Conference turris::womannotes-v3

    I shop late - usually _start_ the 21'st. Wrap on the 24th.
    Listen to the soundtrack from ET while I wrap gifts. Visit
    some close friends Xmas afternoon for turkey dinner (they're
    both DECcies -plenty of turkey :-) )

    On the fourth Monday before Christmas Eve, we set out a wreath and four
    red candles.  Counting down to Christmas, on Monday 1 we light one
    candle, put on some Christmas music, and my husband reads from Luke 1 
    (verses 5 through 25, I think) about Gabriel's annunciation that 
    Elizabeth would bear John (the Baptist).
    
    On Monday 2 we re-light the first candle, and light a second, and my
    husband reads from Luke 1 about the Gabriel's annunciation to Mary that
    she would bear the Savior.
    
    On Monday 3, you've got it!  Three candles burning, and my husband
    reads about the birth of John.
    
    When Monday 4 arrives, we light all the candles and my husband reads us
    the Christmas story in Luke 2.  Did I mention the Christmas music?
    Also, after the reading we indulge in our traditional frosted Christmas 
    cookies.
    
    On Christmas eve, we have supper early:  NE clam chowder, cornbread,
    and pickles (yuck, but my family loves them).  We then take a couple of
    plates of cookies and go spend the evening with some very dear friends
    (who have plates of cookies for us, too).  Upon our return home, we
    light all the candles (the four around the advent wreath, and all the
    others), and in their light (and that of the tree) my husband again
    reads from Luke 2, after which one of the children read sfrom 3rd Nephi.

    .2 continued.  How I did that I'll never know.  In attempting to
    correct read sfrom to reads from strange things occurred...
    
    Let's see now, it's Christmas Eve, Husband has read from Luke 2, Child
    has read from 3rd Nephi, ah yes!  Then I read 'Twas the Night before
    Christmas (officially known as, I believe, A Visit from Saint Nicholas,
    by Clement Moore), offspring hang (or hangs) stocking(s) and off to bed
    she/they go.
    
    In spite of the fact that we only have one live-in child, and she is
    15, we still put out cookies for Santa and carrot sticks for his
    gallant reindeer.
    
    Funny, I could go on and on about our Christmas traditions:  what we
    serve at Christmas dinner, the card and giftwrap area, the ornaments
    (past, present, and future), trimming the tree, how we celebrate New
    Year...  just one more for now (and I'm regretting that I didn't enter
    it earlier this week in case someone might have liked to adopt it...)
    
    On the evening of 5 December, offspring in residence set out a shoe,
    neatly polished.  6 December is Saint Nicholas' Day, and early that
    morning (s)he checks out the shoe and consults the list of behavior. 
    If the child has been good and the shoe is neat and clean, it is lined
    with a bright red or green napkin and filled with candy.  If the child
    needs to work on behavior, or the shoe is not well-kept, small sticks
    and/or a lump of coal remind her/him that there's still time to improve
    before Christmas.  (No, switches and/or coal have never showed up in my
    children's shoes, and no, they're not really *that* perfect!)
    
    This, and the advent wreath with red candles (and ribbons, but we don't
    always add those) are German customs, ones which have added a lot to
    our celebration as they have become family traditions.
    
    Just how much such traditions can mean was brought home to me
    yesterday, when I received a call from Security telling me I had a
    package in the front lobby.  When I got there, there was a beautiful
    red and green basket, filled with pine, flowers, cones, shiny red
    ornaments, and a red velvet bow.  The card read, I enter with misty
    eyes, "Happy Saint Nick's Day and thanks for the wonderful
    memories.  I love you.  Lisa"  (Lisa is my first-born; she lives with
    her husband in Georgia, and how I wish they lived in New Hampshire -
    shoot, I'd settle for any of the New England states!)
    
    aq
                                   

	Perverting the subject a bit, I thought I'd tell you about our weirdest
holidays traditions. :-)

	1) The annual holiday craft frenzy.  I do crossstitch, crewel embroidery,
sew clothes, make dolls, crochet, knit, you name it, if it's "crafty" there's a 
good chance that I do it.  There's also a better than even chance that I have 
at *least* one project of it going during the months of Novemeber and December.
I make stuff all year round, but the frenzy really sets in around Nov. The 
closer we get to Christmas the more I want to make to decorate the house or to
put under the tree or in a stocking.I just keep adding things onto the pile to 
make.  The classic example of this is the year that I decided *one week* before 
Christmas to crosssitch elaborate different cuffs for stockings (which I hand 
quilted) for *6* people.  (Almost did it too!  Got 5 done and my sewing machine 
broke on the last one on Christmas Eve!) 

