare into space, and he immediately begins
    to cry.  He doesn't seem to be able to comprehend anything that is
    going on, but, I still talk to him constantly and reassure him that all
    this surgery is for a very good reason.  I try to encourage him to keep
    fighting and that he's doing so very well.  I hold his hand and place
    my other hand on his shoulder and try to soothe him the best I can.
    
    It will be 6 weeks this coming Sunday, and sometimes I feel like I'm
    talking to a person who cannot hear/see/touch or feel me.  Then Tommy
    seems to sense my frustration and give my hand a slight squeeze and I'm
    encouraged to go on.  I look at this time with him as 'bonding time'
    because I feel a totally new person will emerge from this tragedy that
    we'll have to get to know all over again.  
    
    He has at least 4 more surgery procedures that we know of.  But with
    all these prayers coming our way, I'm convinced that Tommy feels this
    and is drawing strength from all the support out there!  Thank you
    again, so much for holding me up, which is what enables me to hold up
    the rest of my family.  Sometimes I'm just so tired, that I wonder how
    long I can keep going at this pace, then BINGO I'll have a real good
    nights sleep, and I'm ready to go on again.  
    
    I wish there were more I could say besides, "THANK YOU, THANK YOU,
    THANK YOU!"
    
    GOD BLESS EACH AND EVERYONE OF YOU!
                                      
    Estelle 

Estelle,
	Thanks for the update.  Hugs to you and please pass them on to Tommy.
I hope that soon he will be able to feel the warmth of the spring sunshine and
hear he birds sing.  Your courage and strength must surely be an inspiration
to him.  You have both been through so much.  I'll keep you both in my thoughts
and prayers.

more hugs,
Martha

    I know this may sound fruity, but is there any music he liked
    particularly?  (something remarkably pertinent came to my mind - if he
    liked rock and roll maybe you can get a copy of The Who song "Tommy"
    ("tommy can you hear me, can you feel me near you, tommy can you see
    me, can I help to cheer you....").  
    
    Maybe you could play him some of his favorite music in a portable
    stereo, quietly so as not to disturb other patients.  I know music
    helps relieve my stress, so maybe you could remember what music he
    likes, or talk to his friends and see what he liked, or look around his
    bedroom and bring in any album that seems to be prominently placed
    that's upbeat.  
    
    *hugs* to you both
    
    -Jody
    

great suggestion Jody!!!!  

Estelle, maybe you could even sing along; Tommy might get a kick out of that!

Many more hugs, enuf to last the weekend and into the new week.  I'll check back
in then -- Sara

Estelle,
	I don't know if this'll be any comfort to you, but here's a story:

	I had surgery when I was 15, I had a rod inserted into my back and
the vertebrae fused as corrective surgery for scoliosis.  Then, about 3 years
later, my brother had some minor surgery.  I saw him in the hospital and he
looked really awful, like he was in lots of pain, pale, kind of tossing and
moaning a bit and out of it on drugs.  My mother told me I had looked much
worse then that.  So even though he looked awful, I could gauge that he really
was OK, if he was much better then I was.  I remember the pain, it was terrible,
and I cried when I was awake, too.  But it was bearable, and the memory passes 
with time very quickly.  

	The point of that is:
	1.  Maybe he looks worse to you then he really feels, I know my 
brother did.
	2.  Having been in some serious pain, I'd say it's really awful
but it was so nice to have my mother there, and I got through it.  Morphine
is very good.

	Good luck.

Rachael

Estelle, I've had a couple of friends who've had "pins" inserted in their
arms and attached to rods for healing broken bones. They said it wasn't
particularly uncomfortable, even though it looked horrific. They were coming
in to work (and working) during this time, so it couldn't have been too bad.

So - even though they look bad, the pins probably aren't particularly
uncomfortable.

	Hang in there,
	-- Charles

Good morning, Estelle, I hope your family had a good weekend.

Monday Morning Hugs -- Sara

    	What's the latest on Tom?
    
    	Scott

    Happy Monday Everyone!   We are now in week #6!
    
    This was actually the best week end we've had since this nightmare
    began.  I got much accomplished around the house and we had a relaxing
    family evening on Saturday night.  Friday evening and Sunday we went to
    the hospital.
    
    Tommy's kidneys ARE REALLY BEGINNING TO FUNCTION!!!!!!  The doctors, as
    well as, his father and I are very happy about that.  Yesterday he was
    having a bad day, fever was up somewhat and he was very agitated.  They
    had given him an extra shot of morphine just before we came in and he
    was beginning to rest more comfortably.  Even though he never wakes up
    we're beginning to be able to tell when he's uncomfortable, upset,
    sick, scared, etc., funny how we can adjust to a situation when we have
    too!  Since the kidneys are beginning to function, they are not giving
    him dialysis everyday, but, every 2 or 3 days.  Because of this we
    noticed his body was swelling again, but, it had been 3 days since his
    last treatment.  Its usually my turn to go on Monday evenings, however,
    his bio-mom also goes on Monday (her day off) and I'd like to take a
    ride up to my daughter's college and get a load of her things and bring
    them home.  She's due to come home for the summer on Thursday and you
    know how they always come home with double of what they left with!
    
    All in all, even though Tommy has 4 major surgeries to go through, we
    feel more optimistic.  The physicians told us over the week end that
    he's only just begun, that there will be many more 'bad' days and some
    maybe VERY bad.  But, I have to hang onto every sliver of good news
    that I get, even if its only "he had a good night, Mrs. Shields" that
    to me is progress.  
    
    I did ask the nurse if I could bring in a radio or tape player to play
    some of his favorite tunes, and she said it would be ok to do when we
    are there.  (I totally agreed with this.  He has so many tubes and is
    hooked to so many intervenous lines that the last thing they need is to
    be dealing with a radio when they are trying to wash him, shave him or
    changing all his apparatus.)  I noticed that I cannot use earphones on
    him due to his 'halo' (which keeps his head in place because of the
    broken neck), but if I put it next to his ear and keep it rather low so
    as to not disturb the other patients in the Trauma Unit, I bet he'll
    really love that!  Poor kid hasn't heard a tune in over 6 weeks!  Its
    the first thing I do every morning, snap on the stereo and listen for
    that weather report.
    
    I think Tommy's predicament has become part of our daily schedule and
    routine.  Strange how we think we have too much to do, and then
    suddenly we can fit in a 128 mile ride everyday to go and visit with a
    sick child.  So many things in our lives have refocused, and our
    priorities are completely different.  Its also shown us who our REAL
    friends are.  Isn't life strange.
    
    Once again, however, I'm at a loss as to how to thank each and every
    one of you for all your concern and support.  I will NEVER have the
    appropriate words to express what you have really all done for me these
    past six weeks.  You have all been my lifeline and stress relievers!
    THANK YOU SO, SO MUCH!
    
    God Bless you all!
    
    Estelle
     

    
    Hi Estelle!
    
    I'm sure Tommy's glad to hear that music - six weeks without
    sounds when I was his age would have driven me crazy!
    
    Still thinking of both of you daily,
    'gail

    Hi Estelle,
    
    Glad to hear of Tommy's progress, because it's really progress.
    I believe also that things (the pins, etc...)look worse than they
    really are.  My husband had to have his knee fused, and they put
    those pins in his leg from thigh to shin to keep it together.  The pins
    themselves didn't  hurt him much, until he hit his other leg with
    the ends....that hurt!.
    
    The crying you see might be frustration at his lack of ability to
    communicate...I'm sure he is aware of all that is going on around
    him.  
    
    The important thing is to take care of yourself!...I'm glad that
    you are still 'talking' to us in the notesfile, because talking
    it out is one of the best ways of dealing with any overwelming
    situation.  I must remind myself of this when things become to large
    for me to handle, because my first reaction is to isolate and shutdown.  

    Love and good wishes,
    
    	Linda

Estelle,
	Thank you for putting in an update on how Tommy is doing.  It is good
to hear that his kidneys are beginning to work.

	When you mentioned about the headphones not fitting over his halo I
remembered the headphones I bought once. They were small enough to fit in my
ears and I thought the sound quality was better - they were called buds I think.

	Another thing with the rods (I think of them as an outside cast) is 
that if there is an itch it can be scratched!

	
	I'm sending twice as many hugs cause it sounds like you both need
more.

Martha

    	Estelle,
    
    	Encouraging news, to be sure.
    
    	Tom, you and your husband are in my daily prayers.
    
    	Scott

    Estelle,
    
    I'm glad to hear that Tommy is making progress.  I like starting
    a week with good news.
    
    Many hugs for you all, along with warmest wishes and more prayers.
    
      Margaret
    

    
    Estelle:
    
    Thanks for taking the time out of your extremely busy schedule to let
    us know how everything is going!  It shows me what a caring person you
    really are, not only are you caring for Tommy, but you are caring for
    us also!
    
    My thoughts and prayers for all of you!
    
    Jackie 

    Tommy's kidneys ARE REALLY BEGINNING TO FUNCTION!!!!!!

Whew. *That* is really great news! That's a wonderful sign of progress.

	-- Charles

    Estelle,
    
    Thank God, Tommy is making progress.   It is great to get some good 
    news to start the week with.  
    
    I look forward to reading your updates on Tommy.   
    
    My prayers, hugs and best wishes to Tommy, you and your family.
    
    
    Bernie

    Estelle,
    
    Take heart!  My brother-in-law, who has been on dialysis for years,
    and had just about given up hope of a transplant, got a new kidney
    last week. He's doing great---he's up and walking around. His name
    is Tommy, too!
    
    Best wishes for you and your family (you guys are holding up amazingly
    well!)
    
    	june

    Update, 6-1/2 weeks 
    
    Good Morning Everyone!  Went to the hospital last night with my
    daughter (home from college) who had not yet seen Tommy and Wayne my
    'other' stepson.  I was not pleased when I walked in and saw that Tommy
    was wide awake (staring into space still, but, nonetheless wide awake)
    his face distorted with pain and crying.  When I touched him to talk to
    him, he was burning up, and he was also getting more blood.  His doctor
    happened to be doing rounds with his students and I asked him why Tommy
    was so awake and in such discomfort.  Well he looked at me and said,
    "Mrs. Shields, Tommy is in pain!"  That statement almost sent me to the
    moon!  I thought, but did not express, 'No kidding Sherlock!  I've been
    standing here for almost 7 weeks and I never noticed he was in pain!' 
    I did the next best thing and went in the hall and called my husband to
    come to the hospital NOW!
    
    Another physician, Dr. Rourke (sp?), who is such a sweetheart came in
    to talk to me.  He explained that Tommy was going for an angiogram
    (sp?) to see why he started bleeding internally again.  To make a 6
    hour story short, the results were that he was not bleeding from the
    potential area that they were concerned about (which was the worst
    possible senario.)  They now feel that more bone fragments are
    loosening and acting like little razor blades causing the bleeding.
    
    The fever is another mystery, however, he was scheduled for more
    cultures, etc., today to find the cause of that.  My husband and I had
    a talk with the doctor explaining that some of the nurses keep Tommy
    VERY sedated while others seem to let him wake up and suffer much more
    than necessary.  He agreed that term 'comfortable' means different
    things to different nurses.  When I explained to him what Tommy looked
    like when I came into his room, he did agree that he should not be in
    such discomfort and would explain to the nurses what he means by
    comfortable.  (What a relief!)
    
    Tommy was scheduled for surgery today to repair his broken neck, and to
    inser the tracheotomy.  This has been postponed since he is so sick
    again.
    
    The good news is that his kidneys are continuing to function.  They are
    not doing what they should, however, he has not had dialysis since a
    week ago tomorrow!  I'm still hanging on to that bit of goodness.
    
    The bleeding is a HUGE concern at this point and a step back for Tommy. 
    He is receiving between 3-5 units of blood a day.  He's so sick.  We
    arrived home in the wee hours of the morning, but, I just can't seem to
    drag myself away when things take such a turn.  It baffles me to see a
    human body go through so much and continue struggling against all odds
    to stay alive.  What a strong instinct!!  I know I'm rambling on,
    however, I think I'm a little overtired from yesterday's fiasco.  My
    God it's been almost 7 weeks now, I can't wait for a BIG turn in a
    positive direction.
    
    Once again, my friends, thank you for your support and prayers!!
    
    Estelle

Estelle, sending warm hugs and love to you and all of yours and especially to
Tommy.

This was the first of your postings that got me mad.  I hope your conversations
with the doc will have a positive result for Tommy's comfort, and that he will
get consistent care from his nurses.

Side note -- does Tommy need blood?  the phone book lists you in MK.  That's not
horribly far.  I'm O+ (universal donor).  I hope he doesn't need transfusions,
with everything else he has going on, but I can donate and designate my blood
for him, I think, if he needs it.

sending all my E hugs to you and Tommy -- 

	Sara

    	Estelle works in MK but Tommy's in Worcester, MA.
    
    	Scott

    Tommy still has my prayers, my love, and my tears when I readwhat you
    tell us of him. Everyday you and he are in my thoughts. I wish nothing
    but the best for you all. Please, please let him recover and return to
    his healthy life. I'm glad you talked with the doctors and they are
    going to talk with the nurses. I thank the creator for the fact that
    his kidneys are working again. 
    
    All my hopes, love and light for you,
    
    PJ

    Re - .83
    
    Sara:
    
    Thank you so much for your offer, however, Tommy has received LOTS of
    blood in the past 6-1/2 weeks.  Over 50 units so far, and I think I
    lost count of some days here and there.  My buddy, Dr. Rourke,
    explained to us last night that none of the blood in his body is his. 
    It is not unusual for someone who has received as much blood as he has
    to require 1-2 units a day.  I'm not exactly sure of everything he said
    but it has something to do with the way the bone marrow manufactures
    blood after it receives so much.  In a way the body rejects some of the
    new blood and it takes awhile for it to adjust to all this new liquid.
    
    Its all VERY confusing sometimes, but, I ask and ask and ask till I
    think I've got it and then well . . .  old age takes over I guess.  Dr.
    Rourke was so sweet last night, he even drew a picture to show me where
    he thought the internal bleeding was coming from, just so that I would
    not feel so frustrated in trying to comprehend all this.  I really like
    him.  (He's cute too!  Another plus!)  He doesn't insult my
    intelligence by giving me ridiculous answers.  
    
    Again, Sara, thank you for your offer, however, I think we must
    continue the process as is, but, I'll mention it to the doctor and see
    what he says.  They never approached us to give blood to Tommy and I
    wondered why, but, now I see why.  I did question about AIDS and they
    told me there are just no guarantees.  The blood is tested by the Red
    Cross, plus the hospital re-tests it themselves and hopefully its safe.
    
    You guys are just GREAT!  I could never hold on as well as I do without
    your help and support.  I never mentioned this before, but, when I'm
    praying for Tommy at his bedside, I also pray for my notes friends so
    that they continue to help me out and that they NEVER experience this
    in their lives!
    
