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Conference turris::womannotes-v2

Title:ARCHIVE-- Topics of Interest to Women, Volume 2 --ARCHIVE
Notice:V2 is closed. TURRIS::WOMANNOTES-V5 is open.
Moderator:REGENT::BROOMHEAD
Created:Thu Jan 30 1986
Last Modified:Fri Jun 30 1995
Last Successful Update:Fri Jun 06 1997
Number of topics:1105
Total number of notes:36379

964.0. "Feminist Haters" by BSS::BLAZEK (fire spirit) Fri Jan 26 1990 14:31

On yesterday's Donahue the topic was Men Who Hate Feminists.  It was a
hard show to watch for a variety of reasons, and I was not able to sit
through the whole thing.  This is what I saw and heard, however.

The panel consisted of a man with long hair who wore a skirt, which is
cool, who said at one time he loved feminists until they discriminated
against *his* desire to express his equality with them, a PhD (who was
the most inarticulate, rude, interruptive person I've ever listened to)
who claimed men need to express their anger against women and lamented
that women don't allow men to do this (uh huh), a man who admitted his
wife does do most of the cooking unless she has additional chores (his
word) at which time he takes her out for dinner and how when women say 
bad things to men and make them feel less than a man that sometimes men
don't mean to but they have no other choice than to strike their wives,
and once I got through these three I couldn't go on any more and I had
to turn off the TV and find solace in a book.

When a woman called in and began talking about the Montreal murders,
Donahue interrupted her and basically brow-beat her into toning down
her references to that particular man who hated feminists.

What's frightening is these men looked as yuppie and upstanding with
good ol' American values as any man walking on the street.  Or down
the corridors of a Digital building.  Or standing in front of a class
at a major university.  Or teaching math to 5th graders.  What affect
are Feminist Haters (both male and female) having on the world today, 
and the world of tomorrow? 

Are Feminist Haters threatened by women's strength?  Several women in 
the audience felt it was a male self-confidence issue.  What do you
think?

Do Feminist Haters make good fathers?
Good husbands?
Good leaders?
Good friends?
What percentage of society is actually working *against* women?
And how do you know whether you've met a Feminist Hater?

Carla

T.RTitleUserPersonal
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964.1the only easy question in .0ULTRA::ZURKOWe're more paranoid than you are.Fri Jan 26 1990 14:596
>And how do you know whether you've met a Feminist Hater?

When you get into a discussion on language (for instance, using 'girl' to refer
to women, or 'men or guys' to refer to women), and they ignore you, or look
offended, or roll their eyes :-).
	Mez
964.2beg pardon?TLE::RANDALLliving on another planetFri Jan 26 1990 15:0010
>What's frightening is these men looked as yuppie and upstanding with
>good ol' American values as any man walking on the street.  Or down
>the corridors of a Digital building.  Or standing in front of a class
>at a major university.  Or teaching math to 5th graders. 
    
    What did you expect them to look like?  Did you think only
    rednecks in cowboy hats or unemployed pipefitters beat their
    wives?
    
    --bonnie
964.3GEMVAX::KOTTLERFri Jan 26 1990 15:204
    re .2
    
    actually, that is kind of close to what I thought...it comes as
    more of a shock when you hear about the "guy next door" doing it.
964.4BSS::BLAZEKfire spiritFri Jan 26 1990 16:049
I am in no way suggesting I believe yuppie men are incapable or more
unlikely to commit crimes or harbor intense hatred/resentment towards
women or perpetuate the sick injustice of domestic violence.  On the
contrary.  I am suggesting just the opposite, as did the show.  Which
is not, of course, what those fine upstanding men intended to convey.

Carla (a non-yuppie punker)

964.5consider the sourceUSIV02::CSR209Brown_roFri Jan 26 1990 18:4911
    Please consider the source, Carla. Donahue, Winfrey, and Geraldo
    are really about entertainment, not about news. Their rating points
    are based on the controversy they can stir up; they are quite capable
    of finding one wacko with an extreme view, and present them as being
    representative of something. It is a form of tabloid television, and is
    not a particularly responsible branch of the journalistic trade. These
    shows are about a half-step away from the National Enquirer, in my
    opinion.
    
