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Conference turris::womannotes-v1

Title:	ARCHIVE-- Topics of Interest to Women, Volume 1 --ARCHIVE
Notice:	V1 is closed. TURRIS::WOMANNOTES-V5 is open.
Moderator:	REGENT::BROOMHEAD

Created:	Thu Jan 30 1986
Last Modified:	Fri Jun 30 1995
Last Successful Update:	Fri Jun 06 1997
Number of topics:	873
Total number of notes:	22329

431.0. "The rewards.." by MARCIE::JLAMOTTE (Soon to be millionaire) Mon Aug 10 1987 13:48

    This note is a little boastful, but might be inspiring to some of
    the younger single mothers.
    
    It was tough raising my four.  I made a lot of mistakes.  But I
    guess somehow I did something right, because I have four new
    friends and they happen to be my sons and daughters.  I've known
    this for a few years but it sort of hit me this weekend.  My
    oldest daughter and roommate got an offer for a new job with a
    substantial increase and I thought again about her competence. 
    I also thought of some of her skills and some of those skills she
    learned from her mother and she recognizes it.  Mark Twain was 
    so right about how dumb his father was when he was sixteen but 
    when Mark came back from the service his father had learned a 
    lot.  But Judie and I are friends, we discussed the whole process
    from the decision to look for a new job to what she would wear on
    the interview.
    
    The mother of my grandchildren is my second daughter and how I enjoy
    her company.  She is so idealistic.  What memories it brings back.
    But she is accomplishing some of the things that I didn't.  It is
    great watching her...and it is even better that she appreciates
    my friendship and asks my opinion on child raising.  And the "gee,
    Mom your idea worked, Justin went to bed without a word last night."
    is so different from the defiance a person with the same name use
    to give me ten years ago.
    
    And the two boys, who couldn't get engaged without talking it over
    with their friend, Mother.  And the great son-in-law and the two
    prospective daughters-in-law.
    
    Adult children are great friends.  We don't scream or yell or not
    speak.  I don't worry (much anyway).
    
    And of course I could go on forever about the grandchildren.  But
    bottom line the message is it was worth it.  It wasn't easy there
    were problems and their may be more.  But I have four good friends
    and the transistion has happened...they are no longer my children
    they just happen to be my sons and daughters.

T.R	Title	User	Personal Name	Date	Lines
431.1	the future approaches..	YAZOO::B_REINKE	where the side walk ends	`Mon Aug 10 1987 15:50`	15
	Joyce, your note is inspiring to some of us not so young married mothers also! :-) I am enjoying the developing of more adult attitudes in my children. My 14 year old daughter has gone form being at odds with me over 90% of the time to being my friend more often than not. My oldest son called me up one night last week from his job (he works as an intake person at a homeless shelter two nights a week) to discuss what kind of person I thought he was. Further he wants me to get together with his girl friend and talk with her about some things he has been talking with her about that he thinks I understand better. I feel very honored and not just a bit flattered.
431.2	keep em coming	COLORS::MODICA		`Tue Aug 11 1987 15:26`	4
	I sure hope others respond here. As a new parent I need all of the encouragement I can get.
431.3	Try the PARENTING conference also.	WCSM::PURMAL	I'm a party vegetable, Party Hardly !	`Tue Aug 11 1987 16:55`	6
	re: .2 You might want to try the PARENTING conference. Hit KP7 to add it to your notebook. Its on node SABRE. ASP
431.4	ex	WATNEY::SPARROW	can you understand Mumbles?	`Wed Aug 12 1987 15:59`	8
	Don't go to another file, share your happiness and growth with your children here. as a single mom, not so young, I like being able read in one file without have to read all these other files. My daughter is 8, I love her, I accept her, she's mine, she's her's, my life would be empty without her. We are friends now, please God, let it always be so. vivian
431.5		VLNVAX::RWHEELER	F.I.D.O.	`Tue Aug 18 1987 13:51`	11
	From the other side, Me and my mom have really started becoming good friends, before I thought she was a major pain. 8-> Its great for her, my mom, to call me up and say Oh I was just thinking about you and wanted to say hi! Its great! /robin
431.6	There grrrrreat	38921::JEFFRIES	the best is better	`Wed Aug 19 1987 18:18`	20
	My kids are just great. My daughter never ever gave me any problems. We had normal adult (parent) child things like pick up your room, wash the dishes and such, but no dicipline problems. She has always discussed every thing with me, and I mean everything. She would call me from college and give me detailed reports of all the social activities going on. We have lots of "woman to woman" talks, she coined this phrase when she was about 9 or 10 to exclude her brother from our time together. My son was not so easy, he tried everything there was to try. He quit school at 16, experimented with drugs and alcohol, hitch hiked to Florida to look for his father,whom he haddn't seen for 8 years, came home and decided he would play man of the house. After using some painful tough love on my part and a sever emotional breakdown on his part, he has decided that I am a great mom and keeps asking why he did the things that he did. He still has a long way to go, but he is really a super, sensitive person and in spite of all the problems I wouldn't trade him in for a million dollars. There is not only light at the end of the tunnel, but music also.