    God Bless!
    
    Estelle
    

    Estelle,
      You and Tommy have been and continue to be in my prayers daily.  I'm
    glad you were able to get the doctor to work on a more continuous
    comfort level for Tommy, and it's great news that his kidneys are still
    functioning.  Please take care of yourself - I'm sending all my hugs
    your way!
    
      -HA

    Estelle,
    
    I had no idea he was using so much blood.  I too volunteer to donate
    if necessary.  I am O+ and a frequent Red Cross donor.  I live near
    enough to Worcester that it's not a problem to go there.
        
    My prayers are with Tommy and you and your extended family.  He
    may not need my blod, but I'm sure the prayers help.
    
       Margaret

    HI Estelle,
    
    I have a question.  How can the nurses be doing different things for
    Tommy at different times IF the doctors are writing down on his chart
    Just what they are suppose to do????  I have a hard time handling
    this...  
    
    Most of the time I only read this file, and I have been following
    Tommy's path on his recovery.  I fine myself thinking of him and your
    family and fine that I am putting him in my prays.  I hope and pray
    that things keep going up, that the hospital pulls together to make him
    more confortable and that you and the rest of the family have the
    chance to see change for the better real soon.
    
    Prays/Hugs/Warm thoughts
    Helena

    Update.
    
    re: .89, Helena, I've wondered the same thing about the medication. 
    However, after speaking with the doctor the other night (and I will
    check this out further) every person needs a different dosage in order
    to keep them comfortable.  Trauma patients are so unstable that the
    amount of medication needed to keep them comfortable changes not only
    day by day, but shift by shift.  The nurses are 'TOP NOTCH' and are left
    to their discretion as to 'how much' is needed on any given day to keep
    the patients comfortable.  After I thought about this and compared
    (mentally) these nurses with the ones that have taken care of my Dad
    (who has cancer) I realized that this is no 'ordinary' hospital care
    that he is getting.  And these are NOT ORDINARY nurses.  I've been to
    several hospitals in Boston, Mary Hitchcock in Henniker in NH (leading
    cancer specialists throughout the country) a few in NY and I've NEVER
    seen such dedicated and professional care as what Tommy is receiving.
    I'm more than comfortable with the general care.  Wednesday was the
    first time I panicked, but, we made it known that we were not pleased.
    
    However, Tommy went to surgery last night and they finally inserted the
    tracheotomy!  THANK GOD!  Now they'll be able to remove the tubes
    from his mouth (he has so many sores in and around his mouth) and maybe
    this will give him at least a tiny amount of relief!  We will be going
    to the hospital tonight to see how he is doing.  Yesterday morning they
    had to increase the amount of oxygen that he's receiving since he was
    having a difficult time trying to grasp air on his own.  However, I'm
    thankful that the kidneys are still operating and they have not had to
    give him dialysis in a FULL WEEK!  Maybe that's the only thing positive
    I have right now, but its something!  
    
    Maybe I'll better new on Monday!
    
    Have a wonderful week end all!
    
    Love & prayers,
    
    Estelle
    
    

    Love & Prayers to YOU, Estelle!
    
    I have a sister who was critically injured (hit by a drunk driver while 
    changing a flat.) Her boyfriend was killed instantly. She spent only 6
    weeks at U-mass, & a few months at a rehab center. I can honestly say
    that Tommy is in the BEST hands! Those doctors are so dedicated! They
    work 24 hours on, 24 hours off, & they switch off back & forth. At
    least that's how they did it when she was in there.
    
    You DO get to know other people you meet in the waiting rooms, & some-
    times you wonder what happened when they stop coming in. It's a comfort
    to know you're not alone, but heartbreaking to see!
    
    I'll never forget the funniest thing my sister did while she was in
    there. Once she was alert enough to try & talk, (& she's a LOUD one)
    she realized that the trech was keeping the sound from coming out when
    she spoke. One day she was in real pain (headache, she had a halo too)
    and the nurses were really busy. Well, Debbie put her thumb over the
    trech & yelled to the nurse..."GET YOUR ASS BACK HERE & GIVE ME
    SOMETHING!" Those were her first words!!! Boy did that nurse have a 
    shocked look on her face!!! We couldn't shut her up after that!!
    
    I'll say a prayer for Tommy, you stay strong!
    
    Bonnie

Estelle, many many warm hugs for the weekend.  Hope to hear more good news on
Monday!

Sara

    Update.
    
    Good Morning Noters!  Tommy had a rough week end, however, he's holding
    his own.  He might need dialysis today, eventhough the kidneys have
    begun functioning, the quality and amount is still borderline.  I still
    feel that he made progress in this direction.  Fever was up to 103.8
    again yesterday, the hemotoma (sp?) on his back & left side looks just
    horrendous and the skin above and around the area is as hard as a rock. 
    This surprised me yesterday.  I asked what that was all about and the
    nurse said she wasn't sure.  My husband and I are going to go down
    together one afternoon this week to see Dr. Fink and try to get a few
    more answers.
    
    Wish I had better news to report.  But this is going so S L O W L Y! 
    They had him completely out when we went.  They put the trach in on
    Thursday, and he was chocking quite a bit yesterday.  To be honest, he 
    just didn't look good yesterday.  We're beginning to be able to tell when 
    he's comfortable and when he's in pain.  At least I think we are.
    
    My husband cried a lot yesterday, he just couldn't handle it very well. 
    he started to cry in church and when we got to the hospital he broke
    down again.  It is difficult to look at Tommy sometimes, especially
    with all the apparatus sticking in and out of his body.  There's only
    the left hand that we can hold everything else has one thing or another
    in or on it.  I try to give him as much support as I can, but it just 
    doesn't seem to help.  I try to look at all his gadgets as a 'means' for
    him to get well.  Which is exactly what it is, however, I concentrate
    real hard on that before I walk in and then it isn't all so
    overwhelming.   My husband doesn't seem to be able to do that. 
    Consequently, I stay and talk to Tommy and Tom goes to the waiting
    room.  Such is life, hugh?
    
    Well it's Monday morning and we have a NEW week to face.  This week
    could be better than last, and what the heck, today is all we all have,
    so might as well make the best of it!  I'm willing.  If I have any
    other news, one way or the another, I'll do my best to keep you posted. 
    
    As usual, thank you for your support and concern.  You really are my
    lifeline!
    
    God Bless!
    
    Estelle
      

    	Estelle,
    
    	As I mentioned some time ago, it's gonna take a long time
    	for Tom to get well.
    
    	A lot of us are prayering daily for Tom and we want you to
    	feel our strength and support.
    
    	It is real tough to have to sit by and feel useless. Just think
    	how good Tom will feel, though,  when he's wide awake and sees
    	you and your husband. That should make him feel better.
    
    	Scott

    HUGS ...enough for the whole week, Estelle!
    
    Bonnie

hang on, hang in there, hugs'a'coming!

hugs for Estelle

Sara

    
    
    Has anyone heard from Estelle? 
    
    Estelle:
    
    If you're out there, I just wanted to let you know I am thinking about
    you!
    
    
    Jackie
    

    	Yes, I heard from her yesterday morning. Here's a brief update:
    
    		Tom is better
    		Fever is down
    		Hematoma looks good
    		Had not received blood in last 24 hours
    	
    	Scott

wow!  that's a lot better!  

hugs, hop on over to Tommy...

    I'm going to Worcester's red cross to give blood tonight - they called
    me last night and said they had a rush on blood lately.  Maybe anybody
    else who's interested can call them and see if any more is needed (like
    it's not always needed) or make an appointment if they wish....
    
    Hugs for Tommy
    
    -Jody
    
    p.s.  This sounds really silly, I'm sure, but I had this impression of
    Tommy attending the 5th anniversary party, whether walking in or in a
    wheelchair, and us all sharing his triumph.  I know this is optimistic
    and I have absolutely no right to be so optimistic, but it was a dream
    that flitted through my mind.  I'm still beaming positive vibes and
    prayers out your way, Estelle!
    

    what a beautiful, beautiful thing to feel
    
    

    Update
    
    Re: .100 WOW!  Funny you should have that dream.  The other night,
    Tuesday I believe, Tommy's two best friends brought his truck to our
    house (landlord needed it off the property etc.) and the next morning
    when I got up and looked out the window, I thought, "Tommy slept over
    last night!"  Then it dawned on me!  It wasn't a sad feeling.  It felt
    good to feel a rush of good excitement over Tommy.  Then when it hit me
    that he wasn't at the house I just felt kind of mellow, a little sad,
    but it was the first time since March 17 that I had a normal thought
    about him.  Not a sad and morbid one.  Know what I mean?
    
    YES Tommy did have a GOOD week this week.  Temperature has been down
    since Tuesday!  Yesterday it was 100.4!!!!!!!!!!  GREAT!  They did NOT
    have to bring him back to surgery on Wednesday to clean out the
    hemotoma again.  It's looking GOOD!  They've had to keep the ventilator
    up because he's not breathing on his own too well, but, that's ok. 
    He seemed more comfortable last night and his color was good too.  And
    he HAS NOT received blood since Tuesday!  WOW!  Maybe he knows it's
    Mother's Day Sunday and wants to give me a present?  
    
    By the way, I took my Mother's Ring and gave it to my husband the other
    day.  For Mother's Day I asked him to have Tommy's birthstone added to
    it.  I had received this ring for Christmas from my three bio-children,
    however, I strongly feel (especially since the accident) that he is
    'truly' one of mine, therefore, this will add another bond between us.
    Might be a good Mother's Day after all!
    
    I feel more optomistic than I have since the beginning of all this
    hell.  Now just 3-4 more surgeries and maybe they'll actually tell me
    that he's "out of the woods"!!!!!!!!  Now that will be a day to
    celebrate!  Champagne for EVERYONE!
    
    Thank you again, for your concern, prayers & support!  Where would I be
    without all of you?
    
    GOD BLESS MY NOTES-FRIENDS!
    
    Estelle
      

    
    Estelle - that's WONDERFUL news!
    
    Hugs and prayers still,
    'gail

    How wonderful it is to hear good news from you Estelle! You really
    sound GREAT!! I'm glad that things are taking a turn in a positive
    direction!!!
    
    I'm thinking of you & saying prayers, too!
    
    Bonnie

    Great news Estelle!  I'm so happy to hear Tommy seems to be improving!
    And his temp is now down to 100.4!  That's pretty good!  Here are a
    couple of hugs to keep you going.
    
    HUG!!!!   HUG!!!!!  HUG!!!!!   HUG!!!!!  HUG!!!! HUG!!!!!!!!  HUG!!!!!!
    
    (OK, so it's more than a couple!)
    
        -HA

wonderful news -- hooray!!!!  

    As always Estelle. You and Tommy are in my thoughts and prayers. I hope
    your Mother's Day is happy for you. Bless you for keeping us informed
    about Tommy. 
    
    Love and Light,
    
    PJ

    GREAT NEWS!!!!!
    
    Hugs, Wishes and Prayers are coming your WAY!
    
    
    Jackie
    

    (After the weekend) Update:
    
    Everything is about the same as last Friday.  His kidneys are still
    functioning (minimum & quality is not great) but, I'll take anything I
    can get that's even semi-positive, only needed 1 unit of blood on
    Friday, and he was more comfortable when they increased his ventilator.
    
    My Mother-in-law is coming from Long Island tomorrow to see him.  We've
    tried to hold her off till he was at least out of the Trauma Unit and
    at least semi-conscious, however, she's had it with the waiting and is
    now coming down.  I'm concerned for her.  She's 73 and Tommy was always
    her favorite.  She's a VERY nervous person and will really be shocked
    upon seeing him.  It is difficult especially the first visit.  I've
    tried my best to prepare her, however, in the words of my 19 year old,
    "Mom there's nothing you can say that can clearly describe him in order
    to fully prepare anyone."  I don't want this to unnerve her.  I wish I 
    could take the pain away from them all.  Unrealistic hugh? 
    
    I'll probably have more news for you all after tomorrow!  Take care,
    and as usual, THANK YOU FOR YOUR CONCERN & 'SUPPORT'!
    
    God Bless,
    
    Estelle
    

Estelle, thanks for letting us know about Tommy's weekend.  I have to tell you,
my concern for you is one of the things that has kept me here when I've been 
p.o.'d at some of the strings here... and this morning, paging through all the
new notes, I kept waiting for this one to pop up -- I really care, and think of
you and Tommy every day.  Much love and many hugs -- Sara

    	Estelle,
    
    	Thanks for the update.
    
    	I kept wondering over the weekend (no terminal at home)
    	how Tom was doing.
    
    	Continued prayers for the family and Tom,
    
    	Scott

    Glad to hear things are still looking up!
    
    I went to a Mothers Day Mass yesterday & said a prayer for both you &
    Tommy. I hope your mother in law handles things well, but you'll be 
    there for her, and she'll need you.
    
    I'll be thinking of you & praying, Estelle!
    
    Hugs,
    Bonnie Lou

    Estelle:
    
    Just wanted to let you know you are in my thoughts and that prayers are
    still coming at ya...from Illinois!
    
    Hope your Mom-in-Law is okay.....and I hope you aren't having too rough
    of a time!
    
    
    Jackie
    

    Update!
    
    Sara, Scott, Boonie Lou & Jackie THANK YOU for your prayers and good
    wishes!  They sure came in handy yesterday!
    
    I thought of all my notefriends yesterday while I was at the hospital with
    my mother-in-law, husband, and brother-in-law.  I was trying to draw
    strength from all the prayers and support that I've received over the
    past 8-1/2 weeks.  Then I did my best to prepare my mother-in-law, however,
    she wasn't listening very well.  Let me start at the beginning.
    
    We heard Monday evening that Tommy had to go back to surgery at 7:30
    a.m. on Tuesday in order to have the hematoma cleaned again.  We called
    the New York relatives and informed them not to rush since the
    procedure was to take between 2-1/2 and 3-1/2 hours.  So we all met at
    the hospital at 11:30 a.m.  Tommy had just gotten back to his room and
    his nurse told us it would be awhile before we could get in to see him. 
    We went for lunch.  When we got back the nurse let us (mother-in-law
    and I, men were parking the car) in.  I warned her again, then grabed
    her by the waist when we walked in.  She was shocked and admitted
    (later of course) that she thought I was just exaggerating a bit.  
    Oh well. 
    
    All in all the day went quite well.  She is 73 and VERY independent and
    speaks her mind whether you want to hear it or not.  (Cantankerous? 
    Guess I'll be that way when I'm her age too.)  We settled them into a
    very nice Sheraton in Worcester, had supper together and then went back
    to the hospital to see Tommy.  We finally arrived at home at 9:30 p.m. 
    Both of us really exhausted.
    
