Conference turris::womannotes-v3

183.0. "=WN= goes "Back to the Future"" by EARRTH::MALLETT (Barking Spider Industries) Thu Jun 07 1990 10:53

    I guess I should start this off by acknowledging a debt of
    gratitude to Sandy for 180.10 which reminded me of a topic I
    first thought of a year or so ago but somehow never got around
    to entering.  In her note, Sandy suggested the idea of a major
    sociological change that might just be triggered by a particu-
    larly "incendiary" magazine article.  
    
    Now, while I honestly don't think that article or any other single 
    event will yield some sort of rapid, en-masse restructuring of 
    society (methinks that the human nesting/bonding instinct is still 
    very strong), her thoughts nonetheless triggered my not-yet-entirely-
    defunct memory/thought cells.  Btw, rumors that this process has 
    triggered economic chaos in world markets and fighting in several
    major South American cities is pure bunk.  There does, however seem
    to be some kind of funny burning smell in my office.  But I digress.
    
    Ultimately, who am I to say that Sandy's notion isn't right on the 
    money?  For all I know, she might well be precognitive.  Not only
    that, maybe she can see the future, too.
    
    So, here's the deal.
    
    As we're all sitting at our terminals tomorrow morning, WHAMMO!
    A chronosynclastic infundibulum strikes the network and we're all 
    zoomed to June 7th, 2190 (maybe we shouldn't have all hit the 
    control/z at the same time, but it's too late to cry over spilt 
    time warps now).
    
    So you get up from your terminal, stretch a bit and then decide
    to ". . .get out the door and take a look all around."  And yes,
    (in keeping with that last quote) you do indeed discover "What
    a long, strange trip it's been."  
    
    What do you see�, not so much from the technical gizmo sense, 
    but from the sociological or interpersonal sense?  How do the 
    women and men of the world relate to each other?  There certainly 
    was a lot of ruckus going on in the latter part of the 20th 
    century, particularly in that which, at the time, was called the 
    United States.  With apologies to Billy Joel:
    
    	Sexual revolutions, compromise solutions, liberation movements
    		and "mommy tracks",   
    	NOTErs conferencing, Barbara Bush commencing, Inner Vision Parties,
    		political hacks,
        Pro-choice lifts it's voice, 
        Pro-life responds; there's strife.
    	Model muggings, mothers drugging, 
    	Women shouting, gays are "outing",
    	"Glass ceilings", share your feelings,
    	Wheeling, dealing, my mind's reeling,
        We didn't start the fire. . .
    		
    What was the effect of all that commotion?  What kind of a world
    have your great-great, etc. grandchildren inherited?  How did the
    trends that were started in the late 20th century reverberate
    200 years later?  
    
    Steve
    
    � I do have two rules for this note:  
    
    	1) if what you see is some sort of dead, poisoned, burnt out, 
    	   frozen, reduced-to-sub-atomic-dust world, please keep your 
    	   vision to yourself (or start your own note).  I have enough 
    	   depression to handle just thinking of all the work I have to 
    	   finish before leaving at the end of the month.
    
    	2) Some of you who, like myself, have a finely cultivated 
    	   attitude of disrespect will be tempted to say things like:
    
    	   "One of today's news story reads that Mike Valenza, VIII 
    	    was arrested yesterday for placing whoopie cushions under
    	    the seat of Northern Hemisphere president, Jo D Bobbitt, VIII.
    	    Valenza's lawyer, BJ Reinke, VIII, said today that the defense
    	    plans to plead diminished capacity.  Said Reinke, "We will
    	    present evidence from the late twentieth century that my
    	    client's ancestor was not at all tightly wrapped.  His
    	    propensity for eating vast quantities of vegemite and staring
    	    all googly-eyed into an ancient device called a "terminal"
    	    set up genetic defects in his progeny that have carried
    	    forth to the present day."
    
