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Conference turris::womannotes-v1

Title:ARCHIVE-- Topics of Interest to Women, Volume 1 --ARCHIVE
Notice:V1 is closed. TURRIS::WOMANNOTES-V5 is open.
Moderator:REGENT::BROOMHEAD
Created:Thu Jan 30 1986
Last Modified:Fri Jun 30 1995
Last Successful Update:Fri Jun 06 1997
Number of topics:873
Total number of notes:22329

402.0. "[Co-]Keeper of the Hearth" by ULTRA::ZURKO (UI:Where the rubber meets the road) Tue Jul 21 1987 12:56

Is there a phrase for a person would cares for home and family? That
isn't gender specific? That shows the worth of such an endeavor? That
doesn't exclude making some amount of money as well, either in or out
of the home?

It seems the concept of home maker, home engineer, house wife, has so
far to go. We now know we don't have to be one to survive, but we've
lost a way to talk about it as a worthy pursuit.

Hey, all you Hestia's, you must have ideas!
	Mez
T.RTitleUserPersonal
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402.1DUCK ! INCOMING !!ARMORY::CHARBONNDNoto, Ergo SumTue Jul 21 1987 13:121
    Look up the word 'husbandry'    ;-)/2
402.2re: .1ULTRA::ZURKOUI:Where the rubber meets the roadTue Jul 21 1987 13:235
    Well, since I'm looking for something that works at a gut level,
    not just to people willing to rush to their dictionary, I get the
    feeling husbandry ain't gonna make it! :-)
    
    Of course, it's got to work at the dictionary level too!
402.3Person.NSG008::MILLBRANDTThink PantasyTue Jul 21 1987 14:4018
    Person.
    
    Every time you create a new label, you create a new division.  E.g.:
    
    family woman - you mean the rest of us aren't family women?
    hearthperson - someone who's tied to the fireplace?  Cinderella!
    nurturer - you have to stay home to nurture?
    housewife - you married a house?
    homemaker - but homes get made without homemakers, too
    
    If you're looking for a word to use, it's so you can classify that
    whole group of people in a couple of syllables.  But the convenience
    of a label eventually captures the people inside it - a new stereotype
    is created, or an old one is reaffirmed.
    
    Skip the label.
    						- Dotsie
402.4Should we ignore that part of [all of] us?ULTRA::ZURKOUI:Where the rubber meets the roadWed Jul 22 1987 12:077
re: .3
    I think you're wrong. I have no way to talk about that skill set.
    We never talk about it. It's not valued. It doesn't exist. If labels
    make you itchy, I'll settle for a verb or avocation. I can talk
    about programming. I can talk about gardening. How do you talk about
    taking care of home, making it a good place, making it part of you?
    	Mez
402.56 of us brats, dad on swing shiftARMORY::CHARBONNDNoto, Ergo SumWed Jul 22 1987 12:291
    At my house we use "Mom" and everyone understands.
402.6Un-useful pedantic asideWEBSTR::RANDALLI'm no ladyWed Jul 22 1987 17:2325
    You can't use this one any more, either, but I thought I'd mention it
    anyway... 
    
        
    In the antique days of Old English, ca. 500 a.d., "huswif", which
    became "housewife", meant what you want. 
    
    "-wif" in Old English was a suffix that meant "one who cares for or
    works with [often sells]" something.  Thus "fishwife" for one who sells
    fish, "alewife" for the person who runs a tavern, "housewife" for the
    person who took care of the house. (House, by the way, had heavy
    connotations of maintaining the social unit and only incidentally
    referred to the building in which the family lived.)  
        
    Only as society changed so that the person who took care of the house
    was usually female and usually married to the man who owned the house
    (the physical entity) did the term "wife" come to mean a married woman
    and the term 'housewife' meant what it means to us today.
    
    Incidentally, promoters of the importance of maintaining the household
    have been trying to coin new words for household economy since at
    least the 1700's. That's how "home economics" came about.
    
    --bonnie
402.7How we treat then -- not what we call themHUMAN::BURROWSJim BurrowsThu Jul 23 1987 19:5918
        I don't think it'll help to find a new word. What I think we
        have to do is harder than that. We have to stop putting down and
        looking down at housewives and home makers. So far as I can
        tell, the modern snobism that home makers and housewives aren't
        really working is relatively new. I come from a long line of sea
        captains, and it is quite clear that the jobs of their wives who
        ran the household and the farm was vital and recognized.
        
        Earning a living outside ofthe home can be very important if you
        are to acquire the necessities and goods of life, but raising
        children, keeping the household economy, raising and preparing
        food and all of the other jobs within the house are also very
        important, at least as much so. Let's not worry about what we
        call them. Let's work on how we value them. Let's recognize what
        our ancestors knew--that not all things of value have a monetary
        price or are exchanged for money. 
        
        JimB.
402.8Homebody vs 'Hearthkeeper' ?BETA::EARLYNEVAH .. NEVer ..say NEVER again :^) ...Fri Jul 31 1987 13:5511
    One word I'm familiar with, which is (was) MORE applicable (in useage)
    applied to women, but is non_gender specific is "Homebody".
    
    Such and such a person is quite a homebody. If they are primarily
    there to care for the child(ren) then they're also called a "parent"
    or a "nurterer" to quote Doonesbury: " Co-nurterer ".
    
    I realize its just an offering, but to me cokeeper of the hearth
    sounds like a 'Cinderellan' term.
    
    .bob.