    Tommy did look well considering they took him into surgery all day.  He
    lost VERY little blood during the procedure, less than a unit, however, 
    they had to give him 10 units of blood during the course of the day.  
    (Have not yet heard about last night.)  His blood pressure is VERY, VERY 
    low and they're giving him medication to try and bring it back up.  Around
    3:30 in the afternoon they inserted the tube into his stomach (finally) and
    now for the first time in 8-1/2 weeks HE HAS ABSOLUTELY 'NO' TUBES IN HIS
    MOUTH!  God that makes me happy!  His fever went up yesterday during
    surgery, however, they said that was expected.  The one thing that
    really shocked me (and I do mean REALLY) was when I asked details about
    the hemotoma!  (I should have kept my mouth shut!)  The nurse proceeded
    to explain that he has NEVER seen one so huge.  He said the 'hole'
    (which is located in his back and comes around to his left hip) is so
    large that he can put his arm in it up to his elbow!  I tried to act
    composed, but, I'm sure my face fell to the floor.  I was shocked! 
    Then I really went dumb and asked him if I could stay in the room the
    next time the surgeons come in to change the bandage (the surgeons do
    this twice a day for Tommy).  He said he would check with them then
    asked me why.  I really feel that the more I know about EVERYTHING he's
    going thru the better armed I'll be when he comes home to understand
    and help him get back on his feet.  Maybe I'm all wet, however,
    instinct is all I have to go on with all these medical procedures I'm
    dealing with.
    
    I didn't mean to rambel on so.  I apologize.  The day just went better
    than I expected and only because of all the support and prayers that
    I'm receiving from EVERYONE!  I truly feel lucky in this respect. 
    Many, many family members who's loved ones have passed thru this Trauma 
    Unit have not been so lucky.  Thank You for being there for me!
    
    God Bless!
    
    Estelle  
    

    Wow...!  Estelle, you are a *really* strong person.  My prayers are
    with you and your family.
    
    -jc

    
    Estelle,
    
    I haven't replied here before but have bee following Tommy's progress. 
    I'd just like to add my prayers and support to the ones you've received
    so far.  I think it's amazing how you're coping, and (the words don't
    seem strong enough somehow but) I really, really hope that Tommy
    recovers fully from this terrible ordeal.
    
    Sam
    

    Also from the UK some wee tartan terrors to snugglehug you all,
    especially Tommy.  And a breath of fresh Heelan air to keep you
    strong.
    
                                                   
    Tracy W
    
    

    Glad things are going better, I hope its all up hill now.  If he is
    getting any of your strength he is going to keep climping that hill.
    
    I pray for you and your family and special hugs to you and Tommy.
    
    Cheers
    Helena

    As always, Estelle, prayers for Tommy and you and your entire family.
    Glad to hear about the tubes being gone. Again, it's hard for me to put
    into words what we all feel for you and your whole family. Love is not
    enough to describe it. Love, coupled with hope and a sharing of
    strength comes as close as I can. Whatever it is, you have from me as
    much as you need for as long as you need it.
    
    Love and Light,
    
    PJ

    Estelle,
    
    You're a WONDERFUL MOM!!! I can't say I'd be able to be as strong as
    you are being! Thanks for keeping us up to date, More prayers & hugs,
    comin' at ya!! I'm sure Tommy appreciates all you've done for him!!
    
    Hugs,
    Bonnie Lou

    ((((<<<<Estelle>>>>))))

    Dear Estelle,
    
    I'm from New Mexico and I have not responded before, but I have 
    been following daily Tommy's progress and my HEART goes out to you  
    and your family. I, too, had a very sick stepdaughter who had 
    hepititis and we lost her about six months ago, but we did not have
    the bonding that you and your stepson seem to have.  I cared so
    much for her and I brought her home to take care of her, but she 
    resented me.  Anyhow, I just want to say that I know this is a
    very difficult time and just continue your strong FAITH in HIM.
    
    You certainly have my support plus many, many other folks who have
    responded.
    
    God Bless,
    
    Julia from Albuquerque 

Estelle,
	You're terriffic!  You are such a strong person.  Tommy must be special
to have such a special mom.

	I remember when I took my son to the emergency room after he went
over the handlebars of his dirt bike I asked to be with him when they stitched
him up.  They told me that they were concerned that I might pass out and become
another patient.  I was able to assure them that I knew I would not.  They did
let me stay with my son and hold his hand and talk to him.  I knew at that 
time that I had to be there for him.  I know that I do much better when I know
what is going on.

	You, Tommy and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.  I hope
everything goes well.  

	Please deliver these gentle hugs gently to Tommy

			{..}  {..}  {..}  {..}  {..}

Martha

    
    
    	Estelle,
    
    	Like a couple others here, this is my first reply to this
    	string.  I have too, however, been reading every update
    	of Tommy's progress.  My thoughts and prayers are with
    	you and your family.  You are such a wonderful and caring
    	human being and Tommy is so lucky to have you as a mom.
    	
    
    	Best wishes,
    
    	JJ
    

    Update:
    
    The hospital called at 2:30 a.m. today.  Talk about being able to jump
    out of bed and run downstairs like a gazelle in order to 'get the
    phone'!  And I thought only my teenagers could 'get that phone in one
    ring!'  Ha!    Well anyway, Tommy was bleeding from the hematoma quite
    heavily and they needed to return him to surgery.  To make a long night
    short, (yes I did do that on purpose), they found a ruptured blood
    vessel and had to tie it off.  His temp has been up for the past couple
    days, and they've had to give him 18 units of blood since early last
    night.  That in itself worries me almost more than anything else.
    
    By the way, I did check with the hospital and they would only take
    donated blood and freeze for future use.  They cannot guarantee that
    Tommy would get it.  (Thank you anyway!)  They do encourage that
    healthy donors do so at the Red Cross.
    
    I have no more details.  I'll definitely write when I do. 
    
    God Bless,
    
    Estelle
    

I was just thinking of you and Tommy, Estelle.  I hope your weekend is calm and
not exciting like last night.  Many hugs -- Sara

    Estelle:
    
    It's a long way to Monday, so I wanted you to know that my prayers and
    hugs are timed released so you get them all weekend!
    
    
    Jackie
    

    
    Estelle, I haven't written before, but I've been following
    Tommy's progress - please, hang in there!  Everyone's rooting
    for you and Tommy.
    

Good morning, Estelle, I hope you had good news this weekend.  Thinking of you -
	Sara

    UPDATE
    
    Tommy had a comfortable week end.  The KIDNEYS ARE FUNCTIONING
    BEAUTIFULLY!  They've improved quantity and quality EVERY DAY!  Phew! 
    One small hurdle behind us!!  Not much improvement on the hematoma,
    but, one step at a time.  The fever is a little higher than we like it
    and they're letting him kind of 'wake up' more.  Just a little less
    morphine in order to see him open his eyes.  He does no more than that,
    but, that's ok with me.  When he opens them and realizes that his dad
    and I are there, he cries.  So I've been drying his tears and telling
    him to 'knock it off' otherwise I'll start crying.
    
    From what we've been told they should start doing the extensive surgery
    very soon.  Oh, I almost forgot, they might NOT HAVE TO operate on his
    neck!!!  The halo seems to be doing what they wanted to see done.  So
    that would mean only 3 large sugical procedures instead of 4!  Sounds
    good to me.  
    
    I must confess that I did not go to the hospital at all this week end. 
    Saturday I cleaned and picked up all day, was sick as a dog all night,
    and EVERONE was out yesterday doing 'their thing', Sunday, so when my 
    husband left to go to the hospital I played hookey and stayed home, 
    laid out on the deck and caught a few rays!  Gosh did it feel good!  
    What a gorgeous day!  Cooked a big supper for everyone and then watched a
    movie.  Good relaxing day!  Feel stronger and better than I have in
    weeks!  
    
    That is all the news I have about Tommy.  He's stable, holding his own
    and getting stronger and stronger so he can go through the necessary
    surgeries in order to 'put him back together'.
    
    Thank you ALL FOR YOUR SUPPORT!  I've never could have done all this
    without you ALL!!
    
    God Bless!
    
    Estelle
    

    Oh Estelle,
      That is good news about the halo - It would be wonderful if they
    didn't have to do the extra surgery.  Every little bit helps!  Glad
    to hear you had a nice weekend, you certainly were due for one! Take
    care of yourself, we're all thinking of you!
    
      -HA

Estelle,

Terrific news - sounds like a great weekend!  Have not entered note here for
a while, but I have been keeping up.

Your spirit is a tremendous part of Tommy's recovery...many HUGSHUGSHUGS 
to you.

Barb

    	I was out cycling Saturday and thought of Tommy. Such
    	a beautiful day and such beautiful weather lately. It'll
    	be nice when he can enjoy it with the rest of us.
    
    	Scott

    Estelle:
    
    Glad you took some time for YOURSELF!  Everyone needs that once in a
    while.  It makes your attitude better and that in turn will work on
    Tommy!  
    
    What a lucky boy he is to have you on his side!
    
    Still keeping my prayers coming your way!
    
    Jackie
    

    Estelle,
    
    Brilliant news, I am delighted to hear that Tommy is improving all the 
    time.   
    
    I will keep praying for his continual improvement and for you and your
    family.
    
    
    Bernie
    
    

    Estelle,
    
    I do not know what your religion is but, something I recall when I face 
    difficult times is a saying from the bible by Simon Peter (that would
    be a translation from my language-Portuguese): he said that to 
    eternity 3 days are worth 3 centuries and 3 centuries are worth 3 days.
    It may seems obvious but makes me feel good. That is, one day, in the
    future, you may be able to look back and see that after all you are
    alright and what once seemed unbearable became a memory. Bad times
    indeed but you managed to get along. And you - you, Tommy and all your
    family - will be back to everyday ordinary life. 
    
    I hope I made myself understood and this concept may be of help.
    
    I send my love and concern to you.
    
    L�cia
    

    UPDATE:
    
    Went to the hospital yesterday, Tommy had gone back to surgery to have
    the wound on his backside cleaned out again.  Well the surgeons are
    VERY pleased with the way he is healing and told us that he may not
    have to go back and have it cleaned again for a few weeks!  (To date
    they've brought him to surgery 6 times for this hematoma alone!)  
    
    Tommy's coloring was VERY good, he had absolutely NO temp, the kidneys
    are REALLY working now, he was shivering like crazy but that's a
    reaction he gets from the anesthesia.  All in all I had a good visit
    with him.  
    
    NOW FOR THE GREAT NEWS!  They have to let him wake up a little from the
    anesthesia before they can administer the morphine.  I was talking up a
    storm with him and trying to help him relax and stop shivering.  WEll,
    the nurse left the room and I noticed his eyes were open just a sliver. 
    I was kidding around and said, "She's gone Tommy you can bitch now". 
    He smiled taped my hand several times and said, "My father, my father." 
    I couldn't believe it.  I explained to him that his dad and I come
    separately now, but, that he would be in to see him very soon.  THIS
    WAS THE FIRST TIME TOMMY HAS SAID 'SOMETHING' TO ANYONE SINCE MARCH 20!
    
    Needless to say, I'm on Cloud 9 today!  To me this was a big step
    forward.  When I left him, he had stopped shivering and was sleeping
    comfortably.  I know there are MANY setbacks to come, but my goodness
    yesterday felt like a GIANT step forward.  Now to get the remaining
    surgeries done and over with and concentrate only on steps forward!
    
    He really looked good to me yesterday, even after having spent 3 hours
    in surgery.  I was so anxious to come in this morning and share some
    GREAT news with all my notesfriends.  I guess my philosophy during this
    entire deal of "One Day at a Time" is working, at least for me it is.
    
    God Bless!
    
    Estelle
    

    Yay!  Yeek!  Hugs!  Joy!
    
    -Jody
    

    	Hey, this IS good news!
    
    	Scott

Estelle that's WONDERFUL!!!!!  Words can't say it enough!

I'd've cried my eyes out when he spoke.  Tommy has a lot of people pulling for
him.  I'm really happy to hear all this good news -- many hugs to your whole
family -

Sara

    :-)  :-)  Estelle, Lets hope you can't keep him quiet now.... :-)
    
    Thanks for the good news to start my day off with a smile....
    
    The best to you,Tommy and your family...
    
    I bet dad smiled from ear to ear......
    
    Helena

Estelle,
	
	That's wonderful news about Tommy.  I can feel the excitement in your
telling of this news.

	I will keep Tommy,you and your family in my thoughts and prayers.

Martha

    Estelle,
      That's wonderful news!!  I got teary just reading it!  YAH Tommy!!!
    Many hugs and warm thoughts.
    
      -HA

    
    Estelle,
    
    A giant step indeed! I'm so happy for you and your family....
    It must have been wonderful to hear his voice again :-)
    
    'gail

    
    	Oh, how I love great news like that!
    
    	JJ
    

    
    Happy days are on the way.  Just keep your faith and the strength of
    our group prayers will continue to bring great power to Tommy's aid.
    
    I am happy for you and Tommy,
    
    Lincoln Williams from Chicago
    I think Umas does a wonderful job!
    

    
    
    Hooray!  Yippeeee!   Mega hugs!
    
    
    -Dotti.

    
    
    I just got to read your note andd it sent shivers up and down!
    
    What Great News!  Has you husband talked to him?  I'll bet he was so
    happy he could have just spit!
    
    Stronger Prayers and Good Wishes are coming towards you!
    
    
    jackie
    

    
    Its so WONDERFUL to share this good news and have such equally
    WONDERFUL responses!  It's made my day.  So much so that I'm truly
    exhausted from 'good tension'.  
    
    Just to let you all know, and this by NO MEANS dampens the news, Tommy
    does not have a voice due to the trach.  I'm sure in time he'll learn
    how to use it so he can have a voice, but, until then I'll just brush
    up on my lip reading.  (Always wanted to learn that anyways!)  
    
    You people are so wonderful to have to talk to!  THANKS for being here
    for Tommy and I !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 
    
    God Bless,
    
    Estelle
     

    UPDATE!!
    
    MORE GOOD NEWS!!  MORE GOOD NEWS!!  MORE GOOD NEWS!!
    In the past couple of days the nurses have been able to drastically
    reduce the amount of morphine Tommy has been getting.  They indicated
    that it seems his body just doesn't need it anymore and have started to
    give him anti-depressants to combat the depression.
    
    When my husband went to see him last night, he was awake!!, Diane (his
    friend was there also) and he communicated with them by squeezing their
    hands and mouthing words!!!!  His eyes open, however, he doesn't look
    at anything, he just stares into space.  But that will change with
    time!  I'M SO ELATED!!  The nurses told my husband that he's being very
    good, very cooperative and that the new anti-depressant medication
    seems to have helped him a great deal.  My husband told me that he was
    on one side of the bed and Diane on the other, each of them held one of
    Tommy's hand and he would squeeze the hand of the person asking a
    question to respond!!  When they said they had to go, my husband said
    he really grabbed onto them and mouthed "Don't go, not yet!"  
    
