Conference turris::womannotes-v2

513.0. "True Story" by REGENT::BROOMHEAD (Don't panic -- yet.) Tue Mar 21 1989 12:55

    A month or so ago, I acquired a new friend.  She told me a story
    (about herself) which I would like to share.
    
    A year and a half ago, when she was thirty-seven, she started to
    have a physical problem.  She went to this doctor and that one,
    and the diagnosis, which had begun as ulcers and had wandered from
    there, was finally settled as being a tumor.  Because it was a
    uterine tumor, the diagnosing doctors sent her to her gynocologist.
    
    So, you must picture her lying flat on her back on The Table, with
    her feet in The Stirrups, thinking, "I've suffered from irregular
    periods all my life, I was diagnosed as sterile nearly twenty years
    ago, and now my womb does this to me."
    
    Meanwhile, her gynocologist has taken her stethoscope out of the
    special refrigerator that all doctors keep for such things, and
    slapped it on her patient's belly.  Then she starts to giggle, and
    my friend roars out, "It's not funny!"
    
    The doctor continues to giggle, and then, to the tune (?) of the
    Nyah-na-nyah song, chants "Tumors don't have heartbeats!"
    
    		*		*		*
    
    I love that punchline.  I'd like this note to be used for funny
    but true stories like this one.
    
    (Post scriptum:  After assuring her that she wasn't joking, the
    doctor had her listen too, and sure enough, there was a fast,
    ticky heartbeat in her tummy.  Melissa is now a sweet child, who
    is starting to learn that there is a life away from a parent's
    side.)
    
    						Ann B.

    I had a friend in a similar situation.  
      She thought she was a couple of months pregnant and had made an appt.
    for the following Monday (this was Friday).  
    Saturday she was taking a shower and felt this very bad pain on her
    side.  She told her boyfriend about it and he said to take it easy.
    She didn't feel any better so they decided to go to the hospital.  He
    was in the emergancy waiting room when the dr. told him to go with him,
    that he had to get suited up.  He asked for what and the dr. said that
    in about 1/2 hr. he was going to be a daddy.
      The baby weighed 8lbs ?oz  and was healthy.  Neither mom nor dad knew
    of anything beforehand.     WEIRD!!