Conference turris::womannotes-v3

    You may do that on all future gifts for me, Meigs...I promise not to
    report you to the etiquette police.  By the way, I was looking at this
    lovely silver bracelet... :^)
    
    In these times, what is practical is considerate.  None of us has
    "spare time".
    
    mdh

	Gosh! I wish I could get some gifts from you!  

	Seriously, having just had a baby and gone through the "14 pink and 
frilly dresses that she'll never have time to wear before she grows out of them 
even if we wanted to subject her to them" syndrome, I love the idea.  

	I guess it all depends on how well you know the person.  Most people who
know me, know that I would LOVE to have the receipt.  I have included the 
receipt for some gifts to some people.  However, there are some people I know 
that would just be aghast at the idea.  So I play it by ear.

Tracey  

    I would think that if you provided the store name, in case an exchange
    was necessary, would be sufficient.  I'm sure that if you explain that
    the item was a gift, they would gladly exchange it.  (And if they don't
    you could always talk to Customer Services!)
    
    Unfortunately, if the gift was engraved, monogrammed, or otherwise,
    chances are that an exchange would not be possible.  Depends on the
    store.
    
    
    Judi
    

I think it's a great idea, but would never have the guts to do it, for the same
reason you're asking about it.
	Mez

	To show what kind of a mood I am in, I could not for the life
	figure out what was wrong with including the "recipe" with the
	gift!!!

	No comment.

	_peggy

		(-)
		 |
			Somedays more dis-lexic than others.

    The only problem with including the receipt with the gift would be
    those occasions when you're having a hard time trying to come up with
    enough money to buy all the Xmas gifts you're supposed to, and you buy
    a cheap sweater at K-Mart and stick it in a Nieman Marcus box, so it
    looks like you're giving them something decent.
    
    Lorna
    

Lorna, you're giving away my best secret! ;-)

Kathy

    Maybe instead of putting the receipt in the box, slip in a note that
    says you have the receipt if they need to exchange it.

    Re .8: But, if the theory is that it's "tacky" to include a receipt
    because it acknowledges that the recipient might want to exchange the
    gift at all, it seems to me it's just as bad to do it via a note as by
    the actual receipt. Worse, come to think of it, because if you provide
    a note, it means the recipient has to ask you for the receipt if they
    want to exchange the gift, rather than quietly taking care of it
    themselves.
    
    Personally, I don't consider it tacky at all to include the required
    exchange information with a gift - or to receive it, either.
    
    However, I've known people who hold all gifts sacred - not just at the
    moment of giving (when, as we all know, it's the thought that counts!),
    but forever after. I don't go along with that; no matter how fond I am
    of dear Aunt So-and-so, I don't want to be expected to keep everything
    she gives me, regardless of its utility or correspondance with my
    personal taste. [In return, I promise not to be offended if Aunt
    So-and-so chooses to take the tea cozy I so carefully selected for her
    and sell it at her next yard sale!]
    
    -b

    I like the idea, but then I've done it when sending presents.
    Usually the note says something like, "In case I goofed
    on the children's sizes or tastes, here are the receipts."
    Of course, if the package also held gifts for Mom and
    Dad, they're in there as well.
    
    I stoutly believe that my responsibility as a recipient
    is to write a pleasant and believable thank you note shortly
    after receiving the gift.  After that, I am free to give
    it charity or the dumpster.  Exceptions to this are if
    the gift is clearly handmade or of great value to the
    giver.
    
    Then I say, "Aunt Genvieve, I truly appreciate you giving
    your collection of Hummell to me, and I am touched but I
    wonder if perhaps cousing Imogene might be better able to
    care for them. I will always treasure the knowledge that you
    hold me in such high regard." 
    
    As for wedding gifts and baby gifts, I think the receipt
    is totally necessary to take some of the work out of putting
    together the necessary items out of all the duplicates.
    In these cases, it's thoughtful.  But only if you really
    know the recipient.
    
        Margaret         

    
    I have a hard time pleasing my brother with gifts I get him, so I've
    started giving the receipts for his gifts to my mother and telling him
    that she has them.  That way he can still exchange something without
    having to come to me for the receipt, but I don't have to feel tacky
    leaving a price tag on the gift.  Now if only my mother gets the hint
    and does the same for me.
    
    Justine who has given most of her presents from her mother to charity
            'cause even if they fit she wouldn't be caught dead in 'em :-(

    About receipts - if the recipient is in a location where the receipt
    would be helpful for an exchange, give it to them.  I'd prefer this to
    my Dad's answer to the "I don't know what to give you" problem, which
    is a check.
    