    When the nurse went to give him a shot, he once again said "no, not
    yet"!  Such BIG PROGRESS this week alone!!  
    
    I'M ON CLOUD NINE!
    
    I truly believe that Tommy is doing so well due to all the prayer
    groups that have him on their list.  I can't tell you how many people
    have told me that they have included 'Tommy' in their church prayer
    groups, or they know of someone who belonged to one and called them to
    have Tommy added to their lists.  It is just unbelievable!  I used to
    be so skeptical of some of these things, however, now I HAVE LIVING
    PROOF!!!!!  Thank God, LIVING PROOF!!
    
    I hope you all have a GREAT a week end as I know I'm going to have.  My
    husband and I are going camping Saturday, coming home Sunday, with some
    dear friends who have helped us through this horror show.  It took them
    weeks to convince us to go, and now I know we can go with some sense of
    relief.  (They even bought a phone so we can call the hospital
    anytime!)  Great friends, hugh?
    
    HAVE A WONDERFUL WEEK END ALL!!  (And drive safely!!)
    
    God Bless
    
    Estelle  

    That's great news, Estelle! I'm really happy for you.
    
    Enjoy your camping trip---you deserve it.
    
    I'm not a prayer, but I'll continue to send positive energy
    towards Tommy.
    
    	june

Estelle, that is just wonderful.  I am so happy for you!  all of you!

    
    Warm hugs to you Estelle - that is fabulous news....
    
    I'll be thinking of you both over the long weekend.
    'gail

Estelle,
	That is such wonderful news.  I am so glad to hear that Tommy is beginning
to communicate with people.  Also to hear that he is starting to choose how
long he can  hold off on the meds.

Here is a hand-hug Tommy,
Martha

    
    Estelle,
    
    	Just catching up on notes, but wanted you to know that I'm 
    thinking of you and Tommy and sending positive energy and the
    will of the Goddess to you both.
    
    
    Peace and Love to you and Tommy
    
    
    Debbi--from the other end of the state.
    
    p.s.  Lots of *hugs*, too!
    
    

    UPDATE
    
    Although my husband and I took the entire week end off, we did call the
    hospital twice a day to see how Tommy was doing and the best news we
    heard was that he is just about off the ventilator!!!!!!!!  He is
    breathing almost entirely on his own for the first time since March 17!
    Lots of positive signs in the past 8 days!  I will be going to the
    hospital tonight after work and I can't wait to see the improvement's'!
    
    It felt good to have a normal week end and to be able to enjoy some
    simple things without feeling guilty or fearful every time the phone
    rang.   However, back to reality now and we're both refreshed and
    ready.
    
    Hope you all had a good week end too!
    
    God Bless!!
    
    EStelle
    

    
    
    It's great to hear that you're taking some time out to relax and
    look after yourself in the midst of all this, Estelle....
    And to have such good news about Tommy as well is marvellous!
    
    Positive thoughts still regularly winging over the Atlantic for you ...
    Plus the odd hug-with-wings :-)
    
    'gail

    	Taking him off the ventilator is a real step in the right
    	direction. Tommy's body is starting to really function again.
    
    	Great news for all of us.
    
    	Scott

    GREAT NEWS, Estelle!
    
    Glad you could get some time off for yourself.
    
    Tell Tommy we are ALL praying for him!
    
    Jackie
    

    UPDATE!!   UPDATE!!   UPDATE!!
    
    Tommy had 1/2 of a popsicle yesterday!!!!!!  He LOVED it too!!  Acted
    like a 3 year old, slurping all over the place!!  First time he's eaten
    anything since March 17!!  The nurses are thrilled (but not as much as
    I am) over his progress these past 8-9 days.  
    
    Please keep those prayers and 'good vibrations' coming!!  We have a
    long haul to go, however, I truly feel we're going to make it!!!!!!
    
    God Bless!
    
    Estelle
    

    Great news Estelle!!!  Tommy's progress is truely amazing....I'm so
    glad he is doing so well.  Thanks for taking the time to keep us all
    updated - Many hugs and warm thoughts are winging their way to you and
    Tommy and your family.  Please take care.
    
      -HA

    Fantastic. Every time I hear these marvelous updates on Tommy's
    improving condition, I have trouble keeping the tears back. What a
    fabulous breakthrough. 
    
    As always You and Tommy and and your family are in my thoughts and
    prayers.
    
    Love and light and hugs,
    
    PJ

    
    	Truly wonderful news Estelle....!!
    
    	Positive thoughts on their way!
    
    	JJ
    

Estelle, that's fantastic!  Breathing and eating on his own!  WOW!

lots of love for you all -- Sara

    
    
    Who would have thought that what we consider an everyday occurance,
    like "breathing" and "eating" would be such FANTASTIC NEWS and excite
    so many CHEERS!!
    
    Medicine is truly remarkable!
    
    .....and so are you, Estelle!  What a great Mom Tommy has pulling for
    him!
    
    Jackie
    
    

    WOW!! I've been out for a while, Estelle!! I'm so happy to hear about
    all of this GREAT news!! MY, MY, how a week makes a difference! I sure
    hope things continue to move in a positive direction for Tommy!! Keep
    us posted!
    
    Warm thoughts,
    prayers,
    hugs,
    love,
    
    Bonnie Lou

Estelle,
	WOW!  That's great news.  These updates are getting exciting to
read about.  How wonderful.

Martha

    
    Estelle,  do you think Tommy is ready to start getting some get-well
    cards?  If so, would you post the address so we can start sending them?
    
    Glad to hear that he's making such wonderful progress!
    
    Justine

    Estelle:
    
    I suggested it before (cards) also, but maybe now is a more appropriate
    time.
    
    I agree with Justine.....what do you think?  I would love to start
    sending cards!~
    
    Jackie
    

    Estelle,
    
    Brilliant news, thanks bit to God.    It is wonderful to read of
    Tommy getting better with each passing day.  
    
    I will keep praying for his progress.    I was glad to read 
    you got away for a while last weekend, you need a break every so often
    to keep you strong.
    
    I agree with the last two replies about sending cards.   It is up to
    you Estelle, what do you think.
    
    
    
    Bernie

    UPDATE!
    
    I think cards would be great!!!  He is still in the Trauma Unit and will
    be for another 2 months (medical prediction) because he still has 3-4
    surgeries to go through.  However, there's more than one way to skin a
    cat.  If you don't mind sending them to me at my home, I'll bring them
    with me when I go visit him and read them to him.  GOD WOULD THAT CHEER
    HIM UP BIGTIME!!  I'm sure the nurses would love it too!
    
    Please forward to:
    
    Tommy Shields, Jr.
    c/o Estelle Shields
    9 Iris Drive
    Merrimack, NH  03054
    
    GOSH YOU PEOPLE ARE WONDERFUL!!!  It took me awhile to post my original
    note, not knowing what to expect or how all this would turn out. 
    However, I'm as pleased as punch over the results!!  Your ability to
    reach out to Tommy and I have been so stimulating and supportive!! 
    You'll NEVER know how much so!!
    
    God Bless YOU ALL!!
    
    Estelle
    

    Cheers,hugs and all that other good stuff to you and Tommy.  
    
    I'm so pleased to hear that he is doing better, and to hear the smile
    in your messages.  
    
    Helena
    

    Estelle:
    
    My card is on the way......I hope Tommy (You) get so many you can't
    read them all at one time!
    
    Hope all goes well his week end!
    
    Prayers are coming at ya!  
    
    Jackie

mine, too.  don't let him have them all at once, now -- strrreeeettttccchhhh out
the suspense!

hugs to Tommy

Sara

	Let's paper his hospital room with them!

	Sue

    Sara:  Great idea!
    
    Sue:   Great Idea!
    
    Hey, Estelle, you sure have some great people in this file!  Don't you
    think?
    
    Jackie
    

	Dear Estelle,

	I have been silently reading and sending positive and healing light
	to you and your family.. I just wanted you to know that you have
	been in my heart and thoughts, and I am so thrilled to hear the most
	recent update on Tommy!

	I guess the silence was foolish, but I feel I can breathe now too,
	and I wanted you to know that you probably have a larger and
	stronger energy force supporting you and your family than you can 
	imagine (I certainly can't be the only "silent one" ;-))!?!

	Congratulations, hugs and thoughts are continuing your way!!!


				..jlg

	

	

    Oh, *Estelle*!  
    
    Little dancing-mice hugs all over you!!!!!!!!!
    
    
    ....and little quiet, purring, occasionally giggling hugs for Tommy.
    
    ....and a whole bunch more for your whole family!
    
    
    
    
    E Grace

    UPDATE
    
    I certainly agree with Jackie, "I have tons of wonderful people in this
    notesfile".  And I certainly feel them all holding my family up!  This
    is what is helping me survive!
    
    I went to the hospital Friday night to see my favorite patient, Tommy. 
    His coloring gets better everyday!  He opened his eyes VERY wide and
    was actually looking straight at me!  His eyes were a medium blue, and
    now there actually an ICE BLUE!  Their beautiful.  I don't know if
    they'll stay that way, but I like the change.
    
    He goes into surgery tomorrow morning to finally close up the cavity
    left from the hemotoma.  The doctor told my husband that it is so large
    (this is on his hip and right backside) that he could put a small baby
    in it!  But they are very confident that it will heal well now.  I
    don't know how well, and I'm not sure if the skin and fat will come
    back, but only time will tell. 
    
    Tommy has a VERY long way to go, but we are encouraged to see the
    progress he's made in the past several weeks!  What a fighter!  I got
    him to smile Friday night, not for long, it was a quick one, but
    nonetheless, he smiled!  He tires so, so quickly.  Just a few words and
    he naps, then opens his eyes again for a few more words, and then naps
    again.  Amazing though that he's come this far at all.
    
    Well that is all I have for news.  We couldn't go back to the hospital
    yesterday, inevitable car troubles that had to be resolved.  I will be
    going tomorrow for sure so I can be there when he gets out of surgery.
    
    As usual, THANK YOU ALL FOR YOUR SUPPORT AND PRAYERS!!!
    
    God Bless,
    
    Love,
    
    Estelle
    
    

Estelle, I'm glad to hear you and Tommy had a good weekend ('cept for the
car trouble!) -- I was just about to check this note to see if you had posted
anything.  Do y'know, there aren't too many notes I know by number, this is
one of them!  and the only one in the 3-digits!

Funny, I can't seem to remember to get my neice's birthday package wrapped for
mailing, but Tommy's card went out Friday morning!

Hugs to you, your husband, your whole family, and especially to Tommy!

Sara

    Sara:
    
    I am like you, I can't remember a lot of things.  What helps 
    me is that I "mark" this file.  So when I want to get to "Tommy" quick 
    all I do is say - "read/mark tommy" and I am here!
    
    Estelle:
    
    Glad to hear they are finally closing up his hip and backside. 
    That would mean a lot less chance of infection setting into his body
    right?  That sure sounds like progress to me!
     
    How are his eyes today?  Why do you think they changed?
    
    I'll send some extra prayers your way and Tommy's way for the surgery. 
    Here they come:
    
    
           ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!
    
    Got 'em?     %^) 
    
    jackie
    

    	We're all thrilled at the news that continues to come
    	our way.
    
    	I got to spend the weekend in the Blue Ridge Mountains
    	in North Carolina and then to come back and continue to
    	hear good news about Tommy.
    
    	Continued prayers.
    
    	Scott

    UPDATE:
    
    Tommy will not be able to go to surgery today.  They found some more
    dead tissue in the cavity and want to wait a little while longer before
    closing it and increasing the risk of infection.  Oh well.  He has a
    fever again too which we expected but it was so nice to see him without
    it for the past 10 days or so.  These are just MINOR setbacks.  No big
    deal, but, just thought I'd keep you posted.
    
    Tomorrow will be better.  Still going to the hospital tonight, though.
    
    Keep the prayers coming!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    
    God Bless!
    
    Estelle
    

    Estelle:
    
    This was just a "tiny" set back ....... don't get depressed!  You know
    that there will be some of these little annoyances!  We'll just forget
    about them and push "Onward and Upward"!  Remember, I'm by your side
    even if you can't see me!
    
    And........remember the "Footprints" poem...I do believe in it.  
    
    ....and (on and on and on)  When My Dad was seriously ill, I just kept
    remembering :God only gives you as much as you can handle!
    
    	Hang in there Estelle!
    
    Love to you and yours
    
    Jackie
    

    Estelle:
    
    Are you okay?
    
    
    Jackie
    

    UPDATE:
    
    So sorry for not writing these past couple of days.  THANK YOU for the
    call PJ and alerting me that people thought I was depressed because of
    Tommy's set back the other day.  Actually I wasn't as upset about it as
    I used to be in the beginning.  I'm learning to adjust to this medical
    nightmare!  Funny how we can adjust to ANYTHING when we have to!!  Now
    back to Tommy.
    
    My husband and I went to see him Tuesday night after work, and he was
    not having such a great day.  He cried a lot.  He's so frustrated when
    I tell him I can't read his lips and don't understand him.  It must be
    terrible for him.  I kept wiping his tears and I told him that I just
    didn't want them to drip down into his ears and tickle him.  He just
    looked at me like I was crazy.  We stayed about 2 hours.  What an
    evening!  He still doesn't know that he's paralyzed from the waist
    down.  We finally spoke with Dr. Heard (nice looking medic!!) and asked
    him if there was any hope at all.  He said no and explained that the
    paralysis is caused by the multiple fractures in his spine.  
    
    The good news was that after they are able to close up the wound from
    the hemotoma, HE WILL BE ALL DONE WITH SURGERY!!  Dr. Heard said that
    because of the halo, pins in his arm and pelvic bone, he is healing
    fine and will not need further corrective surgery!!  Thank God!! 
    Depending on how he does when he has the wound closed, he should go to
    the Intermediate Care floor, then rehabilitation and then home.
    
    I don't mind admitting how frightened I am to take him home.  Tommy has
    always had a 'bad' attitude.  Chip on his shoulder type attitude.  You
    know, the whole world owed him a living.  God what will he think now? 
    I've been told over and over again that he can't go thru something like
    this and not change his attitude.  Sounds logical to me.  I guess I
    better take a dose of my own medicine, "One day at a time"!
    
    So there is quite a bit of good news here.  His eyes are still that ICE
    Blue, what a riot!  They are still giving him quite a dose of anti
    depressants (think I'll ask for some!!) and everyday he gets just a
    tiny bit stronger, and that's all I ask for right now.
    
    Thank you all, especially PJ, for your concern.  I'm not depressed,
    just trying to keep up with all the graduations, anniversaries, b'days,
    and overall summer projects that must get done!
    
