Conference turris::womannotes-v2

    Sounds like it would be a pretty busy undertaking!
    
    I haven't tried it myself, but there are some topics in other files
    you might want to look at, also:
    
    womannotes version 1
    topic 559, DEC and working mothers
    
    womannotes (this version)
    topic 195, Working women's unworkable world
    
    parenting (located at TERZA::PARENTING, where you could also enter
    your note)
    topic 514, working mothers
    
    -Jody
    
    p.s.  (hi, Charlotte)
    

    In spring 1988, I was working 30 hours, opening a start-up busines
    s on the side, taking two MBA courses, and being a mother to one
    child.  Then I found I was pregnant.
    
    My recommendation: Don't do it.  Your health (physical and emotional),
    and time with your baby are just too precious to try to accomplish
    everything at once at the expense of doing anything well or at least
    happily.  A busy life is one thing.  This is an extreme.  You don't
    have to do everything at once!
    
    -Tracy (who is leaving Digital for the last time in about an hour
    for many of the above reasons!)
    

I worked all day and went to school in the evenings until I was 8.5 months
along.  (I was kinda hoping I wouldn't have to take that calculus final ...)
After our daughter was born, I took a sabatical from school for ONE year and
after I went back, I graduated when she was nearly 2 years old.  It was very 
difficult and I wouldn't recommend it to anyone (now), but back then I was 
obsessed and wanted to finish.

It's true that I can't go back, but if I could, I would've done things
differently!

    	In my case, I started on a four year degree when my son was a year
    	old, and I finished when he was five years old.
    
    	During those years, I worked two half time jobs (for a total of
    	40 hours) and it worked out very well for me.  It was tiring, but
    	I still managed to have a lot of time with the baby, and it was
    	worth it for both our lives later.  
    
    	I was also breast feeding during the first two and a half years 
    	or so that I was in school.  With our time together so precious, 
    	I decided to leave the decision to wean completely up to him, and 
    	he didn't make that choice until six weeks before his fourth birthday.)
    
    	Some things that helped:  When Ryan was still very little, I had
    	my school schedule arranged to provide HUGE breaks between classes
    	at lunchtime.  I would start school at 7:00 am, and then would have
    	a three hour lunch break (at which time, I would go home and get
    	Ryan from the next door neighbor babysitter and would take him to
    	the beach on the back of my ten speed bike.)  
    
    	We picked the part of Waikiki beach that consists of grassy lawns
    	and picnic areas (although it was right on the ocean) so that he
    	wouldn't get real sandy when he drooled, etc.  We would have lunch,
    	play for awhile, nurse and then take a nap on our blanket.  After
    	lunch, I'd take him back home on the ten-speed, then would ride
    	my bike back to Univ.of Hawaii (which was just up the road from us.)
    
    	My two jobs always included something parttime in the evening, so
    	that it would take place when he was mostly asleep already.  At
    	both the jobs I had during my last two years of school, he was
    	allowed to go with me to work some of the time.  (At one television
    	studio where I worked, I got him a job as an actor, and at the
    	Cable station where I worked evenings, he was allowed to go with
    	me because I worked in a television control room by myself.)
    
    	The cable job was during the evening, and when I brought him, we
    	would also bring his little sleeping bag.  Most of my work came
    	during the breaks between movies/programming, and the rest of the
    	time I spent monitoring TV equipment.  During my monitor time,
    	he would sit on my lap (and when it was time to sleep, he would
    	curl up in his sleeping bag next to my chair so that I could watch
    	him sleep.)  He looked so cute!
    
    	Also, his father and I were both in college at the same time, so
    	we sometimes arranged our schedules so that we could take turns
    	watching him between classes.  With the weather warm all the time,
    	this worked out great when we could do it!
    
    	If you do plan to work, go to school and raise a baby, the main
    	thing is that it takes a lot of imagination sometimes to come up
    	with the kind of schedule that works for you and your baby.
    
    	My son seemed very happy through the whole experience, and that
    	was one of the things that I watched out for most carefully.  
    	
    	All in all, it turned out to be worth it for us.  Whether or not
    	some kind of arrangement would work out for you and your baby is
    	something only you can decide.  
    
