Conference turris::womannotes-v3

    I agree about the holidays. I'm vewry much a loner, but don't feel as
    though I can back out of going to my sister's for Christmas and New
    Year's dinner, because I have 2 children who spend Christmas with me.
    At least the closest weekend to it. They all come over for
    Thanksgiving. I live with my mother and she does the whole bit for
    turkey day. If I had my way, I wouldn't even put in an appearance. The
    best Thanksgiving I've had in the last 6-7 years was 1984. It was the
    first one after my divorce and my kids couldn't be with me. My mother
    went to my sister's and I was invited but politely said no thank you.
    Because it was so soon after the divorce, they didn't push it. Anyway,
    Zayre's was opened and I went shopping and to a movie. I think some
    burger joint was opened and I ate there. I was very content and felt at
    peace with myself not having to put on a front and all. I haven't had a
    holiday that was that much fun since. 
    
    Plus I can't afford a heck of a lot. I pay out a good piece of my check
    for child support and can't afford to buy a lot for presents. No, I've
    never missed a weekly payment in 6 years and have never been more then
    a week late and doubled up on the next week. Don't anyone say anything.
    She left me for a guy with money and can afford to let me slide on
    weekends when I have the kids or it's their birthdays and I want to buy
    them something. I hate to rant but the whole holiday thing just sets me
    off.
    
    Phil

    re.0
    I remember what it was like being a single parent.  I had two kids and
    things were real tight.  One of the things that I did with my kids was
    to tell them that they could only ask santa for one gift. They
    understood real young that I didn't care what "the other kids did". 
    That way I could concentrate on the one gift instead of a list. If
    there was any "extra" money then I would get something else. 
    
    There are inexpensive things that you can do for the holidays for your
    family and friends. Make things, either crafts or food gift items. For
    families with kids, you can make popcorn balls and wrap them in colored
    celophane, tie them to a styrofoam ring like a wreath, Make breads in
    fancy foil pans. I can think of a hundred things you can do
    inexpensively depending on your imanigation and skill level.  These
    projects will also not give you time to sit around and be depressed.
    KEEP BUSY, busy people don't usually have time to get depressed. A lot
    of the activities can include the children. My kids were decorating
    Christmas cookies while sitting in the high chair. 
    +pat+  
    

    Some of  my  favorite presents have been quite inexpensive. One of
    our  favorites is a recipe and something useful for it, an unusual
    spice,  an  appropriate  pan  ...  Another favorite was a bunch of
    kitchen  accessories, with a "packing list". The "nose warmer" was
    a melon baller, the "back scratcher" a spaghetti server and so on.
    All wonderful presents and not too expensive.

    According to  today's Wall Street Journal, retailers are expecting
    people  to spend a lot less this year than last year, which should
    lead to some good sales before Christmas.

    That's the  practical  info,  emotionally, it can be really tough,
    and all I cn offer is moral support.

--David

    Christmas time is one of my very favorite times of the year, it didn't
    used to be, but I made it be in the past and I still MAKE IT the best
    ever, every year!.
    
    We started something in our family years ago and it made it a happy and
    sometimes funny time.  We still exchange gifts, but each year
    everyone's name is put into a hat (kids included) and you draw a name. 
    Whoever you got you have to MAKE a gift for them.  Could be very
    inexpensive, simple, whatever YOU want.
    
    One year my husband didn't know what to make for my Dad and I gave him
    a great idea, he made a "digital" calculator.  It was a board about 10
    inches by 6 inches with 5 holes in it that you put your fingers
    through.  Around one hole he glued a piece of yarn tie into a knot
    (Memory key) he glue a razor blade by one hole (subtraction key) etc.
    Simple stuff, easy stuff, anything you want.
    
    I also make sure that I am the Chairperson of our Annual Subdivision
    Food Drive.  We collect food for the needy for Thanksgiving and
    Christmas.
    
    I also do the "Make a Wish" thing, where needy children are asked what
    they would like for Christmas.  It breaks your heart, one year a boy
    asked for mittens and a hat.
    
    I make sure that if they ask for a shirt or sweater, or pants, I get
    everything to go with it.  Shirt, pants, underwear, sweater, socks,
    etc.
    
    I make sure that I help others, because to me the feeling I get is
    better than any present I could ever get, and I LIKE THE FEELING!
    
    
    Christmas is for GIVING!
    
    Jackie
    
    ;-)
    

    
    I'm not a single parent, so I have different issues. But I am from a
    single parent home, and I can assure you, Christmas is a holiday that
    causes a lot of stress in my family as we try our damnedest to see
    everyone and offend no one.
    
