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Conference turris::womannotes-v1

Title:ARCHIVE-- Topics of Interest to Women, Volume 1 --ARCHIVE
Notice:V1 is closed. TURRIS::WOMANNOTES-V5 is open.
Moderator:REGENT::BROOMHEAD
Created:Thu Jan 30 1986
Last Modified:Fri Jun 30 1995
Last Successful Update:Fri Jun 06 1997
Number of topics:873
Total number of notes:22329

401.0. "COMMUNITY...What does it mean to you?" by TSG::MASON (The law of KARMA hasn't been repealed) Mon Jul 20 1987 18:56

I recently attended a lecture by Margo Adler, author of Drawing Down
the Moon, a book on neo-paganism and witches .  She is also a
newsperson for NPR.  I have heard her speak before, and as always, she
was intelligent, humorous, and very down-to-earth.  

She spoke about a number of spiritual issues, but there there was one
thing that she talked about that struck me as an appropriate topic for
discussion here. It is the concept of "community". 

Here's some background:
=======================
It used to be, according to Margo, that people defined community based 
on the following things: 1) a shared sense of geography (like a town or
village); 2) connected-ness through birth and family relationship (you
tended to live with your family, and an extended family); 3) length of 
connected-ness (ie- generations of people living together over a long 
period of time, perhaps even centuries); and 4) a shared culture
(ceremonies, rites, belief systems, etc). 

With the rise of cities and the industrial revolution things changed, 
and the definition of community became based primarily on sharing a 
geographical location (town, a neighborhood, a block, or even an 
apartment house). Things like shared culture and the presence of blood 
family may or may not have played a role in the new definition.  
Often, race or religion took the place of actual blood family in terms 
of shared culture and/or connected-ness to biological family.  Thus,
we get terms like the Black community, the Hispanic the community, 
Irish/Jewish/German (substitute your favorite ethnic group) community,
as well as the Women's community, the Gay community, etc... 

In the midst of the information revolution, Margo suggests that many
so-called "communities" don't meet the old criteria for the definition.
For example, in the "spiritual community" or the "pagan community",
people form what they call a  "community"  for a few months, a few 
years, and then drift apart again.  There is not a lot of support for 
those who want/need the contact with other members on a long-term basis, 
in the sense of the old definition of community. 

She further suggested that many groups that we now call "communities"
come together out of a sense of (and these are her words, not mine),
incredible need, alienation, and spiritual/emotional impoverishment. I
interpret this to mean that many of us have a longing for the more
traditional sense of community with some of the benefits it afforded 
(and perhaps a hope that we can avoid the pitfalls and the problems 
this presented).

What does this mean to =womennotes= ?
======================================
I've come across the term "community" with reference to the members
of this notesfile many times, and I wonder what this means, and
whether we're creating a new definition of the term, or a false sense
of what community is. 

So, what's your definition of community? How is it the same, how 
does it differ from the more traditional definition?

Is Digital as a whole a community in any sense of the word as you 
define it?

Is =womennotes= a community in any sense of the word?  If so, how? 
If not, why not? 

NOTE: I'm not looking for responses that say "The dictionary defines
community as..."  

Tell us what you FEEL, and what YOUR EXPERIENCES have been! 

              in sisterhood ****andrea**** 
T.RTitleUserPersonal
Name
DateLines
401.1Starting thoughtsSTUBBI::B_REINKEwhere the side walk endsMon Jul 20 1987 20:214
    Just a partial answer....there is at least some sense of community
    that grows out of this notes file....especially as we also get
    to meet and interact with each other in person.
    
401.2GCANYN::TATISTCHEFFTue Jul 21 1987 00:4912
    Well, the incredible need, alienation, etc part hits home here,
    I think, as well as in many of the communities you mentioned.  I
    don't see the problem with it tho: in a sense, my community is in
    my head, and whether or not it lasts (sad when/if it breaks up,
    but life goes on...) it always exists in my head.  The people I
    meet, in _my_ communities, undeniably become a part of me, and will
    not be forgotten, ever.  Nor will I forget the love, affection,
    and care I feel for this community at this time in my life.
    
    What more do you need??
    
    Lee
401.3community thrives on varietyWEBSTR::RANDALLI'm no ladyTue Jul 21 1987 02:0347
    This is probably going to ramble off into nowhere, but what the
    heck, it's late . . .
    
