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Conference turris::womannotes-v3

Title:Topics of Interest to Women
Notice:V3 is closed. TURRIS::WOMANNOTES-V5 is open.
Moderator:REGENT::BROOMHEAD
Created:Thu Jan 30 1986
Last Modified:Fri Jun 30 1995
Last Successful Update:Fri Jun 06 1997
Number of topics:1078
Total number of notes:52352

383.0. "A Place to Praise Someone Special" by WMOIS::B_REINKE (We won't play your silly game) Sun Sep 16 1990 18:52

    This is a note to write about someone special in your life
    who you want to tell other people about. This can be a spouse,
    a child, an SO, a good friend, a lover, a relative etc.
    
    Bonnie
T.RTitleUserPersonal
Name
DateLines
383.1My husbandWMOIS::B_REINKEWe won't play your silly gameSun Sep 16 1990 18:5621
    Right now I want to tell the world what a wonderful man I have married.
    Without his support we'd have never bought our farm in the country
    or tried to survive in an ecologically sound style for years. I still
    recall when he had to haul wood to heat the house by sled or
    carry buckets from the temporary outhouse when the septic field
    froze.
    
    He has been wonderful with helping our�children with their home
    work and problems (as well as supporting my dream of a large
    family by adoption)!
    
    He is also my best friend and lover (blush) and some one who matters
    terribly to me.
    
    My reason for writing this right now, is that he is sick from
    food poisoning and I've been thinking that I've not often said
    what a wonderful man he is.
    
    :-)
    
    Bonnie
383.2Hope he's OK real soonGIDDAY::WALESDavid from Down-underSun Sep 16 1990 19:417
    G'Day,
    
    	Are you sure you're not just feeling guilty about your cooking
    Bonnie :-).
    
    David.
    
383.3Thankyou to .2 and the mail receivedWMOIS::B_REINKEWe won't play your silly gameSun Sep 16 1990 21:1111
    David,
    
    It was from a package of smoked salmon that a friend of ours gave
    us. We'd had some for dinner last night, and it was really good so
    she gave us some more.
    
    The second package had turned.
    
    Bonnie
    
    p.s. Have you noticed that a =wn= photo albumn is finally in the works?
383.4Hope to see it soonGIDDAY::WALESDavid from Down-underSun Sep 16 1990 21:5419
    G'Day Bonnie,
    
    	Yes I did and I look forward to seeing it!  I suppose it will take
    a while to get all the photos together and to convince some people that
    their photo should be in it.
    
    	When the album is ready I'll ensure that as many Aussie noters see
    it while we have it.  Unfortunately Dale Mynott became a victim of the
    staff cutting measures so she is no longer with us but at least she
    managed to visit the US and meet everybody in person.  It seems that
    these days all Australian =wn= members are male - a sad state of
    affairs!
    
    	In keeping with the topic of this note I guess I should be praising
    you and Lorna for putting up with my constant whinging to get the album
    happening.
    
    David.
    
383.5BIGRED::GALEDittoMon Sep 17 1990 00:2824
    Praise...

    ... For a very best friend, who seems to ring my phone when I need her
        most, who seems to know when I'm down, and seems to know just when to
        say what. My life would not be the same without her, and I'm so glad
        her path crossed mine, for it was her path that I took at times,
        when mine was so screwed up, and the reason mine is so enriched. 

    ... For my girls, who give me a reason to want to come home from work
        everyday.

    ... For a certain male that crossed into my life, he is always there,
        sometimes not as often as I'd like, but when its important, he seems to
        know, and comes through for me. He was there to get me through a very
        rough period in my life, and without that, I don't know where I'd be
        today. He was the one that lent me money to get an apartment when my
        marriage broke apart, and without that, I probably would have not found
        such a nice place, and gotten the break I needed... for that, I will
        always be eternally grateful, and I'm not sure I've ever told him
        that.

    ... For my mother, who is always there, no matter what.

    Gale
383.6bragging on my wife is my best thingCVG::THOMPSONAut vincere aut moriMon Sep 17 1990 01:4543
    When I was young and unaware of how rare truly great people were
    I put together a "shopping list" for what I wanted in a wife. She
    was to be smarter then me (not as hard to do as I thought it was
    when I was younger I admit), strong, independent and we had to share
    the same religion. If she could cook so much the better but that wasn't
    high on the list. At the time I was pretty sure I could find her but
    less sure she would marry me.