    	    Well, I can understand your temptation (tho' I myself 
    	    am far too serious a person to engage in such frivolity),
    	    so I'll just remind you that it's inappropriate to go
    	    insulting someone in the here-and-now by heaping imaginary 
    	    insult on their future relatives.
    
    	    Unless, of course, that someone happens to be Mike Valenza.

Oh God, Steve, don't *do* that to me.  I am sure my boss sitting in the
cubicle nex tot me thinks I am quite mad, what with the laughter and 
footstomping.

Maybe after I finish wiping away the tears of laughter I'll think of something
intelligent to add to this discussion.

D!

[Chuckle, snort]

    Honestly Steve, there will be no WN in 200 years. There will be no
    Digital, no computers and no people........
    
    
    Due to the nuclear explosion of 2080, all that's left are Teenage
    Mutant Ninja Turtles and, of course, cockroaches.
    
    Depressingly yours,
    Kate

    re: .2 (Kate)
    
    In Maxwell Smart voice:
    
    	I *asked* you not to tell me that, 99. . .
    
    No doubt these remaining life forms will have plenty to eat, too.
    I've seen evidence that Twinkies can survive all but a direct
    multi-megaton hit.
    
    Steve

    By the year 2190 human beings will be born with the future equivalent
    of an RS232 port in the middle of their foreheads which will do away
    with the need for terminals and other sensory based electro-cerebral
    I/O devices.  By this means every human on the face of the Earth will
    have access to notes; even in their sleep, by connecting into their
    VAAX (Virtually All Acronyms eXhausted). (I've been accused of being
    asleep when I wrote some of my replies, even today) The caveat is that
    every noters true feelings will be exposed on every topic which is
    accessed.
    
    Some topics up for discussion:
    
    	Artificial Wombs: Which brand do you recommend?
    	HELP! My Orgasmatron is busted!
    	Do Martians make better lovers?
    	Why Androids are better than real men.
    	St. Steinem's College for Women chooses the President's PC as
    	  its commencement speaker.
    	Should Venus become a penis-free planet?
     
    Under the topic of "I really hate..." there will be postings like:
    	 
     	..when all of my husbands forget to put the toilet into sit-down mode!
     	..when my teleporter beams me to Saturn instead of The Mill!
    	..when my parental unit calls me up to repair its birthing chamber!
	..when my dog refuses to answer the phone.
    
    Under the topic of "I really love..." there will be postings like:
    
    	..agreeing to renew our cohabitation contract and deciding to
          honeymoon at the resort in Siberia.
    	..having my 180th birthday and having people tell me I don't
    	  look a day over 150.
    	..finally finishing my PhD after 6 whole days of information
    	  implantation.
    
    Other goings on:
    
    The water will contain a 100% effective birth controlling chemical
    and people (men or women) who wish to bear a child the old fashioned
    way will have to apply for an antidote.  People with poor parental
    psycho-scan results will be given an artificial human baby to raise.
    
    There will be only one race of humans, but due to a presently unknown
    effect of the food additive Monosodium Glutamate, there are now 17
    species.
    
    The battle for socio-economic power between men and women will have
    been settled when it is suddenly realized that 90% of the wealth
    and every politically significant position in the world is held
    by computers.
    
    Due to the wonders of genetic engineering, Steve, and for the benefit
    of your flatulent descendants, there will indeed be real Barking
    Spiders.
    
    Kris
    
    

    I almost forgot...
    
    Psycho-linguistic analysis of ancient archived notes reveals that Mike
    Zarlenga and Suzanne Conlon (circa 1990) really did like each other,
    they just didn't want to admit it. 
    
    Kris

    
.4    By the year 2190 human beings will be born with the future equivalent
.4    of an RS232 port in the middle of their foreheads which will do away
.4    with the need for terminals and other sensory based electro-cerebral
    
    no, it will be behind the ear.  which ear depends on whether
    the person is a programmer or a user, and that will be the
    new class boundary line along which discrimination will exist.
    
    

    so instead of port, call it a jack.
    
    so the hot question of the day will be do you jack in to the
    right, or to the left?