    It seems to me that a great deal of our society's problems with
    community stem from a widespread belief that one can have community
    only with someone who is pretty much the same as oneself.  We've
    lost the richness of variety.
    
    I have in recent days read that only another child of an alcoholic can
    truly understand what it means to be a child of an alcoholic, that only
    someone who has been through losing a child through a miscarriage can
    understand how it feels to lose a child that way, that only a woman who
    has grown up with a woman's experiences can understand how it feels to
    be a woman.  In a way, of course, all that is true.  
    
    But the assumption underlying much of this belief is that because you
    and I have not shared a particular experience, we have nothing to offer
    each other.  I may not be the adult child of an alcoholic, but that
    does not mean that I don't care for your pain, or that I can't use my
    sympathy and my intelligence to try to comprehend what it was like for
    you.  Because you were not pregnant and unmarried, wrestling with all
    the issues of caring for yourself and fighting for your education, your
    livelihood, your right to LIVE, not just exist, doesn't mean you don't
    know how you would have felt in that situation. 
    
    Above all, differences of age, of upbringing, of interests, of
    experiences don't mean we can't care for each other.
    
    But everywhere I turn, I see people bunching themselves off with
    only those who are like them, who they feel comfortable with, who
    don't challenge their comfortable ideas.  Married couples with children
    group with other family units, singles look for other singles and
    resent sharing the beach with the families, older people retire
    to communities where children aren't allowed.  It's no wonder our
    children are growing up with such limited vision -- they see so
    few adults.

    It's easy to think that the main virtue of the extended family was
    the blood ties, but I think it was in fact the wide variety of role
    models available.  If you didn't like your mother, you could be
    like your grandmother, or your aunt Mary, or even Cousin Sara who
    was a doctor and never married, but always lived with Cousin Louise
    who gave up her chance at marriage to keep house for Sara.  
    
    I don't know if this makes sense or not . . . 
    
    --bonnie
401.4some musingsNISYSE::LUPACCHINOTue Jul 21 1987 13:1215
    I'm glad you  raised the question, Andrea.  I had a reaction to
    the use of the word "community" in 378.0 & .1  because of my impression
    of Womannotes as a forum...not a community.  I must admit that I
    have had pretty intense familial and religious community experiences
    which does color my perception of community.  I am also aware that
    some folks have made wonderful connections via this notesfile. I
    am not minimizing that. I see the potential for coalition-building,
    mentoring and continued supportive networking  for instance.  I'm
    not sure how to define all of us coming together to do the above.
    I just don't see us as a "community" - a group of people who come
    together around some shared goals and values.
    
    Those are just some quick comments for now
    
    Ann Marie
401.5community....BUFFER::LEEDBERGTruth is Beauty, Beauty is TruthTue Jul 21 1987 14:2439
    
    
    re: .3
    
    It is the richness of variety that is sometimes lacking in groups
    that is needed most in groups to continue growth - expand the gene
    pool.  I try to keep an open mind and allow others to express ideas
    that I may not like just to keep the variety element there.
    
    A community needs to have individuals at all ends of the spectrum
    to keep from stagnation (I think this is why I still write and read
    WOMANNOTES).  A community also has to give the individual room to
    grow and change as is needed, determined by the individual.
    
    Membership in a community should not mean isolation from the rest
    of society.  I stay within the system to help guide it in the direction
    I would like it to go.
    
    Membership in a community is also responcibility for the good of
    the community, maybe at the risk of loss of individual rights.
    
    The whole concept of community is very complicated and difficult
    to comprehend - since if it is not constantly changing and adjusting
    then it is not working (my opinion).
    
    I think I agree with Bonnie and with Bonnie_J.
    
    _peggy
    
    		(-)
    		 |	Is the EARTH a community?
    			I am afraid that it might be.
    
    				with that thought
    
    			I am in need of a peer group
    			and a very strong drink....
    
     
401.6some communities are differentIMAGIN::KOLBEMudluscious and puddle-wonderfullTue Jul 21 1987 16:497
     
	Well, since you asked...I think the Enet is a community. I shudder
	whenever the thought of possibly leaving DEC enters my mind. I'm
	not sure I could handle the loss of the Enet "community". I feel
	a link with people from all over the world in both personal and
	business notes. I talk to you folks more than to my neighbors. I
	have more in common with most of you. liesl
401.7XANADU::RAVANTue Jul 21 1987 18:2036
    RE: the Enet as a community...
    