    Well at fate would have it I found such a woman and she fell in love
    with me. (Some might say that disproves the smarter than me part. :-))

    She is much more then I ever expected though. At times she's held full
    time jobs. She's never had one where she didn't rise up in the place
    with dizzying speed. Several times she's moved from part time help
    to full time management with in a matter on months.

    She's been the primary care giver for our son most of his 12 years.
    She's done a remarkable job of teaching me to be a parent and teaching
    our son quite a bit about life.

    Right now she's working part time and going to school part time. She
    hopes to get into a masters program in counseling next fall. In the
    mean time she's gone almost 2 years without getting so much as a quiz
    or a homework with less then an A on it. Quite amazing actually. She's
    inspired me to return to graduate school though my grades can't quite
    match hers. (Only a 3.85 so far.)

    While this is going on she manages to find time to volunteer at our
    son's school. Both as a aide and as coach of the cheerleaders. She
    claims it makes her less obvious cheering for our son on the basketball
    team but I know she really likes working with the girls. (I can call
    them girls in junior high can't I?)

    She also finished a training course today so that she can work as a
    volunteer counselor for prisoners in the county jail. This program is
    designed to help prisoners prepare for re-entry into the outside world.
    
    She's my best friend, my support and the best thing that ever happened
    to me. Obviously she is quite attractive and a great cook but it would
    not matter if she wasn't because she's more then special enough
    already.
    
    			Alfred
383.7LYRIC::BOBBITTwater, wind, and stoneMon Sep 17 1990 09:5417
    praise to those who have enriched my life the most:
    
    My parents - particularly now that they're starting to really ENJOY
    life!
    
    My two best friends:
    one - a woman - a former roommate from college, who is possibly a soul
    twin of sorts (we seem so alike), and who consistently helps me figure
    out my life even as I help make hers richer simultaneously.
    one - a man - whom I've only known a few years but is consistently
    warm, comforting, honest, supportive, and caring.
    
    My mentors in writing - technically and poetically - who are helping my
    hone my crafts and fine tune my skills, gently and supportively.
    
    -Jody
    
383.8CSSE32::M_DAVISMarge Davis HallyburtonMon Sep 17 1990 13:0914
    For my husband, John.  John is my third and last husband.  As my
    brother, Bob, said to me in his indelicate fashion, "You should have
    met him first."  I concur.
    
    My 4th decade has been one of fulfillment.  John has been
    extraordinarily supportive of me, of my decisions....even those he
    would not have made for himself under any circumstances. 
    
    We are respectful of one another's privacy, so I won't go on... ;^)
    
    grins,
    Marge
    
    
383.9JJLIET::JUDYthe boomerang zoneMon Sep 17 1990 15:4336
    
    	My parents.  I wasn't an easy child to deal with.  I was
    	very selfish and independent.  But they understood me and
    	loved me enough to give me the space that I needed while
    	still letting me know that they cared and worried about me.
    	They are always there to lend an ear when I need one. Thanks...
    
    	To my husband.  One of the very few men I know that does not
    	have the word 'jealousy' in his vocabulary.  At this point
    	in my life I would say that I have more close friends that
    	are male than female.  When I call up and say so-and-so asked
    	me to meet him for a few drinks, Cary says go right ahead 
    	and have a good time.  My friends are very important to me
    	and I think that if he were to try to restrict my seeing them,
    	I'd have a hard time with the marriage.  But I know I don't
    	have to worry about that.  We are totally in love (and still
    	newlyweds) but don't smother.  I thank him for that.
    
    	For my two best girlfriends.  One from HS who was my maid of
    	honor and who I will be standing up for in her wedding.  And
    	the friend that I 'hang out' with most now.  They both know
    	me inside and out and vice versa.  I know they'll be there if
    	I need them.
    
    	And for one special male friend of mine.  We've been friends 
    	for many years and although he fell into a rut a few years
    	back and was pretending to be someone he wasn't; I stood by
    	him and was convinced that he's snap out of it.  He has and
    	we're closer now than ever.  We don't really share a lot of
    	secrets or tell each other our innermost feelings but we just
    	are able to have a good time together, chide each other mercilessly
    	without feelings getting hurt and both know that if we needed
    	someone to talk to, the other would be there.
    