    Oh, I almost forgot, I've begun to receive 'get well cards' for Tommy. 
    I'm going to bring some more with me tomorrow night.  I show him the
    cards and then read them to him.  I'm also putting them in an album
    with a few other things for his review when he feels up to it.  THANK
    YOU!  Great morale booster!!
    
    God Bless!
    
    Estelle
    
    

    UPDATE
    
    I had a conversation with Tommy's doctor(s) Thursday evening.  Of
    course as time goes on, and I begin to learn what the 'right' questions
    are, we find out things that we really didn't expect.  I don't have a
    firm confirmation at this point, but, from what I've been told by this
    particular physician, it doesn't look like Tommy will ever leave a
    hospital.  He is so damaged from the waist down, that they don't even
    think he'll ever be able to 'sit' in a wheelchair.  They seem to think
    that he'll be bedridden.  He is now in the 'Intermediate Care Unit'. 
    When he went to surgery on Friday to have the wound closed on his
    backside, (which they were unable to do, again, because they found more
    dead tissue) quite a few Trauma patients were admitted and Tommy was
    graduated to the Intermediate Care Unit.  We went down again yesterday
    to see him and from what I gathered, the care seems to be just as
    personalized as before.  The only difference that I could see was that
    he is now in a 4-bed ward unit.  We also saw (for the first time) the
    scar on this chest and stomach from the colostomy.  The nurse was
    changing the bandage when we walked in, and man oh man, were we shocked!
    I can't imagine what the backside must look like.  They always
    emphasize how large the wound is.  We had never heard a word about the
    scar on his chest.  I try to keep reminding myself that for these
    people it's all routine.  
    
    Guess I'm thicker skinned some days better than others.  Please keep
    the prayers coming, looks like we'll need them for quite some time.  
    
    There are some positive points; Tommy wakes up EVERY time we visit him. 
    He tries so hard to say things to us, and its so difficult to read his
    lips.  Some nurses are VERY good at it, but, we need more time I guess. 
    Can't think of any more improvement right now, but when I do, I'll
    write again.  
    
    The cards are still coming in!  I love it.  There are times when Tommy
    is very confused but he really seems to enjoy the cards!  Thank you for
    the idea!!
    
    As usual, your support and prayers are immeasurable!  Thank You so
    much!
    
    God Bless
    
    Estelle   

    every time I read a response like that I want to cringe and cheer at
    the same time.
    
    Yes it's hard, but he's alive.
    
    I hear you growing in new directions, directions of acceptance and new
    ways of seeing and coping with things.  It's amazing how malleable the
    human spirit is, particularly when faced with trauma and pain.  That
    goes for both you and Tommy.
    
    *hugs*
    
    -Jody
    

    Hugs Estelle, you and Tommy and your family are always in my thoughts
    and prayers.  Take care.
    
     -HA

HAMPHAMPHAMPHAMPHAMPHAMPHAMPHAMPHAMPHAMPHAMPHAMPHAMPHAMPHAMPHAMPHAMPHAMPHAMPHAMP
A                                                                              H
M     hug           hug                                                        A
P   hug hug        hug                                                         M
H   hug  hug      hug                                                          P
A    hug hug      hug                                                          H
M        hug      hug                                                          A
P        hug      hug                                                          M
H        hug      hug                                                          P
A        hug      hug                                                          H
M        hug      hug                                                          A
P        hughughughug                                                          M
H        hug      hug     hug   hug        hughug.                             P
A        hug      hug     hug   hug      hug    hug                            H
M        hug      hug     hug   hug     hug     hug                            A
P        hug      hug     hug   hug     hug     hug                            M
H        hug      hug     hug   hug    hug     hug                             P
A        hug      hug     hug   hug    hug     hug                             H
M       hug        hug    hug   hug   .hug     hug  hug                        A
P      hug          hughug   hug   hug  hughughughug                           M
H                                          hug...                              P
A                                         hug..                                H
M                                        hughug                                A
P                                       hug hug                                M
H                                      hug  hug                                P
A                                     hug   hug                                H
M                                     hug  hug                                 A
P                                      hughug                                  M
H                                       hug                                    P
A                                                                              H
M                                                                              A
P                                                                              M
HAMPHAMPHAMPHAMPHAMPHAMPHAMPHAMPHAMPHAMPHAMPHAMPHAMPHAMPHAMPHAMPHAMPHAMPHAMPHAMP

    
    Hello Estelle,
    
    I haven't written in this note before, but I have been following
    Tommy's progress and including Tommy, you and your family in
    my prayers and those of my church prayer group.
    
    I would just like to say that Tommy is lucky to have such a strong
    and caring person on his side and I will continue to include you
    all in my prayers.
    
    HUGGGGGGGGGGGGSSSSSS ,
    
    Desryn.
    

    UPDATE:
    
    Oh no!  I'm beginning to get phone calls, people wondering why I
    haven't written any updates this week!  Sorry!!  Family graduations,
    reunions, and all the 'normal' stuff kids do has been keeping me very
    pre-occupied and I haven't been able to get to the hospital since
    Sunday.  However, my husband went last night and . . . .  Tommy was
    exercising his arms!  He was so proud that when he saw his dad
    approaching the bed, he showed him how he could TOUCH HIS FACE with his
    left hand!!  Then he moved his right arm (the one with the six pins!)
    up and down!!  My husband said he had a big grin!!  He was alert and
    responding to his dad's questions.  He still tries to talk, but, that
    lip reading is difficult.  He said he looked truly interested in what
    Tom what telling him.  Not bad!!!  I'm so anxious for them to remove
    the trach!!  What a great day that will be!!  
    
    Must be so darn boring for him to lay there day after day.  I feel just
    awful for being so busy with 'life' things, however, a long term
    illness like this does not generate much sympathy from family.  They
    just can't understand why your life is NOT like it used to be and
    'expect' things to be normal within a few weeks.  Oh well.  Its just
    the way it is.  I sometimes get angry as well.  I want things to go
    back to the way they were and try to fill my life with something
    'different'.  Sometimes when I'm on the way to the hospital I want to
    scream.  It just gets so darn routine.  So much suffering there.  It
    just depresses me sometimes.
    
    Oh well, enough light talk.  Ha! I do like the Intermediate Care Unit.  
    The waiting room is cleaner, has a coke machine, more magazines, and less
    people.  Sometimes I just want to sit by myself and not have to talk to
    anyone.  If I want company, I can just skip down to the 3rd floor and
    check out what is happening there.  And so many wonderful people here
    at DEC have offered a zillion times to meet me at the hospital or drive
    up with me just to take off the edge. Problem is, I never know what to
    expect once I get there.  Sometimes they let me in immediately other
    times I have to wait.  Sometimes Tommy is ok, other times he's crying
    and depressed.  So I try to play all this by ear.
    
    I'm anxious to see him tonight.  I'll make sure to update you all on
    Monday!  
    
    HAVE A GREAT WEEK END!!
    
    Thank you ALL for your support and prayers!!
    
    Love,
    
    Estelle
    
    
    
    

    
    
    Oh I forgot, for all the men out there who have been supporting me
    throught this entire affair:
    
                          "HAPPY FATHER'S DAY"!!  
    
    Give your loved ones an extra hug.  You NEVER KNOW what can happen to them!
    
    Enjoy YOUR day!
    
    God Bless!!
    
    EStelle
    

    Estelle, having just read your two notes, I have to apologize to you.
    I, too, have been busy this week and hadn't noticed that you hadn't 
    written. I'm sorry. Tommy's recovery has become very important to me
    although it can never be as important as it is to you. 
    
    I understand your feelings of anger and depression, just know that if
    it ever gets to bad, we are here for you.
    
    Now that said. Let me say this. YYYYYYYAAAAAAHHHHOOOOOO Tommy is coming
    along and hearing that he's moving his arms and hands so well is great.
    I hope he got my card and that it helped a little.
    
    As always, you and he are in my prayers and thoughts. thank you for the 
    Father's Day wishes. They are appreciated.
    
    Love and Healing Light for you both,
    
    PJ

    
    
    	That's wonderful news Estelle!  A great way to start
    	the weekend....such positive feelings.
    
    	Best Wishes
    
    	JJ
    

    I am so happy for you, Estelle.  
    
    hugs,
    E Grace

    re.192 Hi, Estelle, is there any chance he could have a laptop PC
    in his room to play with? Keep him busy learning new stuff,
    fine motor control skills and computer skills too ;-) (Wonder if we 
    could get DEC to donate one?)

Estelle,
	That is great news about Tommy.  It is so good to hear that he is doing
something now.  Looks like he really wants to talk so I also hope they take out
that trach soon.

	That is such a neat idea - the laptop.  He is going to need a few
whizzie toys pretty soon.

	I hope he continues to improve.

Hugs,
Martha

	I once had an operation that required my mouth to be wired shut.
	During the first couple of weeks, speech was both difficult and
	pretty unintelligible. So what I did was set up my PC next to
	my bed, so both I and anyone I was talking to could see the
	screen, and I "talked" by simply typing on the PC. Crude,
	but effective. If Tommy is has enough use of hands to type a bit,
	it might make communications easier. Even a plain terminal could
	be used, by simply putting it in local mode. I am sure the hospital
	will want to examine any electrical equipment that you bring in
	(I once got in big trouble for setting up CB station in my
	hospital room in the 70's, without asking permission) but it
	ought to work out.

	Another thing I did while in the hospital was to make up a sheet 
	of paper with a dozen phrases that I commonly used. Then, all I 
	had to do was point at the appropriate phrase. 

	Hope this information is of use, and wishing the best for Tommy 
	and you...

						Tom_K
	

    UPDATE
    
    ONE BIG PIECE OF GOODNEWS, TOMMY IS 'OFF' THE VENTILATOR!!!  He's
    actually breathing on his own. The trach is still in and he's breathing
    through that, but the ventilator is gone!!  He's awake most of the time
    now when we go down.  He is VERY depressed and we were told that the
    anti-depressants would take 4-6 weeks to kick in.  Once that happens
    they assured us we would see a BIG difference.  He doesn't want to talk
    to me, only his dad.  Which is fine.  
    
    The laptop is a GREAT idea.  We'll have to wait, however, since he
    cannot move his body at all.  The head is held in place by the halo,
    then the pins in his hips and right arm keep him from moving to any
    position whatsoever.  He is literally flat on his back and can only see
    the ceiling above him.  He has absolutely no ability to move his head
    at all.  Once the halo comes off, (another 2-3 weeks) and then the
    pins, maybe he could maneuver enough to type with his left hand.  
    
    I don't mean to sound so grim, however, its such a fantastic idea I
    just wish we could implement it NOW.  I've learned to be very patient
    through this.  But there are times that are just exasperating!!!!
    
    Tommy doesn't seem to recognize me lately.  He gets VERY angry with me
    and tells me to go away.  I tried to see a doctor yesterday, to see
    what was going on however, they must have been busy with another patient.  
    I'll probably seen one tomorrow.
    
    Yesterday, the nurse asked us to leave the room so she could
    change one of his bandages, when we came back in Tommy looked at his 
    dad and said, "Happy Father's Day".  Well my husband started to cry!
    Then Tommy broke out in a HUGE grin.  He was so proud of himself and 
    so were we.  
    
    I've been sitting here forever re-reading this note and trying not to
    make it sound so grim, however, I just can't think of any alternatives.
    I think I'm just beat from such a hectic week end and all.  It was 
    just so busy with Father's Day and all that I never really stopped
    running till we got back from the hospital last night.  It felt so good
    to put my feet up and just veg out!
    
    As usual, thank you for your support and prayers!!
    
    God Bless!!!
    
    Estelle
    
    

    Hi Estelle,
      Sorry to hear Tommy is so depressed, although I guess it shouldn't
    surprise us.....Once the medication starts working, I'm sure you'll
    see a major difference - Have patience, it's your biggest asset! 
    Well...one of them at least! ;-)
    
      Take care of yourself, let Tommy know we are all thinking of him
    here, and that we care for all of you.  Sending warm thoughts and
    gentle hugs.....
    
      -HA

    Estelle, you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.  I've
    suffered through three clinical depression bouts, twice with
    medication (Norpramin).  It took me a few weeks to see the difference,
    and it was a gradual improvement, but it works!
    
    One of the markers along the way was that I would become angry over 
    events or conditions that, before, had pushed me deeper into tears and 
    depression.  Not, I hasten to add, out-of-control anger or violent loss 
    of temper.  Rather, a healthy response to unhappy, even rotten,
    situations.  
    
    That led to a stage in which the serenity prayer became more real and more
    of a lifeline to me than ever before:
    
    	God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
    	the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know 
    	the difference.
    
    Thoughts, prayers, hugs,
    aq
    

    Estelle:
    
    Just got back from vacation....glad to hear that you have had some
    really great news!
    
    Tommy will get over the depression!  And he'll talk to you again...am
    sending more cards............hope it helps!
    
    Thinking and praying for you and for Tommy!
    
    Jackie

    Estelle,
    
    It is good to hear about the improvements.  I pray that they continue.
    Your troubles help to remind me that my life ain't to bad.
    
    I remember the first note I saw from you after Tommy got hurt, it was
    in the NCP notefile and you were asking for help understanding the
    actions of Tommy's bio mother.  If you do not consider it prying, I was
    wondering what has become of her?  Is she still visiting and
    interfering?  Or has she, as I suspect, just sorta faded out of the
    picture once she realized this was not going to be a quick drama but
    and long drawn out taste of real life?  
    
    I admire your strength and perseverance.  
    
    Xtra hugs
    jimc
    
    P.S. If I'm prying, just tell me to get lost and have a moderator
    delete this note.
    

    JIMC:
    
    Funny you should ask about her.  The communication between she and my
    husband stopped quite a few weeks ago.  We realized that we were
    keeping her informed of EVERY change, surgery, emergency, etc.,
    however, the favor was not being returned.  She would share nothing
    with us.  Therefore, we stopped making calls, and everything just got
    quiet.  From what I understand she still goes to the hospital, however,
    I don't know how often, and don't ask.  As long as Tommy is ok that is
    all that matters.  
    
    Tommy ADORES his father.  He always asks for him.  When we were there
    Sunday, I was sitting on a bench near the window of his room and
    watching him just stare at his dad with such tenderness in his eyes. 
    You'd think that a person as sick as he has been would be asking for
    his mother, but, not Tommy.  He asks only for his father.  He thinks
    the world of him, obviously.  
    
    I feel somewhat guilty, however, we've cut down our trips to the
    hospital to about 3 a week.  We got so run down (everyone in the world
    told us this would happen, but did we listen?  No, not us!!) we just
    had to step back and rest up.  I feel just awful when I think of Tommy
    laying there just waiting for someone to walk in.  He has no idea what
    we've been through and can only focus on what he's gone thru.  Oh, well
    I'm sure 'this too shall pass'.
    