    
    And then there is the "Fannie Beverly".  This is the gift which is my
    family's in-joke.  My grandmother had an aunt who couldn't remember who
    had given her what item, who's name was Fannie Beverly.  This aunt
    would wrap up items she had around her home, and give them out as
    gifts.  It was not unknown for her to give back to you at Christmas the
    item which you had given her for her birthday.  Some things simply kept
    making a circuit among family members, sometimes for years.  And so
    now, when we receive a gift which is simply not right for us, we will
    wrap it up and present it to whatever family member we think would
    appreciate it more, listing it as from "Fannie Beverly".  (Used items
    which others covet and we no longer want get the same treatment.)  So
    those are the 'grab bag' gifts - sometimes wonderful and sometimes a
    dud, but never treated seriously.  Which takes off a lot of the
    pressure.
    
    Alison 

    in re .13
    
    Alison
    
    In Tolkien's book the Lord of the Rings, the Hobbits had a name
    for such gifts, they called them 'mathoms'.
    
    Bonnie

	My grandmother, on the other hand, always included receipts (especially
in her later years) because she knew she often got the wrong size or color.

Anecdote:

	One year she bought me a truly hideous sweater.  After fumbling around
a bit in Jordans, I finally found the proper dept to return it.  The sales
clerk asked me the reason for the return.  "Let's just say my grandmother's
taste and mine don't coincide" and the clerk wrote "doesn't like" on the
return slip.

						--D

    My sister has a theory that there are no bad gifts, only those that
    have not reached their final destination!
    
    
    Judi
    

    My family also had "Fanny Beverly" presents. Except it was just
    one.  It was a truly hideous vase (with a decided short "A") that
    was wraped and rewrapped dozens of times.  It showed up at almost
    every family birthday and Christmas.
    
    For a golden wedding aniversary it was painted gold, for a baby
    shower it was decaled with appropriate pictures.  Each transformation
    making it more and more hideous and precious.
                                       
    Perhaps if the first hapless giver had included a receipt, the
    tradition never would have started.    :^)
    
        Margaret

-1  Judi,
>    My sister has a theory that there are no bad gifts, only those that
>    have not reached their final destination!
    
That "destination" reminds me of my family's "Fanny Beverly" story:

Our friend Franny had the misfortune to fall in love with and marry
Jack. Now Jack was a very talented banjo player who made a 
good living playing his banjo with a Chicago rag time band.  
Jack was known to all, except Franny, as a self-centered cheapskate.

Along came Frannie's 30th birthday. Jack announced weeks ahead of
time that he had a wonderful gift for her. Comes the birthday,
Jack gives Franny a Four Hundred Dollar Banjo. The marriage
ended about two months later.

In our family, "That's a banjo" has been a working phrase for
twenty years.  If YOU'RE the choco-holic and you give MOM
ten pounds of chocolate, "That's a banjo!"   Meigs

    In our  family  that's  reffered  to as "giving your grandmother a
    baseball glove."  I don't know what incident prompted this phrase.

    	One of the contract writers who used to work here in LJ02
    	said that her father gave her mother a chainsaw for their
    	anniversary.
    
    	Scott

re. -1

I miss my chainsaw ... it's been two years since my beautiful Power Princess
was kidnapped by a neighbor one Sunday morning.

I do believe that a delegation was sent to Rick threatening certain of his more
tender body parts if I turned up with another one ... he, of course, explained
that my relationship with my chainsaw was not his business ... but I
don't think he was listened to very well

<sigh>

   Annie

	re: the chainsaw for an anniversary present. 

	What's your point?

Tracey

(who asked for (and got) a huge roll-away tool-chest from her birthday and a
power router and circular saw for Christmas a few years ago) :-) :-)

    
    I wih someone would give me a chainsaw for my {birthday|anniversary|etc}
    - I've *always* wanted a chainsaw.  Somehow the men in my life have
    always passed by this (blatant) hint from yours truly.  (I think glass
    chewers with chainsaws make some men nervous :-)  My dad *has* promised
    that there is a chainsaw in my future, however.  More power tools!
    
    						/Rita
    
    (Who is happy because last night's powerfail and subsequent OT for
    being paged have caused her to run out and buy a variable-speed
    Dremel at lunch!)
    
    

    I'm not expecting a chain saw, but I have traditionally had a larger,
    better tool collection than the men I've dated.
    
    Right now, a power screwdriver and electric saw would be kinda nice, I
    just don't have a workbench for the saw!
    
    Hmm, how about:
    
    
    A HOUSE! YEAH!

    I got myself my own chainsaw....had a blast with it tooo!  I did
    get the kind you plug into the wall so I am limited as to how far
    I can go!  Oh, well, I can always borrow hubby's gas one!

    justme....jacqui

I could you use a chainsaw too.  Three actually.

john

    you juggle them 'on' or 'off'?
    
    bj

	A number of years ago I asked for and received a power drill,
	with attachments for Mothers day - I love my drill.

	When I had a house I used hand saws and axes or cutting wood,
	I was pretty good with an ax.  I am now out of practice.

	'ren do you really have a power screwdriver??? I bought one
	for my father (though I really wanted it for myself) for his
	birthday three years ago, but no one has gotten me one.  Even
	with my hints.

