Conference turris::womannotes-v3

    
    sorry, they're confidential.
    

    I've often wondered why the sex difference when it comes to restroom
    grafitti.  Most women's restrooms I've been in don't have any grafitti
    at all.  I'm told that most men's restrooms do.
    
    About 15 years ago I was in a women's room at the UC Berkeley campus
    student center which was covered with grafitti.  But most of it was
    very beautiful poetry dealing with life, love, peace, sorrow, etc.  
    Some of it made me cry and want to hug the person who wrote it.  I wish
    I had written some of it down.  There was almost no really lurid stuff.
    
    Mary

    
    sometimes I do write women's graffiti down, and sometimes I just
    try very, very hard to memorize it, usually to no avail.  I have
    seen heartbroken introspection and tawdry taunts.  and once in a
    while, when I happen to carry a pen, I add a bit of my own.
    
    Carla
    

    Well, I guess I've been frequenting the wrong restrooms, because I've
    seen some really filthy stuff written in the stalls of some ladies
    rooms.  It's difficult to imagine that anything much worse could be in
    the men's rooms.
    
    Lorna
    

    
    One day about a year ago, I had a job interview and was feeling kinda
    nervous about it.  I went into the bathroom and saw the lesbian
    (two o-+) symbol -- it made me feel a lot safer.  Hey, it was in
    MK1-1, the women's room near the lobby -- if you're out there,
    thanks!
    
    Justine

	As the old joke goes...

	Don't let the women fool you - there's even more graffiti in women's
rooms - they have both hands free.

>As a male person, I'm familiar with most of the graffiti that appear in
>men's rest rooms.  

As a female person, I'm familiar with the graffiti in both ... cause
when I was young and rude, I would pop into both, F for need, and M
out of curiosity when no one was around, or when the F line was too
long, and M was zero. 

My observations:

In grubby bars and donut shops, the graffiti tends to be 
crass in both.

At the Big Think departments of universities, the graffiti 
tends to be wonderful. Long 'conversations' in many different
handwritings. I recommend Physics, Mathematics, Philosophy, 
and English, in that order. The only F/M diff, the conversations 
in the M room seemed to go on longer.

The Agriculture department (Southern Illinois University) 
had pristine walls. Chemistry was pretty clean.

As for gross graffiti in F rooms, the ratio of "I love" to
"I hate" is about ten to one. Are there aren "I love's" in
M's rooms? I don't remember any.

And why is gross graffiti almost always written in big scrawly 
D-in-penship letters?  Maybe they were drunk?

Confession time: As a high-school sophomore, I wrote "Duncan Hines 
died here" on the picture window of the local tough kid hangout.

Finally, I like the little 1 X 2 chalkboards in the ZK F rooms.
Anyone know how they got there?

I've seen the following in several women's restrooms, for many years:

"If men could get pregnant, abortion would be a sacrament."

In true graffiti fashion, sacrament is often misspelled.

Vicki Meagher

    
    Re .8
    Yes - the best (most thought-provoking, intelligent) strings of
    graffiti I've seen were in the library at my University.
    I used to go in there just to read them - some were conversations
    between intellectual Amazons that went on for months!
    
    Re: U.S. wmns graffiti
    I haven't spent much time in American wmns stalls, but the one I did
    get a good look at (Carla - what was that "lipstick" bar in Seattle?)
    impressed me mightily! I kept going back in to read some more....
    
    And I've been known to add my own too, occasionally ( guess this should
    go in "True Confessions")....
    
    'gail

    The most alarming, yet at the same time reassuring, graffiti I've ever
    seen was in the F restrooms at Brandeis University when my daughter and
    I visited there while she was trying to select a college.  The graffiti
    dealt with  advice and statistics re. rape on the campus, and at the
    same time informed the reader about where to go for help.  A FWO
    bulletin board telling it like it is.
    