    	Best luck with whatever you decide to do!

    I recommend you finish school first. It would be much easier on you,
    the baby, and your husband if you finish before the baby is born. I
    finished graduate school before I was married; my husband is going now.
    So, on the nights he's at school or the lab I have double duty, and the
    kids miss him. If it weren't for the kids he'd probably take 2
    courses/semester instead of one and get it over with quicker.
    
    Take care of you now. After the children arrive it is really hard to do
    things for yourself.
    
    Gale

    When Alexander was born, I was working full time at Digital, and had
    five courses remaining for my MBA (nights). Those five courses were my
    poorest grades in the MBA program. It was very hard, particularly as my
    job at Digital required travel almost weekly. The UP side is that my
    son and his dad got to spend a lot of time alone together, and that was
    great for both of them. The DOWN side is that if I was given the
    opportunity of studying, or playing with the new baby, the new baby
    always won. 
    
    There are several elements to consider here: 1) your
    stamina/health/endurance (which may change after delivery) 2) How many
    and what kind of courses you have left to complete (do you have all
    classwork, or some paper courses, or what?) 3) how supportive will your
    husband be? Will he babysit during classtime and studytime without
    repercussions? 4) Will your college allow you to defer, or is there a
    particular timeframe within which the degree must be completed to
    ensure that all credits will be accepted? 5) Does your personal
    situation (health, age, etc) require that children be an option in the
    short term?
    
    One final point - just because you decide to have a child now does not
    mean it will happen like clockwork. It took us three years of "trying" 
    to conceive our first child, one year of "trying" to conceive our
    second - and all the fertility tests came back with no problems. 
    
    You cannot always plan life to the nth degree. My advice is to do what I
    did - try to conceive, and when it happens, it will work out. I would
    not trade Alexander or Nicholas for anything in the world, and one is
    usually able to tackle whatever one puts their minds to.  I completed
    my MBA, still work full time, and although I sometimes feel a little
    crazy, try to take one day at a time. Trust in yourself - it will work out.
    
    Good luck
    
    Lee Ann
    

	Why is it always assumed that a husband is involved?

	I'm a single parent, living alone with my son, no 
	financial support.

	I was going to night school before I had my son.
	He is now 3 years old, and I'm considering going
	back to school nights.  The biggest problem I have
	now is that he is at a sitter all day - Do I also
	want him to be at a sitter 1 or 2 nights a week
	while I go to school also?  

	It may be easier if you wait.  Then again, maybe
	not.  After the MBA will there be that great job
	you've always wanted that you have to put long hours
	in?  Same problem (at least in my case)...

	Good luck
	/robin

I am currently working a full time job, going to school nights and have a 14
month old daughter. It is extremely difficult for me. Right now I dont feel
like I am good at anything. I was going to school when we decided to start our
family and I didnt think it would be to bad.  I dont regret having my baby she
is the joy of my life but I should have finished school first. I take late
classes (8:05 to 10:35) so that I can have a few hours with Sarah before school.
Maybe when it is all over with I will think it was worth it but right now it is
the pits. 

Good luck, having a baby is the best thing that I ever did but weight things out
carefully.

Bonnie

    Sounds familiar to me.  Right now, I'm pregnant, taking a summer
    class that I was signed up for before I got pregnant, and working
    the evening shift at Dec.  Believe me it's tough.  I'm going through
    my morning sickness right now and have to be in the class every
    morning for 4 1/2 hours. Thank goodness that the class is one third
    of the way done. It's tough being green and having to take notes
    and sit still for that long period of time.  To top it off, we only
    get a 10 minute break!!!  Two weeks left, thank goodness.  :')
    
    I plan on taking just one course this fall - portugues.  I am
    going to need to speak it next spring.  That's it!!  Then
    I plan on taking a year off from school to spend with my baby.
    
    Again, the choice is your's.  Do what you feel is right.  
    

    Some schools offer courses on video tape.  This may help ease some
    of the burden of finding a sitter and cut down on commute time.
    On the other hand it may be very distracting to try and watch class
    with the kid around.  Luckily there is always the rewind button.
    
    I've taken six graduate courses at UMASS this way.  Overall I've 
    been very pleased with it.  
    
    			Bb