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Conference turris::womannotes-v3

Title:Topics of Interest to Women
Notice:V3 is closed. TURRIS::WOMANNOTES-V5 is open.
Moderator:REGENT::BROOMHEAD
Created:Thu Jan 30 1986
Last Modified:Fri Jun 30 1995
Last Successful Update:Fri Jun 06 1997
Number of topics:1078
Total number of notes:52352

395.0. "mother's reaction to daughter's actions" by POETIC::LEEDBERG (Justice and License) Fri Sep 21 1990 18:55

	Lorna has been mentioning the trouble she is having dealing with
	her daughter, who is a teenager.  I would like the make this 
	string a place where mothers can express the anger and hurt
	they have felt or are feeling coming from their daughters and
	let each woman know that it isn't just her and her daughter.

	_peggy

		(-)
		 |
			Greta moves in to the dorm on Sunday - finally...


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395.1Greta and I....POETIC::LEEDBERGJustice and LicenseFri Sep 21 1990 19:2249
	A number of =wn= have met my daughter Greta - she is "my 
	daughter" for sure.

	She lived with me off and on during her teens (more on than
	off) and she nearly drove me to a breakdown (this is not an
	exeration).  We had many, many loud and angry fights about
	stupid stuff.  I even hit her once (she took my car to see
	a friend in Hudson MA - she was only 15 and no license) she
	had gotten me so angry.  Through it all we never hated each
	other, it only sounded that way and looked that way.

	Now when we talk about those years - she does not know what
	made her act the way she did - she knows now and she knew
	then that she was doing very dangerous stuff and did not care.
	Part of the problem was that I did care and I tried to make
	her care about herself.

	I still carry the pain of those fights with me, though somehow
	I can look past them and remeber all the good times we shared
	during those years.  The most pain I have is that Greta is 	
	more than a daughter to me, we share talents, interests and
	personality and yet she is also like her father.  And it is
	when her likeness to her father surfaces that we fall back into
	the old trap of fighting.  

	Greta is in California (going to college at Callornia State U
	in LA) and when I visited her in August we talked about how
	like her father she is and how that can drive me up the wall.
	Well, low and behold, it also drives her up the wall and she
	is trying to understand why it does.

	We have both separately come to the same conclusion that our
	fights are based on her being like her father in ways that
	clash with her being like me and with me being who I know am.
	So we both work at recognizing what is happening when we start
	in on the other.

	It has been a long and bumpy road with her and it is no where
	near the spot where it is paved.

	_peggy
		(-)
		 |
			Who ever is 
			Thy Mother's glass 
			Can also be
			Thy Father's glass.