Conference turris::womannotes-v3

538.0. "EXPERIENCES THAT HAVE SPECIAL MEANING.." by ASIC::WELCH () Fri Nov 16 1990 10:28

In writing to a friend last night, I began to tell her about 1 of 2 wonderful 
"happenings" in my life......When I realized how much they mean to me, I decided
to tell the "World" about them, for they are more important to me than I ever
realized.......

At FXO, we have a small, but quite lovely Fire Pond out back, among the trees, 
and (at times) in the sun.  I began working at FXO in late May, and when I did
the resident flock of Canadian Geese there had only recently had their Spring
hatching, and 2 or 3 "Mom"s were parading proudly around with their beautiful
chicks behind them......It made my heart warm to watch them, and I began to try
and see them every day......Eventually, having MUCH stale bread around the house
I thought what a great place to get rid of it, instead of throwing it away, and
began bringing it into work with me to "feed" the geese......For some unknown
reason, I began to "call" them every day as I went over the hill......I probably
sounded then (and still now)like an "over-the-hill" retard, but it just came out
(complete with pseudo_French accent)as "'Allo, Babeeeez"......In not too long a
time period, whenever I called them, they began moving toward me in a large
block, knowing that I had "goodies" for them......One day, they were all out on
the pond when I got there, called them, and I laughed and cried as they began
to turn, again as one body, formed a "swimming" "V", and steamed as a little
"Armada" toward me.......

I have continued to be with them, every day, in spite of being warned off by the
Plant Electrician, and various other people who didn't love enough or understand
at all, until......alas.......the cold weather set in a couple of weeks ago.....
Then I got lazy.....or cold.....or too broke to buy bread.....or....all of the
above.......so haven't been with them for about ten days.....I tried feeding 
another flock of totally wild (unbanded, aggressive and very skittish)geese here
on my pond at home last Sunday, but it just wasn't the same.....They didn't 
"talk" to me, nor come out of the water, and it just wasn't the same......Last
Friday....was it just a week ago????......I entered a "black hole" of dispair
out of which I really never thought I could totally crawl out ......With the
help of some new and old wonderful friends and family, I pulled up a little bit
from the "hole", only to slip back again each day......It seemed I would never
smile again.......

Yesterday, the weather was so beautiful, and I was alone for lunch, so I went to
the pond again......Had a few rolls and stuff to feed them, but not much...I
wasn't even sure they would REALLY remember me after almost two weeks.....As I
came over the stone wall and down the hill, there they were.......My 22 
"Babies" (as I call them).  Once again, I called them...."'Allo Babeeze......"
And, God Bless them......as always, they turned as one body and began walking up
the hill to me.......I sat at the picnic table, tearing up rolls and throwing
the pieces out.........They "talked" to me and I "talked" to them...Light little
nothing noises, but ever so comforting........They came closer, and closer.....A
bit of digression here......There is one older goose, a banded one, that I call
"Honker".......He is (I think he's a he), who has gotten very used to eating out
of my hand......But, he is only one regular "Hand Eater"...... He's my pal,
and I love him....  Yesterday, I had bits of bread of my flat, extended hand,
instead of held out beyond the extremeties, and as three of the unbanded
"Babies" came closer, I thought "What the hell....Let's see what happens!"  So,
I held my hand, quiet and steady, and they all came up to me and ate directly
from my hand......They missed the bread and got my fingers instead quite a few
times, but it didn't hurt....In fact, it felt great.  The tears flowed quite 
freely, and I came to realize how very much I had missed them in the past 
couple of weeks......

I spent an hour with them yesterday, and I came away healed with love......I had
been grieving their loss to me, for a while, and only by renewing the love I
have for them, and I feel they have for me, did the "black hole" truly disappear
from my shoulders.......I knew they were important to me, but I never knew HOW
important.....My daughter and I went shopping last night and picked up three
more loaves of bread......I won't miss being with them again, no matter how cold
it gets, or how snowy.......As long as they are there, I will be......I am going
to buy some feed to keep in my car for over the winter, to be sure they get
enough of the right stuff to eat.....Wendy is going to help me get it, and as I
hear these "Babies" don't migrate anywhere over the winter, perhaps my healing
will stay with me.......How can I be lonely when I have their love and their
need........

They call me "Mother Goose" at FXO....those who know me and understand.....and 
it is a name I treasure.........So, now I am planning on how to dress, what to
bring with me every day, and be sure I spend some time with them every single
day.......I may not be able to stand spending an hour every day when the snows
come and the winds blow, but my Soul needs their love.......And, I like to think
they need mine......It's a two way street......I give to them, and they give to
me.......Beautifully, warmly, unselfishly........I won't fail them or me again,
I promise......

This is a lot longer than I had planned, so I'll save my other "happening" for
another day and another "book".......

Suffice it to say, I love them, and I love all of you, my new friends here.....
You have all helped me immeasurably to see, once again, that where love is....
family is not far away......and you are all becoming family to me......

With all my heart.....I thank all of you......

Barbara

    Barbara, 
    
    Thanks so much for sharing your story with us...what a wonderful,
    heart-warming feeling this has given me...and I found my tears finally
    come over something that I have been holding back with for a long, long
    time!
    
    Thanks for the story, and for breaking me down a little...
    
    Hugs,
    
    Jill
    

    Thank you, Barbara, for the sharing and honesty in your note.  It
    seems that it is during those "dark nights of the soul" that we
    are most prone to discover the love that we might otherwise have
    never discovered.  Be grateful for these painful times.  It makes
    the quality of the happy times so much better.
    
    Hugs,
    Barb

Nice story!  Thank you very much for sharing it with us...

john

    Mother Goose...Thanks for the heart warming story.   As I sit writing
    this I have tears built on the edges of my eyes.  Ooops there falling
    now. What a beautiful story!!!!       
    
    Deb V.

    
    
    	What a wonderful, heartwarming story.  Thanks for sharing
    	it.
    
    	JJ
    

    
    
    That was a very nice story...
    
    One of my most hearwarming experiences was saying goodbye to my aunt
    (who raised me). She was dying of cancer and we knew it wouldn't be
    long. We sat on the couch watching "Old Yeller" and holding hands. My
    eyes started to fill up and I felt a terrible loss. At the time, the
    cancer had moved to her brain and she had what is referred to as
    aphasia (sp), she could speak but the words came out all jumbled like
    "The cat went to the store to get ice cream"... However, her mind was
    totally intact (very frustrating!) Anyway she looked at me squeezed my
    hand and slowly, with a very determined look on her face said "I
    K-N-O-W, I L-O-V-E Y-O-U, T-O-O"
    
    I'll never forget it, or her.

    
    
    Oh, I thought of another one...
    
    When my nephew Zachary was born I had been dying to see him. After a
    week or so I went over the house and his mother put him in my arms.
    Suddenly his eyes opened he gave me a big smile and promptly burped and
    farted at the same time. 
    
    He just turned four last month and we spent all Friday night reading
    Pinocchio, and the Jungle Book, eating chocolate ice cream and....you
    guessed it burping and farting! Yes, I do have some class!
    
    M

    My five year old son Shane and I were snuggled on the couch watching
    The Land Before Time.  It's an animated story about a baby dinosaur.
    In one scene, he loses his mother.  Well, I cry at commercials, so of
    course my tears were flowing for the poor little guy's dilemma.  Shane
    cuddled closer, fixed me with those beautiful deep brown eyes of his
    and said, reassuringly, "Don't worry Mommy, you're not going to die
    for a LONG time!"