| Well, what I know about "handfasting" comes from the pagan/wicca
tradition...also known as trysting. Trysting differs from "modern
marriage" on many different levels.
First, a tryst is a way of joining two people's spirits together in this
life and all others. It is not about "ownership" or sexual monogamy. The
promise is about being there for each other and taking care of each other,
even if you have other lovers. Nor it is a vow of..."until death do
us part," trysting is a bond stronger than death.
There is a part in the ceremony where the trystees offer food and drink to
each other (not like the, in my opinion, debasing gesture at a 'traditional
marriage' where the bride and groom shove cake in each other's faces and
everyone else laughs). The trystees prepare a tray of edible plant type
things...something to represent the roots, stems, leaves and fruits of
plants. When the trystees offer food to each other it is with the blessing
of, "may you never hunger," and when they offer drink to each other (from
chalices specially selected for the ceremony, the offering the blessing,
"may you never thirst." "Wedding" rings are not symbols of the tryst, the
chalices are the true symbols of the tryst because chalices are the symbol
of pleasure (tarot/2 of cups).
Friends can be trysted if they feel very strongly about their caring and
loving commitment to each other. Lovers can be trysted. But it is a very
serious promise to make to another person, either friend or lover, because
with the promise goes the belief that this joins the spirits together
(which is significant if you are a person who believes in either
reincarnation or that our energy/spirit exists on some plane even after
death.
As reference, see Z Budapest's book, The Holy Book of Women's Mysteries.
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