| T.R | Title | User | Personal
Name | Date | Lines |
|---|
| 1101.1 | | RANGER::TARBET | Haud awa fae me, Wully | Tue Apr 17 1990 09:07 | 5 |
| I think it rather depends on circumstances, Chris. Could you tell us a
bit more about the quarrel and about the sort of relationship you two
normally have?
=maggie
|
| 1101.2 | my .02 | LEZAH::BOBBITT | pools of quiet fire... | Tue Apr 17 1990 09:29 | 21 |
| How to bridge the gap I think includes rebuilding the bridge of
communication between the two of you. Don't be cold or cardboard or
stiff, be warm and honest and willing to share. If the argument
happened through some fault of either of yours, don't point fingers.
Acknowledge that it occurred, but clearly state that she is more
important than any argument (if that is, indeed, true).
What might impress me about a man and help me see my way clear in a
relationship beyond a fairly serious argument? Honesty. Willingness
to see BEYOND whatever caused the argument - or if the point of the
argument was not settled - willingness to admit fault (if it's so), or
willingness to court difference between the two of us (i.e. - we agree
to disagree and still respect one another a great deal). Don't discuss
from a pedestal, share humility and humanity and be willing to
compromise. When I am treated this way by someone I love and respect,
I will almost always respond in kind (unless it was really a
showstopper argument), and this, in turn, permits me to feel supported,
loved, listened to, and cared about.
-Jody
|
| 1101.3 | Bring Some Romance Back Into It ... | GRANPA::TTAYLOR | I do not want what I don't have | Tue Apr 17 1990 13:00 | 19 |
| Chris: How about an "I'm sorry this happened to us". Let's be honest
about our feelings and work this out together.
Bringing romance back into the picture (ie: taking her to dinner,
flowers, a cute card or a teddy bear) wouldn't be too bad either. We
love those things. One of the common complaint I hear from married
friends (and girlfriends in long-term relationships) is that once men
know they've got you snagged, and are secure -- out goes the romance.
Wish my sweetheart cared as much as *you* do -- I always seem to be the
one apologising for our stupid rows and if I held my breath lately for
a card or something sweet that means so much, I'd probably die from
lack of oxygen!
Good luck! If you are honest and sincere, things will work out just
fine, I'm sure.
Tammi
|
| 1101.4 | Touche!! Nicely put... | CECV01::MATHERS | | Tue Apr 17 1990 13:04 | 27 |
| re:1101.2
TOUCHE!!!!
I couldn't have said it better if I had tried. You (IMO hit the nail
on the head). Those were the words that I could hear in my ears.
Honesty, openness, commununicate and LISTEN...
One thing that bothered me as I read this and it isn't meant as a
criticism was the word impress! I know that can mean many things to
many people and like someone stated, it does depend on the situation
and relationship, but IMO, I feel if one feels they need to impress
their partner for forgiveness or to make up an argument may or may
not be worth the effort. I'm not saying I don't believe the
relationship is worth it, it seems to need some work, especially
in the communications area, I just feel that if I felt I had to
impress someone I was with, he may not be the right person for me.
I am not picking, Chris apart so please don't feel that way. It was
something that I picked up on. Like I said it sometimes is used
loosely, like trying to impress the boss, the in-laws, the boys
but this to me sounded a little deeper..
For the record, Chris you did impress me with you willingness to seek
advice and your caring enough for your girlfriend to make amends.
I hope you find what you are looking for....
Paula
|
| 1101.5 | Romeo Chris. | SUBURB::REYNOLDSB | | Mon Apr 23 1990 09:03 | 44 |
|
Hello, It's me again your little Romeo, Chris.
I have had a read through your comments and even given them a go...
BUT ......
I am now concerned about something else:- Everytime I phone her
she is either in the bathroom, Gone out (Sounds suspicous but I
trust her, I feel a little nervy when I say "Do you know where she
went, and the answer is always *NO*)
The thing is every time I phone, she is busy.. AND if I get the
chance to speak to her *In my trusting caring voice* she always
sounds unkeen,pre-occupied,not interested. I said to her :
"I'm not doing anything today, do you fancy coming down ?"
(PAUSE)
answer "Well I'm kinda' busy today, I have *homework* to do.) or
words to that effect.
What shall I do ? As much I think she is "The sunshine of my life"
I feel left out :- Would you agree !
Do you think I should say:
"Nice knowing you, But I think we should split!!"
Well, I must go because the screen is looking blury, and I have
a tear in my eye.
(don't laugh)
Help me if you can, If not I will have to think this one out by
myself.
See you.
Chris
xxxxx
|
| 1101.6 | | LEZAH::BOBBITT | pools of quiet fire... | Mon Apr 23 1990 09:43 | 14 |
| How about you write her a note asking if she is still interested in
your relationship - gently query why she seems unwilling to speak with
you or meet with you - and ask if the two of you can discuss it. If
you can discuss it - perhaps you'll find she needs some time, or needs
some space to find out by herself how she feels about you. Or perhaps
you may be right and it may be coming to an end.
Emphasize that you still care for her and wish to continue to see her,
but if she'd rather not then what must be, must be....
good luck,
-Jody
|