	2) The annual Bad Christmas Music Festival.  What Christmas would be 
truly complete without hearing at least once, Mahalia Jackson's massacre "O Holy 
Night", Bing Crosby's scooooop through "White Christmas", or Elvis's version of 
"Here Comes Santa Claus", and so on.  They have the fascination of a bad 
accident for Gary and I.  :-)


Ho!Ho!Ho!
Tracey  

    
    watching 'mr. magoo's christmas carol'
    

    
    re .5:
    
    Reminds me of my all-time fave Christmas program:
    
    "The Grinch Who Stole Christmas"
    

    re: .6:  :-(  I missed The Grinch last night.  My favorite!
    
    We have a lot of Christmas traditions that have been fading in recent
    years due to lack of enthusiasm of the involved parties.  (It doesn't
    seem as fun anymore without kids/without being a kid.)  The lack of
    them, though, makes me depressed.
    
    Anyway, we usually get and decorate the tree a couple of weeks before
    Christmas.  We exchange ornaments every year (since I was in 3rd grade)
    (me, my mother, my brother, and any SO's present)  and we have each
    aquired quite an assortment.  So many, in fact, that we have totally
    abandoned the classic glass balls, etc, because there is just no room! 
    Decorating the tree is a family affair, and we reminisce with each
    ornament that goes up.  (Remember the year you gave me this? Yeah, that
    was the time...etc.)  After ornaments comes tinsel, and my mother is a
    tinsel fantatic...each strand must be placed individually, draped over
    exaclty one branch.  Takes a long time and is frustrating, but looks
    fantastic.  A number of years ago we found *bubble lights*, a tradition
    from my mother's childhood, so we have adopted that.  People comment on
    how interesting our tree is.  (No tree this year, and Mom has informed
    me that she isn't getting me an ornament. :-( )
    
    Christmas Eve usually consists of a nice dinner, to which we invite any
    "randoms" we know (friends who don't have a family to spend Christmas
    with, or whatever).  Then we go to the First Unitarian Society in
    Newton to sing non-sexist Christmas Carols and light candles and see
    people that we only see at Christmas.  When we come home, we open
    "outside presents", ie: those presents that are from people who aren't
    spending Christmas with us - distant relatives, aquaintances, and the
    like.
    
    Christmas morning, traditionally (hasn't been this way since Daniel and
    I were kids...ie: a couple of years) Mom would give us a time we could
    wake her up.  Daniel and I would wake up at the crack of dawn and open
    our stockings (usually stuffed with snacks and little toys and
    knick-knacks.)  We would force ourselves to wait till exactly the time
    specified by Mom, and then go wake her up.  Mom would then usually
    force us to wait till after breakfast to open presents, just to
    frustrate us!  Present opening was not the madhouse some people
    have...each present is opened one at a time.  One person is delegated
    present-distributor, and everyone watches and the person openning the
    present opens it, and then people ooh and ahh, and then we go on to the
    next one.
    
    Christmas this year will be entirely different.  Oh well, old
    traditions pass and new ones enter.  (On Christmas day this year I will
    be flying to New Mexico.)
    
    D!

This year I found a card called (on the back) "Three Wise Women." 

The picture is of three African women walking along, wearing long bright 
dresses, carrying things on their heads, the middle woman with a baby on her 
back. Under each woman is a word: Gold, Frankincense, and Myrrh.

There's no message inside.

The description on the back says the card is published by a group called 
"the Anti-Apartheid Movement which campaigns in solidarity with those 
struggling in South Africa and Namibia in their fight to end apartheid."

I found it at the Unicorn Bookstore in Arlington.
                                
Dorian

    My tradition is going to Boston on the weekend before Christmas to see
    Mom and Dad and the rest of the family and then on Christmas Eve
    going to Jean's sister.  Then Christmas morning is with Jean and the
    kids.  It's a great way to extend the holiday and not feel rush to see
    everyone.
    
    denise

    re .7
    
    What, in the name of hermes Trismigestis, is a nonsexist christmas
    carol? What is a sexist christmas carol? 
    
    Confused of Marietta

	The UU church often uses version of carols that instead saying "Lord of
all" say "Source of all" or "humanity" instead of "mankind", don't call God "he"
and so on.

	I never really realized how gender biased church music was until I saw 
how much had to be done to it to "fix" it.

A fellow UU.