	_peggy

		(-)
		 |
			Power tools - OOOOHHHH YEAH!!!!!!

    Y'all be REAL careful with them nasty chainsaws.  They are NOT toys.  A
    beloved family member nearly lost a leg to one.
    
    -Jody
    

    in re .30
    
    yeah, Jody and abut 5 1/2 years ago my husband came within
    millimeters of bisecting his face with one..
    
    still gives me the willies.
    
    Bonnie

    I don't want a chainsaw.  If I ever find the need for one I'll just ask
    one of the many womannoters who own one to help me. :-)
    
    BTW, what would I ever need one *for*?
    
    Lorna
    

    re: .32
    
    >>BTW, what would I ever need one *for*?
    
    Well, if you don't have a wood stove, then you probably don't need one! 
    I find that mine comes in handy for whacking logs in half that are too
    long to fit into the stove.  My chainsaw is gas powered and makes
    great noise.  I sure do feel macho when I put on my steel-toed
    construction boots, safety goggles and leather gloves and revv up the
    engine!  Chewing glass while using the chainsaw is optional, however.
    ;-)
    

    	RE: What's my point?
    
    	Tracey,
    
    	The point was this: the man gave his wife a gift that he had
    	been wanting himself for a long time. She had no use for it,
    	nor did she want to find a use.
    
    	It would be similar to me (a cyclist) buying my wife (a
    	non-cyclist) a brand new, $1500 bike.
    
    	"Why, Scott, it's just what I always wanted!!!
    
    	Scott

uses for a chainsaw:

  - the aforementioned firewood-related task.
  - thinning out the trees near the house so they don't kill each other
    grasping at resources
  - cutting the above down to size either fit to haul away or feed into
    the mulching machine [rental] for winterising and landscaping

I'm very VERY careful in my observance of chainsaw safety.  I tie up 
fluorescent 'danger' plastic surrounding my field of action -- one person 
inside at a time, chain-guard --- Rick preferably somewhere in France
[he cannot be trusted in the same country with sharp implements; but
he's quite capable of nailing, sanding, wiring, etc.]

I gave up on hinting at the skil-twist ... Christmas was coming and I taped
a picture of one to Rick's shaving mirror ... he bought one for his Dad,
and one for each of his sisters [so apparently this wasn't a gender-related
communications problem].  I re-cycled the picture into his briefcase the week
before my birthday along with a note indicating how much I'd like one and
got a sapphire necklace instead [no complaints here on the necklace, but 
certainly if he had budget for that, the incremental expense of the screwdriver
shouldn't have been a problem]  I bought my own.

back to our regularly scheduled topic:

it never occurred to me before now to wonder if all those receipts that I've 
received over the years were anything but carelessness ... I don't particularly
like getting receipts with my gifts, but I don't find it crass.  I've never had
trouble making exchanges without receipts.

	My sister & brother-in-law will have been married two years next month.
The "casual" dishes my sister picked out could be purchased at Bradlees or
other fine stores of that caliber.  Naturally, she had to return a couple or
twelve items as Bradlees doesn't do gift registry.

	If you don't have a receipt from Bradless, and, the item you're
returning has been on sale in the last n (where n is in the 6 - 8 range) weeks
(and in a store like Bradlees, almost everything goes on sale once in that
kind of a time range) they will only give you credit for the lowest price
it's been on sale.

						--D

    Like Lorna, I'd rather have jewelry and good perfume.  I take care
    of the jewels myself and for the perfume -- why isn't that why DEC
    sends coworkers to Valbonne from time to time? (Everyone in my group
    must know about my perfume jones by now.)
    
    I give the power tools that I want to Jim for presents.  So far
    he's gotten (and I've gotten the use of) a power screwdriver, a
    drill, and a saber saw.  Great toys all.  They aren't "Banjos" because
    he wants them.  He also gets other stuff like compilers, wolf ears,
    and socket wrenches. 
    
    About Chain saws:  I once dated a guy with a 24" Huske Varna :^)
    
      Margaret         

    
    > About Chain saws:  I once dated a guy with a 24" Huske Varna :^)
    
     Oooooh, Margaret!
    
    

	re:  Scott.

	I realize that was your point.  I was deliberately being obtuse.  Why?
Because just because she was a woman does not mean she would not want a 
chainsaw (as you can see from the chainsaw-toting, glass-chewing club response
here :-) ).  

	I remember going shopping to pick out my roll-away tool-chest.  First 
the salesman assumed it for Gary.  Then he found out it was my birthday present.
He kept giving me these little pitying looks and making snide comments to Gary.
I finally stopped and told him he could just cut it out, cause I wanted it, 
I had asked for it and was happy that at last I was going to have a place to put 
MY tools.  It blew his mind.  He just couldn't conceive of it.  A woman with
enough tools to fill a roll-away??!! Impossible!

Tracey