    	JJ
    
383.10My parents...Mother especially!MELIUM::MAHONEYThu Sep 20 1990 16:0023
    My parents.
    Thinking as far back as I can go... I remember him riding his white
    horse and picking me up in the air and sitting me in front and going
    for a ride! I remember the patience Mother had with all of us, how well
    she cooked our meals and how much she laughed with us, she had a very
    good sense of humor and she would tell us all sorts of things that made
    us laugh so hard that we cried!
    she was there when we grew up and start dating... she was there when my
    oldest sister got married... then my brother.  She was there when
    grandma fell and broke her hip.  She took care of her for 10 years,
    till she left to live with her widowed daughter... she was there when
    my dad fell ill and nursed him to health...
    she was there at my wedding... believe or not she was my MAID OD HONOR,
    who else could fill the slot better than her?... she was there at every
    one of my children's birth... at their First Communions... and only
    death prevented her from attending my daughters' collega graduation. 
    She died at age 67, surrounded by all her children and husband, and as
    a result of gall bladder surgery...  Father was devastated, and still
    is... he never recovered from her loss... and neither I, ever.
     She was for me, the best role model.  She is also for my kids...
    she's been long gone (in body) but her spirit and her presence is
    forever with each one of us.
    God bless her!
383.11My husband SteveCOMET::BOWERMANTue Sep 25 1990 12:1231
    My husband:
    
    Today I called him at work and he dropped everything to come and help
    me fix my car(I had not even gotten to work yet.)When we relised it
    would take more that filling up the radiator(He replaced both radiator
    hoses saterday) We drove the car to a nearby friends house and I drove
    him to work and he gave me his car to use. He will find a ride home 
    this evening then we will go to our friends house and replace the
    heater hoses(thats where the new leak is).
    
    Just before I left him he said "Thank you for making me feel needed"
    I cant figure why this makes me feel better. Maybe Its because I feel
    so ridicules when I have to mess with the engine of my car(I dont like
    grease and not being able to put the pieces I want to work on in my
    lap or table in front of me. I am a craft/needle work fend and I dont
    mind fixing appliances as long as I have them on a table or shelf 
    where I can work comfortably.) Leaning across an engine and reaching
    inside a dirty -anything- is not my idea of reasonable. I pay people
    to do that kind of stuff. I will have to think of something
    extraspecial to show him how much I do appriciate his skill and
    expertise in fixing dirty complicated things.
    
    He has many other attributes and virtues and I love all of them.
    This one just happens to be the top on the list at this moment.
    P.S. In the past We have fixed clean complicated things together. He 
    will ask me for advise or to hold something for him or read to him
    while he works on our cars but I dont like doing more than checking 
    the oil or putting in the gas in the cars.
    
    
    
383.12alexey borisevitch tatistcheffAV8OR::TATISTCHEFFbecca says #1000001 is a keeperMon Oct 08 1990 20:4565
    i seldom write about men here, because after all this is my womanspace.
    
    but my grandfather killed himself today and i am sad.
    
    he liked us to call him dadushka - russki for gramps.  he left russia
    just after it became the soviet union.  he always said he left because
    of the church, but i think it had a lot to do with the fact that none
    of his family or friends were left after the revolution.
    
    he went to paris, married and had a son (boris), then went to new york. 
    on ellis island he needed to take a ferry to the city and asked a man
    how much.  "a nickel" was the reply.  grandfather's english was
    excellent and he knew nickel was a kind of metal, not a number, so
    after asking again and getting the same reply he pulled all his coins
    out of his pocket and asked which one.  the man took a 5 cent piece and
    pushed him through a gate, muttering "goddam pollack".  tatistcheff is
    not a polish name: it is one of the oldest, most honorable names in all
    of russia.  tatistcheffs are direct descendants of rurik, founder of
    russia, and made the romanovs look like upstarts.  yet in america he
    was a goddam pollack.
    