    Karen

    "Disarm Rapists" is a popular one.  There is good graffiti in the
    women's restroom in the Harvard Science Center.
    	Linda

    In the  computer  science  or  math department at Weslyan, in both
    men's  and women's bathrooms is (was?) a copy of "The Toilet Paper
    Paper" by Donald Knuth. It's a fairly heavy mathematical modelling
    paper about what fraction of the time both toilet paper rolls will
    be  empty  as  a  function  of  how often they're checked, and the
    distribution of people's choices for which roll to use (always the
    largest, always the smallest, near, far, choose randomly ...)

    It always struck me as very appropriate.

--David

    I see the same kind of restrooms Lorna hangs around in . . . 
    
    --bonnie

    The restrooms here in ZK have no graffiti that I have seen, only
    occasional ramblings on the chalkboards.
    
    In malls and gas stations and other public bathrooms, the most common
    graffiti I have seen is in the form of JANE LOVES JOHN, usually in a
    heart or something else cute.  Also, random insults, like "Jane is a
    slut and John sucks c*ck."  Nothing terribly exciting.
    
    D!

    Whenever I am in a restroom that has large amounts of the xx + xx
    in a heart variety, I whip out my pen and scrawl:
    
               Jean Paul 
                  +         in a nice big heart with an arrow.
                Simone
                4-ever  
    
    This to commemorate when Satre and de Bouviour (sp?) were invited
    to Cornell (my alma mater) and when they arrived discovered that
    they were housed separately because, despite a long term live-in
    relationship, they were not married.
    
    They left without spending the night.
    
        Margaret

	re: 440.11 (Karen Godin)     -< FWO bulletin boards >-

	> A FWO bulletin board telling it like it is.

	Karen, that sounds like a FWO flavor of a primitive form
	of =wn=!!

						nancy b.    

    
    seen in a coffeehouse restroom yesterday evening, written on
    a condom machine in the women's bathroom:
    
    	"why is this in here?  let men take responsibility for a
    	 change!"
    

    >"why is this in here?  let men take responsibility for a
    >         change!"
     
    Oh this is very frustrating!  And I am SOOO happy whenever I see a 
    condom dispenser in a women's room.  To me, a condom dispenser in a 
    women's room indicates that we are finally allowing women to take
    charge of their own sexuality and *not* wait for the men to do what
    the women need to do.  that women are upset about this is infuriating! 
    If you won't take charge of your own health and safety, at least let
    other women make that choice for themselves!
    
    Besides, the woman probably doesn't realize that not all uses for
    condoms involves men.
    
    D!        

    
    I agree, D!  While I can't imagine needing to buy a condom in a women's
    bathroom (and I must say I am curious but much too shy to ask about what
    you meant about alternative uses :-), I'm always glad to see them
    there.  A number of straight women I know have been too embarrassed
    to buy condoms in a store, but maybe in the privacy of a women's
    bathroom, they might....  STDs can be prevented with a little piece of
    latex; let's make it easy to get!
    
    Justine

    I remember one incident in college when I would have been glad to
    buy a condom from a vending machine anywhere . . . 
    
    We did eventually find one (condom, not women's bathroom), and I
    have to admit the long search, which became almost a quest, did
    add a sort of mythic dimension to an otherwise uninteresting
    evening . . .
    
    --bonnie

    
    They use them to keep the sand out of the rifles in the Persian Gulf...
    ;-)
    
    D.
    

    A coworker reading over my shoulder says they make great water
    balloons . . .
    
    --bonnie

    In the 1940's there was a gas station owner (male) who was asked by the
    oil company after an inspection of his station to remove the condom
    machine from the ladies room as it was inappropriate.  The owner
    replied, "Hell no! I make $100 a week from that machine and there's
    never been a condom  in it."
    
    I love this story, because it points out women's reluctance to complain
    about losing their money in a condom machine, and one man's use of that
    to victimize them.
    
    Mary
    

    Seriously.  In the interest of safe sex, this seems like a good thing
    to pass on:
    
    A condom, cut open, makes a handy replacement for a dental dam.  (A
    dental dam is one of those latex sheets dentists use, but in this
    context they are used to prevent exchange of bodily fluids during oral
    sex with a woman.)
    
    Sorry if this is too graphic, but I think this sort of information
    should be dissemminated wherever possible.
    