    Absolutely. I think for many of us it replaces the back-fence or
    front-porch model, when most of a person's friends were their close
    neighbors simply because those were the people at hand. (Even now,
    people who live in isolated areas where transportation is difficult
    tend to be more ready to get along with neighbors they don't like than
    those of us who can just hop in the car and escape. When you're the
    only two families within fifty miles you don't have a lot of choice...) 
    
    The network is the equivalent of dropping by for coffee or wandering
    over for a chat. We are electronic "next-door neighbors". And, while we
    aren't identical, we do have a lot in common with each other - most of
    the time. (I think that's why it's such a shock when somebody breaks in
    to a conference and ignores or blatantly violates the customs; imagine
    some cozy small-town folks sitting on the porch as a band of Hell's
    Angels roars by!) 
    
    I have other communities, too - family and friends scattered across
    the country, but with whom I can feel perfectly comfortable even
    if we haven't seen each other in years. It's a different type of
    relationship, but a good one.

    And special interests can make communities. Science fiction fandom,
    fantasy-role-players, people who discover they've read and enjoyed
    the same obscure books - these can all foster that sense of communion
    that makes it worth interacting with all those strangers. The more
    limited the number of shared interests, though, the more limited
    the "community" will be, and the less supportive.

    Perhaps the hardest thing for me to keep in mind is that I mustn't
    let the ease of electronic neighborliness make me forget about the
    "mundane" kind. Maybe I don't have to be pals with the folks across
    the street, but I shouldn't forget they exist, either. 

    -b
401.8who is the communitySTUBBI::B_REINKEwhere the sidewalk endsTue Jan 26 1988 13:0643
            <<< COLORS::$2$DJA6:[NOTES$LIBRARY]WOMANNOTES.NOTE;1 >>>
                        -< Topics of Interest to Women >-
================================================================================
Note 671.0                    Who is the Community?                   No replies
XCELR8::POLLITZ                                      36 lines  25-JAN-1988 09:22
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

          Who is the Womannotes Community?  On occasion I see
      writings that suggest that the 'Community' is the female
      members of this Conference.
         As of this writing there are a total of 338 F/M intro-
      ductions. In topics 2 & 7, there are 197 women (58.3%) and
      and 141 men (41.7%). As a ratio these pct's resemble a 4-3
      one (.571) or a 3-2 one (.600). As the numbers actually are
      it would take 15 new female members and no additional male
      'members' for the women to have a 60% majority in the Conf.
      In contrast if the Conf. gained 9 male members along with 3
      new female members, the ratio would be 4 to 3 F/M 'members.'
        Everything from the opening statements to Moderator comments
      to noter entries to screen headlines indicate that this Conf.
      is intended for women and 'topics of interest to women.'
      I understand such intentions as far as they go.
        My question is :  Just *WHO* IS the 'Community'?
      Is it a) Women 
         or b) Women and Men
    
      As a tangent, if the 'Community' is (b), what possible object-
      ion could anyone have to 'For Men Only' topics?  If male members
      are fully equal in this Conference, then it makes sense to me
      that men should be able to enter a 'FMO' topic in THIS CONF.
        I doubt that such 'FMO' topics would be common - much less be
      2 for every 3 that women write, but WHO is to DENY Men the NEED?
      What if other Conf's don't allow for such possibilities - where
      then do we really go?  Where do the Male members stand with regard
      to rights in this Conf.?
      
      But *that* is not the main issue right now. Question is:
    
      Just *WHO* IS the Community?
    
    
                                                     Thank you,
                                                               Russ
401.9STUBBI::B_REINKEwhere the sidewalk endsTue Jan 26 1988 13:1016
            <<< COLORS::$2$DJA6:[NOTES$LIBRARY]WOMANNOTES.NOTE;1 >>>
                        -< Topics of Interest to Women >-
================================================================================
Note 671.1                    Who is the Community?                       1 of 1
CVG::THOMPSON "Famous Ex-Noter"                       9 lines  25-JAN-1988 10:18
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    Based on some informal looks at acttivity I've done on other
    conferences there are probibly 6-10 people who read this conference
    for every one that writes here. We really have no idea of who is
    actually reading this conference. You absolutely can not judge
    the distribution of this community by just those who write here.
    I would guess that more of the read only women feel part of this
    community then read only men do.
    
