Conference turris::womannotes-v2

    Join the club.   I'm due end of April with my first.
    So far the biggest problem I had was in the beginning;
    During my 6th week I became violently ill;  felt like food poisoning.
    I threw up on my bus during my morning commute and for the rest
    of the month I had to switch to taking Trains.  This increased
    my commuting time an additional hour per day! 
    Looking back on it, I should have called in sick for that one week,
    because I was so sick.  I went to work nauseous and I would come home
    and throw up.   I was very weak and had lost 5 pounds in only 5 days.
    I even came home with a low fever once.  My doctor told me I'd
    probably feel that way for a few weeks so I forced myself to make
    it to work and through the day.               
    
    After that first week, it was still miserable but not as severe.
    It was difficult meeting with customers.  I was always concerned
    that I might throw up at the wrong time.  There was very little
    I could eat and had lost 10 pounds by the end of the 7th week.
    This was alot of weight for me.  I looked terrible and felt terrible.
    I was also quite depressed (hormones I guess).
    
    One day I was at a customer site and waited
    too long to go to their cafeteria to eat.  When I was waiting on
    line I got the shakes and started to feel faint.  I grabbed some
    orange juice and that helped.
    
    It was a very frustrating time but at least my manager was real
    understanding.   By the middle of my 4th month I started
    feeling good again.  Now I'm in my 6th month and feel great.
    The only problem I have now is that I can no longer ski on weekends.
    bummer!  (I guess I'll have to take up knitting)
    
    Good luck with your travels and your pregnancy,
    Bev

    Congratulations ... I am also pregnant and due at the very end of
    March.  This is my first and though I haven't really enjoyed the
    pregnancy per se I love feeling the baby move, hearing the heartbeat
    and seeing the ultrasound.
    
    I am planning to take quite a bit of time off from work.  I know
    myself well enough to know that it'll take me some time to get
    used to my new role and that I wouldn't be very useful at work
    during the transition.  I have decided to take advantage of the
    8 weeks of short-term disability, 4 weeks of accumulated vacation
    and 6 weeks of parental leave.  I have been working for Digital
    for almost 10 years and feel fine about taking the time.
    
    Good luck with the rest of your pregnancy and the baby.
    
    			Abby

Maureen,

Congratulations!

I had my first in March.  It was a vaginal birth and I took off the 6 weeks
of STD afterwards plus 2 weeks of parental leave (unpaid).  I also had off
about a month before (starting 2 weeks before the due date; the baby was late).

For me the only thing that I wish was different is that I would have had
8 weeks of PAID STD for the birth.  You only get that if it is a C-section.
I was pretty torn up from the birth and could have used the extra time, but
I didn't push it with my doctor.

I didn't have any troubles talking about it at work and neither should you.
It's nothing to be ashamed of.  Take as much time as you think that you will
want/need.  You can always arrange now for extra time off and take less.  
Don't sell this short.  Birthing (and pregnancy) is physically and emotionally
EXHAUSTING. You will need and deserve the time off. 

Good luck and enjoy!

           Carol

    I had my first baby at the end of 1987.  I took the 6 six STD, 4
    weeks vacation and 8 weeks parenal leave, 1 week personal leave
    (my management needed that extra week to realize that I could be
    just as useful with my hours changing from 815 - 500 to 715 -400).
    My son was also 2 weeks late, so I had a month off before the birth.
    Personally, I wished it was allowed to work right up to the birth
    and taging the 'before birth' weeks onto the end of the STD.
    
    I found that I was always very tired.  I even slept at the nurses'
    office a couple of lunch hours.  I do alot of walking in my job
    which was awful during the last months.  I also had a hard time
    going up and down stairs.  I tried to plan my work so that I could
    do all my walking around only once a day.  
    
    Don't sell yourself short on the time off you need after the birth,
    I believe I just took one week too many (management needed week).
    
    Good Luck to all of you!!!!!
    
    Anna
    

    all the women I know here in colorado springs DEC who have had babies
    have worked up to the time the water broke.  they did not have to
    take off early.  maybe its up to the person?
    
    vivian

    You might double check to make sure your insurance or HMO covers
    you when you will be out of the country, just in case your were
    to deliver early.  I wanted to go visit my father one month before
    my son was due and my HMO said they don't cover expenses if I was
    to go into labor/delivery anytime 6 weeks before my due date while
    I was out of the city.  Fortunately my son arrived on the due date
    (12/25/86)....but then again I didn't get to go visit my father!
    
    Cathy
    

	I worked up to two weeks before, and came back 6 weeks later,
for standard short-term disability.  I also skiied into the late 7th month,
rode my bicycle to the 9th month, and went to the beach on the due date.
I would have worked until the last day, but Digital (management, personnel)
asked me to leave for liability reasons.  Note-- arrange your insurance
for dependents before you leave, my PSA forgot and it was *^%# to do 
when I got back.  Also, arrange day-care in advance.

