| Great topic. I know many women who are finding it difficult to
conceive...this problem affects the extended family as well. By
extended I'm referring to the in-laws, cousins, aunts, uncles, those
relatives who are not of the immediate family.
Also, perhaps this support group could begin looking into the causes
for the increases in miscarriages. "All" of the women in my immediate
family have had at least one miscarriage, and we were all raised
in a "healthy, organic farming" environment.
Also, all of the women in my family are finding it increasingly
difficult to bear children....
This is a very good opportunity for us to look at the role of science
and technology and it's impact on birthing....
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My wife and I experienced two miscarriages before successfully having
our two girls, our third is on the way and is passed the main danger
period. The first was quite rough - we had been putting off having
children until we thought we were financially and emotionally stable
enough as a couple, and then tried time the kid into the 12 month
"warning" that we had that we were moving to the USA. Joy's Natural
Family Planning training meant she had little trouble in getting
pregnant (like the 2nd month we were trying) but then about two
or three months later - miscarriage, including hospitalisation for
the d&c. I was surprised by find myself over the next few days
looking at the wall and wondering what the kid would have been like.
We found out then that a lot of couples go thru the same experience,
about 1 out of every 5 conceptions result in a miscarriage, although
half of those are so early that the woman perceives a "late period"
rather than recognising it as miscarriage. This means that about
1 out of every 10 conceptions is a recognised miscarriage! A LOT
higher than you might expect - but people simply don't talk about
them unless you do... We even found out that both our mothers had
had miscarriages!
The second one didn't do much to our minds except make us slightly
annoyed and also prompt Joy to have some hormone level tests. The
Doctor (Rebecca Green - she was working for Matthew Thorton then)
suggested a drug (clomide i think, but I'm not sure) and Joy was
on that when Angela was conceived. For Michelle, though, she was
not on anything and that one went smoothly also. Same with this
third.
General "advice" now - miscarriages are best viewed as "likely",
but after two in a row it might be worth having a few tests...
Two in a row doesn't mean you won't have healthy normal kids -
both Angela and Michelle are well spoken, energetic, good looking,
etc. (but then, I'm their daddy so who am I to judge?).
Joy worked in a fertility clinic (as a nurse) for a while after
completing her midwifery. She also trained as a Natural Family
Planning instructor and we found out a lot more about the female
reproductive cycle through the later than the former! Any couple
which are having difficulties getting pregnant should consider going
along to qn NFP instructor and having a chat.
For instance - NFP centres around recognising, by the woman being
aware of her own body, when she is fertile. There is a whole range
of different signs/symptoms that different women find good indicators.
Once you know when you fertile - time for intercourse... A bad
approach though is to spend the entire 3 days seeing how many orgasms
the husband can have - better approach is for the husband to build
up a nice high dosage over the week before and aim for one good
shot at just the right time...
We know of several couples who conceived within a few months of
giving up trying - and it is not uncommon for "infertile" couples
to get pregnant shortly after adopting a child! One of the deliberate
strategies of the Fertility clinic was to only actively work with
the couple for a while, then tell them to "have some time off, we'll
try again in a year's time" and that decrease in the pressure was
sometimes enough...
Notice I said "couples" - it is sometimes a problem with the man,
sometimes with the woman, and sometimes an interaction between
them (he has low sperm count, she is borderline - but if either
of them had been closer to average pregnancy would have been
achieved without any noticeable difficulty).
Lastly, there was a trend in Australia, and maybe here also, to
think of couples as "child-free" rather than "child-less". All
clouds have silver linings - yours maybe that you needn't worry
about contraception! (and, of course, if something happens...).
It is a good topic - one Joy and I could talk about for hours...
/Bevin
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| I have been trying to get pregnant for two and a half years now, but
haven't had any success. Clomid was perscribed for a few months
but when my blood test indicated extrememly high FSH levels, my
doctor diagnosed premature menopause and told me there was no hope.
I was 31 years old when it was diagnosed (one year ago).
Menopause takes 3 to 5 years. Many woman become pregnant during
menopause, so I still have faith that I can conceive. I want to
optimize my chances. If anyone has any advise they are willing
to share, please respond to this note or send me mail.
-sharon
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