    his wife died in new york so he went back to paris to find a wife and
    mother for boris.  he married a cousin, princess agrafena troubetzkoy,
    six days after they met.  she came with him to new york and had two
    sons (peter and my father michael) and a daughter (marsha, named after
    her youngest sister).
    
    my grandparents were madly in love - the whole family said so and used
    them as an example of what "true love" was all about.  but they also
    hated each others' guts and could not bear to be near each other for
    too long.  but divorce is not a part of their vocabulary.
    
    tatistcheffs have spent the last several centuries in service to their
    country, and my grandfather was no exception.  grandfather spent his
    life working for the us government in one way or another, most of which
    we cannot know (cia was one job).  when mccarthy came along with his
    witch-hunts, the family left the country and stayed for two years in
    burma.
    
    some of his last jobs were in translation; he translated for the
    apollo-soyuz project.  he was a simultaneous translator: in one ear and
    out his mouth in a different language, and the speakers never had to
    wait for him.  when his wife's brother and nephew wrote a book
    chronicling the family tree from the mid-ninteenth century to now (and
    where all the descendants are now) he translated the russian and french
    versions to english for us.
    
    he was our family historian, and wrote incessantly after his
    retirement.  the first was a tatistcheff book, chronicling tatistcheffs
    from the time of rurik to himself.  he then wrote  several volumes of
    autobiography.  none of us have finished past the first volume or two;
    grandfather tended to be a bit pompous and self-aggrandizing.  but his
    stories were fantastic, and he is the one who instilled in me a pride
    of my name.  the only thing i want from this is a copy of everything he
    wrote.
    
    he was a profoundly religious man with a fantastic voice.  to hear him
    chant over the effigy of Christ at easter was a special treat.  for him
    to take his life this way is a horror.  he must have been truly
    despondent.  i hope his god forgave him for this final sin.  more so, i
    hope *he* forgave himself before he died.  i hope the church recognizes
    his life of faith and will give him a funeral mass and permit him to be
    buried in hallowed ground - anything else would be so wrong.
    
    lee
383.13YUPPY::DAVIESAFull-time AmazonTue Oct 09 1990 13:378
    
    RE -1
    
    Lee - I'm so sorry.
    Your relationship with your grandfather comes through to me in the
    warmth with which you write of him.
    
    'gail
383.14EDIT::CRITZLeMond Wins '86,'89,'90 TdFTue Oct 09 1990 15:0513
    	Lee,
    
    	I'm sorry about your grandfather. He sounded like a very,
    	very interesting person.
    
    	A slight tangent:
    
    	As I was reading Lee's description, I thought "how many times
    	have I [arbitrarily] decided that an older person would not
    	be interesting to talk to or get to know just because s/he was
    	much older than me.
    
    	Scott
383.15CSSE32::M_DAVISMarge Davis HallyburtonTue Oct 09 1990 21:134
    What lovely memories, Lee.... 
    
    hugs,
    Marge
383.16Ruth Edith Budinoff WittenbergULTRA::WITTENBERGSecure Systems for Insecure PeopleSat Oct 13 1990 17:4771
My grandmother Ruth.  

    As a  young  woman  she participated in the sufferage movement and
    was  jailed  three times, once because she chained herself and her
    sister  in law (who was 15 at the time) to the Washington Monument
    as part of a demonstration.

    She got  a  degree  in  mathematics at Barnard, and was one of the
    first  people  to work in mathematical studies of demography. When
    her  boss  was asked to send "his best man over" she was selected,
    causing  a  certain  amount of confusion. (She was very short, and
    probably looked young, and she was a woman, so definitely not what
    they expected.)  

    I don't  know  what  causes she was involved in when my father was
    young,  but I know that there were some. My grandparents routinely
    entertained  a lot of fascinating people and when we asked her why
    her  house was the meeting place she said "people are hungry, so I
    feed  them." She was a terrific cook (and taught me most of what I
    know  of cooking), but how she cooked for a hundred people in that
    tiny kitchen I'll never know.

    In the  early  50s  she  was  on the first New York city community
    board  which  grew into the Landmarks commision, which she chaired
    for  many years. From that I think she knew everyone in Greenwhich
    Village,  and led the successful fight to get the Jefferson market
    courthouse  converted to a library. There's a bill pending to name
    the  square  at 6th avenue and 9th St. (next to the library) after
    her.

