Conference turris::womannotes-v2

    Robin,
    
    What a tragedy!  You must be frightened.  I wish I had more to offer
    ...  
    
    I don't have any personal experience with CRIME WATCH to relate, but
    I lived alone in a third-floor studio apt. in Brighton, MA. for a year.  
    I felt safer than those on the ground floor, but I still installed window
    locks.  It's a good idea to get to know as many of your neighbors
    in the complex as you can.  (The mail area and laundry room are good 
    spots for striking up conversations.)  If you're out a lot, you might want
    to put some of your lights and a radio on a timer.  Pets may also
    alert you of danger, but I don't recommend getting one just for
    protection: pets deprived of attention may wind up sick and unhappy.
    
    I eventually moved to a more residential neighborhood, where I chose
    an apartment above a funeral home. [In my five years alone there, no
    one has ever tried to break in! :-)] 
    
    Hope you can, in time, achieve some peace of mind again.  
    
    Jane
    
    P.S. I'd like to hear more about how CRIME WATCH works, if you and your
    neighbors do implement it.  (Do people sign up for particular 
    time slots to be "on duty", or is it more random than that?

Do you need a permit for Mace? I was some TV ads on it recently and got the
impression you could just send away for it.
	Mez

 Another alternative to remote control lights is the automatic light. These
lights have sensors in the base that recognize when someone or something
moves into range, and the lights turn on automatically. If properly installed,
they can turn on when you drive into the driveway, before you get out of your 
car.

 Advantages of these lights are that you don't have to have a remote control
(yet another remote control) that uses batteries, etc, you don't have to
do anything but walk into the area for the light to turn on, if someone is
prowling around your house, they will turn on potentially scaring less
resolute prowlers away. 

 My uncle has a set of these on his house. For the longest time, I thought that
someone in the house saw the car pulling up the driveway and turned on the 
light, until it finally happened when nobody was home. :-) They are fairly
sensitive; they turned on randomly one night, and my uncle saw why- a pair
of raccoons had wandered onto the driveway. :-)

 I don't know how expensive they are in comparison to remote control lights.

 The Doctah

	re: .3 (Mez)

	> Do you need a permit for Mace?

	In the People's Republik of Massachusetts, you _must_ have an FID
	(Firearms ID card) to buy or carry mace.  

	To obtain an FID, call your police station and inquire as to when
	the officer in charge of FIDs and permits is in the office. Then,
	on the day that you plan to go to the station, call and ask to 
	speak to the officer to make sure he is there.  In order to obtain
	an FID, you can not have been treated for drug addiction or alcoholism
	in the past ?? years, and a couple other qualifications.  It is likely
	that the officer will try to intimidate you into not getting one,
	but it is your _right_ if you meet the qualifications - i.e., unlike
	licenses to carry, it is not at the officer's discretion if you meet
	the qualifications.   

	So even if you are a woman, or even if you are black, or even if you 
	led the fight against the Prop 2.5 override and the chief doesn't 
	like you because you caused his budget to get scrunched, he (all MA 
	chiefs are he's) MUST issue it to you.   

	If the desk officer really starts to hassle you,

	("You shouldn't go places where you don't feel safe."
	 "Why don't you learn self-defense?
	 "What would it be like if every lady wanted a weapon?"  
	  (mace is a weapon) ...   etc...

	Then try this:

	"Oh, OK.  
	 So will you be responsible of my safety while I'm living here?"

	Why?  He must answer "no" (if he knows the truth), because
	the police can not be held responsible for your protection.

							nancy b.

    Radio Shack sells a timer and switch that can automatically turn on and
    off lights on either precise preset times or randomly.  The control
    unit can handle up to 8 lighting circuits.  This enables you to set the
    controller so that your outside and entry lights are on for you when
    you get home AND to switch on and off inside lights (as well as radios 
    and TV) so it appears that someone is home.  It's easy to install.  (I
    did it, and it's not hard at all.)
    
    Otherwise, when living alone, try to live at least on the second floor. 
    Invest in good locks.  ALWAYS have both a chain and a spyhole on your
    door.  Get the kind of chain that has a spring in the latch so it can't
    be sprung.
    
    God, just thinking about this stuff makes me mad.  But then I realize
    it's not just women.  Male friends living in Boston and NYC must also
    take precautions.
    
       Margaret

    
    Mace is useless...
    
    Get nunchucks, or a Louisville Slugger..