	I also had no difficulty with nausea or morning sickness once
I discovered that B6 controls it.  If I started to feel nauseous, I would
take a B-Complex, sometimes with a pick-up shake (milk, juice, protein 
powder).  The nausea would disappear, and I never got sick.  I found that
the doctors prescribe very minimal vitamins, I need more B and C.
Adelle Davis writes about it in "Let's Have Healthy Children", a
book I cannot recommend too much for a very in-depth look at health
that you won't find in woman's magazines and pulp health guides.
Betty and Si Kamens have also written "Total Nutrition During Pregnancy",
another great book.

	The only things I wished I did more was talk about it 
with other mothers and wise folk, and more lower back exercises.
I did take classes and learn breathing for a natural child birth,
and it lowered my anxiety immensely.  But more is better.  One great
piece of advice I got:  You don't have to follow anyone's advice.
I hadn't realized how many well-meaning busybodies there are, and 
ignoring their gossip was worth it.  There is much great wisdom and
folklore too, but you must have confidence and trust in yourself and
your ability to mother.  You have it all.

	Good luck, enjoy this very special time, keep healthy and happy!

	The final weeks and afterward, it is easy to get tired,
and not even realize it.  Everyone seems to think they can continue
their activity levels and take care of a baby, until they collapse
and get wiser.  Do taper off, but do some of the things you like
in continuity.  

	The third day back from the hospital, we went to a movie.
It was wonderful to get out of the house and be human again, with
my son in a little front pack.  Seeing relatives is important, but
it's best to stick to home mostly.  Get together a travel pack and
all the little carriers so the logistics of going places is easier
and less tiring.

	I found a great day-care, in a house with 20-30 kids, close
enough to Digital to keep up nursing for 5 months full-time - I'd
visit at 10, again at lunch, and take my son home at 3.  I'd be
too tired to work afternoons usually.  After 5 months, I would
send in a bottle of expressed milk, and only nurse at night.  So
it is possible, with an understanding manager and day care provider,
to work and care for a child.  It can be tiring, but I found I
needed the stimulation of work, of adult society.

    re. .7:
    Holly,  I'm amazed that you were able to ski til your 7th month.
    Do you live in Colorado?  I was skiing til the end of my 5th month.
    But, stopped because I started getting big & thought it was too
    risky falling.  I'm an expert skier whose been skiing 16 years,
    so it's been difficult ending my ski season Jan 1;  when ski season
    is really just beginning.  But, where my husband & I ski (HUNTER
    Mtn, NY) it's too crowded and icy these days.
    
    My husband wanted to ski this Sat. and I wanted to go too and
    was very upset and jealous that he was going to be skiing without
    me.  During ski season, since my husband & I met, we would ski together
    every Saturday almost without fail.  The past 2 weekends were a
    very difficult adjustment for both of us psychologically.   I felt
    I was giving up a very important part of me.  

    I wasn't going to let my husband ski without me.
    I finally agreed to let him go under 2 conditions:
    1.  He doen't have any fun.
    2.  He comes home earlier enough so he has energy to take me out
    Sat night.
    
    Did you go through anything similar?
    Bev

    Not on  skiing,  but  during  my  sister-in-law's  preganancy,  my
    brother  gave  up  alcohol and coffee, and obeyed the same dietary
    restrictions  she  had  to.  He  referred  to  it  as  a "sympathy
    strike". :-) I think it helped their (already strong) marriage.

--David

    re. .10
    
    That's very admirable of him.  My husband acts like he's pregnant
    by joining me for ice cream everynight.  Unfortunately for him he
    can't afford the extra calories.  I think he's looking forward to
    after I have the baby, because he thinks that then we will both
    get to go on a diet together.  He was always jealous of my hi-speed
    metabolism.

	What I did was have a lot of confidence in the power
of our bodies, nourished with food and activity, to produce healthy
offspring.   And took heart from LeBoyer, who said there is no need
to fear such a natural, wonderful process.  Overcoming fear is one
of the greatest of miracles.

	As a relative novice during a year with lots of powdery
snow, I kept to low intermediate trails, and had a blast.  I fell,
without fear, and found that it is effortless and even fun.  It's 
the fear that tightens us up and hurts us, and of course, it is easy 
to panic, but not inevitable.  In my humble opinion, I would recommend 
pulling back to intermediate or snowier slopes if you want to keep 
skiing, not icy, rocky ones, even as an expert.  Find a place with 
outstanding views, and then going slower is more fun.

	For me, in this world, somehow it doesn't work to limit
one's fun.  So, I would have either gone and skiied separate trails,
taken more breaks, or asked for consideration - special dinner.
Your second idea is great - I believe that if someone you're related
to wants to take on an extra outing, then the idea of synching up
afterward makes a lot of sense.  

	I never really came to that quandary until after birth, when
I was so tired after nursing all day (and doing the housework, yardwork,
and working full-time) that I didn't want to party til midnight.  
I didn't get any sympathy, so I stayed home and stewed.  At that point,
that kind of communication - requesting an exchange, a favor, would
have been just the thing.  In relationships, when you start going
by the least common denominator, things are tough.  When you can
find a way to make more fun, more good times, you're heading for
greatest common multiple, some sort of higher mathematics and better
relationships.  I'm slowly getting more sure of my self and assertive 
that way, so it does help.