    			Alfred
401.10STUBBI::B_REINKEwhere the sidewalk endsTue Jan 26 1988 13:1222
            <<< COLORS::$2$DJA6:[NOTES$LIBRARY]WOMANNOTES.NOTE;1 >>>
                        -< Topics of Interest to Women >-
================================================================================
Note 671.2                    Who is the Community?                       2 of 2
CASV02::AUSTIN                                       14 lines  25-JAN-1988 10:31
                          -< Whats the  point of it? >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    I know this alittle off base, but why would a man want to start
    a FMO topic in a notesfile that is for discussing topics of interest
    to women?  It just doesn't seem to make any sense to start a note
    that a woman cannot reply to in a conference of this nature...
    
    I am not saying it shouldn't be allowed but I just don't see why
    a man would want to do it...
    
    Just like I couldn't see a woman entering a FWO note in Mennotes,
    or a Heterosexual entering a FHETERO notes in GED, etc,.
    
    Its the same difference...
    
    T
401.11STUBBI::B_REINKEwhere the sidewalk endsTue Jan 26 1988 13:2580
            <<< COLORS::$2$DJA6:[NOTES$LIBRARY]WOMANNOTES.NOTE;1 >>>
                        -< Topics of Interest to Women >-
================================================================================
Note 671.3                    Who is the Community?                       3 of 3
JUNIOR::TASSONE "Can we buy a 30ft. Larson?"         12 lines  25-JAN-1988 12:52
                                -< ARRRRRGGH! >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    I feel HUMAN_RELATIONS conference is the place where both Men and
    Women can note together.
    
    Quite honestly, it doesn't matter one way or another who writes
    what in this conference to whom, at whom or about whom.  I respond
    less frequently now because I have found better opportunities for
    expression without attacks in several other conferences.
    
    And if this conference went away, I wouldn't miss it.
    
    Cathy (who is getting tired of these endless notes about women vs
           men.  I repeat: hasn't this gone on long enough?)
Note 671.4                    Who is the Community?                       4 of 4
ELESYS::JASNIEWSKI                                    7 lines  25-JAN-1988 12:57
                           -< We talk to each other >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    
    	re .2: To address the opinions of the community. We all know
    that conference participation is not homogeniously distributed across
    the topic set given in EASYNOTES_CONFERENCES.
    
    	Joe Jas
     
Note 671.5                    Who is the Community?                       5 of 5
ELESYS::JASNIEWSKI                                    7 lines  25-JAN-1988 13:01
                              -< What is popular >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    
    	Re .3:
    
    	But that's the thing....most people here....are interested in!
    
    	Joe Jas
    
Note 671.6                    Who is the Community?                       6 of 6
CASV02::AUSTIN                                       14 lines  25-JAN-1988 13:16
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    RE .4
         
    >re .2: To address the opinions of the community. We all know
    >that conference participation is not homogeniously distributed across
    >the topic set given in EASYNOTES_CONFERENCES.
         
    And...?
    
    
    
    
    
    T
     
Note 671.8                    Who is the Community?                       8 of 8
FLOWER::JASNIEWSKI                                   13 lines  26-JAN-1988 07:47
                               -< We're special >-
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    	re .6
    
    	And the community, or set of people who choose to note here,
    in WOMANNOTES, is not the same as those who note in say,
    Human_Relations or MENnotes. Therefore the "audience", if you will,
    is special to this conference. I can think of an example, but won't
    be explicit by name, of someone who notes here but not in MENnotes.
    That's the only reason why someone would be apparently illogical in 
    placing a FMO note in the WOMANNOTES conference, that I can think of.
            
    	Joe Jas
    
401.12Candles in the WindMCIS2::POLLITZThu May 26 1988 06:0054
    def 1:  Is a partnership of women and men.
    
    def 2:  Is a single sex partnership.
    
    
    Conference intellects currently view women as gylanic and men as
    androcratic.  With the best of all possible worlds def #2.
    
    I believe that the sexes are as gylanic/base as the other and that
    def #1 is the best kind of partnership to seek (in most any Conference
    or Community).
    
    I do think that scholars such as Eisler (topic 478) have at least
    part of the picture right.  
    
    Theories regarding sexual gylanic origins/changes involve questionable
    premises as do ideas on matters such as the wisdom of separatism
    within an Egalitarian Society.
    
    What is important is the idea of women and men caring for each other
    and working toward realizable goals. 
    
