Conference turris::womannotes-v2

    (From the Newsletter of the Association for Humanistic Psychology,
              7:3, December 1970, page 2)




    Woman - Which Includes Man, of Course:  an Experience in Awareness
    ------------------------------------------------------------------

    The theme of the '70 Annual Meeting, "Humanistic Images of Man"
    meant, of course, both men and women:  generic man.  To take
    exception to this use of the term "man" is often seen as defensive
    hair-splitting by an "emotional female".

    The following experience is an invitation to awareness in which you
    are asked to feel into and stay with your feelings through each
    step, letting them absorb you.  If you start intellectualizing, go
    back to the step where you can again sense your feelings.  Then
    proceed.  Keep count of how many times you need to go back.


    1.

    Consider reversing the convention theme to read Humanistic Images of
    Women, which, of course, includes both woman and man.  Feel into
    that, sense its meaning to you -- as a woman -- as a man.


    2.

    Think of it always being that way, every day of your life.  Feel the
    ever-presence of woman and feel the non-presence of man.  Absorb
    what it tells you about the importance and value of being woman --
    of being man.


    3.

    Recall that everything you have ever read all your life uses only
    female pronouns - she, her - meaning both girls and boys, both women
    and men.  Recall that most of the voices on radio and most of the
    faces on TV are women's; when important events are covered; on
    commercials; and on late talk shows.  Recall that you have one male
    senator representing you in Washington.


    4.

    Feel into the fact that women are the leading people, the power-
    centers, the prime-movers.  Man, whose natural role is husband and
    father, fulfills himself through nurturing children and making the
    home a refuge for woman.  This is only natural to balance the
    biological role of woman who devotes her whole body to the race
    during pregnancy:  the most revered power know to Woman (and man, of
    course).


    5.

    Then feel further into the obvious biological explanation for woman
    as the ideal:  her genital construction.  By design, female genitals
    are compact and internal, protected by her body.  Male genitals are
    so exposed that he must be protected from outside attack to assure
    the perpetuation of the race.  His vulnerability obviously requires
    sheltering.


    6.

    Thus, by nature, males are more passive than females and have a
    desire in sexual relations to be symbolically engulfed by the
    protective body of the woman.  Males psychologically yearn for this
    protection, fully realizing their masculinity at this time, and
    feeling exposed and vulnerable at other times.  A man experiences
    himself as "whole man" when thus engulfed.


    7.

    If the male denies these feelings, he is unconsciously rejecting his
    masculinity.  Therapy is thus indicated to help him adjust to his
    own nature.  Of course, therapy is administered by a woman, who has
    the education and wisdom to facilitate openness leading to the
    male's growth and self-actualization.


    8.

    To help him feel into his defensive emotionality he is invited to
    get in touch with the "child in him".  He remembers his sister's
    jeering at his primitive genitals that "flap around foolishly".  She
    can run, climb, and ride horseback unencumbered.  Obviously, since
    she is free to move, she is encouraged to develop her body and mind
    in preparation for her active responsibilities of adult womanhood. 
    The male vulnerability needs female protection, so he is taught the
    less active, caring, virtues of homemaking.


    9.

    Because of his vagina-envy, he learns to bind up his genitals, and
    learns to feel ashamed and unclean because of his nocturnal
    emissions.  Instead, he is encouraged to dream of getting married,
    waiting for the item of his fulfillment:  When "his woman" gives him
    a girl-child to care for.  He knows that if it is a boy-child he has
    failed somehow - but they can try again.


    10.

    In getting to the "child in him" these early experiences are
    reawakened.  He is at an encounter group entitled, "On Being a Man"
    which is led by a woman.  In a circle of 19 men and 4 women, he
    begins to work through some of his deep feelings.

    What feelings do _you_ feel he will express?



    How many times did you have to go back?

    Thanks for including this!  I have it in my files from the early
    70's, too, but I can't remember whether or not we ever actually
    dared to _use_ it with a group!
    
    Nancy

    Wow!  I read the article with considerable interest, even though I had
    to go back five times.  It gave me a glimmer of insight that I had
    never experienced before.  I guess I have some thinking to do here.
                                                                      
    Mike

    I kept trying to shake the notion that crept into the back of my
    head, the one that said, "Hey, what's going on here, this isn't
    how it's supposed to be....this is all wrong!"....
    
    And then I thought to myself...omigosh...if the culture described
    in this text is wrong, then what the devil is going on in our society
    today????
    
    What a mind-blower...
    
	-Jody
        

    re: .5

        BUT "all that genital stuff" in reverse is *exactly* what has been
    used against women for centuries!!!!!!!!!!!  In the name of "protecting
    us," etc.!
    
