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Conference turris::womannotes-v1

Title:ARCHIVE-- Topics of Interest to Women, Volume 1 --ARCHIVE
Notice:V1 is closed. TURRIS::WOMANNOTES-V5 is open.
Moderator:REGENT::BROOMHEAD
Created:Thu Jan 30 1986
Last Modified:Fri Jun 30 1995
Last Successful Update:Fri Jun 06 1997
Number of topics:873
Total number of notes:22329

814.0. "Getting a second chance." by LAIDBK::RESKE (Life's a mystery & I haven't a clue) Tue Apr 19 1988 18:53

    I want to propose the following situation and then ask, what would
    you do if you were faced with it.  It's a given that this is
    completely made up and you can't change any of the facts of the
    story.
    
    The situation:
    
    You have worked very hard to start a business.  You have given 
    everything to this business and it is now very successful and
    you have everything you wanted out of it.  Of course you 
    made a lot of sacrifices and compromises to get to this point
    but it is what you've always wanted.
    
    Then, a tragedy comes along and the business is taken away from
    you.  You don't have any control over the situation so you
    put it in the past and go on with your life.  There really isn't
    anything else to do.
    
    Today you get a phone call and you have an opportunity to get
    your business back.  Everything will be the same as it was before.
    Do you take advantage of the opportunity and take the business back
    or do you leave the past in the past?
    
    
    Donna
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814.1JENEVR::CHELSEAMostly harmless.Tue Apr 19 1988 19:048
    Re: .0
    
    Depends on how well the past compares to the present and what the
    prospects are for the future in each case.  One factor I can identify
    is "If I were to work the business again, would I be able to give
    it the same kind of commitment and effort that I did before?  Would
    I be able to give more to it than what I'm giving to whatever I
    currently do?"
814.2Risk/benefit analysisSTAR::BECKPaul Beck | DECnet-VAXTue Apr 19 1988 19:2918
    It could also depend on the nature of the "tragedy" that took the
    business away in the first place. Did it result for purely local
    circumstances at the time, or are the same factors which led to the
    original "tragedy" still present? 
    
    You could also look at it as an entirely new business opportunity.
    If you had never been associated with this business before, but have
    the benefit of more information about the business than you normally
    would about a potential new venture, would that information lead you
    to invest? Or does it not fit your current entreprenurial profile? 
    
    The phrase "leave the past in the past" is too pat a philosophy -
    look at a business opportunity according to its own merits, without
    regard to past association, except insofar as the past provides
    insight into present and future opportunity (and risk!). 
    
    (And why do I get this impression that we're not really talking
    about a business venture?)
814.3Read Life's UnfoldingsELESYS::JASNIEWSKITurning down to ZeroWed Apr 20 1988 09:2921
    
    	You may think in terms of what you learned, personally, as a
    result of the initial loss. What have you learned in the time since?
    If you need a reason for the initial loss, well, consider that
    it's *necessity* might have been "planned" just for you; so you
    could learn, have the opportunity to learn, whatever your personal
    -er- "lesson" was!
    
    	So, take what you know now and apply it to the context of this
    situation. Is it best for you to continue things as they were, or
    do you know of "something else" which you now find a more attractive
    venture? Perhaps the best choice is to do nothing - in a business
    context - maybe something completely different, like the Arts, is
    in order for you now.
    
    	That the loss was so "completely out of your control", I'd think
    there has to be a message for you in that action. Somehow, I think
    you think so too.
    
    	Joe Jas
    
814.4history repeating?VIA::RANDALLback in the notes life againWed Apr 20 1988 10:017
    For me, a major factor would be how likely it was that my
    investment would be "taken away" arbitrarily again. 
    
    Assuming that all the risk/benefit stuff, prospects for success,
    etc. were still as good as they were before. 
    