    -roger
    
964.6Never quit hoping for the good stuff!CSC32::K_KINNEYThu Feb 01 1990 20:5123
    
    	RE .5
    
    	I do agree with Bruce about those kind of shows Carla.
    
    	However, in reference to how to tell if you are confronted
    	with one...
    
    	Unless they choose to be totally overt about it, you don't.
    	I heard an observation made once that stated since the rules
    	and regs about treating <insert favorite group here> as equals
    	started getting enforced (with whatever degree this occurs)
    	in various places, the overt behaviour has gone underground
    	and become quite covert.  They may smile and treat you just
    	fine while you are watching them...but don't turn your back.
    	As this implies, it doesn't only apply to feminist haters but
    	<favourite group again> haters as well. I guess it's just part
    	of human nature but it's sure not my favourite part. I always 
    	keep hoping (you always need to do that) that the best in people
    	will come to the surface like cream. And then we can truly
    	begin to enjoy the wonderfullness in one another and quit fussing
    	about the negatives.
    							kim
964.7pointerGEMVAX::KOTTLERFri Feb 02 1990 09:266
    re .5 -
    
    If you think the feminist haters on the Donahue show were just "wackos
    with extreme views" and didn't represent anything real, take a look
    at soapbox topic # 408 on feminists...
    
964.8hatred is a very STRONG wordTEEOFF::GRACEFri Feb 02 1990 12:1914
RE .1

Feminist hater: when you get into discussion regarding 'language' and
they roll their eyes.

...................

I disagree! I WILL roll my eyes when I hear the discussion regarding
'language'. It has to do with my personal observation/opinions  of the subject.

It would be wrong for someone to label me a FEMINIST HATER for that
reason alone. Not to mention narrow minded 

Dave
964.9why did it take so long?ULTRA::ZURKOWe&#039;re more paranoid than you are.Fri Feb 02 1990 12:202
Ah thank you Dave. I was wondering why no one was rising to the bait...
	Mez
964.10WAHOO::LEVESQUEI spit at you apathy, and seducer deceitFri Feb 02 1990 12:515
 Some of us fish who are lucky enough to be "caught and released" learn to
stop rising at certain baits (unless the presentation is just about perfect). 
:-)

 The Doctah
964.11touch�ULTRA::ZURKOWe&#039;re more paranoid than you are.Fri Feb 02 1990 13:014
>(unless the presentation is just about perfect). 

ouch!
	Mez
964.12The movement still hits some nerves after 150 years!CSC32::CONLONLet the dreamers wake the nation...Sat Feb 03 1990 09:0234
    	RE: Feminist topic in soapbox (408.*)
    
    	Well, I thought the responses would be a lot worse than they've
    	been so far, considering the attitudes about women that some people
    	routinely display in the 'box.  True, some have included the usual
    	hateful and ugly stereotypes, but considering the sources of those
    	comments, I don't regard them as insults. Other comments were nice!
    
    	One thing that occured to me (shortly after the topic started) was
    	how odd it is that one of the kindest things that can be said about
    	women in such topics (as a COMPLIMENT) is that the "best" women are
    	"TOO BUSY" (with making it on our own) to "waste time" with feminism.
    	It strikes me as odd that being too busy to get involved with political
    	and social change is regarded as a positive trait in women.  (Must be
    	because a lot of people still like to describe the movement as "silly"
    	and feminists as "insecure," which are typical stabs against women.)
    
    	Can anyone imagine reading a comment like this about men, though:
    
    		"Well, politics is fine, but the men *I* truly admire
    		are those who are too busy with their own careers to
    		waste time with it.  Political activists are silly and
    		insecure."
    
    		"Well, sports is fine, but the men *I* truly admire
    		are those who are too busy with their own careers to
    		waste time with it.  Amateur atheletes are silly and
    		insecure."
    
    	Has anyone else ever noticed this trend (to praise women who are
    	"too busy" to be involved with feminism?)
    
    	Three guesses as to what the purpose of this attempt at manipulation 
    	is supposed to be...
964.13TOKNOW::METCALFEEschew Obfuscatory MonikersTue Feb 13 1990 15:348
    
>    		"Well, sports is fine, but the men *I* truly admire
>    		are those who are too busy with their own careers to
>    		waste time with it.  Amateur atheletes are silly and
>    		insecure."


My wife could say this about me!  8^)