    A couple of years ago I went to a course right here in MRO3 regarding
    rape/attack prevention. It was headed up by a cop from Stow named Gary
    something. It took about 3 lunchtimes but it was worth it. 
    
    A few points to remember:
    
    1) Never park where it is dark.
    2) Never carry shopping bags in your hands while approaching your car.
       always use a carriage.
    3) While going to your car, always have your keys in your hand. They
       make a decent weapon and a quicker get-away.
    4) If you enter your home and find that someone has been in there
       leave immediately and call the police. He may still be in there!!
    5) If you get weird phonecalls, the phone company can trace the last
       phone call to your number regardless of how short a time they were
       on the phone (unlike the olden days) Although the phone company
       won't give you the name of the person who called, they will submit 
       it to the police and you can proceed from there. 
    6) If you do get attacked, there are a few techniques you can use to
       free yourself. If they seem futile or too dangerous to try, give 
       in. It may save your life. 
    7) DO NOT CARRY A WEAPON THAT YOU DO NOT KNOW HOW TO USE...DO NOT CARRY
       A WEAPON THAT YOU ARE AFRAID TO USE. It can and will be used against
       you.
    8) If you have the chance to flee, keys,shoes,fingernails, teeth and
       pocketbooks can make fairly decent weapons.
    9) Take a course in self-defense.
    10)Talk to neighbors.
    
    Sorry for the ramblings. This topic is near and dear to me.
    
    Kate (Who's been held up at knifepoint at 2:00 am coming out of work
          alone with stuff in my hands to a dark car which was parked in
          the back lot)
    
    
           
    

 thanks to everyone for the comments and ideas shared both here and in MAIL. 
it's amazing how many [previously unconscious] little habits you can get into 
without realizing how you are contributing to your own vulnerability.

re .1 &.2

  our next meeting for the CRIME WATCH is this coming monday. i'll try and
post more info about how we are going to attempt organizing ourselves. 
reading thru the booklet passed out at the last meeting, i understand that 
common program names also include BLOCK WATCH, NEIGHBORHOOD WATCH, or 
COMMUNITY WATCH. all of these have the common denominator of 
success/failure based almost completely on nothing more than the 
communities commitment to stay involved and look out for each other.
 
re. kate

     >7) DO NOT CARRY A WEAPON THAT YOU DO NOT KNOW HOW TO USE...DO NOT CARRY
     >  A WEAPON THAT YOU ARE AFRAID TO USE. It can and will be used against
     >  you.

  thanks for including this. i didn't mention it in the base note topic, 
mostly because i don't want to see this string rat-hole into a "firearms 
debate", but part of my concern is exactly what you have stated here. about
5 yrs ago i purchased a firearm. after a few lessons from my brother-in-law, 
i just buried it away. the last few nights i have drug it out to place under 
the couch in the livingroom where i've been sleeping. i plan on 
trying to find some kind of safety/training course here in town so that i 
have confidence in *my ability* to use it, instead of a fear of having it 
turned against me.

    
    �Kate (Who's been held up at knifepoint at 2:00 am coming out of work
    �      alone with stuff in my hands to a dark car which was parked in
    �      the back lot)
    
   it sounds like you were able to aviod being physically harmed - that's 
great.  it also sounds like a V E R Y frightening experiance. i can 
understand why this is an issue you have strong feelings about!
           
   thanks again everyone,

         ~robin
    

    About coming out of work at 2:00 am (at DEC?)...I am always upset when
    women friends tell me they worked at a DEC site into the wee hours of
    morning.  Take ZK, just for one example.   It's so large and scarey
    there, and the parking lots are so dark and big.  It's bad enough
    working late in a cubicle where you have no idea whether someone's
    sneaking up on you or whatever.  But please don't walk to your car
    outside if you can help it.  It's hard not to feel like a scaredy-cat,
    asking for help,  but I think it's worth it to avail yourself of
    security people when it's time to go to your car.  
    
    I was working in BXB2 for awhile.  It was pitch black when it was time
    for me to leave.  Anything could happen.  I had a hard time  dealing
    with my need for security.  I hated calling attention to my fear, but
    still, when it was time to leave, I'd get someone else to walk me to my
    car and I'd drive them back.  Or call to BXB1 where security lived
    and ask them to come over and see me out.  As awkward as I felt doing
    these things, everyone I asked was ultimately gracious, especially
    the security people (who were often women, so it didn't feel sexist!). 
    
