Conference turris::womannotes-v2

    
    Is there anything really wrong with the terms boyfriend/girlfriend?
    
    I know that alot of people don't like these terms, and am curious
    as to why they are so "put off" by them.
    
    I, too, find SO awkward....
    
    Debby

    Well, I talk about "Rick."  [mostly anyway]
    
    He's my husband now, but he wasn't before.
    
    If people can't grasp the nature of the relationship from context
    or frequency of mention, they are probably not too swift!
    
    I always found my husband, my boyfriend, my life partner, my SO,
    my lover, etc. mildly distasteful.  All that 'my'
    
    If someone asks 'who's Rick?', I generally answer 'the man I married'
    [although 'my husband' is beginning to creep in for ease of use];
    prior to making everything all tidy and formal I generally responded
    'the man I live with' [although 'the plumber' was one of my favourite
    toss off answers]
    
      Ann
   
    

'My lover' for shock value (some people shock pretty easy).

'My squeeze' for a laugh.

'My honey' for the real thing.

'Boyfriend' reminds me of the relationships I had in high school, which I
certainly hope I'm not repeating.
	Mez

    When I am with my SO, I refer to him as "my honey" or "my baby"
    or "my sweetheart" and he loves it.  However, when talking about
    him to other people, I say his name or sometimes "my boyfriend".
    Fortunately both of us are secure enough to know that when we are
    together, these names are used affectionately and do not have any
    negative connotation.
    

    soulmate?
    other half?  (*not* better half, though)
    
    and, on the lighter side,
    biological bedwarmer?
    sweetness 'n light?
    cupcake?
    stud muffin?
    

Stud muffin??		:-)

I've always been partial to "girlfriend" and "boyfriend", even if those
involved are no longer girls or boys.  Somehow, the terms seem much more
gentle and less contrived than "mate", "lover", or "significant other".
Besides, I always disliked the idea of being an "other"!

					--Q (Dick Wagman)

    Re .6  ("Stud-muffin")  
    
    Do you live in the Mass/NH area & listen to WCGY?
    
    
    I have always found "Boyfriend/Girlfriend" reminded me too much
    of	jr. high & high school, and have always felt uncomfortable with
    it in a serious relationship.  Before we were married, we generally
    used partner, which fit best, but tended to confuse people, and
    now we simply use spouse, unless we are being defensive.  Then we
    use husband/wife.
    
    I also call him my luv, or hub (which he responds with "as in hubcap?")
    and he sometimes calls me hun (which I respond with "as in Attila?")
    
    :-)
    
    K.C.

       re .2:
       
       "The man I married" is not necessarily equivalent to "my husband".
       The latter implies a certain currency, whereas the former may not. 
       
       --Mr Topaz 

    
    I always call him my boyfriend.  Perhaps calling him a "boy" when
    he's 30 years old has slight negative connotations, but I've never
    really thought about it before.  He is, however, my best friend,
    and I'm proud of that fact!
    
    Val

    re.9
    
    Mr Topaz,
    
    Implications of current 'formalised' ties notwithstanding, the context
    and frequency with which the gentleman's name crops up in my
    conversation would tend to imply a relationship of more than passing
    intimacy at present.
    
    I prefer to use his given name, not from any desire for mystery,
    but because labels -- especially possesive ones -- can become
    de-humanising.
    
    As you once said to me, 'The only things that fit in pidgeonholes
    are pidgeons.'
    
      Ann   
   

    Before we were married, I referred to Neil as "Neil" and if
    someone who had any business knowing inquired further, I'd tell
    them we were living together. 
    
    I still generally refer to him as "Neil," though I refer to him as
    my husband or my hubby on occasion, mostly in notes when the
    existence of the legal relationship is important to the point I'm
    making. 
    
    --bonnie

    I refer to the guy I'm living with as "my boyfriend".  I feel that,
    although it may have negative connotations and remind others of
    high school days, that "boyfriend" is still the word that best
    describes the relationship we are having.  To say "spouse equivalent"
    or "life partner" or even "SO" would indicate a much deeper commitment
    than what we have made to each other.  "Boyfriend", on the other
    hand, allows people to be aware that this person *is* more than
    "just a friend", that we are on a dating sort of basis, probably
    kiss and have sex, and, in this case, live together.  I can't think
    of another word that really has just that meaning without indicating
    a deeper level of commitments.  
    
    Lorna
    

    I think the governments official term is POSSLQ...pronounced
    something like 'possle queue'....standing for Person of the
    Opposite Sex Sharing Living Quarters.

re .16

    The government is making (at least) two assumptions that
    often don't apply to people who are in a not-quite-the-same-
    as-marriage situation:

	1.  That there are two, and only two, of them
	2.  That those two persons are of opposite sexes

    No offense intended to your reply--I've used POSSLQ in the
    past, although it had to be explained surprisingly often.

    -- Linda

    And strictly speaking, the male roommates I've had, who were nothing
    more than roommates, were "persons of opposite sex sharing living
    quarters" with me.
    
    -Tracy
    
         

    
    
    To take this one step further, while discussing an upcoming
    scouts meeting, and inviting parental-figures to accompany the
    boys, my husband (SO, POSSLQ) coined the phrase "Significant
    Adult" ...after all, not all adults sharing parental duties 
    are legal parents, stepparents, etc...
    
    Deb
    
    

    Before we married, I referred to Dave as either my mate or by his
    first name.....living together has become so commonplace that there
    was little confusion about the nature of the our relationship...
    
    Liz

    re: .11
    
    Possible negative connotations. . .but I'll bet with each passing
    day (read: year), they begin to feel more positive. . .
    
    Steve (mumble, mumble yrs. old. . .just one of the boys. . .)
    

    I call Janice "my sweetie". I'm an incurable Snoopy fan.
    
    There was a long, fun, discussion of this very subject in the old
    =WN= if anyone wants to find more notes on the subject. I believe
    there were two topics "Pet Names" and "What to call your SO" (the
    last one is paraphrased, I don't remember the real title.)
    
    	-- Charles

    Kevin is the "LOVE OF MY LIFE AT THE MOMENT", which leaves some
    people with their jaws hanging.

    I call my SO "missing".
    
    - Greg
    (the celibate)

    And, out of the archives (womannotes-v1), there come the following:
    
    129 - Another word for SO
    679 - Pet names for your sweeties
    827 - SO - what does it mean?
    
    -Jody
    

    How about just "S. O." ?  It is shorter than and means the same
    as "significant other".
    
    I mean, initials are the thing around here, anyway.  ;-)
    
    K.C.