| T.R | Title | User | Personal
Name | Date | Lines |
|---|
| 328.1 | | CSSE::MARGE | Floppys, wobblys-what's the difference? | Sat Jun 06 1987 09:58 | 14 |
| I don't consider having a "best friend" as a substitute or
placeholder for a marital partner... in fact my best friend back
home has survived my two marriages... we met in high school and have
been best friends for twenty+ years.
When I want an honest reading on how really ridiculous I'm being
about (whatever) I just call Kathy and we talk. We make no pretense
of trying to agree with one another completely or at all... we do
try to be straightforward and loving of one another.
Marge
|
| 328.2 | A friend is a friend is a friend | JUNIOR::TASSONE | Spring Fling | Mon Jun 08 1987 11:02 | 13 |
| I too have been wondering about that. Having had friends come and
go in my life rather frequently (ALL THESE CHANGES!), I can't say
I have one "best friend". I have good, trusting,
say-what's-on-your-mind kinds of friends, but not a "best one".
I don't think it's fair, in some ways, to label someone that.
I don't know. Maybe I feel this way because I was never someone's
best friend. My SO and I feel that we have a great and loving
friendship but more importantly, a relationship where we love each
other and care enough to call each other "friends".
That's all that matters to me.
Cathy
|
| 328.3 | | SPMFG1::CHARBONND | | Mon Jun 08 1987 11:30 | 9 |
| There are many valid reasons to be friends with another pperson,many
areas of common interest,shared activities etc...different friends
for different reasons. I don't discuss Objectivism with my
fishing partner, or noting with the guys at the local bar. If
there is such a thing as a 'best' friend it is one with whom
you have the most interests in common. Of course, the greater
amount of time spent with such a person will likely lead to
a deeper friendship, but why does that diminish the quality
of other friendships ?
|
| 328.4 | | APEHUB::STHILAIRE | Chronicle of neglected truth | Mon Jun 08 1987 11:34 | 18 |
| I have six close female friends whom I consider to be my best friends,
but I couldn't pick one over the others as being my "best friend".
We are not a group. None of these six are close friends with each
other. I like them all equally and each of them fullfills a need
for me as I imagine I do for them.
Actually, right now I consider my current S.O. to be my best friend,
and for the first 7 or 8 years that I knew my ex-husband he was
my best friend.
I wonder if having best friends is related to women not liking other
women? Perhaps each woman wants to have a best friend or friends
that she can count on not to stab her in the back because she's
afraid that the vast majority of women are all enemies and/or
competitors. Just a thought.
Lorna
|
| 328.5 | that's what friends are for | SKYLIT::SAWYER | i'll take 2 myths and 3 traditions...to go.. | Mon Jun 08 1987 17:08 | 33 |
|
my current s.o. is my best friend, also. As a matter of fact, if
we couldn't be best friends....we wouldn't be s.o.'s! She has a
number of other friends, mostly female but a few male, who she can
spend a small portion of her time with before she needs to strangle
them :-)....and these are her best friends.
they, each in different ways, allow an outlet for different needs
that she has.
i use to have best friends but now, other than my s.o. and my
daughters, i maintain a small number of friendly acquaintances.
Mostly because most of the people i meet stopped growing when they
were 24 or 25 and i feel as though i've outgrown them.
or it could be cuz i'm a jerk and they are all normal...:-)
with my s.o., i've always, since we met, DEMANDED that she maintain
as many of her friendships as she wanted to. Too many people have
a tendency to lose contact with their friends when they start hanging
out with a new lover. Then, 3 or 5 or 7 years later, when the relat-
ionship is over.....the old friends are gone!
and then these people who gave up their friends for a lover
(sometimes because the lover demanded this!...jerk!) they feel
lonely cuz they got nobody!!!!!
silly.
so my s.o. has introduced me to most of her male/female friends
and we occasionally do things with some of these people. I have
done the same with my friendly acquaintances.
on nights that we can't be together, or we have no plans...she
calls one of these people and they do something.
this way...she's happy...and i'm happy...
and if/when we split up (hopefully with no animosity) she'll
still have her network of friends to help her out emotionally and
socially.
|
| 328.6 | | SUPER::HENDRICKS | Not another learning experience! | Tue Jun 09 1987 14:43 | 13 |
| I've had about 8 best friends in my life, and the intensity of the
relationship had a lot to do with having something in common at
the time. As I moved on to other locations, friends and activities,
I found that I added to my group of best friends, although I occasionally
subtracted from it due to lack of interests and contact.
I spent this last weekend with a woman who was my best friend in
junior high. We had a falling out during the last two years of
high school over values relating to drugs and boys, but she is still
one of my best friends.
I'm one of those people who is much happier if I know that I am
primary for someone, but primary does not need to mean exclusive.
|
| 328.7 | my 2$ | MURPHY::MORRISSEY | Tom | Wed Jun 17 1987 18:46 | 8 |
| I'd like to offer my definition of a (not the) best friend:
Someone who no matter how long it's been since you seen them, makes
you feel like it was just yesterday. (obviously this must be mutual)
this definition does not limit one to having only ONE Best Friend
Tom
(they_may_not_like_my_style...but_they_sure_know_who_I_am)
|