    --bonnie
814.5A bit more infoLAIDBK::RESKELife's a mystery & I haven't a clueWed Apr 20 1988 11:3624
    re: .2
    
        What makes you think we're not talking about a business? ;-)
        
    
    To clarify some facts:
    
    The same circumstances which took the business away will not come up
    again and you know this to be true. Of course the same risks that 
    exist in any business will still be there if you take the business
    back.  No guarantees that the business will be successful.  You know 
    what they say, you get out what you put in.
    
    During the time you have been without the business you have not
    started any new ventures.  Why would you take a chance on losing
    a business for a second time?

    
    Donna
    
    
    Hmmm, you think this type of thing could happen in say ... a
    relationship?  :-)
    
814.6watch out for the snakes......ISTG::GARDNERWed Apr 20 1988 13:3725
I wish I could remember the exact quote that fits this, but will come up
with a close approximation of what it is supposed to be:

	"Into the same river, one does not step....." 

Anyone out there come up with THE quote based on the above?????

The gist of it is that, in life, one cannot ever repeat exactly what has
happened before......you might choose to step into the same river again,
but it is not the same although one might feel it is the same place....it
is changed, even if only a few minutes go by....

It is good, sometimes, to prepare oneself for re-entering a situation and
find out whether the attractions are the same.....I would hazzard a guess
that they will not be if you, yourself, have changed.  The perspective 
you now have will be more mature if you have evolved in your personal
growth pattern so that the outcome will be different.  In a short period
of time, you might find yourself not even interested.  The rewards for
checking into and finding this out are worth the effort.  Think of freeing
the "what ifs and might have beens" and letting them fly away......BUT only
with proper preparation before hand.....it's almost like saying to oneself,
"I DON'T NEED THIS ANYMORE" in order to look at the past objectively......


justme....jacqui
814.7YOU CAN'T GO BACKDPDMAI::HAMRICKWed Apr 20 1988 15:2033
    The "BUSINESS" you worked so hard for and sacrificed so much for,
    had to fill a need a need in your life at that time.
    
    Questions:  1) Does the same need still exist, or has something
    		else taken it's place?
    
    		2) Can you be sure the "tragedy" will not happen again?
    
    		3) Will you be able to handle the situation if the same
    		thing happens again, at least as well as you did the
   		first time?
    
    		3) Can you devote the same time and selflessness to
   		this venture that you did before? If so, do you expect
    		the same outcome from it?
    
    
    Realization: You CAN NOT go back to "The way it was" because not
    only the situation changed but you changed if for no other reason
    than you handled it the first time.
    But you can't base your decision on the fact that this is "IN THE
    PAST". Rebuilding what you lost *MAY* be the best thing for you
    at this point in your life, but could also be the worst thing for
    you.
    
    Keyword--->YOU. It's ultimately *YOUR* choice and *YOUR* life.
    
    Just ramblings on my part but things *I* would consider before making
    any decision of this magnitude.
    
    Harvey_just_plodding_along_as_best_we_can
    
    
814.8None of my "business" but...EDUHCI::WARRENFri Apr 22 1988 14:096
    I think I'd be inclined to take a _new_ risk and start a _new_
    business.  But as .7 said, in the end, you have to make a decision
    _you_ are comfortable with.
    
    T.
    
814.9HANDY::MALLETTSituation hopeless but not seriousFri Apr 29 1988 17:3121
    In the base note, you mentioned ". . .it is what you've always
    wanted."  Given that, I guess I'd opt for having another go at
    it.  In a sense, I'm currently involved in doing just that; my
    "real" profession is music and my "ideal" band broke up a few 
    years ago for reasons beyond my control.  Although I don't have 
    the option of re-forming with the same people (sigh!), I am trying 
    to re-form a band of the same size, same musical/personal directions, 
    etc.
    
    If, for the sake of argument, this was a relationship instead of
    a business, I think I sit on the "you-can't-go-home-again" side
    of the fence.
    
    Steve
    
    P.S.  And if anyone knows of a monstrously good bass player, 
    multi-keyboard player, or lead vocalist who's looking for
    a band. . .