    In her  early 60s she went south for Martin Luther King's march on
    Selma  (her  children  didn't  find  that  out for a few years.) I
    suppose  we  shouldn't  have  been  surprised as I'm told that she
    threw  someone  out  of  her  house  in the 30s when he complained
    about  her  inviting blacks to a party. We did think she was a bit
    old for demonstrations, but she had no intention of slowing down.

    When I  knew her she was always cooking huge meals for the family.
    We  went  there  every  Sunday  for  dinner,  and  she always made
    something  wonderful.  She  had  the  whole  extended  family  for
    Thanksgiving  and  didn't allow anyone in the kitchen until dinner
    was  ready.  The  kids  always whipped the cream for the pies, and
    that was our time to visit with her, while the older folks visited
    with my grandfather.  

    She was always quietly (or not so quietly) pushing us to excell at
    something. I think it bothered her that my father didn't work more
    at  making  himself  better  known. A few years ago while I was in
    grad  school she said that she didn't expect to be around for much
    longer  and she really wanted to see my get my degree. I said that
    I  had  just  earned  my  masters,  and  would be happy to walk in
    graduation  so  she  could  come and kvell. She said "No, not your
    masters, I want to see you get a real degree" (a PhD, of course, I
    don't  think  an  MD would have been acceptable.) I've talked to a
    lot  of  people  in  Greenwhich Village who have stories about her
    pushing  them  to succeed in something, and how she convinced them
    to persevere.

    She was incredibly determined about everything. Two days after she
    broke her hip she wanted to leave the hospital for a meeting. They
    compromised  by  moving  the  meeting  (of about 30 people) to the
    hospital  -  completely  ignoring  the rule about no more than two
    visitors. She was equally determined not to admit that her hearing
    was  going, and we never did get her to wear a hearing aid, though
    she  would  put  it  in  if  my  father pushed her, it didn't help
    because she had taken out the batteries.

    She never  stopped  pushing  us,  nor the Landmarks commision. She
    died two weeks ago; she was 92.

--David
383.17CUPCSG::DUNNEMon Oct 15 1990 17:564
    Wonderful story, David. What an enlightened woman she was!
    My sympathy on her passing.
    
    Eileen
383.18Kudos to Her MemoryHENRYY::HASLAM_BACreativity UnlimitedMon Oct 15 1990 19:014
    She is the kind of woman I would love to have known, David.  Thank
    you for sharing her story.
    
    Barb
383.19MANIC::THIBAULTCrisis? What Crisis?Tue Oct 16 1990 09:177
My husband - who's been a wonderful "Mr. Mom" while I've been recovering
from surgery. Now if only he could learn to fold those fitted sheets  :-).

And my mom - who helped us out a great deal the first couple of weeks even 
tho' she moved all the dishes around :-).

Jenna
383.21RAVEN1::JERRYWHITEJoke 'em if they can't take a ...Wed Oct 17 1990 05:155
    Here's how ya fold a fitted sheet .... after washing it, wad it in a
    ball - now it's folded.  When you're ready to use it, just throw it in
    the dryer on "air fluff".  Hey, it works ...
    
    Jerry (who *does* know how to fold those contraptions ...)
383.22you mean some people own more than one?TLE::RANDALLself-defined personWed Oct 17 1990 11:234
    I thought you folded them by smoothing them gently over the
    mattress from which you removed them for washing?
    
    --bonnie
383.23WRKSYS::STHILAIREFood, Shelter & DiamondsWed Oct 17 1990 13:237
    Re fitted sheets, I fold them by wadding them in a ball, also, but I
    don't bother putting them in the dryer before putting them on the bed. 
    I don't care if my sheets are a little bit wrinkled, or if they're
    folded properly, for that matter.
    
    Lorna
    
383.24RAVEN1::JERRYWHITEJoke 'em if they can't take a ...Fri Oct 19 1990 05:359
    re - 1
    
    Lorna, I guess you and my wife are the only 2 women in the world that
    think like that - BLESS YOU !   8^)
    
    Besides, if you have a waterbed, they get pretty wrinkled pretty quick
    anyhow ...
    
    Jerry (who still matches his socks though ...)