Conference turris::womannotes-v1

    Hi Karen!  From my days of teaching Prepared Childbirth Classes,
    I recall that most women experience some symptoms of postpartum
    depression, usually just occasional moments of feeling overwhelmed
    and unable to cope, often resulting in tears.  As the article says,
    it's a matter of degree, which is why it's important to maintain
    contact with your obstetrician/midwife for the first couple of months.
    
    Severe symptoms will require professional help, but the large majority
    of women will NOT have symptoms that severe.  It's important to
    remember that it's normal for a woman who has just delivered a baby
    to have a temporary hormonal imbalance, be overtired from lack of
    sleep and no reliable schedule, feel especially inadequate if it's
    a first baby (what am I doing?!?), and feel like she can't keep
    up with life in general.  Tears are a great catharsis and provide
    a natural release.  (After my third baby, I pretty much had it
    figured out, and when my husband once found me in tears ("and now
    the stupid dog has fleas!" sniff, sniff), we were both able to laugh
    at it during a calmer moment.
    
    Remember it's a time to be good to yourself.  
    (a) If someone wants to come and see the baby, and you don't feel up
    to it, say "NO."
    (b) Get out of the house.  Infants love to ride in the car, or your
    husband can keep things under control for a couple of hours while
    you get out.
    (c) If the dust starts to build up (and it bothers you), hire someone
    to clean, get your husband/relatives/older kids? to clean.  If it
    doesn't bother you, let it build up!
    (d) Tell yourself you're not in this alone.  Your husband is 50%
    responsible for the new bundle of joy, and he can do everything
    you can do, except breastfeed.
    (e) Try to keep a sense of humor.  Not that easy, but it really
    helps.
    
    If none of the above helps, and symptoms get worse or don't go away,
    that's the time to call the doctor - that's what you're paying him/her
    for.
    
    /Michele    
    Get out of the house, even if
  

    I suffered from fairly severe post-partum depression after both of
    my kids, and the main thing keeping me from having another is
    dread of one to three years of emotional turmoil afterward.
    
    The most important thing I discovered about bad ppd is that none
    of the sensible things in .1 do any good.  You reach a point where
    whatever you try to do or whatever someone tries to do to help you
    is the wrong thing to do.  If someone you know is not responding
    to getting more sleep and having less rest, get them to a
    competent, sympathetic doctor fast. 
    
    The most interesting thing about it is that I got so detached from
    myself that now, looking back on it, I don't even remember quite
    how I felt or what I thought.  It's kind of a haze, as if there's
    a veil drawn over portions of my experience. 
    
    --bonnie

    I also suffered from PPD with all three of my girls... luckily with
    the third one I had *finally* learned to recongize it, so was able
    to better cope with it...
    
    The first PPD bout hit me REALLY bad, I think mainly becuase I was
    so young (18), and alone, (well, I did have a husband - but alone
    discribes it well), and not knowing WHAT was hitting my body
    emotionally....
    
    By the time Rachel came along (4 years later), I was much more mature,
    (still alone though), but able to recognize it, and give myself
    some time alone, and pamper myself...
    
    I think the key is knowing becuase of hormonal imbalance you WILL
    experience PPD, albeit at different levels, recognize it, and make
    sure YOU control it, not let it control you...
    
    Gale

This subject is very near, but not so dear to my heart, so please bear
with me because I feel a need to talk.

I have a nine month old son, born late last August after I spent 12 
long weeks in bed.  I was just weaned of anti-depressant medication 
two weeks ago.

The story starts one year ago yesterday, June 1, 1987.  I went into 
labor, four months early.  It was frightening at times and without the
help and support of friends, family and the Parenting notes file (see
note 125. Pre-term labor), I would have gone crazy.  I think I handled
the long hours in bed well.  What I wasn't prepared for was the nine
months following the birth.

At first (after the birth) I was just exhausted.  I hadn't been on my 
feet for three months, so that was to be expected.   I discovered that
even though I was so exhausted I still couldn't get myself to sleep.  
My sleep pattern was all goofed up from having to take pre-term medication 
every three hours 'round the clock.  And of course having a newborn around
didn't make matters any easier.

When Michael (my son) was six weeks I just fell apart.  I wept 
uncontrollably.  I felt guilty because I couldn't seem to bond. I began
to feel paranoid about every little thing.  I suffered from anxiety
attacks, etc.,etc.  It didn't help that at approximately the same time 
I had a doctor tell me I had a rare central nervous system disorder.
I felt so mortal.  So, so depressed.  