    Your comment that "maybe its because I could see where it was headed"
    indicates that you did not deal with the exercise on a _feeling_
    level, but rather, on an intellectual level.  On a feeling level,
    this can be pretty scary stuff -- like the way I _felt_ the racist
    implications of "flesh-colored bandaids" when *that* first hit home.  
    
    Are you willing to put aside "thinking" and get into "feeling" and
    try it again?
    
    -- Nancy

    <--(.7)
    
    Actually, "girls bikes" were made that way not because of supposedly-
    weak muscles, but rather because girls were always presumed to be
    wearing skirts/dresses!

    The reason  for "girl's bikes" lower top tube is that "ladies wear
    skirts."  It  really  is  possible  to  ride a woman's bike with a
    reasonably  long  skirt.  Now  that  women  can  wear  appropriate
    clothing  for  bicycling,  woman's bikes (in the old meaning) have
    almost disappeared.  But I digress.

--David

    Maggie,
    
    As a girl I thought the absence of the bar on girls bikes was
    to keep from hurting girls if they should slip off the seat
    and fall on it.
    
    Bonnie

    Bonnie - does that mean that the bar was meant as a toughen-up-
    through-pain device for boys who fell off. . .?
    
    
    Oooooooo, that smarts. . .
    
    Steve
    

    I read a SF book, Jerry will no doubt be able to provide title(s)
    and author(s), which was set on a planet or culture (actually I
    may have read several) where the jest of .1 was the way things
    were. I didn't go back at all when I read .1. Perhaps it's because
    I didn't understand exactly when I was supposed to but I think it's
    more likely that there was nothing new in it for me. The idea of
    men as the protected gender is one I have seen before. It is, in
    someways, an attractive one. I can understand how some (fewer all
    the time) would actually hold on to it.

    Much of what is in that article does describe what our cultures have
    used to hold women back. Articles like .1 make it easier for a man
    to see the foolishness of them. Perhaps it makes it easier for women
    too? I never did understand why women seemed to buy off on this
    'weaker sex' garbage. Using it as a excuse to do less (more possible now
    then 100 or even 20 years ago) I can see. There are lazy people of
    all types. But actually accepting the idea of being weaker and needing
    more protection? That I don't understand.

    It is easy for many men to accept the idea of weaker women because
    it feeds their ego (some men have them not all of us are as modest
    as I am :-)). A lot of us were taught it by our mothers though. Anyone
    remember hearing "You aren't supposed to hit girls!" Some how this
    always implied a) it's ok to hit boys and b) girls can't "take it".
    If we'd heard "You aren't supposed to hit {people,other kids,anyone}"
    we might not have thought of 'girls' as needing extra protection.

    			Alfred

    in re .13
    
    actually Steve when I thought that about the bar on the bike
    I never thought about how it might hurt a boy....I was kinda
    vague on male anatomy then! :-}. I think that there must
    have been some concern that I had picked up that a girl could
    loose her virginity by riding a boy's bike and I interpreted
    it to mean some unspecified sort of injury would happen if
    a girl fell on the bar.
    
    kinda weird now that I think about it...
    
    Bonnie

    re: .14
    
    When you hear all your life -- especially as a child -- to "be careful"
    (don't climb trees, etc.) and when everyone is _obviously_ more
    protective of you than of the same-aged boys around you, and when
    Daddy and other important men in your life do the heavy, dirty (as
    in outside-dirt, not bathroom-dirt!!) jobs for you, etc., etc.,
    you natrually grow up either: 
      thinking you "can't" do things that boys can do, 
          or preoccupied with your own health and safety, 
             or thinking that men "ought" to do whatever "men's tasks" 
             are and that you shouldn't have to!  
    
    Understand?

    - Nancy

>    But actually accepting the idea of being weaker and needing
>    more protection? That I don't understand.

There are so many things we accept because it's always been that way. Women not
being allowed to go topless, fer instance.

Also, if all your life you've been encouraged to be dependant, you _will_ be
lacking the skills to be strong enough to take care of yourself. Of course they
can be developed, but you might not know that.
	Mez

    RE: bikes, bar placement, and other mysteries of life
        (I'm lying about the mysteries of life. I think.)
    
    This bike-bar-placement discussion reminds me of the old argument
    for girls/women not participating in sports: They might injure
    their reproductive organs.
    
    Er, excuse me, but *whose* reproductive organs are the most
    vulnerable?!?!
    
    I couldn't imagine how such an idea got started until I remembered
    that the issue is about *power*, not biology.
    
