| T.R | Title | User | Personal
Name | Date | Lines |
|---|
| 400.1 | Thinking along these lines myself | USSCSL::MICHAELS | Why Soitanly... Nyuk Nyuk Nyuk | Mon Jul 20 1987 15:38 | 17 |
| If your friend is as deeply troubled about this as you're description
of her leads us to believe than she may want to recieve some counseling
prior to making any decisions. I am sure as well that there are
plenty of books on the subject. Being a 28 year old single male
who has begun to think about having a family some day more and more
I very much sympathize with what your friend feels.
As far as the baby clothes go... I still have my first baseball
mitt and bat and sometimes I think of these items in the same ways.
Why do I save these things ??? They may remind me of more carefree
days and I would like to show them to my children someday even if
they are dated.
Larry
|
| 400.2 | go for it! | STRATA::DAUGHAN | fight individualism | Mon Jul 20 1987 15:53 | 6 |
| i see nothing wrong with it myself as long as she is able to support
the child emotionally and physically(money).
i agree that she should have counseling first,and hopefully family
support.
i applaud her.
kelly
|
| 400.3 | | MANTIS::PARE | | Mon Jul 20 1987 17:08 | 5 |
| If she can afford to support a child by herself and is prepared
for a lifetime committment (knowing the stress and difficulties
involved), then I see no reason why she shouldn't either adopt a
child or use whatever technology we have available to have a child.
|
| 400.5 | A kid or a dollL? | DELNI::SILK | | Mon Jul 20 1987 21:25 | 5 |
| Can't help but wondering if what she really wants is a kid
or the "cute" accoutrements. Kids are pretty wonderful
but also a lot messier and more difficult than their toys.
Nina
|
| 400.6 | Well ....I did | STUBBI::B_REINKE | where the side walk ends | Mon Jul 20 1987 21:57 | 7 |
| Well it has been many years, but yes I did collect kids things
before I got pregnant. Primarily books, but then I didn't have
a lot of money and I had my first child at 25 so I really didn't
have a long time to collect either. I have heard of other women
who have done the same. It is sort of a nesting instinct to my
mind.
Bonnie
|
| 400.7 | Sortof, for both of us | HUMAN::BURROWS | Jim Burrows | Tue Jul 21 1987 01:15 | 8 |
| My wife and I bought children's books for years before we had
kids, but they are *our* books and the kids are read to out of
them and enjoy them, but they are stored on our shelves. I have
also kept my teddy bear for years. I think that all of this is
related to our desire for children, but is also related to our
own love of the things of childhood.
JimB.
|
| 400.8 | makes sense to me | WEBSTR::RANDALL | I'm no lady | Tue Jul 21 1987 01:49 | 15 |
| I personally didn't collect baby things before I got pregnant partly
because I was only 19, still in college, and not yet thinking of those
things. But I was one of the few girls I knew who didn't have at least
one or two little toys, pretty blankets, or such stashed away against
the day when we would want to be mothers.
Since then I've known a number of women, both married and unmarried,
who have collected baby things.
If you think you might ever have a child, it's a sensible thing
to do -- that way you don't have to buy it all when you're paying
off the already high medical bills and so on.
--bonnie
|
| 400.9 | \ | BEES::PARE | | Tue Jul 21 1987 10:08 | 5 |
| I did this too just before having my boys. Little stuffed animals,
bonnets and baby stuff.. they all smelled so good and were so cute
and frilly and babyish.
Oh God! ... I'd better get ahold of myself.
|
| 400.10 | As long as it doesn't hurt anyone else! | JUNIOR::TASSONE | July 30th - 1 year Anniv | Tue Jul 21 1987 11:25 | 24 |
| A collection of objects can be labelled in three (maybe more) ways:
1) hobby items
2) preparation items
3) obsessive/compulsive items
If the child-like items are stored away in preparation for a child,
then by all means, tell your friend there is nothing wrong with
that. Collecting things as a hobby, nothing wrong with that. But
if by chance your friend collects these items as a compulsion to
have and to hope and she is depressed further and further, than
there may be something deep seeded that needs to be brought
out through counseling.
I am "no" authority on this subject. I have no children. My only
reason for implying a compulsion is the nature behind .0. My only
support for this is based on my Bachelor of Science degree in
psychology.
For more information on obsessive/compulsive disorders, just ask.
One more thing, these behaviors are not necessarily bad for you,
as long as they don't affect the people around you, which in this
instance (.0), does not.
Cathy
|
| 400.11 | | APEHUB::STHILAIRE | waiting for an idea | Tue Jul 21 1987 16:18 | 15 |
| The only baby "things" I collected before I was pregnant were names.
Ever since I was a little kid I always had a mental list of what
I would name future children, and I kept revising it over the years.
Even now, when I have no desire to have any more kids, I know what
I would name them IF I wanted them.
I was 23 when I got pregnant, by accident, and hadn't consciously
started to desire a child yet, so I'll never know what I would have
done if I had actually desired a child for a long time before I got
pregnant. Of course, as soon as I found out I was expecting a
child I started buying things, even daring to buy pink occasionally
since I wanted a girl so badly.
Lorna
|
| 400.13 | (collecting things) | DELNI::L_MCCORMACK | | Tue Jul 21 1987 16:51 | 15 |
|
To each his/her own. We're all different and do things for
different reasons.
I'm due in 3 months and I haven't bought one thing myself or
felt like it. I never collected baby things because I never
thought I'd have a child. I did, though, keep a couple of
my own books, which I will now pass on down the line.
I don't even get off buying clothes for myself so I find it
difficult to buy them for someone else. I think a lot of
this depends on our own personalities. I don't go in for
cute and frilly and can just imagine some of the things I'll
drag home for my kid!
|