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| Title: | ARCHIVE-- Topics of Interest to Women, Volume 2 --ARCHIVE |
| Notice: | V2 is closed. TURRIS::WOMANNOTES-V5 is open. |
| Moderator: | REGENT::BROOMHEAD |
|
| Created: | Thu Jan 30 1986 |
| Last Modified: | Fri Jun 30 1995 |
| Last Successful Update: | Fri Jun 06 1997 |
| Number of topics: | 1105 |
| Total number of notes: | 36379 |
66.0. "S.O.S. [ SO Sisterhood]" by FHQ::OGILVIE (The EYES have it!) Thu Jul 21 1988 16:22
S(ignificant O(ther) S(isterhood):
I've been thinking about starting this note for a while now. After
talking to a number of ladies who seem to be experiencing similar
situations ie, their SO's seem to be migrating, especially, to the
West Coast or other areas of the country, why not begin a discussion
on how we are handling it, what is expected of us, and what brought
on the circumstance originally. I can name 4 including myself who
have/had/are going thru withdrawal, regrouping, etc.
In my case, we've been dating for a year now. Both coming out of
divorces about the same time, yet finding each other before we had
experienced our mourning periods. He was on contract at DEC and
we met thru the Singles File. He has nothing to keep him in NE
and has had a yearning for years to go to CA. I've gone thru cycles
of pre-mature mourning of separation, combined with cycles of hope
and faith that it all will work out for the best. He hopes to find
a well-paying job in his field, work on his degree, buy a home and
then IF we're still in communication and we both STILL feel as we
feel today, the possibility exists that we too could marry (each
other). This certainly is a fair and reasonable request under the
circumstances. This will give us our *time* of separation, searching
our *selves*. I, unfortunately, do not handle all of this very
well, all of the time. I don't feel as I am on rebound, but do
feel I've finally met someone that I've been searching for for years.
Total compatibility (SP?) in every respect............
The bottom line:
If you are experiencing a similar "event" in your life, please share
how you are dealing with it, if you even understand it and if there
have been any success stories, as well.
It just seems that there is a lot of this happening and maybe we
could talk about it.
For me, on my good days, I handle it all by saying to myself, "what
will be will be - and the future will work itself out". On my bad
days, "I'm afraid I may never see him again".....give me a promise...
So, Sisters - write about your SO's. Committed or non-committed.
That is the question!
Cheryl
| T.R | Title | User | Personal
Name | Date | Lines |
|---|
| 66.1 | My experience so far... | MYVAX::LSCHWARTZ | | Fri Jul 22 1988 14:08 | 25 |
| I almost never write in this notesfile (mostly do to lack of time)
but this is a subject that's near and dear to my heart so I found
the time.
My SO moved out to California in April. He works for DEC
and his entire group was transfered out there. I don't want to
get into specifics but he felt it was best for his career to follow his
group out there. I had other opinions but I understood (and still
understand) his reasoning. I thought the move would be the worst
thing in the world for our relationship and for me. Thankfully,
so far I've been wrong.
I think we've managed to turn this into a growing experience. We
appreciate our time together more and we don't take eachother for granted
as much. We've been fortunate that we get to see eachother every
third or fourth week because he makes frequent business trips to
New England. When we're not together I have plenty of fun things
to do to keep me busy.
This hasn't been the easiest thing to go through. Many people find
it necessary to tell you how long distance relationships don't work.
I hope we can prove them wrong.
I could go on and on about this but I won't. Anybody else out there
have anything to add??
|
| 66.2 | Worth every moment ! | BARTLE::GRYNIEWICZ | | Fri Jul 29 1988 11:46 | 36 |
| Hello,
My boyfriend/SO/Whatnot ? Is in California right now, he is stationed
there for another 2 1/2 years with his Marine outfit. It is a real
funny situation when we think about it. Back when I was in high
school and he was in college we were seeing each other for about
a year when he decided he was going to go in the Army. We decided
actually I decided it was best if we not continue our relationship
partly because of the miles and our ages.
He ended up getting married at one point in his army career, he
is now working on his divorce. When he was released from the Army
he came home to our hometown and tried desperately to reach me but
our mothers kept us apart. He was finally able to see me about
6 weeks later but during that time he has enlisted in the Marines.
So it ended up with us finding out how much we really cared for
each other and we began our relationship all over again. Only to
be saddened by the fact that he just signed four years of his life
to the Marines. As of now we are still going strong, it has its
ups and downs and there have been a few close calls. I too know
just how precious that time we spend together is. Although we have
our fights now and then it works.......I try to go to California
at least once a year (have been twice so far) and then we wait for
his leaves when he can come home. the next one is Christmas time,
we will finally get to spend it together.
I just keep thinking of everything we have to look forward to.
The letters are wonderful as are the spontaneous phone calls. I
still get my fits of "oh No this is never going to work" but i
just think of all we been through and those toughts leave my mind.
Hope it is working for others, hang in there, the reward is priceless
Tammy
|
| 66.3 | ee cummings says it for long distance lovers | NOETIC::KOLBE | The diletante debutante | Mon Aug 01 1988 19:45 | 26 |
|
your little voice
Over the wires came leaping
and i felt suddenly
dizzy
With the jostling and shouting of merry flowers
wee skipping high-heeled flames
courtesied before my eyes
or twinkling over to my side
Looked up
with impertinently exquisite faces
floating hands were laid upon me
I was whirled and tossed into delicious dancing
up
Up
with the pale important
stars and the Humorous
moon
dear girl
How i was crazy how i cried when i heard
over time
and tide and death
leaping
Sweetly
your voice
|
| 66.4 | {lovely poem, but} | 57389::OGILVIE | The EYES have it! | Wed Aug 03 1988 17:06 | 4 |
| re: .03
Does this mean you've been thru this?
|
| 66.5 | yes, I've been there too | NOETIC::KOLBE | The diletante debutante | Wed Aug 03 1988 20:12 | 26 |
| < Note 66.4 by 57389::OGILVIE "The EYES have it!" >
-< {lovely poem, but} >-
< re: .03
<
< Does this mean you've been thru this?
Yes, I have, but that's not why I put the poem in here. I just felt it fit.
BUT, if you're asking how I handled the separation...
When my (ex)husband and I got married we had just joined Air Force. We had been
living together for 3 years prior to that and got married mostly to keep the
Air Force happy and so we could be stationed together. So what's the FIRST
thing the AF did? They sent him to Omaha and me to San Antonio! Both bases said
no problem the spouse can move down here. BUT, neither base would let one of
us go. I was finally released on a failure to join spouse after 7 months of
phone calls and letters (with a few weekends in NewOleans) as our only contact.
Yeah, I know it's sexist that they let me go and not him but that's the way the
military works. We both disliked the service, though there were some good things
too. There were times as I sat alone in San Antonio that I thought this would
never end. The really positive side of this whole experience was that I came
through basic training as an honor graduate. Before that I would never have
thought that I could do the obstacle course or learn to handle the system in
order to survive. But I did. liesl
|