Conference turris::womannotes-v3

384.0. "Men's Groups, FYI" by VAXUUM::KOHLBRENNER () Mon Sep 17 1990 14:24

This is a copy of a memo sent to all Spit Brook Road (ZKO) residents.
It's entered here for your information.  It is also in MENNOTES, topic 504.  
** This activity is for Spit Brook Road employees only. **
Perhaps there are similar groups at other facilities?

Bill


                                      Date: 10-Sep-1990
                                      From: Bill Kohlbrenner
                                      Enet: VAXUUM::KOHLBRENNER
                                      DTN:  1-1303

    To:  All Spit Brook Residents

    Subj: MEN'S GROUPS FORMING AT SPIT BROOK

    You are invited to attend a lunchtime meeting, at which
    a group of men will present a plan for the formation of
    various groups to address men's issues in the workplace.

    	When:  Monday, September 24, 1990, 12:00 noon
    	Where: Babbage Auditorium
    	Who:   All Spit Brook residents 


    BACKGROUND
    ==========

    In the past months, a few men have been meeting to do some
    brainstorming about ways in which men can communicate and 
    support each other in and out of the work environment.   
    This initial work was done by men from line organizations
    and personnel.

    One idea that came out of our initial work is the creation 
    of men's groups, which can be used to re-examine the roles 
    of men in the workplace and in society in general.  In these 
    groups, men can meet and discuss a variety of issues 
    confronting them.  Here are some of those issues:

       Anger          Friends            Relationships
    
       Change         Isolation          Strength

       Control        Lack of Time       Success
  
       Fathering      Nurturing          Vulnerability

       Fathers        Physical Image     Work


    For example, men have been heard to say:

       "I no sooner get one thing under control and running
        smoothly, when a new problem crops up."

       "I like being strong and capable; do I have to give 
        that up?"

       "I felt isolated from my father when I was growing up 
        and from other men as an adult; men can't really get 
        very close, anyway, right?"

       "I'm told to relate to people, to value differences, 
        and to be a team player, but what does that have to 
        do with me?"

       "I have one house, one spouse, but we have two jobs, 
        two cars, two schedules, and two sets of relatives; 
        I'm already overloaded and expected to do more."

    We envision the creation of a Spit Brook Men's Forum.  The 
    Forum would be an umbrella group that would continue to 
    examine men's issues in the workplace and to foster efforts 
    to address those issues.  (One such effort would be lunchtime 
    seminars.)

    Other efforts are the formation of two other types of men's 
    groups at Spit Brook: Core Groups and Support Groups.  Short 
    descriptions of these groups are included at the end of this 
    memo.

    These ideas represent a starting point and should not be seen 
    as cast in concrete.  Much of this work will take shape as 
    more men begin to participate in the Forum.  We need your 
    energy and your ideas.  If any of the men's issues listed 
    above sound familiar to you or if you are curious about other
    topics that might be explored, we invite you to join the Forum.

    The Forum, Core Groups, and Support Groups are for men, but 
    the lunchtime seminars are open to Spit Brook men and women.  
    In the future, we envision participating in the formation of 
    groups of men and women to address gender issues.


    MORE DETAIL ON THE INITIAL MEETING
    ==================================

    Again, all Spit Brook employees are invited to this initial 
    lunchtime meeting.  This is the agenda for the meeting:

     o  Introductions
     o  Video tape (excerpts from a tape by Robert Bly/Michael Meade)
     o  Descriptions of the planned men's groups
     o  General discussion

    Detailed descriptions of the Forum, Core Groups, and Support 
    Groups will be available.


    SHORT DESCRIPTION OF A MEN'S SUPPORT GROUP
    ==========================================

    A men's support group is six or seven men who choose each 
    other in a way that emphasizes compatibility based on a 
    shared situation or shared experience.  A common situation 
    might be dealing with mid-life issues.  A common experience 
    might be the loss of a spouse or child.  

    A support group might meet once a week over lunch.  The 
    intention is to form a close group of friends with whom one 
    can share the large and small happenings of life without a 
    feeling of being judged or corrected.   The group does not 
    focus on trying to solve problems.  Each man still owns his 
    own situation, but does not feel so isolated in it.

    The degree to which a support group focuses on an issue is 
    up to the members.  Some groups consciously adopt issues, 
    others simply deal with issues that come up.

    The Spit Brook Men's Forum assists in forming support groups, 
    and will provide guidelines for starting and sustaining a group.


    SHORT DESCRIPTION OF A MEN'S CORE GROUP
    =======================================

    Core Groups were developed by Digital Corporate Valuing 
    Differences (Vd).  These groups are made up of six to ten 
    people, are led by a trained facilitator, and focus primarily 
    on the "core" values concerning race, gender, and sexual 
    orientation.  A core group meets for one full day (or half 
    day) a month and requires a one year commitment.

    Core Groups are often formed to do specialized work.  Under 
    the Spit Brook Men's Forum, Core Groups will be all male and 
    will examine only the male gender role (men's issues).  
    Groups will use the following Vd philosophies:

      o  Group membership should be as diverse as possible.
    
      o  An individual group member focuses on his assumptions 
         and stereotypes about men.

      o  Group members "own their own stuff" by speaking only 
         about their own thoughts and feelings (generalizing 
         about "all men..." is discouraged).

      o  Group members should at least be meeting job requirements
         in their last review and should notify their management 
         about their participation in the group.

      o  The facilitator is trained by attending the Corporate
         sponsored Core Group Leadership Forum.

      o  The facilitator should bring all discussions around to
         talk about how these issues affect workplace performance.

    The Spit Brook Men's Forum assists in forming men's core groups, 
    and will provide more detailed information on core groups.

    MEMBERS OF THE START-UP MEN'S FORUM
    ===================================

    Chris Counihan     John Ferguson     Gerry Fisher 
    Bill Kohlbrenner   Joshua Lublin     Jon Parsons