Conference turris::womannotes-v1

    Teach young women respect for all living things including themselves

    re .-1
    
    Here, here!  Hurray!
    
    (But anyway, Peggy, don't underestimate the effect of your life
    on your daughters.  Maybe it doesn't always go the way you think
    it would, but the other half will treasure the things you don't
    even remember doing for her.  We can't keep anyone from making
    mistakes, but we can give them an Idea.)

Self confidence, which also gives one the courage to 
love living things and fight the barbarians.

    RE .0   Share with her wonderful literature that shows both
          sexes in their splender - their best light. 
            Tell her that Women and Men are natural allies - not
          adversaries. She will hear enough horror stories in her
          life, so do accentuate the positive. Insure that a dynamically
          strong and life-affirming bond between the sexes is always
          to be strived for, and must be achieved by the application
          of wisdom and persistent smart work.
            Reveal to her that a strong foundation of values leads
          to all those things in life worth pursuing, not to mention
          a reasuring resource to draw strength from. Values such as
          self respect, honesty, and loyalty are living and lasting
          ones.
            One thing no one else can teach is the path that she
          must travel through in Life. As her Mother, never underestimate
          the influence that your example (& teachings) has had upon
          her, for I think such learning relationship is a most primary
          one.  And the most important.

    
    	Well...
    
    		Is she being uplifted, inspired or challenged to live
    up to her internal value, gain and maintain self respect by having
    more integrity, and realize her potential to be the best she can
    be?
    				-OR-
    
    		Is she being subtly told that she has little inner value,
    that she must prove her worth in a dog-eat-dog world, that integrity
    is for "nice girls" willing to finish last, and that she has potential
    only as a spectator who can wait for a "lotery ticket" to have the
    winning number?
    
    
    	Teach your children to do their best in everything. Then be
    sure to do your best...
    
    	Never say: "As soon as you get your work done, you can go out
    and play". Say: "There is a time for work and a time for play. WE
    give our best to both every day". Then dont neglect *your* chores
    bacause you want to watch Oprah on TV.
    
    	Teach that there are no shortcuts to success. Explain that the
    simple truth is winners work hard to be successful! Success always
    has a price - Integrity is what counts.
    
    	Limit the family's TV viewing to special shows. Never allow
    family members to use TV as an escape mechanism from confrontations
    or work projects! Dont use TV as a means to "occupy their time".
                                                       
    	Whatever you do, do only what can be observed by your children
    to their benefit. Never do any activity that you'd not like to see
    them do also, like "smoke". Then, when you say "This is for your
    own good", they're more likely to believe you!
    
    
    	"Recent studies" have revealed that what we listen to and what
    we watch have a marked effect on our imaginations, our learning
    patterns, and our behaviors. First, we are exposed to new behaviors
    and characters. Next, we learn to imitate those behaviors. In the
    last and most crucial step, we adopt those behaviors as our own.
    
    	Joe Jas
    	

Teach them auto mechanics and how to balance a checkbook.

/Mike

    she will appreciate knowing that you are not always perfect ,
    but you are willing to try anything  Monkey see, monkey do.
    
    - Lesley
    

    Teach her that self-respect is a far more worthy goal than seeking
    the approval of others.

    RE: .9	Yes, I'd endorse that too!
    

    don't stop at auto mechanics!  Let her try what she wishes (within
    limits, of course...). Let her taste all of life's challenges.
    Tree-climbing, programming, welding, money management, souffle-making,
    sewing, woodworking, playing ms. fix-it around the house, yardwork,
    art, music, lathing, chemistry, astronomy, minerology....anything she
    wishes.  Bring her the beauty of books.  Let her build castles in the
    air...and then put foundations under them (a la Thoreau?) 
    
    -Jody
    

    May I cheat and go for two thoughts?
    
       Love yourself and the other beings on this planet.  
    
       In an harmonious spirit, challenge assumptions; yours and your
       fellow beings'.
    
    Steve (non-parent who is nonetheless grateful for such an enjoyable,
    thought-provoking topic; thoughts of the road not chosen. . .thanks,
    Peggy)
    

    There's a song by Fred Small that sums it up for me...
    
    (Quotes without permission, and admittedly a paraphrase, anyway
    :-})
    
    <singing to a child>
    
    ...Here's a song no-one ever sang to me...
    
    You can be anybody you want to be,
    You can love whomever you will,
    You can visit any country where your heart leads,
    And know that I love you still...
    
    You can live by yourself,
    You can gather friends around,
    You can choose one special one,
    ...
    But the only thing that will matter,
    Is the love you leave behind when you're gone...
    
    
    I can't remember the exact words, but that's the gist of it...
    
    --DE
    

    Set her free,... respect her decisions, allow her to learn from
    her mistakes.

    re: .14 --
    
    You always say such wise things, Mary.
    
    --bonnie

    re .0   Show her the difference between an individual that focuses
            on what the culture teaches (or produces), and those indiv-
            iduals that focus upon other individuals. 
    
            Also for her to choose her friends for their character.
            Not for those 'other things' that they may possess. 
    
            For other things may come and go. But Character always lasts.
    
    
                                                           Russ