Conference turris::womannotes-v3

    re .0 I tend to keep my mouth stuffed with turkey and tune out
    the religious stuff :-)
    
    In another conference a friend wrote an eloquent note on how
    an atheist celebrates Christmas. Re-reading it is my own
    personal 'tradition'. Pointer on request.
    
    Dana

    
    My own personal "problemette"...
    
    I spend Christmas with my parents, and stay on for a few days
    afterwards. On Boxing Day (December 26th) there is traditionally
    a hunting meet in the village where they live. This is where all
    their friends go with their children, and it's a social gathering....
    a chance for them to "show off" their children (I'm pleased they're
    proud of me!)....
    
    I am anti-ANY animal violence and most certainly anti-hunting.
    I've even been known to act as a "hunt saboteur", so you can gather
    that I feel pretty strongly about this. And my parents are aware
    of my views.
    
    Each year I agonise over whether to cause yet another argument....
    
    'gail
    
    
    'gail
    

    
    Re .1
    
    Pointer requested!
    
    'gail
    

    
    Every year I try to enjoy Christmas -- there's a lot about "the season"
    that I find enjoyable.  Most years I just manage to keep my nose above 
    water, so to speak.  The family members that I am closest to 
    (location-wise) get caught up in a buying frenzy, so I stay out of that.
    I try to "do my own thing" as much as possible, avoiding the situations
    that I thnk will be troublesome and doing what I find enjoyable.  My 
    involvement with family is usually only for the day itself.
    
    CQ

    I've always had problems with the Xmas season, being Jewish; as a child
    I felt invisible and put-down, as an adolescent I got mad (whaddya
    mean, isn't Channukah my Christmas!?!?!?) and as an adult some of those
    feelings still are unresolved.
    
    But then I went and married a man from a Catholic family!  Now, he and
    I agree about religions in general, but Christmas got a whole lot
    harder for me, and hard for the first time for him.  Before kids, we
    just went to both families' celebrations, and stayed out of religious
    observances (we still do, for the most part).  But when the kids were
    born, Bob resumed his old pattern, which is that he turns five on
    December 1 every year :^).  Though there were some difficulties of
    adjustment for me, and there is still the battle against commercialism
    every year, but I have come to be able to see the child's enjoyment of
    Christmas, which I had never been able to before.  That's the part we
    focus on, and on the family gatherings.  No one pressures us about
    religion (they know better anyhow).
    
    Now if only I could hear the sleigh bell, just once!  But I think I
    will not; I'm just glad I can see my children's faces when they heard
    it.

    I just wish I still had parents to spend the holidays with.  My father
    is dead and my mother completely senile and is unable to comprehend
    that it's Christmas or Thanksgiving.
    
    I find it very hard not having any parents, or a husband or being in a
    relationship at the holidays, which will be the case this year.
    
    I'm already planning to sleep late on Thanksgiving and then go to a
    movie by myself.  I guess I can survive without eating turkey on
    thanksgiving.  My daughter will be going to my ex-mother-in-laws with
    her father.
    
    Christmas morning I'll exchange gifts with my daughter but then she'll
    want to be with her boyfriend the rest of the time, and she'll have to
    go to her grandmothers for awhile.
    
    Such a big deal is made out of spending holidays with family that it
    does make you feel left out when you don't have people to spend it
    with.
    
    Lorna
    

              
                           
    Consider this your official invitation to both Thanksgiving and
    Christmas dinner, and general holiday "hangin' around, Lorna.  All
    you need is a couple of plane tickets to Utah (or you can make it
    one way if you want;)).
    
    While I'm at it, everyone's invited!  Just let me know how many
    there'll be ahead of time.  (Maybe a new "Let's Get Together for
    the Holidays" topic should be started to get people together for
    these tough moments in time.)
    
    Hugs,
    Barb 

    
    Lorna,
    
    you could always accompany ~robin and I on our cruise during
    Thanksgiving week!
    
