Conference turris::womannotes-v1

    Well Joanna,
    
    I guess that the note I started and very few people answered
    on Menopuase was a note on getting older...
    
    certainly that is a major physical symptom of age for women.
    which men do not share.
    
    I, am looking forward to being over 50....I had so many bright
    and intelligent and dynamic teachers in college who were in
    their 60's ...plus I have my grandmother who will be 101
    Christmas day (anyone who wants to send her a card may send
    me mail and thankyou) who just moved into a nursing home after
    a bad fall...she supported her self since her divorce in about 1936!
    and my mother at 74 and my mother in law at 75 who are still wonderful
    independant, bright, women...
    
    I am looking forward to being older...(I intend to scandalize my
    grand children by my independance and willingness to do things
    'innapropriate for my age'...let me buy a 'purple hat' (as the
    poem published earlier mentioned...) and love younger men...
    
    age is only a state of mind...
    
    smiles and hugs
    
    Bonnie

    My favorite subject as I am thoroughly enjoying this phase in my
    life.
    
    Planning - I think this is the most fun and has been a lot easier
    to put the plans in action then the plans I had as a young
    person.  I have participated in the SAVE plan since its inception,
    have a small IRA and of course DEC stock.  I have purchased a small
    lot of land in Maine and I will be building a very compact, easy
    to maintain home within the next five years.
    
    Coping - It is a challenge to cope with the affirmities of old age.
    I have arthritis and sciatica and I am fighting it with a
    determination I didn't know I had.  I complain and carry on but
    because I realize I must continue exercising I have joined the
    Appalachian Mountain Club and starting hiking and in the process
    have opened all sorts of avenues for friendships, travel and exercise.
    
    Enjoying - The hair is getting grey and I refuse to color it.  I
    am thoroughly enjoying the prestige of age.  I do fuss with the
    wrinkles and am trying to hold off that process by applying creams
    etc. to the old bod.
    
    But the part I like best is my position in my family.  My mother
    sees me in a new light and she wonders how I can be so efficient,
    wise, compassionate, and all that neat stuff.  Our family has grown
    without the pain of birth and the expense of child rearing and I
    have a position of authority that I never had as a young woman.
    I have my mother, my four children, one son-in-law, two grandchildren
    and two future daughter-in-laws.  They humor me and ask me questions
    and pretend to take my advice.  I love it!
    
    Browning said...."grow old with me for the best is yet to be"
        

    I READ THAT *OLD* IS ALWAYS 15 YEARS OLDER THAN YOU ARE.
    
    It is so true!!!  I am amazed at the women 20 years younger than
    I am philosophizing about growing old and how they are feeling.
    
    I read about an *elderly* person being mugged (in the newspaper)
    and was surprised to find out the reporter was referring to someone
    61 (and that is YOUNG!).
    

    How old before someone IS old?  I'm beginning to think around 70.
    
              Carol

    	I believe .6 raises an important question.  How old is old.
     While I hope my mind stays strong enough for me to think young
    for as long as I live I do recognize, in general, 35 to 45 is middle
    age after which old age begins.  Many of us appear to be afraid
    to accept aging (not necessarily anyone who responds to WOMANNOTES
    ;^) ).
    
    	There comes a time when the elders must give the youngers
    sufficient chance to make their place in the world and this often
    requires the elders to 'move out of the way.'  Moving out of the
    way does not mean giving up it might mean nothing more than assuming
    a more managerial role than one of doer.
    
    	I will retire in about eight years, if the plan holds together.
    I will not be retiring from life but from the role I presently assume
    to earn that retirement.  My retirement plans, though far from cast
    in concrete, will keep me busy playing a role more suited to me
    after the age of 55, when I will be old in years relative to the
    anticipated life span of someone born in the late '30s to early
    '40s.
    
    Douglas - who often feels much younger in thought and deed than
              his 27 year old daughter.

    Old is about 120.  No, make that 180.
    

    One of my co-workers gave me this.  I have changed some things to
    make it as non-sexist as possible
    
    
    		How to know you're growing old
              
    
    Everything hurts and what doesn't hurt doesn't work.
    
    The gleam in your eyes is from the sun hitting your bifocals
    
    You feel like the night before and you haven't been anywhere.
    
    Your little black book contains only names ending in M.D.
    
    You get winded playing chess.
    
    Your children begin to look middle aged.
    
    You finally reach the top of the ladder and find it leaning against
    the wrong wall.
    
    You join a health club and don't go.
    
    You begin to outlive enthusiasm.
    
    You decide to procrastinate but then never get around to it.
    