    God Bless!!
    
    Estelle
    

    
    Estelle,
    
    I've been reading your heart-rending notes about your son and I get 
    teary everytime (I have a son Tommy too -he's only 2).  Many warm wishes 
    for a continuous recovery.  You are a very strong and supportive
    person.
    
    I had a suggestion for keeping Tommy busy.  It will probably
    have to wait until the halo is removed, but how about a walkman with
    either song tapes or books on tape.  Many libraries loan out books on
    tape so you wouldn't have to spend a lot of money.  He could listen to 
    books being read to him or his favorite music.  My dad just underwent 
    open heart surgery and we brought him a walkman in the hospital.  He was 
    very pleased with it.
    
    Just a thought,
    
    -dorothy
    

        Bringing something that he can't manipulate the controls
        to on his own, sets off little alarm bells for me.  Like
        you said, it will probably have to wait until the halo is
        removed.
        
        Dan

Estelle, it's all your fault that I couldn't go cold-turkey from womannotes, I
just had to peek in now and then to see what was new with Tommy!!! 

:-) :-) :-) 

(well you don't expect ME to take the blame for it! :-)

are you out of cards yet?  do you need more?

I'm so glad to hear that Tommy is doing so well!  Major league hugs!

Sara

    	RE: 754.206
    
    	A walkman with books on tape sounds like a great idea.
    	Tommy could have something to occupy his mind when he's
    	awake.
    
    	Scott

	Y'all beat me to it regarding books on Cassettes.  But
	I have another suggestion.  This may sound silly, but
	sometimes listening to books can be hard work, therefore,
	maybe you can find some cassettes that don't require any
	work.

	One of my Favorites is Wizard of Oz.. the sound track.
	It is familiar, predictable, makes me laugh and cry like
	a child again, and it is still fun!  No work is required
	for "visualization" since year after year we have all seen
	it on the tube, or via Video.. so I can relax and go to 
	sleep without feeling guilty, or that I missed something.

	But, as everyone said, I love having books on Cassettes 
	(after doing the CRT thing all day), and sometimes I even 
	break down and listen to some "self help" cassettes, 
	especially one's I would never choose to read.  Maybe there
	is one to help lift Tommy's spirits out there?!?

	BTW, If Tommy like's Sci Fi.. there are some fun Star Trek
	Cassettes to be found as well.

			..jlg
	

    Estelle,
    
    Still praying.
    
      Margaret

    WOW! WOW! WOW! What great ideas!!!  The walkman is easy (with three
    teenagers in the house we have enough of those).  I'll start looking
    into the tapes by the week end.  
    
    THANKS FOR EVERYTHING!!           
    
    God Bless!!
    
    Estelle

    Estelle, hope Tommy and all your family had a good weekend.
    
    Still think of you most every day -- Sara
    

    
    for some ideas on how to keep him occupied (or you can enter some
    information on Tommy's case and ask for suggestions) - see also
    
    MEDICAL
    984 - passing time in hospital
    
    -Jody
    

    UPDATE!!
    
    I can't take credit for any of the following good news.  I've been so
    busy that my husband has gone to the hospital alone for the past week. 
    However, Tommy is NOW IN A REGULAR ROOM!!  He's still hooked up to a
    "FEW" things but he is doing better.  A friend of his went to see him
    last night and called us today to say that they had raised his head
    somewhat (very little, but nonetheless, some!) and how pleased she was
    with the way he looked.  When my husband went yesterday afternoon he
    stayed with for 1-1/2 hours "talking"!!  Tommy still doesn't have a
    voice, however, the nurse told him that they were going to insert a
    device today in order to give him a voice.  This is temporary until the
    trach is removed.  He is still being given oxygen, but NO MORE
    ventilator!!  
    
    I can't believe his progress in the past 3-4 weeks.  If he was a
    fighter when he was in the coma, he sure has doubled his effort!  He's
    lost approximately 65 lbs. (hasn't had one thing to eat since March
    17).  No wonder!
    
    Tomorrow is his B'day.  Twenty Six, we'd NEVER thought he would make
    it.  We still are not sure about the prognosis for the future, but, if
    he continues the way he has been, I guess the sky could be the limit. 
    Seems to me like the 'cure' is not primarily in the medicine but in the
    mind.  The will.  Then the countless prayers and prayer groups!! 
    Unreal how this has come together. They told us last week that the
    'halo' would be coming off in the next couple of weeks.  We are so
    looking forward to that!  The nurse gave him a cloth yesterday to wipe
    his own face.  He then takes it and 'hangs' it on his pins in his hips! 
    Sort of like a towell rack!  I laughed till my sides hurt on that one!
    
    Yesterday, my husband said he was not so depressed and could actually
    remember who had been in to see him and details about some banking
    questions we had.  This is definitely GOOD NEWS!!
    
    So we breathe a little better now, cry a lot less, sleep a lot tighter,
    but continue praying so that we don't take a step back in ANY WAY! 
    This has been such a rough road.  But we're making it.  Its taken a lot
    out of us as a family, but has made me stronger for what lays ahead for
    me.  Whatever that may be.  I think the stress of all this really
    affected my daughter, she moved out two weeks ago to go live with her
    girlfriend.  I'm disappointed, but, I can't run her life for her.  She
    needs to spread her wings and see if she can fly.  I just need to be
    there for her should she fall.
    
    The cards are WONDERFUL!  I have quite a collection.  THANK YOU SO
    MUCH!  
    
    I'm going to be selfish and request (actually, beg) that you please keep 
    the prayers coming.  We have a long haul in rehabilitation but I know we'll
    be ok!
    
    I'll update again, when I have MORE GOOD NEWS!!
    
    God Bless my notesfriends!!
    
    Estelle    
        

    Estelle,
      What wonderful news!  Sounds like Tommy is coming along with leaps
    and bounds!!!!  Continued prayers coming your way!  Glad to hear Tommy
    is less depressed as well, that is very good news.  It even sounds like
    he's developing a sense of humor about all this, which is my favorite
    medicine as well!
    
      When you see Tommy next, wish him HAPPY BIRTHDAY from me!  Perhaps we
    can add a few birthday cards to the get well cards we are sending!?
    Take care, you, your family and Tommy are always in my thoughts and
    prayers.  Hugs!
    
       -HA

Estelle:
    
    I have been sending my prayers all along, and will continue to do so,
    but I thought you might like to have what follows.....to lighten your
    load, maybe not for a long time, but maybe just for today!
    
    Jackie
    




			25 Ways to Cope with STRESS

1.	Jam miniature marshmallows up your nose and sneeze them out. 
        See how many you can do at once.
 
2. 	Use your MasterCard to pay your Visa and vice-versa.
 
3.	Pop some popcorn without putting the lid on.
 
4.	When someone says "Have a nice day", tell them you have other plans.
 
5.	Make a list of things to do that you've already done.
 
6. 	Dance naked in front of your pets.
 
7.	Put your toddler's clothes on backwards and send them off to pre-school
	as if nothing is wrong.
 
8.	Fill out your tax forms using Roman Numerals.
 
9.	Tape pictures of your boss on watermelons and launch them from high
	places.
 
10.	Leaf through a "National Geographic" and draw underwear on the natives.
 
11. 	Tattoo "out to lunch" on your forehead.
 
12.	Go shopping. Buy everything.  Sweat in it.  Return it the next day.
 
13.	Buy a subscription of "Sleeziod Weekly" and send it to your boss's
        wife.
 
14.	Pay your electric bill in pennies.
 
15.	Drive to work in reverse.
 
16.	Find out what a frog in a blender really looks like.
 
17.	Tell your boss to "blow it out of your mule" and let them figure it
	out.
 
18. 	Sit naked on a shelled hard boiled egg.
 
19. 	Polish your car with ear wax.
 
20.	Read the dictionary upside down and look for secret messages.
 
21.	Start a nasty rumor and see if you recognize it when it comes back to
	you.
 
22. 	Braid the hairs in each nostril.
 
23.	Write a short story using alphabet soup.
 
24.	Stare at people through the tines of a fork and pretend they're in jail.
 
25.	Make up a language and ask people for directions.
 
Bonus.  Replace the filling of a Twinkey with ketchup and place it back in the 
     	wrapper.
 

    Estelle, bless you and your husband and Tommy and all your good news!
    
    Sara
    

    Estelle,
    
    Thank God for more good news about Tommy.    It is great to read how
    good he is getting week by week.   I know you all have a long haul
    ahead of you, but take each day/week one at a time.   If you get
    depressed at any time, just think of the progress he has made so far.
    
    Wish Tommy Happy Birthday from me.
    
    I will keep praying both for Tommy and all of you.
    
    
    
    Lots of hugs,
    
    Bernie
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    

    
    Hello Estelle,
    
    Great News!!!! I will keep remembering Tommy in my prayer group.
    
    Re .217 LOVE the ways to cope with stress. I will definitely try
    the marshmallows.
    
    Desryn.
     

    .217 that list is cute.  I sat here laughing at the terminal.  I'm
    sure everyone around me know's I'm cracking for sure!!
    
    Thanks for the laugh I needed it and it is a FULL MOON!
    
    Estelle, you and your family are in my prayers.
    
    Mary
    

    UPDATE!!
    
    Good morning everyone!!  I went to see Tommy the other night and God he
    looked great!  His mood has really changed for the better.  He doesn't
    cry as much, seems to have accepted that he's going to be in the
    hospital for awhile and is quite capable of entertaining himself.  It
    is still difficult to read his lips (they have put in the voice box,
    but, he doesn't seem to know how to work it yet, I'm sure that will
    come with time), but, I keep guessing till I've got it.  So frustrating
    for him.
    
    Today they are supposed to transfer Tommy to Worcester County hospital. 
    He will be there for about a month and then they will start the surgery
    on his pelvic bone, plus they are giving him new hips.  He did so much
    damage to his middle that they have to replace everything.  Otherwise
    he will never sit in a wheelchair.  And who knows, while they are in
    there they will probably be able to correct his paralysis.  Who knows? 
    So many other miracles have happened that it wouldn't surprise me at
    all if that would happen.  All the surgery will be done at U Mass
    Medical Center, however, the recovery will be at Worcester County and
    then they will put him in a home for rehabilitation.  
    
    Sunday will be the fourth month anniversary of the accident.  My God so
    much has happened.  So MANY, MANY people here at Digital that I will
    probably NEVER meet have come to our rescue.  The prayers, warm
    thoughts, guiding lights have been such a comfort.  I didn't realize
    how tired I was till I started to wind down just thinking about
    vacation.  I was hoping to get away, however, now I'm just content to
    be home with my youngest and do whatever we feel like on any given day.
    
    Oh, which reminds me, I will be on vacation next week.  As I said we
    are just going to bee-bop around with my 14 year old.  A few days at the 
    beach, visit a few friends and see Tommy as usual.  Sounds mighty good
    to me right now!!
    
    Thank you for your support my notesfriends!!
    
    Oh by the way, re .217 the popcorn works!!  Ha!  Ha!  I did laugh like
    crazy, (especially the one about the frog in the blender!!)  
    
    God Bless you all,
    
    Estelle
    
      

    Here's hoping you have a wonderful renewing vacation, Estelle!  Please
    check in with an update when you return.
    
    aq
    

    
    
    	Estelle,
    
    	I'm so happy to hear of Tommy's progress.  I don't reply
    	to this string much but haven't missed any of the updates
    	or other replies of prayer and strength.
    
    	Enjoy your vacation and the extra time you will have with
    	your family.
    
    	I look forward to hearing more good news upon your return!
    
    	Best Wishes
    
    	JJ
    

    Wonderful news Estelle!  Glad to hear Tommy's mood is improving!
    I will be keeping you all, as always in my thoughts and prayers.
    
    Have a wonderful, relaxing vacation - You deserve it!  Take care.
    
      -HA

Estelle,

	Such wonderful news about Tommy.  I am seeing so much hope in your
notes now.  To hear that Tommy's less depressed is such good news.

	I'll be thinking of you, Tommy and the rest of your family as you
vacation.  Hope it is relaxing for you.

Take care,
Martha

    Such wonderful uplifting news. Enjoy your vacation and rest assured
    that the prayers and positive thoughts will continue on my end while
    you are away. 
    
    LOVE and LIGHT,
    
    PJ

    E-
    
    Enjoy your vacation....I just read this note, and am glad to
    see the light at the end of the tunnel is showing through!
    
    Hugs & Smiles!
    
    Lynne

    UPDATE!!!   UPDATE!!!   UPDATE!!!
    
    Good Morning EVERYONE!!  As you can probably tell, I have MORE GOOD
    NEWS about my favorite patient.
    
    God he's come so far in the past few weeks, I just can't believe it. 
    The new home/hospital that he is in leaves a lot to be desired.  It
    VERY old, no air conditioning, however, it IS clean and Tommy assured
    me that the nurse are VERY nice.  So the two most important goals for
    patient care are met.  He is now in Worcester County Hospital (RIGHT
    next door to the Worcester County Prison (YIKES!!)).  
    
    You won't believe this, however, Tommy is now taking in REAL FOOD!! 
    WOW!!  The day that they moved him from U-MASS Medical Center to
    Worcester County he began to HAVE PAIN IN HIS HIPS AND LEFT LEG!!! 
    Everyone is thrilled!!  Feelings!!!  Real feelings in his hips and
    leg!!  So we aren't sure yet if that improves the prognosis since we
    have not yet seen Dr. Fink from U-MASS, however, the nurses are very
    pleased with this bit of good news and have encouraged us as well.
    
    I can't believe that just a few months ago his lungs, liver, kidneys
    were all shut down and the doctors were preparing us for the worse
    since they truly did not think he'd make it.  And when I saw the nurse
    feeding him mashed potatoes, peas and fish I was ecstatic.  They've had
    to order him a new voice box, (something went haywire with the present
    one) and that should be inserted either this week or next.  The halo
    should be removed this week as well as the pins.  (God, those famous,
    God awful pins!!  I'll never forget how they scared me so that first
    night I saw them!!)
    
    He had no television in this new hospital, so I went down with my 14
    year old son last Monday and bought & brought him one.  Pretty slick
    t.v. and he had the time of his life watching two Frenchmen trying to
    hook up the antennas and all.  I also took all his cards from my
    Notesfriends and hung them up on his bulleting board facing him.
    
    I've offered him the tapes and walkman, but right now with the halo and
    pins in his arm and hips, he's content with his t.v.  To me it must be
    boring, however, he assured me that he's just fine.  As he gets
    stronger (today or tomorrow) I'm sure!!
    
    Must run!!
    
    Talk to you soon.
    
    Estelle 

    	Estelle,
    
    	We're all thrilled at the news.
    