    D! for safe sex

    re .25, Oh.  I'm glad I'm not the only one who had no idea what you
    meant.  I don't know if I'd even want to bother doing it if I had to
    use something like that.  I can't imagine it would feel the same. :-(
    
    Lorna
    

    
    some other fun graffiti in the coffeehouse discussed favorite
    Brady Bunch episodes.  one woman's choice was when Davy Jones
    sang at Marcia's prom.  long live the Monkees!
    
    where these women come up with topics like this is amazing ...
    but definitely makes for interesting reading.
    
    C.
    

    RE: .26
    
    No, it probably would not feel the same, but it would feel.
    Sometimes that's good enough.   :^)
    
       Margaret 

    re. 26  I have heard it said that using a condom during sex is like
    taking a shower with a raincoat on.... but better with a raincoat on
    than no shower at all.
    
    Jeff

    Maybe it's just cause Colorado Springs is weird but at the women's room
    in the UCCS library building much of the grafitti seems to be christians
    and lesbians fighting. Neither side is fond of the other to judge from
    what is said. None of the other buildings on campus seem to have much
    in the way of bathroom verse. Maybe it's cause the women's center is in
    this building just down the hall from the bathroom. Maybe it's just two
    individuals having a private battle, I've never seen any mentoin of it
    in public like the school paper. liesl

    Last week I saw a film on cable that showed an interesting use for
    condoms. It was THE BIG RED ONE, a WW2 film. At one point in the
    movie, the American squad runs into a French woman who's in labor,
    and there's no doctor about, so the squad medic has to deliver the
    baby. There were no rubber gloves around for him to wear, so the
    other guys opened a bunch of condoms and stretched them over the
    medic's fingers.
    
    On the flip side, a friend of mine keeps feminine napkins in his
    first aid kit. When asked why, he replies, "What better to use to
    sop up blood from a wound than something made to absorb blood?"
    
    --- jerry

    Speaking of Condom Machines-Last night we took my in-laws out to dinner
    and My four year old came into the bathroom while I was changing
    the two year old. Hes hanging on the part of the machine
    where the money goes and finally asks me for a quarter.I said no.
    He asks me again and tries to bribe me with "I'll let you look 
    at the prize If you give me a quarter". I said No again, vaguely
    wondering why he would want money here. At the time I was to busy
    taking care of the rash on Johns bottom to be as amused as I later 
    got when I "out of curiosity" went to look at the machine to see
    what kind of 'prize' he was talking about. 
    
    My mother-in-law got a good laugh when I told her.
    janet 
    
    

    
    only in WOMANNOTES will a discussion on WOMEN'S graffiti turn
    into a discussion of something a man stuffs his penis into.
    
    Carla
    

    Only in Womannotes do I feel slammed for liking men . . .
    
    --bonnie

    At one job I had as a teacher, there was one particular stall
    in the ladies room where there was a lot of grafitti. As time
    went on, the 'conversations' between various file users, one
    of whom was fairly radical lesbian, one a very free living 
    heterosexual woman and one a very conservative religiously
    oriented woman, (plus other minor contributors) got angrier
    and raunchier..
    
    Finally one day the whole stall was scrubbed down and repainted..
    the conversation never started up again, but it had been very
    intertaining to follow for several weeks.
    
    BJ

    
    	Well, it certainly isn't only in Womannotes that women are severely
    	pressured to be sure they don't ever say anything that could even
    	REMOTELY be regarded as anything less than 100% respectful to men
    	without worrying that the whole damn universe will collapse.
    

    
    Gee, I like some men...in fact, I have more male friends than female
    friends.
    
    Can I still note here?
    
    Lisa

    
    	RE: .38  Lisa
    
    	Well, I've committed a bigger sin than you have.  I brought a
    	<gasp> man into the world 19 years ago.
    
    	It's a wonder I haven't killed myself over the horror of it.
    

    I probably overstated my annoyance . . . I'm sorry.  
    
    A condom's a device used to prevent conception and the spread of
    disease between members a couple having intimite relations, not
    necessarily male-to-female.  More often than not it goes over the
    male member, although notes here have mentioned putting it over
    tongues, fingers, and rifles.   
    