I've been sad at times in my life but this was beyond sad, this was 
complete dispair.  Everyone around me felt totally helpless.  I didn't
think I would live to see Christmas...boy, just talking about this sends
the tears cascading down my face.

My Obstetrician recommended I see a Pychotherapist and a Pychiatrist.
I ran from therapist to therapist trying to find one I felt comfortable
talking to, it seemed nobody could possibly understand what I was feeling.
I finally settled on a Pychologist that specialized in crisis intervention,
relaxation and bio-feedback.  The Pychiatrist I saw anaylized my situation
and immediately put me on anti-depressents.  Because of the medication, I
I had to stop nursing which, of course, added to my guilt and dispair.

Everything overwhelmed me to the point that I didn't want to live anymore.
I just wanted the pain to be over.  Three long months in bed worrying
and wondering if my baby was going to be alright and then depression sets
in.  It just didn't seem fair.  People (those who stuck around when I was
really down) told me that everything would be OK, with a little time. I 
didn't/couldn't/wouldn't beleive them.  I felt so all alone. No one could
possibly understand how I felt.  I truly thought I was dying.

Post-Partum Depression is very real, terrible frightening and I hope, 
the worst I'll ever feel in my life.  It was bad enough the I had all kinds 
of internal turmoil going on, but then other things would set me off, add 
to the depression.  Just the mere fact that I *had* to take anti-depressants 
and I *had* to see doctors reserved for crazy people and I *had* so much 
responsibility with a husband and now, two small children, made me crazy.  
I never thought I would ever return back to work.

Last November I had a long frank talk with my manager and he felt the best 
thing for me would be to return back to work part-time, which I did in 
December.  I continued to see my doctors twice a week, listened to relaxation 
tapes, utilized bio-feedback, cried and talked alot.  Took my medication 
religiously.  I experimented with alcohol and Valium and Xanax.  I was 
desperate and I knew it.  Then it dawned on me that what I needed was a good
nights sleep.  It wasn't until just recently that my sleepclock would allow
me the luxury of sleeping more than five hours in a row.  Sleep has made a
tremendous difference in my life.  Once I got a few good nights sleep under
my belt, I started to wean myself off the anti-depressants.  I was so scared
the depression would come back, but so far so good.

I'm no longer seeing the therapists, I'm back at work full time and feeling,
well...pretty good.  Not 100%, but getting there, I hope.

Thanks for letting me talk.  It's good for me and it's a lot cheaper 
than Dr. Engstrom charges! :^)

Jodi-
    

        <<< HYDRA::DISK$NOTES$LIBRARY:[NOTES$LIBRARY]HOLISTIC                          -< Holistic Forum >-
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Note 259.3                       Phenylalanine?                           3 of 3
AQUA::WALKER                                         26 lines   2-JUN-1988 08:42
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    I found the answer to my question and I would like to share it here.
    
    In the June 88 issue of Organic Gardening, page 52 in an article
    titled Diet Fantasy.
    
    "Despite its rigorous safety testing, many physicians and scientists
    remain fearful of aspartame's potential effects.  Composed solely
    of two amino acids, aspartame actually changes the chemical composition
    of the brain.  'It alters the brain's level of some amino acids
    and thereby affects the production and release of some of the
    neurotransmitters that the brain uses to carry signals from one
    nerve cell to another,' reports Richard J. Wurtman, M.D., professor
    of neuroendocrine regulation at the Massachusetts Institute of
    Technology.
    
    In the British medical journal Lancet, Wurtman has reported three
    cases of seizure that he feels were associated with NutraSweet.
    Other physicians' case reports to medical journals relate NutraSweet
    consumption to seizure and mania in one person and panic attacks
    in another - both after high levels were consumed.
    
    In July 1983 the FDA raised the maximum safety level of the amount
    of aspartame that people could safely consume from 34 milligrams
    per kilogram of body weight to 50 milligrams per day."
                   
    

    Oh, Jodi, thank you so much for sharing.  Now it sounds like a success
    story, but what a struggle you've had.

    re .5:
    
    since it took me a little while to remember what aspartame is, I
    thought others might also need to be reminded.
    
    Aspartame is known commercially as Nutrasweet as a food additive,
    and as Equal in table form.
                                                   
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