    Carla
    

    Lorna, 
    I would invite you to my house, but I don't know if I could stand the
    way you say you pick all your food apart. :-) :-)  Seriously though, I
    always have open house for holiday meals.
    
    +pat+

    At our house, I have the honor of being "the parents."  Other than
    preparing the traditional holiday fare on Thanksgiving, and something
    a lot easier on Christmas, I am very laid back and let everyone
    do their own "thing."  We don't do anything religious, since we
    no longer are religious in a traditional sense, but we do enjoy
    being together and sharing a family tradition.  We make it a point
    to invite people we know who have nowhere to go, so frequently have
    at least one or more extra guests around for the day.
    
    On both Thanksgiving and Christmas, breakfast is a free for all
    with cereal being the preferred choice.  The main focus is on an
    early dinner--about 1:00--for the entire family; then, we catch
    up on current family news and/or watch a video especially chosen
    for the day.  The children and grandchildren usually play, so we're
    rarely bothered and can visit to our heart's content.  For me, the
    hardest part is cleaning up everything that doesn't quite get cleaned
    when everyone is around.  I find that a terrific jolt back to reality
    and the fact that the holiday is over for another year.  Somehow,
    I keep waiting for the enchantment of the season to reappear as
    I age, but so far it hasn't.  Maybe during my second childhood...
    
    Barb

    
    Barb, having met you and one of your beautiful daughters, I can
    only imagine the warmth and energy that permeates your home on
    special holidays.
    
    you must light up Salt Lake City!
    
    Carla
    

    
    
    i am looking forward to spending thanksgiving with family this year!
    
    (-;
    ~robin

    
    Did a quick skim and found these:
    
    Human_Relations
    169 - the holiday blues
    446 - Christmas family tensions
    624 - dreading the holidays
    911 - holiday blues?
    
    -Jody
    

    RE: Carla's note_
    
    :)Thanks, Carla!  I don't know about lighting up the town, but I
    do a reasonably good job "stuffing" it;)  If you've got nothing
    better to do, swing down this way and join us.  I've got a daughter
    who lives in the Tacoma area who may want to come, perhaps you could
    join her.
    
    :)Barb

    I live in Colorado. Many of our friends have family in California, 
    New York, Minnisota...Well we all get together for Thanksgiving.
    Last Thanksgiving it was 15 Adults, and 15 or 16 -under 20's-
    Every one brings stuff and one person -usually the persons whos
    home we are at- is responcible for the turkey. We eat and watch vidios
    and talk and eat and play cards and it was really neat to get to know
    my friends teens-my daughter will soon be a teen- I made five pies last
    year 3 Chocolate Pecan and 2 pumpkin. 
    
    I think one of the best things about the holidays is family. And My
    Family has grown so very much!!! My family seems to grow every time
    I make a new friend. I think that holidays are the best time to have
    all my friends and family arround. Have a small party or a large one.
    Or invite yourself to a good friends house. In my experiance two or
    three added guests is no problem and usually adds to the enjoyment of
    ALL my loved ones. 
    
    I am finally getting stuff moved around my house so that large areas
    of space are showing up. -my husbands hobby was collecting stuff to
    fill the empty space in his house. I am still trying to get him
    to relise that some of the stuff can go now that he has a wife and
    kids. The best I have been able to do is convince him that there just
    is no room for his family to sleep when they visit if we dont move 
    some of the stuff out of the house to somewhere else. Since trashing
    the stuff was not an option in his eyes a lot of it was moved to a 
    storage room at a local U-STORE-IT. I wont let him bring it back into
    the house.
    
    Now I can plan some larger activiies this year.
    janet
    

    There are *plenty* of volunteer opportunities during the holiday
    season.  A chance to give something of yourself to someone who will
    truly appreciate it.
    
    Judi
    

    Join us, Lorna, we'd welcome you!  I live in Merrimack, NH.
    
    Hmm, I haven't read the string, but I'll bet that this is one of many
    sincerre invitations.
    
    aq