Tracey  

    We always have a crafts/ornament making party and invite friends
    over to make clothespin dolls, dough sculptures, and whatever else
    their imaginations can do with dried plants, felt, candy-canes,
    glue, etc..  This all originated with a big box of my Grandmother's
    supplies for making the dolls.  She died about 7 years ago, but
    during the last 20 years of her life she made a living selling
    paintings and crafts.  The box has feathers, beads, and since she
    did mass production there are dozens of doll skirts trimmed in lace
    and clothespins with the faces painted.  It reminds me of her workshop
    which was floor to ceiling shells, stones, beach glass, and other
    materials she worked with.  Friends usually leave their creations
    behind, and we put them on the tree and in subsequent years think
    of our friends who made them.
    	Linda

    
    Watching 'The Grinch Who Stole Christmas.'
    Watching 'Santa Claus is Coming to Town.'
    Watching 'Charlie Brown's Christmas Special.'
    Avoiding 'Frosty the Snowman' (it makes me cry).
    
    Going for a snowy walk with my family to look at the neighborhood
    lights and decorations, taking a dear friend I've known since she 
    was 4 (she's 16 now) out for pasta, setting up a nativity scene I
    have been responsible for since early childhood ...
    
    Carla
    

    telling people that i want to watch all those listed in .15,
    and turn them into drinking type occasions (fer example, take
    a gulp each time word 'Who' is mentioned, or each time the
    Grinch is mean to his dog), and then absolutely failing to
    do this.
    
    i mean....i often watch the shows, but never get plastered.
    sometimes there is not even any alcohol on the premises, never
    mind any in my hands/mouth/stomach/brain.
    
    

    I coordinate a time when one of my grown daughters and her family
    can go with us to see the lighting display at Temple Square.  (The
    Mormon Temple in Salt Lake has one of the ten best in the nation.)
    Afterward, we go out for hot chocolate and goodies.  No matter how
    many times we see this display, it's always impressive.
    
    The family also watches George C. Scott in "A Christmas Carol" every
    year.  He does the best portrayl of Scrooge I've ever seen.
    
    Barb
                    

    
    Writing and sending Christmas cards.  I think this is a very
    civilized tradition.
    
    Seeing the Boston Ballet perform The Nutcracker with one of my best
    girlfriends each year (we're going tomorrow night :-) ).
    

    Well, let's see. 
    
    There's the "eat out on Christmas eve" tradition, started in order to
    save doing dishes that night. We try to find a Chinese restaurant to
    eat at, since, in the town I grew up in, the only restaurant open on 
    Christmas Eve was Chinese. (It was Cantonese, actually, and we don't
    always stick to _that_ part of the tradition. I must admit that having
    a large Szechuan dinner on Christmas Eve plays merry hell with those
    visions of sugarplums.)
    
    There's the "at least one puzzle" tradition, in which *somebody*
    (sometimes "The Family") has to get a jigsaw puzzle, which everyone
    will help assemble (while spilling bits of pumpkin pie on it).
    
    There's the "cute children's book" tradition, instituted around the
    time that we kids were in college; somebody gets a kid's book ("Bedtime
    for Frances" was a big hit), and must read it aloud to the company.
    Since we now have an actual child in the family for the first time in a
    decade or two, I don't know how this tradition will fare - I expect
    we'll read the stories just the same, and let the 1-year-old pick up on
    'em as best he can.
    
    There's the "fill the stockings" tradition, originally upheld by Mom
    and Dad; as each kid reached the age of Being Able to Stay Up Late
    Enough to Catch Them At It, said kid was enrolled in the
    stocking-filling. Nowadays, we try to assemble tiny gifts, toys, etc.,
    sometimes including significant (but small) wrapped presents, so that
    everybody has a hand in filling the stockings, but nobody knows all the
    secrets of what they contain. Whoever's hosting the gathering gets to
    do the actual tiptoe-ing around to hang the stockings - each of which
    *must* contain one orange.
    
    There's the Advent Calendar tradition; my grandparents used to send us
    one each year, and we delighted in hunting for the correct little
    number and opening the window. I buy my own now, and have quite a
    collection, as I can't bear to discard the ones I really like; but I
    try not to run more than two at a time!
    
    There's the "how many different people and things can we think of to
    have presents from" tradition (subscribed to much less now that we're
    most of us grown up, and either on limited incomes or unlimited
    mortgages!). Lists of olden days included "From Mom", "From Dad", "Mom
    and Dad", "Santa Claus", "Jack Frost", "The Cats", "Kris Kringle"...
    Well, you get the idea.
    