    So many people in the suburbs think "nothing like THAT will happen
    HERE."  But if something does happen, it's so traumatic, perhaps for
    many years, as so many of us, unfortunately, know. 
    
    Of course, some people HAVE to work late every night.  I think it's
    fair to raise safety issues with the site administrators.  My group
    recently moved into a new site where I felt insecure after hours. When
    I spoke up, three other women told me that they were glad I'd done so.  
    
    One thing that's a little scarey about "getting to know your neighbors"
    for safety reasons is: how do you know your neighbors are trustworthy?   
    
      Nina

         One thing I do when my husband is hunting for a couple of days is
    put a chair in front of the doors, even in my bedroom.  This way I hope
    I can wake up in time to stop the intruder with the gun that stays near
    our bed.  As someone mentioned earlier, I don't want my gun to be used
    against me. 
         It also helps me sleep sounder when I know if someone tries to
    break they will have to make a lot of noise.
         Yes, my husband is well aware that he should not surprise me by 
    coming home early.
    
    	Willa  

    I had the sensor lights installed on my house and it is the best thing
    I have ever done.....but there is one minor problem, when it is really
    windy the wind tends to turn them on.  At first it was a little scary,
    but now when I know its windy, it doesn't bother me, I just figure that
    too much light is better than none at all.
    
    I had a handy man install them and so the cost wasn't bad, also I
    purchased mine from DAK, the electronics catalog.
    
    

    
    Yeahhh... Boston policemen. 
    
    Honest as a day is long....
    

.15>.12>    how do you know your neighbors are trustworthy?   

.15>	My next door neighbor is a police lieutenant.

.15>	Across the street from him is a police sergeant.

With that kind of endorsement, I feel that I must repeat .12's question.

how do you know your neighbors are trustworthy?   

:-)
ed

RE.13 chair in front of the door

My alternative to this is to tie a few large (1-1/2 to 2 inch
diameter) jingle bells (the kind you see around Christmas) on a ribbon
and hang the ribbon on the doorknob. Every time the door opens, the
bells jingle. I have bells on all my doors. They are unobtrusive. I
don't have to remember to set them up and they do make a racket when
the door is opened.

About a year ago, I moved from a third floor apt in a 3-family house
where I felt very safe to a 1st floor condo. For the first few months
I was a total paranoia case. I have locks for my windows. Hardware
stores have a variety of locks. Mine are a type that allows me to
leave the window open a little. I have installed them so that the
windows open from the top, not the bottom - makes it a little harder
for someone to get in, I hope. My lights are on timers so there is
always a light on when I get home. In my 3rd floor apartment, I kept
the windows open and curtains open, but now I keep the blinds closed
(my plants hate it). Our parking lot and back yard are well lit and
open.

-Patti

I'm not as worried about crime where I live now as I was when I was living in
Cambridge or Newton.  (I now live about 25 miles West).  It's probably not a
good thing but after living in a city, any type of semi-rural environment is
comforting.  The bells sound like a good idea, although with a patio door right
off my bedroom, any warning might not be in time.

I go back to the city quite often, and when I do I leave nothing of value in the
car.  My radio is removable, I trust it more on my person more than in my car.
I still go places alone though, even at night.  I guess my view is that it would
be nice to have someone go with me, but if I sat home and waited for someone to
go with me, I might rot.

There are places I refuse to go by myself (Central Square in Cambridge, a club
located in Jamaica Plain, Somerville in general) at night.

Lisa

    My first recommendation to any woman living alone is never to
    advertise the fact that you live alone, not even in Womannotes.
    If you plan to enter a reply that you live alone and these are 
    the precautions you take,  I suggest an anonymous note.
    
    The sad truth is that many women are attacked by men who are
    acquainted with them.  A Digital badge is no guarantee that the
    person is trustworthy.  A person looking for women to molest might
    come into Womannotes to find us, just as child molesters hang
    around schools.  It is not difficult to find out an employee's
    home address over the phone if you have a good story.
    
    Call me paranoid.  I had a year of trying to avoid a man who
    threatened me over the phone, came to my house, intercepted my
    mail, waited for me in the Digital parking lot.  Neither the 
    police, nor Digital Security are good at *preventing* possible
    violence when you are afraid of someone, but he hasn't laid a
    hand on you.  It ended when I moved in with friends, leaving no
    forwarding address and having no phone in my own name, and no
    address or phone in my Personnel file.  I also had him arrested,
    but he got a suspended sentence for threatening me.
    
    Pat

    Gee, Mike, and what do *they* think about you?
    
    kidding, kidding....