    	I continue to pray for improvement.
    
    	He's come such a long way.
    
    	Scott

    As always, Estelle, these reports on Tommy's improvments, serve to make
    my day much brighter. He and you continue to receive my prayers, good
    thoughts, and love. 
    
    Love and Light,
    
    PJ

    Thank God, Estelle.  I am so happy for you and your family.
    
    E Grace

Estelle, I love it when you make me smile!  The news of Tommy is always welcome,
and when it's as good as this, it's terrific!  It sounds like Tommy's depression
is better, too.

D'ya need more cards yet?

Hugs'n'hugs -- Sara

    Estelle,
    
    Thanks be to God! more good news about Tommy, it is terrific.
    
    
    Many hugs and prayers,
    
    Bernie

    Hi Estelle!
      Real food....Real feelings - WOW!  The good news just keeps on
    coming!  I'm so glad.  Here are some more prayers coming your way
    for you, your family and Tommy - Let's hear it for good news!
    Yipee!
    
      -HA

    
    	How wonderful Estelle!
    
    	Such fantastic news.....I love it!
    
    	JJ
    
    
    

    
    I AM SHOUTING:
    
    HIP HIP HOORAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    
    WHAT GOOD NEWS
    
    Estelle, this is so wonderful!  Now I will try and pray even HARDER (if
    that's possible) so Tommy REALLY has a chance for a GREAT recovery!
    
    This file has been a Godsend......so much energy and love in this file,
    I just can believe it!  
    
    This has made my whole day!
    
    More cards coming at you for Tommy!
    
    Jackie
          

    Re:  .237
    
    You are SO RIGHT about the love and energy in this file.  I've been truly
    serious when I've indicated that without all this support I could NOT
    have been so strong for everyone.  The impact that this has had on our
    family is forever.  We've all changed, grown in different directions in
    some cases, and have experienced some VERY significant consequences
    from this.  However, we've ALL survived!!
    
    The worse is over for now, and the only place to go from here is UP!! 
    The one thing I'm trying to be sensitive about is talking TOO much
    about Tommy to our friends and relatives.  It's almost like people get
    to a point that they really DON'T want to hear it anymore.  I truly can
    understand that and would probably feel that way myself.  So I do try
    to 'button it'.  Not always successful, but, there is an effort there.
    
    Again, thank you all for your prayers, bright lights, healing vibes,
    etc.  This is 'TRULY' what has kept me going!!
    
    Love and prayers to you ALL!!
    
    Estelle
    
                         

    Hi Estelle,
      Well, you can keep coming in here and talk to us all you want!  I
    don't think we'll ever get tired!  It's so good to hear of Tommy's
    continuing improvements.  Here is some more bright light and prayers
    coming your way to keep you, your family and Tommy going!  Take care.
    
     -HA

    Estelle, you can come on in and tell us all about Tommy, and you, and
    your family, any time!  If folks aren't feeling up to it they can hit
    next unseen -- something that's hard to do in person, granted!
    
    I am always glad to read your news, and always glad to send you 
    all the hugs that can fit thru the wire :-)
    
    Sara
    

    I'll add a third to that Estelle, you can talk about Tommy all you
    want in here and expect support.
    
    Bonnie

    
    
    I'll 4th that!
    
    Estelle, you can talk to me/us anytime!  We love to hear from you!  Our
    support is UNCONDITIONAL!!!!!
    
    JACKIE

    well, after 242 replies, I'll add my two cents. This topic didn't
    really hit home 'til a friend of mine got in a _major_ accident (*)
    and was unconscious for several weeks. Now he's back among the living
    and I just want to say *YIPPEE* for all the survivors, friends and
    families. And hugs, and champagne too! I'm buying ;-)
    
    (*) Don was driving a dumptruck - first day on a new job - and got hit
    by a *train* -they found him 250 feet! from the crossing. 

    UPDATE!!  UPDATE!!  UPDATE!!
    
    My husband took me away for a Mystery Weekend.  We left Thursday, 7/11
    and returned yesterday.  WOW it was great to sit back and veg!!  My two
    boys left at home left Wednesday, 7/10 to see their Grandmother in
    Florida and hubby saw it as an opportunity to do an escape scene.  Went
    to the Cape and I vegged in the sun Thursday and Friday.  The weather
    was spectacular!, the sun was warm!, the champagne was ice cold!, and
    the water was just right!!  It was WONDERFUL!!  I shopped till I
    dropped on Saturday, then we caught a movie, had a great dinner in the
    evening and came home yesterday.  
    
    Of course, on the way home we stopped to see our favorite patient and
    they received his new voice box which is working just fine!!  He really
    talked up a storm.  We talked about the accident a lot and told him
    about the many things he's been through besides the obvious pins and
    halo.  I told him how 'close' he came to 'meeting his maker'.  When his
    dad left the room to have a cigarette, Tommy talked to me about the
    fact that he might be in a wheelchair for the rest of his life.  So I
    told him he has to think about what he wants to do for a career and
    that I would explore the opportunities open to him.  I told him to try
    and keep his chin up and that self-pity will only hinder his progress. 
    He's come too far to stop now. 
    
    His attitude was good and I think he'll be able to accept whatever
    comes along.  Actually, we all have too.  However, when I stop and
    think about how far everyone has come thru all this, the rest is a
    piece of cake.  As long as we take things 'one day at a time' we'll be
    all fine!
    
    Well, I guess that's my news for now.  Tommy's attitude is VERY good
    and the nurses love him.  I have his bulletin board covered with 'get
    well cards' and his room looks so much brighter and cheerier.  Now that
    he can have 'real' food, he complains about the hospital 'slop'.  I
    promised him some lasagna and a few other goodies.  He still isn't
    interested in doing much else besides sleeping and watching t.v. which
    for now is probably what he needs most anyway.
    
    Take care my notesfriends.  I better get busy trying to get back into
    the routine.  Sure felt good to play just plain 'Estelle' for a few
    days though.  We were more stressed out than we realized.  Isn't
    everyone?!?!?!?!?!
    
    God Bless!!
    
    Estelle
     

now THAT is a wonderful way to start a week.

HOORAY ESTELLE!!!!!

    
    
    Estelle:
    
    You have just brightened up my enitre week!
    
    Glad you could get away and enjoy yourselves for the weekend!
    
    And...glad to see that Tommy is getting better, (we know that because
    he is complaining about the food).
    
    Will keep the cards coming..........tell us if and when you want us to
    stop!
    
    
    Jackie
    

    	Estelle,
    
    	The weekend sounds like just he ticket.
    
    	It's good, too, that you Tommy was able to talk about the
    	accident and his future. He's come so far.
    
    	I've gone back a coupla time and read 754.0 and thought
    	"God, how did this fella even live through this." Now,
    	he's talking about his future and looking at options.
    	Says a lot about Tommy.
    
    	Thanks for the good news.
    
    	Continued prayers daily for Tommy and you guys.
    
    	Scottz

    Estelle:
    
    Do you think you will ever show him this file?  At least the good
    parts?  
    
    Jackie
    

    
    Estelle,
    
    	Great news!!!
    
    Still sending healing energy when I think about it.  Hope Tommy gets 
    out of the hospital soon and starts to rebuild his life.  I know
    that you'll be with him every step of the way.
    
    
    Hugs Hugs Hugs
    
    Debbi

    Great news Estelle!
      Glad you were able to get away, even for a little while.  Must have
    done you a world of good!  Glad to hear Tommy is still doing well and
    is coming to grips with the things that will come next.  Glad to hear
    his attitude is good too, that makes all the difference!  Thanks for
    keeping us updated.  Take care.
    
      -HA

    Estelle, I'm so glad to hear Tommy has come so far.  I really believe
    in Pray and Positive Attitude goes a long way.
    
    In Ashland several years back we had a 15 yr. girl hit by a tractor
    trailor as she rode her bike.  Well, the community rallied around her
    one Saturday in September and had all kinds of crafts and games at the
    park and the high light of the whole even was when Susie arrived by
    ambulance to see the crowds of people that had banded together to
    support her and her family in pray and hope as well as some fund
    raising activities all in her honor.  It was the first time she had
    been taken out of the hospital in months and she couldn't beleive that
    it was a Susie M. appreciation day.  It still brings tears to my eyes
    to think of the wonderful things people do for people they don't even
    know. 
    
    By the way Susie IS walking today despite what the odds were against
    her when she was crushed at the pelvis area.  There is hope.  Let's
    keep on praying and cheering Tommy on.
    
    Hugs,
    Mary
    

    Estelle:
    
    How are things going?  How are you?
    
    
    Jackie
    

    UPDATE!!  UPDATE!!  UPDATE!!
    
    BEST NEWS OF ALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  The halo is OFF!!!  The pins in
    his right arm are OUT!!!!  They did that yesterday.  Then Tommy was
    evaluated and the doctor said he 'thinks' Tommy MIGHT WALK AGAIN!!!!
    
    I just can't believe it!!!  He's so thrilled!!  (So are we!!)  He
    started to get a lot of company this week and part of last week, then
    for him to get that halo off, pins out and good news just brought his
    spirits through the roof!  
    
    I guess miracles DO happen!  My husband is going to try and reach the
    doctor today to try and confirm this.  We're in 7th heaven right now
    and we just don't want this bubble to burst!
    
    We have a long way to go, but this is really going so well I don't mind
    the trip.  The support I've had from all of you is just grand. 
    Whenever I've felt discouraged and down I knew I could always count on
    my notefriends  for help and support.  You have all been my miracle!!
    
    God Bless and please keep those prayers coming!!
    
    Love,
    
    Estelle
    
    

    That is such wonderful news!  I've been reading about you and Tommy
    all along. You've put tears in my eyes more than once. Right now
    they're tears of joy!
    
    Thanks for the update!  Kath

    
    	Estelle,
    
    	This kind of news just makes my week!  Absolutely wonderful!!
    	I went back and read .0 and to think that now there's a chance
    	that he might walk again is indeed a miracle!!
    
    	More hugs and best wishes coming to your family...
    
    	JJ
    	

    	Estelle,
    
    	This news is too good. The prognosis just keeps getting
    	better. I will continue to pray for Tommy's recovery.
    
    	Such good news, and I'm leaving tomorrow for a 3,000
    	mile bike race. Thankfully, I'm crewing and not riding.
    
    	Scott

    Oh, Estelle!   {*8
    
    
    E Grace

    
    
    Estelle:
    
    Tommy did it!  He got all the prayers into his soul and he fought it! 
    He has you and his Dad pushing and praying and all of us!
    
    Thank God for letting us all help Tommy!
    
    And Thank You for sharing with us all the time!
    
    Love to Tommy, You and your family, and all of the noters in this file!
    
    Jackie
    

    HI Estelle,
      This is the best news yet!  It's amazing how far Tommy's come! 
    Having the halo off and the pins out must make him so happy!  This
    note brought new tears to my eyes, but of the fun variety!  
    
    Keeping you, Tommy and your family in my thoughts and prayers.
    
     -HA

    Estelle,
    
    Brilliant news.
    
    Will keep you, Tommy and family in my prayers.
    
    
    Bernie
    

    
    
    	F A N T A S T I C ! ! !

    M
     A
      Z
       E
        L
    
          T
    	   O
    	    V!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    unlike the other people who have responded to Estelle's fabulous news
    about Tommy's fantastic progress, I am going to be restrained and
    dignified.
    
    Oh what the heck.  Howcome there's no topic for the primal scream of
    joy?
    
    HHHHHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYY!!!!!!!
    HHHOOOOOORRRAAAYYY !!!
    
    SARA
    

    
    
    Unlike in the beginning of all this when we cried so many times out of
    fear and panic, today I cry because of all the many notes of good
    wishes that continue to hold us up higher and higher.  Even though I've
    been told a thousand times of 'how strong I am', this challenge has
    increased that strength one hundred fold.  I guess what I'm trying to
    say is that I know in my heart I can handle just about anything now
    'with a little help from my friends'.  
    
    Thank you again for your words of kindness and strength!
    
    Love,
    
    Estelle
    
    

    Estelle, I knew it. I knew it in my deepest heart and soul. I told you
    once a long time ago to never give up and don't always believe what the
    doctor's say. 
    
    In another file, we are debating the psychology of belief and
    scepticism of a creator. If anyone can read what is in this string and
    not walk away sure in the existence of a creator that answers prayers
    and needs. Well, I just don't know. I'm sitting here feeling only the
    most intense JOY and ELATION at this wonderful, wonderful news. Again,
    as on all your updates, the tears are streaming down my face. This is
    such ... Just the best news. I don't know how I'll react if we get much
    more good news on this and i don't care. Keep the updates coming,
    please. This just absolutely brings such JOY.
    
    LOVE and LIGHT,
    
    PJ

	Estelle,
	
	Your news is incredibly wonderful!!  Tommy must have such a strong
	will to have pulled himself up so far.  I'm sure your continued
	strength has helped him more than you'll ever realize.

	Sue

    This is **FANTASTIC**  - I am so thrilled for you all.  Like many
    others, I have been following Tommy's progress, though I haven't
    responded since very early.  You and Tommy and all your family continue
    to be in my thoughts and prayers.  Continued best of luck.  
    
    Linda

    
    
    	Estelle---
    
    
    		Y A H O O O O ! ! ! !
    
    Positive energy keeps flowing your way....
    
    
    Debbi
    

    Estelle:
    
    Are you okay?  Haven't heard from you in a while.....kinda scarry!
    
    Jackie

    .269
    
    Sorry I haven't written.  So, so, so busy here at the office.  Things
    are continuing to go well.  Tommy looks better and better.  He's lost
    about 65 lbs. (30 or 35 would have been ok, 65 is too much).  However,
    he is now complaining about the food and has hopes to be out of the
    hospital and home by Thanksgiving.  Of course, this is his goal.  We
    still haven't been able to reach the physician to confirm this, but,
    he's surprised everyone so far, why not one more time?
    
    I'm relaxed to see all this goodness happening.  I just need to touch
    base with a doctor at U MASS to have my 1,001 questions answered.  So
    much to think about here.  
    
    The phylosophy of 'taking one day at a time' WORKS.  I just need to
    remind myself every now and then to apply the phylosophy ALL THE TIME,
    not just in crisis mode.
    
    Thank you for your continued concern and SUPPORT!!  You all know how I
    feel about that!!!
    
    Love & prayers,
    
    Estelle
    
    P.S.  Sorry for the rush, just too busy to think anything but bare
          details today!!
    

    Thanks for the update, Estelle.  Just do what you can, when you can;
    prayers and good wishes continue!
    
    aq
    

    I've been out for 3 months on maternity leave, so I just read
    this note for the first time tonight.   All 272 responses!!!
    All I can say is that every update you made with the good news
    made tears well up in my eyes!!!  
    