    Since the condom is the easiest and most convenient form of
    protection from pregnancy and disease that's easily available
    without advice and consent from a doctor,  it's part of many a
    woman's life, especially the woman who enjoys sexual contact
    outside a committed relationship.  
    
    Men are part of many a woman's life.  Men are an important part of
    many a heterosexual woman's life, a positive and enjoyable part of
    a good sex life.  
    
    So talking about these things, even though they are related to
    men, is an important part of my life as a woman.  I don't think
    the simple fact that for the most part the man wears the condom
    makes it off limits for discussion among women.
    
    And this whole discussion does sound like something that would be
    written on the walls of the stalls in the philosophy department...
    
    --bonnie

    
    	RE: .42  Bonnie R.
    
    	>  I probably overstated my annoyance . . . I'm sorry.
    
    	Thanks.  I'm sorry if my response came across a bit too
    	sharply as well.
    

    
    Where does the word come from anyway? Is it Italian?
    
    D.

    	RE: .43  Herb

    	Honestly, I wasn't avoiding you - it's not easy to find the
    	words to explain what I meant (beyond what I said in the note.)

    	I've since apologized for stating things a bit too sharply, so
    	it may not be wise to rehash it now.

    D.
    
    My dictionary says it is Italian.
    
    BJ

    I'd like to continue the discussion of condoms and birth control in
    topic 458.
    
    D!

    "grafitti" is Italian and is plural, the singular being grafito
    
    manisha

      And it means "little scratchings," according to my Webster's
      dictionary.  It can refer to artistic as well as vandalistic
      scratchings.
         
         --bonnie

    singular = grafito.
    
    It's from the Latin "graphium" and Greek "graphion" or "graphein,"
    all of which means "to write."
    
    (It's easy to sound eruditic when you look in the dictionary.)
    
    Bruce

    G'day,
    
    I hate spaghetti, canneloni, vermicelli, graffiti and all other italian
    food!
    
    
    derek
    

    I found this on the ferry to Martha's Vinyard....
    
    "There is no peace without first a clear commitment to peace...."
    (there were several more lines but they'd been washed off pretty
    thoroughly....)
    
    "You are a possibility!
     You are a possibility in the world!
     Smile and love yourself!
     Love others!
     And see it come back to you!
     Does it ever!"
    
    And the standard four "Sherry loves Jimmy" type things.....
    
    -Jody
    

    In a Nashua restaurant, in letters I couldn't always read:
    
    "Misha from Kiev says hello and thanks you for the wonderful fall
    colors in your fine state."
    
    --bonnie

    
    in a women's restaurant in Portland, Oregon:
    
    		quality men support women's equality
    

     	
    	Reminds me of a favorite phrase and bumper sticker of mine...
    
	"A man of quality is not threatened by a woman seeking equality."
    
    	-Erik
    

    Seen on a white board in my daughter's dorm last weekend:
    
                      War is mensturation envy.
    
    
    Karen

    
    HA!  I love it!
    
    using blood for warpaint,
    
    Carla
    

    
    actually this is, courtesy of a friend, from a men's room...but I think
    most men's room graffiti may not have this thought provoking feel about
    it....
    
    "the further we go
     the older we grow
     the more we know
     the less we show"
    
    
    -Jody
    

    
    I went to the restroom at Denny's in Worcester, MA and found graffiti
    in at least three languages (English, Arabic, German).
    
    bizarre, but very cool.
    
    -Jody
    

That reminds me. I once wrote (eek! did I really deface a bathroom wall?
well, only once. or maybe twice. and it was a long time ago) on a bathroom
stall at college "Semper ubi sub ubi". I returned to the scene of the
crime several weeks later to find messages in about 25 different languages
and one short note in my native language: "Would you _please_ write
in English?"

<grin>

    Well, it's not *women's* graffiti, but in a men's room at Northeastern
    University about 20 years ago, there was a graffito written in the
    rune system used by Tolkien for THE HOBBIT. I copied it down and
    translated it after getting home. It read: "If you can read this,
    you're in the wrong century." :-)
    
    --- jerry