    You're still chasing members of the desired sex but don't remember
    why.
    
    Your mind makes contracts your body can't meet.
    
    Your dripping faucet causes an uncontrollable bladder urge.
    
    You know all the answers but nobody asks anything.
    
    You look forward to a dull evening.
    
    You walk with your head held high trying to get used to your bifocals.
    
    Your favorite part of the newspaper is 25 years ago today.
    
    You sit in a rocking chair and can't make it go.
    
    You turn out the light for economic rather than romantic reasons.
    
    Your knees buckle and your belt won't
    
    You regret all those mistakes resisting temptation.
    
    You're a 17 around the neck, 42 around the waist, and 96 around
    the golf course.
    
    You've stopped looking forward to your next birthday.
    
    After painting the town red, you have to take a long rest before
    applying the second coat.
    
    Dialing long distance wears you out.
    
    You're startled the first time you are addressed as "old timer."
    
    You remember today, that yesterday was your anniversary.
    
    You just can't stand people who are intolerant.
    
    The best part of your day is over when your alarm clock goes off.
    
    You burn the midnight oil after 9 p.m.
    
    A fortune teller offers to read your face.
    
    Your pacemaker makes the garage door go up when a sexually attractive
    person walks by.
    
    The little gray haired person you help across the street is your
    spouse.
    
    You get exercise acting as a pallbearer for your friend who exercise.
    
    You have too much room in the house and not enough in the medicine
    cabinet.
    
    You sink your teeth into a steak and they stay there.
    
                                    
    
    
    
    
    
    I got a good laugh over the fact that a number of these things have
    happened to me - and I'm under 30.
    
    Elizabeth

    For a light - but insightful - treatise on this subject, you
    might enjoy Bill Cosby's latest (second?) book. Since I'm suffering
    from the kind of forgetfulness he chronicles at the moment, I'm
    not certain of the title; something like "Time Flies".

    	When you are young you take from society. When you are old you take
    from society. In between you give.
    
    	You become old when you stop trying to give more than you take.
    
    	My uncle was old at 45.
    
    	My wife's grandmother is still young at 92.
    
    		Dave (feeling a bit old at the moment).

    Well I think my grandmother may be old...she will be 101 this
    Christmas... but the only reason that she has finally become
    old is that since the fall she has no longer been able to live
    in her own home even with help...God love her...
    
    there is a lovely verse in a song by the Weavers...
    
    "How do I know that my youth is all spent?
     My get up and go has got up and went.
     and dada da dada da dada da ( memory lapse while typeing and I
     am only 43!)
     when I think of the places my get up has been!"
    

    "but in spite of it all I am able to grin,"
                                  
    
    first time I heard Seeger sing that I broke up.
    
    

    A male friend of mine was talking to me this past fall about a new
    relationship he was starting. My friend is 27 years old; his love is 24.
    He was excited about how she is spontaneous and will suddenly want
    him to go running in the woods with her or go on some other adventure.
    He said this is something he likes about her being young! 
    
    A few days later, after a little thought, I told my friend that
    what he said about his new friend made me smile because he described
    something I would be just as likely to do at the ripe old age of
    34! I felt the kind of action/characteristic he described in his
    friend is more a measure of attitude or circumstances (i.e
    if I had a particular responsibility such as a child or a job I
    might have to "work" my spontaneity around the responsibility or
    combine activities). 

    I guess my idea of what old is doesn't have much to do with age. I feel
    as young as I ever did most of the time, which is very young in a
    responsible way. I must admit that I do lean toward being "responsible"
    in more ways than I use to, although I always had this streak. I guess
    being responsible doesn't have to correlate with being older! My
    alterego always wishes I could take a lesson from the current Greatful
    Dead song with the line "I may be going to h*ll in a bucket, but at
    least I'm enjoying the ride." I.e., although I have lot's of fun, I
    wonder sometimes what it would be like to have an honest-to-goodness
    wild streak or to show more of the "narrow" wild streak I do have!! 
    
    Elisabeth (who only feels old when her body feels worn out from
              commuting too long a distance or from worrying too much
              about whatever it is I choose to worry about on a 
              particular day) 

    This seems to be an appropriate place for this little poem, that
    for some reason, has been stuck in a corner of my head for years:
    
    I learn as the years roll onward,
    And I leave the past behind,
    That much I counted sorrow,
    But proves that God is kind;
    That many a flower that I'd longed for,
    Had hidden a thorn of pain,
    And many a rugged by-path,
    Led to fields of ripened grain......
    
    Mark