    And my own personal tradition: lying under the Christmas tree, looking
    up at the lights through the branches, and remembering where - and 
    who - I was during all the previous Christmases...
    
    -b

   Every year I get one new ornament to remind me of something special that
   happened that year (Beth Rust won't be surprised that last year's was
   a miniature Miami Heat basketball player :^)  Makes for a lot of nostalgia
   decorating the tree.

   Kathy

	
	When I was small, my mother would read the Christmas story from the 
	Bible to me on Christmas eve.  We opened gifts on Christmas morning
	after my grandparents and godparents arrived, so to keep me out
	of their hair for a while, my parents left a stocking with small
	toys in my room on the foot of my bed.  I could open this and play
	with the toys thus affording my parents an extra hour or so of
	sleep.

	Nowadays, I have Thanksgiving dinner for my parents and godparents -
	my folks host Christmas (less chance of snow in Southern Mass.).

	My own traditions include a feast for friends about a week before 
	Christmas - an evening that combines decorating my tree, opening
	gifts with friends, and sharing good food and wine.

	The tree is largely decorated with rocking horse ornaments - every
	year I try to add two or three to the collection...

						clb
 

    
    Prompted by a couple of replies in the "Christmas traditions
    we hate" note:
    
    To each their own, but personally, I love big, loud, happy
    family celebrations at Christmas time.  And the more, the
    merrier.  No one's excluded.  Nor do I wish anyone to be,
    even the aunt I dislike and the sister I still fight with.
    

    I love that my family --parents, 3 brothers, 2 sisters-in law, 1 sister
    and brother in law, 2 neices, a brothers' SO, myself and my son, ALL
    get along and look forward to spending special time together during
    Christmas.
    
    I really like being a part of the live Nativity scene at my church.  I 
    started when I was 4 years old and was the littlest angel...now I stay 
    inside and help with costumes and such, but always go outside and 
    watch and hear the Christmas story and music...it's awe inspiring.
    
    I really like turning all the lights out except for those on the
    Christmas tree...it's mesmerizing, kind of like looking into the flames
    of a fire.
    
    I really like knowing that some people get involved in helping others at
    Christmas and enjoy it so much they continue it all year long.
    
    I love knowing that Christmas is a celebration of the birth of the
    Savior of the world and that even though Santa Claus and buying
    presents is fun they are really separate from the true meaning of the
    holiday.
    
    I really like getting time off from work...
    
    
    HAPPY HOLIDAYS!!  SINCERELY!
    
    ann

    I love sitting in my office surrounded by gifts for six local needy
    kids.  My group donated money and this morning I took the wish lists
    and shopped.  I haven't felt this good about myself in ages!!!
    
    Sue

    
    	On Christmas Eve my brother's godfather and his wife come
    	to my parent's house for a Christmas toast.  Myself and
    	my (now) husband are also there.  Tom and Sue naturally 
    	purchase a gift for my brother but they also want to make
    	sure that I'm not left out and purchase me something also.
    	My parents and they usually exchange bottles of scotch, my
    	dad's fave drink.  We chit chat for a while, talk about times
    	gone by etc. and then they go home and we hit the hay.  It's 
    	nice and quiet and comfortable.
    
    	JJ
    

    
    Re: .19 - an orange in every stocking
    
    When I lived at home my sister and I ALWAYS had a satsuma (little
    orange) and a 50p piece in our stockings.  I now live with my husband
    and last year (our first Christmas living together) he asked my Mum for
    a list of things which normally went in my stocking, and he did me one
    .. complete with satsuma and 50p piece!  It was lovely!
    
    Sam
    

    and one more tradition: a good friend posted (in another conference)
    an excellent essay on Xmas and how an atheist celebrates the season.
    I re-read it every year.
    
    Unfortunately he's in electronic purgatory and I haven't been able
    to obtain permission to reprint it. I will give pointers on request.

    Please give me a pointer to the nameless essay by your nameless
    friend.
    
    						Ann B.

    Christmas Eve, I put on my soft silks and light the candles and read
    aloud THE SECRET GARDEN to as many children as I have about me. Warm
    cider, hot chocolate, molasses cookies and pound cake figure
    prominently as well.
    
    I also go to midnight mass and have a midnight feast of croissants and
    kolaches and fruit and cheeses with champagne and coffee afterward back
    at the house.
    
    Christmas Day, Rick and I travel to Marblehead to spend the day with
    Jean & Walt [my aunt and her ex-husband] and Jack & Betty [my second
    cousin and SO] -- my family of choice.
    
      Annie