    I think that Conference intellects are neglecting the idea of a
    'Partnership Society.'  They are working on the building of def
    #2.  This comes at the expense of def #1. 
    
    Men here are seeking a partnership with women.  Conference intellects
    are not seeking a partnership with men at this time.  
    
    Reasons for these disparate views involve ideological beliefs and
    unsatisfactory dealings with some men in personal life.
    
    Since men are interested in a better Partnership Community, revealed
    is the creation of a sexual inequality.  An inequality caused by
    Conference intellects who are pursuing ideas and policies that are
    slanted more towards def #2 than def #1.
    
    That these intellects do not participate in a Conference like Mennotes
    further suggests that priorities are focused on def #2.
    
    With respect to the 'Big Picture', a F/M Partnership is what this
    and other Gender notes Conferences should be seeking.
    
    With this 'longer horizon' in mind, the kinds of Policy questions
    that could be better asked/sought, would be more along the lines
    of FCO ( For Community Only ).  Not FWO/FGD.
    
    The latter is but yet another substitute for the 'Real Thing.'
    
    Until priorities are put in better order, we aren't 'Family'.
    
    We're islands.
    
                                                    Russ P.
401.13Eh?..RANCHO::HOLTEyes in disguise...Thu May 26 1988 12:287
    re .12                 
          
     >Conference intellects currently view women as gylanic and men as
     >androcratic.
                           
    
    You lost me, Russ. Please unscramble and try again...
401.14JENEVR::CHELSEAMostly harmless.Thu May 26 1988 13:464
    Re: .13
    
    "Gylanic" is beyond me, but I suspect that "androcratic" means
    "adherents of male rule."
401.15Gylanic Cooperation vs. Androcratic CompetitionMCIS2::POLLITZMon Jun 06 1988 23:4837
    Re .13   Gylanic means a Community of Partnership in which Women
             and Men live in peaceful co-existence with one another.
             
             To achieve this peaceful co-existence between Women and
             Women, Men and Men, and Women and Men, people need to
             change. 
    
             The change involves the elimination of destructive hierarchies
             in private and public life. More specifically, the changes
             involve gearing traditional male behavior ( dominant, oppress-
             ive, destructive impulses ) toward the life-affirming,
             caring, nuturing types of behavior.  Women are traditionally
             identified with these positive characteristics - hence
             the 'gylanic' term.
    
    re .14   Quite right Miss Chelsea.  
    
             Androcracy is rule by Men, rule that involves hierarchies
             destructive by their very nature.  The Male 'systems' that
             pervade the cultures of the Earth are hierarchies that
             oppress and dominate Women (and Men).  The Male himself
             has built these structures, structures that reflect the
             character of Man.  
    
             Feminist scholars such as Eisler view 'the System' as
             completely undesirable.  
    
             Power is votes and money, and Women have both.  
    
             Add ideological focus and political clout, and it becomes
             clear that various 'Cultural transformations' have occurred
             and will occur for some time to come.
    
             For better or worse.
    
    
                                               Russ P.
401.16Reply to .12, Russ, (Community, not Family)NEXUS::MORGANHuman Reality Engineering, Inc.Sat Jun 11 1988 15:5025
    Russ, I haven't read any of your material in months. You seem to
    have changed quite a bit. Congrats!
    
    =wn= is not really a family, it is more a psuedo-family. In fact any
    reference to 'family' without qualifications of what is being meant is
    misleading. It's misleading because of the problems of electronic
    media. I think the family (artificial analogy) needs to be dropped and
    community (reality) needs to be emphasised. 
    
    Community it is. In fact there can be many different facets of
    community without those facets agreeing on major issues.
    
    And as a community, various interests need their semi-private space.
    This is emulated with FWO topics. FWO topics serve this electronic
    community well.
    
    The electronic reality is that we are electronic islands. Islands that
    communicate via an electronic medium. Many rules for face to face
    communications don't really apply here. Some things we can emulate
    well, others we only kludge.
    
    It's been almost a year now. Why do you hold on to this issue? Let
    it go. It matters much less than the effort you put into fighting
    or changing it. Besides, your efforts will change nothing. Let's get
    on with building the community, not the facade of 'family'.
401.17Cart before the Horse?MCIS2::POLLITZTue Jun 14 1988 02:293
       OK Mike, I'll let it go.
    
                                               Russ P.