    --DE
    

    Dawn,
    
    I brought up one reason why people have been so concerned with
    women injuring their reproductive organs once before. My feeling
    is that it grew out of the mortality rate in child birth. When
    women were so vulnerable as a result of biology a lot of
    erronious folk lore grew up in an effort to protect them. It was
    once proposed that too much education would also damage women's
    reproductive organs. The combination of better scientific/medical
    knowlege, better medical treatment and reliable contraceptives
    have made this a whole different world.
    
    Bonnie

    OK, Bonnie, I'll accept the theory RE: danger in childbirth,
    tho' I'm not completely convinced.
    
    HOWEVER: Too much education damaging the reproductive organs?
    
    Sure sounds like a power issue to me.
    
    --DE
    

    This article seems very similar to one written by Gloria Steinem a
    while back called something like "If Men Could Menstruate." It had
    a slightly different approach, saying how menstruation would be used
    as the reason only men could hold public office, be seen as reliable
    etc.  Funny thing is, it almost made sense. 

    re .1  "Thus, by nature, males are more passive than females..."
    
    
            Don't make me laugh.
    
    
    
    cc Goldberg and Co.
    
                                                   Russ P.

    re: education and reproductive organs
    
    I don't know if it's true for women, but for men...well, consider
    the converse of the phrase "He's all balls and no brains".
    
    --- jerry

    re: .27
    Aren't wet dreams completely uncontrollable?
    

    
    	re: .28
    
    	Nope. Ever hear the expression........awww nevermind.

Re- .14, abt. an imaginary planet whereupon women are dominant:
---------------------------------------------------------------
  That planet actually is our earth, and there is sufficient evidence that
there was a period of time that societies were  women-dominated. Consider
these: 

- the ancient Greek Mythology refers to the "amazones", fierce horse-
  riding women warriors,  that were finally beaten back by men.
  (that's where the explorers named the River Amazon in S.America from,
  although there were no "amazones" there)
- similar female warriors on horseback are the "Valkures" in the German 
  Mythology (all the European  Mythologies have common stories)- one of the 
  4 operas in R. Wagner's "the Ring of the Nibelungen"
Myths  are not totally untrue, but refer to some actual historical events
in the past of a nation.
- In one of the earliest greek Civilizations (approx.2400-1200 B.C.) on
  the island of Krete, the Minoan empire (King Minos, the Sacred Bull etc.)
  obviously women were the social leaders.   In the wall paintings preserved
  since  those times (you can see them if you visit Greece) only women in
  ceremonial outfits are sitting next to the king (they were not wives...),
  and men are serving dinner.
- the words "moon", MEN-(struation), MONth  in all European languages have
  a common origin.  It is postulated that early calendars were established
  by women-scholars (pre-Babylonian times), while the men were subservient,
  mainly taking care of the fields.  

Which of the two sexes is dominant in nature?  The females are generally
stronger(lions for instance), and, although the males exercise the role of
protection it seems this is done preparatively for the time of pregnancy, the
only time the female needs protection.  That's for mammals.  In insects
actually (bees) the female is clearly the boss.  On a lighter note: the female
spider"black widow" and some other spiders after lovemaking EATS the male (no
giggles please!  She eats him up, literally; the whole thing). 

These are some facts/thoughts that came to my mind, and HAVE NOTHING TO
DO WITH my preferences for women (dominant, submissive I like them all).
Hector
  

    re: Black Widows
    
         Not only that, but the male had to dance properly across her
    web to get to her.  If he misses a step he's eaten before he's had
    his chance.
    
    ASP

    re .1:  I had to go back several times, especially in the
    discussions of how the presence of male genitals serve in
    subtle ways to make one less valued, etc.

    The images, the feelings conjured up by a culture where women
    are in power because "that's the way it is" and men aren't
    for the same "reason"...and feeling the sameness/difference
    with our culture...I feel near to tears.

    -- Linda

<    The images, the feelings conjured up by a culture where women
<    are in power because "that's the way it is" and men aren't
<    for the same "reason"...and feeling the sameness/difference
<    with our culture...I feel near to tears.


       You might enjoy reading Pamela Sargent's "The Shore of Women"
       which is about just such a society. liesl

    re .34:
    
    Mike, _The_Shore_of_Women_ is filed under Science Fiction.
                                                   
                  /
                 (  ___
                  ) ///
                 /
    

    I went back once, all seems fairly clear, I can empathise.
    
    As the Father of two girls I can confirm that the female of the
    species is no less active, or capable, than the male, but I find
    myself constantly having to undo the effects of environment, for
    example, my girls will come home from school talking about Soccer
    being a 'boys game'. It's not easy to convince them that there's
    nothing they can't do, especially when their primary interests are
    fashion, dolls, music, and make-up!
    
    Ken