    I used to get tons of presents, and there came a point where the
    presents just didn't help to lift the gloom. Once I lost my love for
    them, I felt like I'd passed through some adulthood ritual. The
    presents are far more fun for the givers now, and we give them more
    than we receive them. Which means I have to learn to receive
    graciously. I'm working on it.
    
    Me, mom and sis have been getting together for the last several
    Christmases. Decorating the house on a shoestring within two days is
    always a fun adventure. We just save everything and re-use it year
    after year. We've had tree parties for a long time. I had my first
    Christmas party last year, to get me in the mood, and it REALLY helped.
    It was relatively cheap, too. I'm not saying you should give one unless
    you can, but try to go to a couple where you have VERY close friends.
    
    We also really get into making food, planning the menu, chowing down,
    taking pictures, decorating the table, and "playing festive". We
    usually end Christmas with a movie or a game.
    
    If my general story doesn't help, here are some ideas:
    - pull from your childhood some old favorites. Games, stories, movies,
      plays, poems. Plan to enhance your Xmas week with those activities.
    
    - invite a friend or two to join you in your ventures. It will help you
      discover that you're not alone in the struggle to find Joy in
      Christmas.
    
    - go to craft shops, etc, and look for small ingenuous things to fill
      stockings with that are inexpensive. Chocolate kisses, small plastic
      toys (Toys 'R Us has an entire section of my old favorites, most of 
      them run around $2-6).
    
    - Hunt down the Nativity scenes. Take your child on long drives and
      pick out the best decorated houses. Have your co-workers tell you where
      they are and go look at them. Make a route/map if you like.
    
    - Make food with your child. Gingerbread houses, decorated cookies are
    fun. Let him/her eat as much dough as is reasonable!
    
    - You can also make your own decorations with food coloring, cornstarch
    and cookie cutters. They look like cookies but last for years. Its as
    fun as making cookies, and far more lasting. You can invite extra kids
    and have a contest.
    
    - Another fun contest is popcorn stringing to make garlands for the
    tree. Its as much fun to eat as it is to string. And the garlands are
    pretty and "bio-disposable"! :-) Just use a needle and thread.
    
    - You can probably borrow fun recordings at the library of Alvin and
    the Chipmunks singing Christmas songs. Or, take your child caroling.
    (Again, its nice to go with people you know, 4 of you is sufficient to
    be a small piece of a big crowd.)
    
    - Scent the house with spices. CVS has CHEAP spices (99 cents for large
    jars.) Throw them in a pot, smell up the house!
    
    These are a few ideas. I hope they aren't too expensive. Many of them
    have been the high points of my Christmases past. Best of luck.
    
    'ren

    I too have been a single parent for a long time and I've always hated
    this time of year because of the commercialization.  But I try to shop
    for Christmas all year, buy one thing [if I can] every 4-6 weeks.  It
    takes the curse off enough so that I can concentrate on things my
    daughter would want.  Very early I told her that she should concentrate
    on one present, and if I had any extra money I would see what else was
    appropriate.  But I also made and still make a lot of gifts - between 
    sewing, needlecraft and ceramics I get a long of hand crafted items done.
    I love to cook but I can't bake if my life depended on it, so now my 
    daughter does the baking.  And she's good!  But we have a family
    tradition that we do on Christmas eve, and then she's with her dad on
    Christmas Day.  I always said that if I didn't have my daughter I 
    wouldn't even put up a tree.  
    
    I could go from October right into January with no problem, but folks who 
    *love* this time of year don't understand what the other half of the 
    population go thru.  But do what works best for you.  Others can give
    good suggestions which might help (some good ones here).  I found it
    easier when my daughter got older and understood.  I've even made gifts
    for her friends!  But I just stay out of the stores more at this time
    of year.  And when I do have to go into the stores, I have my list, go
    in and get out as soon as possible  Be good to yourself.  We, who 
    understand what you are going thru, are only a mail message or phone 
    call away. 
    
    Jane
    
                                      

    ie; .0
    
    Annie, it's true that the world/stores have made Christmas a season to
    make money from, but remember Christmas is a celabration of Christ
    birth. It' also time to share with those who have nothing or little.
    When you feel down around Christmas time take a good look at your 
    family and friends and you will see you have been blessed. Material gifts 
    mean little, but love means everything.
    
    I hope you have a truly good Christmas, God bless
    
    Bill
    

re.8

excuse me, but ...

isn't it always "time to share with those who have nothing or little?"

  <alia> Annie

    re; .9
    
    Yes, we should share with others all year, not just Christmas.
    
    Bill