    I so glad that Tommy has made it through this ordeal.
    Hugs and prayers from my family!!!
    
    -Janice
    
    P.S.  You'll be getting my card soon!

    Estelle,
    
    Even when I can't check in, I try to get the latest updates from
    other noters (thanks Allison).  I am thrilled to here of all the
     progress.  Another sure sign of progress is that things in the
     office are also taking up a lot of your time.
    
    As always, warm and gentle hugs for you and yours.
    
    Your trials and tribulations, help me maintain perspective on my own
    (it could be worse here).
    
    xtra hugs
    jimc

    UPDATE!
    
    When I look back on some of my updates and reflect on the feelings that
    we were going through at the time, I can't believe all that has
    happened.  Doing the updates now is uplifting, even exciting and a
    feeling of sharing good news with friends.
    
    We FINALLY were able to reach Tommy's doctor.  He was able to confirm
    that he feels that Tommy might be able to walk again, however, not
    without the aid of crutches and braces.  He has been severly damaged
    and whatever progress he makes will be between his stubborness and
    God.  They have to do more surgery in the pelvic area, but not until he
    is stable.  He explained that a trauma such as what he has experienced
    it does not take much activity for the body to begin to regress. 
    Therefore, Surgery right now is NOT a good idea.  They also want to
    reverse the colostomy, which is sometime down the road.  What Tommy
    needs most right now is rest and recovery, which is what he is getting
    at Worcester County Hospital.   He also indicated that he did not think
    that Tommy would be up and about on his feet for at least a year! WOW!
    
    A sure sign that he is recovering is that he complains about the food,
    he hates the hospital, doesn't have any interest in anything, and is
    just downright miserable!  So we always leave the hospital reassured 
    that he is progressing!  Nothing we can do, just all part of the
    process.
    
    I guess that is all the news I have for now.  Hope you are ALL doing
    fine and having a wonderful summer and vacations.  The weather has been
    just great, hasn't it?  We're hoping to get to the beach soon.  The
    weekends are just crammed with a million chores plus running to the
    hospital (like everyone else).  We are only going twice a week now
    which we sometimes feel guilty about, however, looks like we're going
    to be doing this for at least another year.  So we just have to pace
    ourselves so we don't go crazy!
    
    Again, thank you for your concern and support!!
    
    Love & prayers,
    
    Estelle
    
    

    just 'cause I don't post here as often, don't think I've thrown you
    over!  I'm really glad to hear your news, Estelle, always -- and, btw,
    to see you posting occasionally in other strings in =wn= and elsewhere!
    To me, that's a sure sign of progress for both Tommy and you!
    
    Sara
    

    Hugs Estelle!
    
    It's so good to come in here and see continuing progress!  Is Tommy in
    need of some more cards?  Maybe that would help a little in the boredom
    department.  Hugs to you, Tommy and your family....Keep the good news
    coming!  Take care.
    
    bright blessings,
    -HA

	Estelle,

	I'm a new reader to this notes file and, a few days ago, some
	note I was reading referenced the "Tommy" note.....well,
	yesterday, I came upon it !!

	The note that referenced it (can't remember which one) talked
	about all the love that was in this note and all it's replies
	and, you know, **** IT WAS RIGHT **** !!!!  This file is so
	filled with love, compassion and genuine caring for you,
	Tommy and all your family that I couldn't believe it.  I also
	COULDN'T stop reading, in any/all spare moments yesterday/
	today, til I got to the last update to see what was happening.

	I'm so glad for you and Tommy that things have progressed so
	well.  I'm only sorry that I wasn't here to offer my own
	support throughout your long ordeal.  Please know that my
	thoughts and prayers are with you now and that I add my
	"hugs" with your fellow-noters as you continue down the path
	toward recovery.

	To the noters in this file, GOD BLESS each and every one of you
	who have supported Estelle in this ordeal.  I only wish I had
	known there were such kind, caring and compassionate people 
	here in DEC when I was going through my pain last year.  YOU
	ARE ALL VERY SPECIAL PEOPLE !!!!!!!

	Debbi J 

    Estelle,
    
    Tommy is lucky for being born in the U.S.; I say this thinking about the
    excellent hospitals and doctors that you have. I took my 5 years old
    son to have a surgery at the Ear and Eye Infirmary in Boston (Thank God a
    success!) and I do know that, as a whole, there is a HUGE difference
    between your hospitals and e.g. the ones in my country.
    I have no doubt Tommy is being very well assisted. 
    
    Hang on there!
    
    L�cia  
    

    UPDATE!!
    
    To .278 - you are so right.  There is much love, support and compassion
    in this file.  The only sad thing is that it took such a tragedy in
    order to bring this out in people.  However, I thank God that I reached
    out and found the support I needed during such a crisis.  I get
    confused at times.  The depression hits me at the odest times.  And
    sometimes it lasts for days.  But, I know that it WILL go away and I
    still struggle to live 'one day at a time' in order to deal with all
    that still is going on.  Then I look back and read all the wonderful
    notes and feel better immediately.  I've made a copy of EVERY note and
    have put it in a three ring binder.  When Tommy is up to it, I want him
    to read it and see all that has happened to him, to us as his family,
    and about all the support, love, help and pryers we ALL received in
    order to pull us out of this.  Now that will be a story for him to get
    into!
    
    Tommy is doing well.  No big changes or progress reports to tell you
    about.  He requested paper last Sunday in order to practice writing his
    name again.  Right now all he can do is put an 'X'.  I was thrilled
    that he even wanted to try and do something.  He gets so tired so
    easily so the slighest amount of exertion is difficult.  All to be
    expected.
    
    Well I must run back to work.  Due to yesterday's hurricane, I am a bit
    behind and duty does call.
    
    Thank you all for being there for Tommy, his dad, my children and me. 
    It helps me survive!
    
    Love & Prayers,
    
    Estelle
    
     

    Estelle:
    
    Glad to hear from you again!
    
    The hardest part is yet to come, but I know you and your family WILL
    get the job done!
    
    And, Tommy.........hang in there, you've come a long way so far....the
    best is yet to come!
    
    Jackie

    	Estelle,
    
    	Anything new to report with Tommy? I've kinda been outa
    	touch for a while and was just wondering.
    
    	Scott

    UPDATE
    
    Scott, I'm guilty of being out of touch with my notesfriends!  Such a
    busy time of year getting everyone ready for school, college,
    supporting my two sons who are on two different football teams!  What a
    semester this is going to be!
    
    Tommy is doing so, so well.  He actually pushed himself down the hall
    last week!  The pins are all out, he's beginning to eat a little better
    and his attitude is quite good.  Only one way for him to go and that is
    UP!
    
    They are talking about putting him in a different hospital so he can
    have more aggressive physical therapy.  But, he's doing so well.  We
    are up to week 26.  What a long haul this has been.  Lots left to do,
    but, when I think about that fatal day, March 17, and how sick he was,
    what is left is a piece of cake!  (Without frosting!)
    
    Sorry I've been so slow in updating.  But as the saying goes, no news
    is good news!
    
    Thank you for your support and prayers!
    
    Estelle
    
      

    Estelle,
      Great news!  I'm so glad to hear of Tommy's continuing progress! 
    It's so amazing when thinking back, how very far he's come!  I keep
    you, Tommy and your family in my heart and prayers.  Take care!
    
    bright blessings,
    -HA

    he pushed himself down the hall -- that's WONDERFUL!
    
    hugs'n'love --
    
    Sara
    

    
    
    	That's great!!  See, doctors don't know _everything_!
    They sometimes forget the power of love, and they sure don't know 
    about notefile friends!!
    
    Hugs and positive energy,
    
    Debbi

    	I agree with Debbi. As my wife, the nurse, says, "Medicine is
    	not an exact science."
    
    	They (doctors) are amazed every day by the progress and
    	accomplishments of patients.
    
    	I glad Tommy is doing so well.
    
    	Scott
    

    Have heard from some good doctors I have met (it took them some
    years of practicing): we treat the patients but we do not heal them,
    it is {God|Nature|Love|Will} that heals.
    
    Glad to know he is doing well and that he fights.
    
    josef.
    

    UPDATE
    
    I received a mail message off line from Judy requesting that I give an
    update on how Tommy's mother has handled all this and if the issues
    that I raised in the beginning have disappeared or not.
    
    I'm sadened to say that the issues have not gone away and that his
    mother has not given him the support that I would expect from a parent. 
    
    Tommy's mom visits once a week (which is fine) and stays approximately
    20-30 minutes.  When Tommy has needed ANYTHING the nurses/staff have
    called his father or myself to see what we can do.  Even if his mother
    is there, they rely on us.  She left us the entire chore of doing all
    the paper work for Social Security and Welfare in order to get Tommy
    some kind of income.  We worked with all the Social Service departments
    of (now 3 hospitals) to keep all the records straight and
    sign any documentation that needed to be signed in order to keep his
    care up.
    
    Then suddenly last week she decided that she wanted to pull him out of
    MASS and get him into a rehab center in NH without saying one word to
    us about it!  When we found out what she was trying to do, we almost
    went through the roof.  We cannot remove Tommy from the state for MANY
    reasons.  When my husband explained this to her, it did not deter her
    from trying anyway.  What a fiasco!
    
    About 3 or 4 days later (through the grace of God) Tommy was accepted
    at Fairlawn Hospital and moved there within 24 hours.  WE had to buy
    him clothes (shorts and shirts) for his rehab sessions, WE had to be at
    the hospital to help him move, WE had to move some of his personals
    that could not be taken in the ambulance, WE are now responsible for
    all his wash (this hospital does not do that) plus WE are paying for
    his telephone and television.
    
    I'm sorry that I'm getting irritated here, however, when I start
    talking about how little she has done to support her own son, I get
    really exasperated.  And she claims that when he's ready to come home,
    she wants him to go with her.  He told me that he would prefer to come
    with us.  What a dilemna!  That means that I will have four children in
    my home, compared to her one (which is 21) plus my full time job, and
    she works part time.  I worry constantly about how I'm going to do all
    this.  
    
    Well, sorry for the sour note here, however, her lack of support,
    interest and care has left me aggravated MANY, MANY times and just
    trying to discuss it bring the blood to a boil.  
    
    I do appreciate your concern Judy, I just wish I had better things to
    say.  
    
    Tommy, by the way, is THRILLED with the new hospital.  He's much
    happier and says he's getting A LOT MORE COMPANY than he did before. 
    This makes us happy too.  We will find out more later on this week as
    to what his rehab entails, but, for now just knowing that he's happier
    is good news.
    
    Thank you again, my notesfriends, for your concern!
    
    God Bless!
    
    Estelle
      

fat fingers cancelled my last attempt at reply!!!!

Estelle, many hugs to you and your husband and to Tommy!  try not to let the
bit... I mean birth mother get you down.  Tommy is over 21, yes?  and at this
point considered competant?  (as opposed to when he was unconscious, I mean)
So he should be able to make his wishes known?  Good luck with these yukky
issues.

God bless YOU Estelle -- you are wonderful.

Sara

    	Estelle,
    
    	Thanks for the update.
    
    	How wonderful it would be if more parents were as caring
    	as you.
    
    	Glad to hear that Tommy's happier where he is now.
    
    	Keep smiling.
    
    	Continued prayers,
    
    	Scott

    What Sara said.
    
    Estelle, even in your righteous anger at Tommy's birth mother, you were
    able to give us a very positive report on how Tommy is doing and how he
    is feeling right now. That speaks volumes for you. He is so lucky to
    have you and his father who care about him. As for the problems,
    remember the old adage. This too shall pass. It will.
    
    Love and hugs and continued prayers for you all.
    
    

    Estelle:
    
    Sorry it has been so long in writing!
    
    
    I read your update and thought this:
    
    	All of the controversy about Moms, birth, adoptive, etc., your
    story proves that just because a woman gave birth doesn't make her a
    Mom.  In this case YOU'RE A GREAT MOM!
                                      ---
    
    Tommy is so lucky to have his Dad and his Mom (YOU!)
    
    
    Jackie
    

    ANOTHER UPDATE!
    
    Just to let all my friends know, Tommy is progressing VERY well.  We
    had a meeting 2 weeks ago with all of his physical therapists, nurses,
    etc., etc., etc., and the information they gave us about Tommy was MOST
    encouraging.
    
    First of all they believe that they can rehabilitate him in order for
    him to be able to live on his own!  Of course he will need continued
    therapy for some time, however, I never imagined that this was even
    possible.
    
    His target discharge date is 'sometime' in January, which will be 10
    months and 2 weeks after the accident.  Tommy has really taken charge
    of his own therapy and is also now responsible for contacting agencies
    and whatever to make plans for his future.  He is able to get around in
    his wheelchair quite well and is up and out of bed approximately 3-4
    hours a day.  He is learning how to take care of HIMSELF quite well. 
    Every step is painful and long, but, he has a good attitude about it
    and is willing to keep trying so he can be independent again.
    
    I really can't believe that he might be able to live out on his own. 
    This to me is another miracle in itself! 
    
    I've taken a major step back in this situation since Tommy's bio-mom is
    willing to step in and take him in should he decide to go live with
    her.  I felt so guilty leaving my own children every Sunday to run to
    the hospital to support my husband, as well as, Tommy.  We went months
    without our usual Sunday family dinner and I felt as if what we did
    have left at home was falling apart.  Therefore, I stay home 2 or 3
    Sundays in a row and get caught up on what's happening under my own
    roof.  I cook my huge dinner and by the time it's done my husband is
    back home and we all relax.  I also take time for my dad who is
    critical with cancer.  We learned of his ailment just 3 days before
    Tommy's accident.  He is literally melting away before my very eyes and
    I need to be with him too.  
    
    Needless to say, I will be glad when this year is over.  It's really
    been a tough one.  However, your kind words and support have made it
    bearable!
    
    Thank you again, my notesfriends!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    
    Love, 
    
    Estelle
    

    What Wonderful News Estelle!
      Being able to live on his own must be wonderful news for Tommy as
    well!  It is amazing how far he has come in really a relatively
    short period of time (I know, I know, it hasn't seemed *short* to
    you!).  It's also very nice to hear Tommy's attitude seems to be
    great here!  That's one of the hardest steps!  Luck and Love to
    you and yours!  And hugs anytime you need 'em!
    
    bright blessings,
    -HA

    Oh, Estelle, you and your family have gone through so much anguish
    this past year.  I'm very glad that Tommy's future is looking so
    much brighter, and I hope that you understand what a large part
    you had in making that possible.  Please accept my best wishes for
    a bright and hopeful future for yourself and your entire family.
    
    						Ann B.

    Estelle,
    
    Brilliant news about Tommy.   Sorry to hear about your dad.   Your 
    family have had a very tough year.   Here's hoping and praying
    next year will be wonderful for you all.
    
    
    Bernie