    My discomfort with this string is general, though my response is
    triggered by .21.  Part of the discomfort stems from the real dangers
    that women do face more than I, as has been elequently discussed in
    other strings (though I can also attest that men are sometimes subject
    to sexual harassment, as well).  But I worry as well about the
    emprisonment (is that a word?) that focussing on these dangers could
    lead to.  Let's see if I can articulate this.
    
    Most specifically, .21 suggests that women living alone keep this fact
    a secret, yet also points out that most "attacks" are from familiar
    people, not strangers.  Safety would seem to require that women claim
    to person (male) M that they are happily married to Z, an FBI agent
    recently retired from the Green Barrets, to all acquaintences until -
    well, when?  Certainly not until after divorce from M - since spouse
    battering is clearly prevalent - although marriage to M seems
    unlikely under this scenario.  
    
    I'm probably being too obscure.  In Massachusetts, and I _think_ every
    other state, what adult(s) lives at every every address is published
    information.  Hiding from strangers is neither necessary nor possible.
    So, how much does paranoia get for you?
    
    A quite different slant.  I grew up on the south side of Chicago, a
    pretty "scary" environment.  One lesson that I "learned" from some
    combination of the general culture and my local environment was that
    women must not be allowed to wander around on their own, "unprotected."
    As one consequence, I had real trouble coming to terms with the fact
    that women in my life had things they wanted to do on their own,
    without me along as "protector."  I did get over that, though it took a
    few years.  And nobody has ever come to any harm or even threat in
    consequence of my not following those original instincts.  Given
    reasonable prudence, our dangers are not large, even though they are
    certainly real and scary.
    
    I've known people who were killed in plane crashes, who died in wars,
    who took their own life.  I also know people who have been raped, and I
    appreciate that I will never quite share that fear for myself.  But the
    two most recent deaths that have touched me have been an unexpected
    heart attack of a father, and senseless stabbing of a young woman out
    jogging (in Washington D.C.).  We can't get rid of those, unless we
    eliminate jogging.
    
    		- Bruce
    

    re published listings of members of residences in Mass and elsewhere...
    
    I know about the listings (and reverse listings) that come from
    telephone directories.  What others are available to the public?
    (from town census data?)
    
    I cut down my junk mail and junk phone calls considerably by
    keeping my phone listings out of the telephone directory (but
    available to anyone who already knows my name and town via 
    directory assistance).  The only junk mail (other than to "occupant")
    that arrives seems to come from magazine, etc. subscription lists,
    and I track those by the way I enter my name (or by which cat's
    name I use, etc.)
    
    Was I lulled into a false sense of security?  ("Security" -- that's
    a joke...I leave lights on inside and out 24 hours a day, often
    let my answering machine pick up the calls first, *regardless* of
    whether there are others living in the house or not!)
    
    	Pennie

    In re: .24
    
    Every city and town in Massachusetts (and I imagine most other states)
    is required to publish a "List of Residents" for everyone in the town
    18 years old or older.  In all cases I know it is organized by address
    by political division (e.g. precinct/ward), and also carries an
    alphabetical index.  It also includes year of birth and "occupation",
    as well as whether an individual is registered to vote; most of this is
    required by law (perhaps all).  They are available for sale, and can be
    consulted at town offices or libraries as well.  These are derived from
    town census data, and have nothing to do with telephone information.
    
    Most mass mailings are to "occupant" because that is cheaper, or to
    targeted lists aimed at particular populations (e.g. subscribers to
    Organic Computing) because that is more effective.  But some are
    derived from Lists of Residents.  There are widely used, for example,
    by political groups, since they include voting status.  
    
    			- Bruce

    In NH, some cities has city directories which listed people by address. 
    (This may be the same as the 'List of Residents' mentioned in the last
    reply.)  They listed the occupents for each address (by apartment if
    appropriate) and whether they rented or owned where they lived.
    
    The same book included a list by phone number of all the inhabitants.
    
    I was never quite sure just where they got the info for the book.  I
    was listed twice - once as a homeowner and once as a renter - once with
    my actual name and once with a nickname.
    
    This book could be and was bought by local businesses and a copy was
    kept at the local library for easy reference.
    
    Plus, I don't know how it is in other states, but the NH Motor Vehicle
    Department cheerfully takes all the info you send into them for your
    license and car registration and sells that to whoever is interested.
    
    Privacy is an illusion at this point - and going downhill.
    
    Meredith