Conference turris::womannotes-v2

    
    YES! I read that book about a year and a half ago! It is totally
    amazing. 
    
    Let me make it clear that I don't go in for these self help books,
    but this book really opened my eyes. Admittedly it gives some pretty
    extreme examples of self-destructive behavior in addictive
    relationships, but I think most women will find a bit of themselves
    in it.
    
    The basic thrust of the book is that you cannot change someone else,
    your love cannot "save" someone else if they don't want to be saved,
    and you have to concern yourself with YOU. 
    
    After reading this book, I gave it to my sister-in-law. (I love
    my brother but he is not my idea of the ideal husband). It changed
    her life. I don't want to go into long explanations, but I highly
    recommend this book if you are struggling in, or contemplating,
     a relationship with someone who is not giving you what you need.
                         
    Now, I wasn't going to write any more replies because I have work
    to do, but this one I couldn't pass up.
    
    Roberta
    

    I have a close friend who is compulsively attracted to men
    who are ultimately very emotionally abusive and cruel.
    
    She has read just about every book on the market, and finally decided
    to get some counseling, which she has now been doing for one year.
    To be honest, the books appeared to just identify the problem, but
    were not able to help her begin to address it. Through counseling,
    she has made INCREDIBLE improvements, and am happy to say, is now
    seeing a wonderful man, has a whole new outlook on herself and
    how she approaches and deals with relationships.
    
    I strongly suggest reading material, but if the problem is of a
    significant magnitude, please see someone.
    
    Try these books also:
    
    			The Pleasers
    			Men Who Hate Women and The Women Who Love Them
    
    Both are inexpensive (paperback) and available in most bookstores
    I have also read all three, and it appears that a little bit of
    each might show you the full picture of the problem.
    
    
    Good luck.
    
    
    

    
    In fact, the author of "Women Who Love Too Much" does recommend
    counseling. Actually, she insists that this is the only way to get
    well. She also gives advice on how to set up a support group of
    women.
                          
    A lot of women make the mistake of trying to get the man to go to
    counseling, when he refuses. The author says that if he won't go,
    YOU should still go.
            
    Roberta
    

    Pat,
    
    Women Who Love Too Much is by far one of the best books on
    relationships that I have read.  It is also probably one of the
    hardest.  It makes you look at somethings in yourself that you might
    not want to see.  I was tempted to throw it away and say that's
    not me, but I forced myself to be open, and read the whole book.
    That was about 2 years ago.  I have read the book many many times
    in the past 2 years.  I seem to get more and more from it each time
    I pick it up.  I have also been in counseling, read some other quite
    good books (which I can get you titles of if you want) and done
    alot of talking to the man I am involved with right now.  
    
    One thing I didn't like about the book was that it put alot of the
    responsibility on the woman for causing (or allowing) the problems
    to happen in the relationship.  
    
    Another thing I would suggest, depending on your learning style,
    is that there are support groups in the area that deal with Woman Who
    Love Too Much.  I have a hard time speaking up in groups, so I tend
    to read books as opposed to joining groups.
    
    To make a long story short - It's a GREAT book.
    
    Andrea
    

This book was discussed in womannotes-v1.  Perhaps our archivist could 
point us to the topic?

    
    For more discussion on "Women who love too much", see the topics
    by the same name in:
    
    MOSAIC::WOMANNOTES-V1.NOTE   topic 555
    TERZA::PSYCHOLOGY            topic 7