| In the cases that have been publicized recently (about women
fleeing with their children - or hiding their children with
relatives - to countries around the world) - it seems that one
of the quickest ways for a woman to lose custody of a child is
to make a claim that the father is committing sexual abuse.
In most of the cases I've seen, charges of molestation are treated
as a sign that the Mother is vindictive, mentally unbalanced, and
unfit as a Mother.
In light of this, I wouldn't blame women for being exceptionally
reluctant to bring evidence about child abuse to light (as tragic
as this sounds.)
When they catch up to the fleeing Mother and child, American courts
rush the child back to full custody for the Father (and put the Mother
in jail for kidnapping.)
My prediction is that the instance of reported molestation will go
way down (leading people to believe that it wasn't that big of a
problem in the first place) because it has become too dangerous to
report.
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| Herb,
I guess it's me but I'm having a hard time understanding exactly what
you meant by your last note.
Boys are victims of sexual abuse far less often than girls. Although
the intrusion is just as wrong, it is far less prevolent.
Did you say that because male victims of sexual abuse wrestle with the
stigma of homosexality at a young age which allows them to accept homo-
sexuality as adults? What a dreadful thought.
Abuse by a male is certainly as discusting a crime as abuse by a woman.
I do know that the vast majority of abuse is done by men. I know the
statistics have been quoted in here at least 10 times.
As a side comment, I think child rapists and molesters should suffer
the same penalties as murderers. There is no more violent a crime.
Kate
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| Herb,
In reading this and the other related notestring, I believe that
you are really interested in exploring the "why" of the abuse.
To that end, you and the other noters are conducting a very rational
and civilized discussion, which I am now proud to be a contributor.
In my mind, POWER over another who is perceived as weaker is the
motivating factor in child abuse of all kinds. In our society,
with power vested in males, the natural prey is women and children.
I also think that women who abuse are "exercising" this power over
a weaker entity. I have noticed that abused children often abuse
those weaker than themselves, younger children and pets.
I agree that we, society, need to empower women to stop the abuse
cycle, but as has been stated here it is very difficult to convince
women to leave situations where abuse is occuring due to self esteem
issues, financial concerns, and other reasons. More work in this
area must be done, support centers and other programs would be useful.
I also agree with the observation that when women claim abuse of
their children, the childrens' custody is awarded to the fathers
and the mother is jailed/sanctioned. This will indeed lower the
incidence of reportings. Maybe judges need some more education
in this area, so they can render more humane judgments. After all,
judges are supposedly acting in the "best interests of the child."
As we can all see, this is a very difficult topic but I appreciate
everyone's concern in helping these children.
Sue
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